Username: spinder login type: sessions

:: 2008 17 August :: 4.58am

No more Arbys. Well - kinda. I need to work once a month to keep my employed status - and therefore be able to come back if I need too.

I just came across something I find amusing. Bush is pushing to redefine abortion as anything that can off a fertilized egg. I'm not sure how old this story is; or if he can muster it, But I hope he goes all the way; nothing like rustling up the democratic base in the middle of election season. Mayhaps he can lose a few more seats for his party while he's at it.

I say this because birth controll often works in this manner; by stopping a fertilized egg from attaching to the wall of whatever girl part it is babys attach too. (Its late, I'm tired, cant remember. Uterus mabye?).

A redefinition in the manner Bush wants would mean the fundies could quickly get all forms of birth controll banned, pending they found a judge that will go along with it.
It also means the basic method of in vitro would be out (or so I presume - at the very least they wouldn't be able to cull the extra eggs, as they would be protected. Woot for quads'nstuff).

Possibly thats not his intention either - but my god this is a bad idea on his part regardless. It would last at best the months until the new administration takes over.
Even if Cain takes the cake, he knows he cant sink the entire party by holding onto what would be the most politically damaging policy ever.

Stopping partial's is one thing; but dam - outlawing the pill will have half the country turned into revolutionary's overnight.

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:: 2008 15 August :: 10.44am
:: Mood: chipper

Being overly confident leads me to acting in ways that are not calculated, in ways that are true. Being confident leads me to act like a fool.

I'm going to work soon. Work. Work.

I guess I'll have some money this year. That would be nice since my college education is financed out of government loans. Maybe I'll know what it's like to have some money for a year or two before I have to start paying them off.

I'm being pessimistic.

One of the guys I work with at the Mt. Pleasant Meijer asked me if I would be a witness at his wedding if they opened up Massachusetts to out of state gay couples getting married. I guess right now you have to be a resident (old law from the 1800's so the South wouldn't get mad when Massachusetts wed inter-racial couples) to get married in Massachusetts-which includes gay marriage. Since they are residents of Michigan, and not Massachusetts, as soon as the law changes, we're going. It'll probably be around the first of the year. Needless to say, I feel extremely honored.

I was also informed that I might be getting the service desk trainer position, which is not a big deal at all, except that I get paid twenty five cents more an hour to sit with new people up in the learning center and warn them about angry people demanding the Michigan Scanning Award when they aren't suppose to get it. It won't take any extra time, and I won't really have any more responsibility than I do right now, which is absolutely fine with me.

I started taking my aciphex this morning. I hope that it works. I'm at the end of my rope with food. I just want to eat it all!! [wow, do I sound like a fatty now, or what?!]

On the up side, I'm wearing some pants right now that I've never been able to wear because they were too small when I bought them (when I was fifteen!).

Sixty two pounds down- hopefully no more!

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:: 2008 14 August :: 9.06pm

I'm in Mt. Pleasant. I'm working. I'm going to the library every morning because my computer doesn't like the rented charter modem and I get too frustrated to sit on the phone with at "Tech" person who I can't understand and repeats everything I say to them. Might as well just get a parrot.

I made lemon bars and gave some to Chris so I wouldn't feel guilty about asking him to use his computer. I took them to work, too, so don't think I'm that neurotic.

I haven't been able to eat for the past couple days because my ulcer has been acting up. My body is really stressed out from moving and working and the tests I went through earlier this month. I'm going to start taking my aciphex tonight. The doctor said that if it didn't get better fast enough or got worse, to start taking it. I guess it's now. I just want to be able to eat more than a bite of a protein powerbar without getting nauseated.

I work until Sunday, I volunteer at Central's band camp on Monday and Tuesday, Rueben comes Sunday night/Monday morning. School starts a week from Monday. First Kappa Kappa Psi eboard meeting is that Monday night; first general meeting is that Thursday. Wheatland is the second weekend of school, Rush starts the Tuesday after that, closed Rush is that Thursday, First Degree is Sunday; then it may slow down.

Oh, and I have to get t-shirts going for the Chapter, and I have to buy gatorade for band camp. Did you know they made gatorade powder that has like 100 servings? Yeah. I didn't know that.

Okay, so, in closing, I have to admit only this:

I love fan.

:: 2008 13 August :: 3.30am

Another thought I had today whilst working.

(Note - bad idea; horrid horrid bad idea. However I think to much. And right now I'm restless so I'll toss one of my bad idea's out)

That song they play to much by that hot chick on the piano mentions bottling up love.

Hold that thought. Time for a history lesson. Back in the good ole hippie days there was an inspiring chemist.. (or mabye a tweaked out hippie, but anyway), Who came up with the idea of taking regular strength L.S.D. and diluting it down to a very low dose and marketing it as "Orange Sunshine" or a few other various mellow sounding names.
It became very popular with people who didn't like the powerfull drugs that were being passed around at the time. This despite the fact that it was indeed L.S.D. My teacher compared it to the Minivan; there wasn't a market for such a thing until it was made.

So anyway - back full swing to Love in a bottle. As always - I always think on a tangent when it comes to songs I dont like. Questions popped into my head in the following order the first time I actually listened to the song.

1. Would there be a 10 cent bottle deposit?
2. Which section would it be in at the store?
3. Would love need to be carbonated?
4. Would naughty stores sell it in gag bottles to make an ironic statement?
5. Would it be a controlled substance?

This is where I got to thinking. See - we all know love (as we know it) is some pretty powerful shit. It has people doing far stupider things than most low tier drugs will inspire in a person. In fact, as a coincidence, If one looks at the brain chemistry of new love, it actually has a lot to do with amphetamines. As in METH amphetamines.

So anyway, after thinking about the Orange Sunshine - I got to thinking that someone needs to cook up some meth in some slow release form in an exceedingly low dose, alter the chemical makeup so that its legal - and sell it as love in a bottle.

Hard drug + low dose + cutesy name + legal chemical formulation = years of life destroying profitability.

However, the following problems abound.

1. Cooking meth is bad for your legal status.
2. Meth destroys you
3. The BlBrBa would make that whole slow release thing pretty hard to do.
4. Its a really bad idea in the first place.

And this has been another exciting episode of "What Rueben and Shea talk about at work to kill time"

Fin.

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:: 2008 13 August :: 3.16am

Well, one of my two last days not working in cedar springs just got flip flopped. This leaves friday as my last day off. Which makes me hate my work. Which reminds me of a story.

A Friday or so ago was "funny shirt day". A pre-sanctioned moral booster in which employee's are given the option of wearing a funny shirt instead of the regular uniform.

Seing as how I only have one shirt with 'funny' writing on it (Your mother should have swallowed you when she had the chance - its was from a stand up gig I saw), which was not going to fly, I just wore my smock.
After working for a while someone asked my why I didnt wear a funny shirt; being a smartass I responded that indeed I was wearing a funny shirt - but that they just didn't get the joke.

Usually I would just leave it at that. However this got me thinking that perhaps there is something funny about it. So after a half hour of pondering a better response (drive through gets boring) someone asked me again and I had a much better comeback.

See, whats more funny than selling your life away for minimum wage to a soulless corporate entity for a overtaxed paycheck in a time of rampart stagflation? See - thats kinda funny? Isn't it?

Well - at least in the self depreciative kind of humor I tend to like. Like when you stub your toe; Humor is abound in that, depending on the situation.

I think I'm rambling again.

p.s - I was going to hit 'update' but somthing just happened which needs mentioned.
A daddy long leg just walked over the dam screen with a moth in tow.
Seeing as how a daddy longlegs has huge @!#$ing legs - and the moth looked like a body. I thought there was a freaking monster attacking me for a second there.

:: 2008 12 August :: 8.45pm

I'm still alive, I promise. I'm having a hard time with internet access, and when I do have it, I'm typing a million miles a minute about kappa kappa psi things. Band camp next week=crazinezz.

p.s. - Rueben, I'm on chris's computer :).

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:: 2008 9 August :: 7.20am

I'll be up until 9ish or so - so feel free to call me if you get this before 9:30. If not - you'll read this when you get the tubes working; so in that case, loves you.

Anyway.

I'm still in an untouchable class at arbys - and not in the bad Asian way. More in the - we couldn't send you home even if we wanted too; cause no one else knows how to fix the M$#)%& F$%(&ing grease sucking contraption, type of way.

Sometimes I'm afraid I'll be stuck at that place forever. But then I realize I leave for at least 9 months in about a week. Then, depending on finances - I might be back for a few months.

Repeat that cycle - and then hopefully I can do something awesome, that doesn't involve the service industry.

Whatever. Life can be odd sometimes.
Knowledge is power; or something.

Quite happy with life.
Wish I had a decent job.
Really wish I had the willpower to avoid bad food while working at arbys.
I've never seen a yellow bird like the one just out my window.
Bouncy balls are fun for all ages; and if you cant find at least several minutes of ammusement form one - your childhood soul is probably dead.
I want tea, but the caffine would be bad.

For a moment yesterday, I thought I had a stroke. I was awake'ish, and doing dishes at arbys - and then I switched to a not so awake feeling.

I've never felt a perceivable change in mood without some outside factor such as being scared or ingesting alcohol - or taking a drag off a hookah. In general I figured it just doesnt happen. So when I went from somewhat peppy to very tired and mopey - I knew some change in brain chemistry had occurred. The only thing I could figure would do that was a stroke.

I was wrong - no stroke.

Which is good. Cause I dont think I'm in bad enough shape to have one - yet.
The meijer heart-o-matic-thing says I'm rather healthy - but we'll see.

One of these years; I really aught to go to my first post-toddler medical checkup. I've never had a phsyical; or a checkup; with the exception of a two minute deal that went as follows.

Me - "I'm pretty sure I have pink eye"
Doc - "Dam, boy! You have pinkeye"

My cat has a plastic bag tied to his tail - and is running around like a freak.

My fingers are now tired enough for me to go to sleep.
Please enjoy your day. My night begins soonish.

Random too long post that covered too many subjects is now over.

Over?

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:: 2008 7 August :: 9.17pm

I just finished my last day at Meijer. I'm leaving Saturday morning, and starting at the Mt. Pleasant Meijer on Sunday or after.

Things are getting back to normal.

I can't find my hair brush and it's making me quite devastated.

:: 2008 3 August :: 5.04am

More music ranting. Arbys will kill me.
If I can find better reasoning to snap than 12 hours of a radio station thats dedicated to playing the most overplayed songs 'over and over again', I'll snap; I'll snap good. I'll snap with the kind of clean break from reality that is usually accompanied by murderous rage or uncontrollable urges to jump off buildings.

I can only imagine a reason to snap better than 12 hours of 'Kissed a girl' repeated in forty minute increments would involve harmful chemicals accidentally imbibed whilst cleaning toxic mold in an unventilated space; Some other physical or chemical stress could tax ones health enough to mimic the absolute emptiness that song makes me feel after a few hundred times, but I have yet to experience it.

:: 2008 31 July :: 8.20am

Well, I went and saw the doctor yesterday after trying to go to work at nine and then working for three hours being extremely dizzy and holding myself up with the counter.

Rueben and Glor came and picked me up and Rueben drove me to my appointment. The doctor said it was either something with my heart (because during my recent physcial I was told for the first time that I have a heart murmur) or I'm hypoglycemic; so I got an EKG, some blood drawn, and they sent me home with at 24 hour EKG. So, I get to carry around a little bag with wires attached to me until two this afternoon, and then Rueben is going to take me to drop it off. The real EKG they did in the office was fine, and the doctor said he thinks the 24 hour one will be, too. But...but only thing he was worried about was that hypoglycimia doesn't explain why I couldn't walk for almost an hour and a half after I almost passed out.

I guess we'll see. I think my ulcer is healing. I was able to eat quite a bit yesterday (probably about 1300 calories), which isn't quite a bit, but it's a hell of a lot more than I have been able to eat the past few months...plus I didn't get nauseated!

So, as one thing gets better, another gets worse.

I have the day off today from work, doctor's orders. I have to work Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, so we'll see how it goes. I like the little vacation, but I don't like it's cause.

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:: 2008 29 July :: 8.54am

I almost passed out at work yesterday. I was processing a return and all of the sudden I felt a wave of heat come over me. I looked at the computer screen and it split into three screens (just like in the movies, in fact), and then I couldn't hear anything like I was underwater. So, I told my coworker to finish the return and I collapsed on the floor.

I called my parents to come and get me since I couldn't drive home, and I was wheeled out in a wheel chair.

I have the day off today, so I'm just resting now. I feel a lot better; I couldn't walk for a few hours after it happened.

It was really warm behind the service desk again, almost seventy nine. My dad was yelling at me saying that I shouldn't be passing out when it's only seventy nine and there are lots of people that work in factories where it's warmer than that. It put me off. I can't help it, and there's nothing that a doctor will be able to do. When it gets really hot and humid, I can't sweat, which makes me overheat. I don't know, I feel like I'm thirteen again and I'm getting yelled at for something I have no control over.

I'm not looking forward to this weekend, however. It's suppose to get up into the nineties. What do I have to do? Buy myself twelve box fans to take to work with me?

I can tell you this, I don't ever want to be wheeled out of meijer in a wheel chair again until I'm ninety and don't know the difference.

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:: 2008 28 July :: 12.11am

Ohh fark. I loves you.
"And I'm sure none of the engineers here were taught by teachers."

"Of course not. They sprung, full-formed, from the head of Hephaestus with a TI-84 in one hand and a copy of the Cliff's Notes for The Fountainhead in the other."

:: 2008 26 July :: 5.23am

I might be tempted to buy a cd for the first time in a great long while.
The two man gentlemen band has three of them. I only have a copy of 1.

I also want to buy a live algae strain - but that shits'spensive.

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:: 2008 25 July :: 9.45pm

April 18

the slime of all my yesterdays
rots in the hollow of my skull

and if my stomach would contract
because of some explicable phenomenon
such as pregnancy or constipation

I would not remember you

or that because of sleep
infrequent as a moon of greencheese
that because of food
nourishing as violet leaves
that because of these

and in a few fatal yards of grass
in a few spaces of sky and treetops

a future was lost yesterday
as easily and irretrievably
as a tennis ball at twilight

-Sylvia Plath