home | profile | guestbook


SOMNAMBULANT RAMBLINGS

recent entries | past entries


koalalady

:: 2023 26 April :: 10.57am

Ah - it still stings, how much I miss you.


jedibumblebee

:: 2023 21 April :: 9.29pm
:: Music: Panic! At the disco- this is gospel

Don't try to sleep through the end of the world and bury me alive/ 'Cause I won't give up without a fight
This is gospel for the fallen ones
Locked away in permanent slumber
Assembling their philosophies
From pieces of broken memories

This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart

Their gnashing teeth and criminal tongues conspire against the odds
But they haven't seen the best of us yet

If you love me let me go
If you love me let me go
'Cause these words are knives and often leave scars
The fear of falling apart
And truth be told, I never was yours
The fear, the fear of falling apart

This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart

This is gospel for the vagabonds
Ne'er-do-wells and insufferable bastards
Confessing their apostasies
Led away by imperfect impostors

This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart

Don't try to sleep through the end of the world and bury me alive
'Cause I won't give up without a fight

If you love me let me go
If you love me let me go
'Cause these words are knives and often leave scars
The fear of falling apart
And truth be told, I never was yours
The fear, the fear of falling apart

The fear of falling apart
The fear, the fear of falling apart

(This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart)
The fear of falling apart
(This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart)
The fear of falling apart

(This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart)
The fear of falling apart
(This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart)
The fear of falling apart

Leave a comment


jedibumblebee

:: 2023 20 April :: 11.19pm
:: Music: Bleachers- I wanna get better

I miss the days of a life still permanent
Hey, I hear the voice of a preacher from the back room
Calling my name and I follow just to find you
I trace the faith to a broken down television and put on the weather
And I've trained myself to give up on the past 'cause
I frozen time between hearses and caskets
Lost control when i panicked at the acid test

I wanna get better

While my friends were getting high and chasing girls down parkway lines
I was losing my mind 'cause the love, the love, the love, the love, the love
That I gave wasted on a nice face
In a blaze of fear I put a helmet on a helmet
Counting seconds through the night and got carried away
So now I'm standing on the overpass screaming at the cars

Hey, I wanna get better!

I didn't know I was lonely 'til I saw your face
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better
I didn't know I was broken 'til i wanted to change
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better

I go up to my room and there's girls on the ceiling
Cut out their pictures and I chase that feeling
Of an eighteen year old who didn't know what loss was

Now I'm a stranger

And I miss the days of a life still permanent
Mourn the years before I got carried away
So now I'm staring at the interstate screaming at myself

Hey, I wanna get better!

I didn't know I was lonely 'til i saw your face
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better
I didn't know I was broken 'til i wanted to change
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better

'Cause I'm sleeping in the back of a taxi
I'm screaming from my bedroom window
Even if it's gonna kill me

Woke up this morning early before my family
From this dream where she was trying to show me
How a life can move from the darkness
She said to get better
So I put a bullet where I shoulda put a helmet
And I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away
That's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself
Hey, I wanna get better!
I didn't know I was lonely 'til i saw your face
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better
I didn't know I was broken 'til i wanted to change
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better

Leave a comment


charlie

:: 2023 19 April :: 10.02pm

Matt Hinton was an artist.
So, in full disclosure, things aren't well.

I'd been struggling with some stuff for a while. Work stuff. Scared about my parents and kid getting older. Midlife crisis stuff. I'm 40 now. I joined this site when I was 18. That's a legacy.

Anyway, stuff got kind of bad and I took a short Pine Rest Vacation last month. I'm doing my middle aged millennial thing now. I read self help books. I see a therapist. What we all do. I've been getting by and telling myself that I'm doing alright as long as nothing major happens.

Then today the news broke about Matt. Matt held a special place for me in a sensitive time in our lives. A time when Woohu was thriving. That's why I'm posting here. This seems like the proper venue.

I'm upset that we drifted apart. I suppose that can't be helped. We went to a concert almost exactly seven years ago. He seemed to be doing well and we had a blast.

Along with the therapy stuff, I've been Journaling. I want to compose my thoughts over the coming days and write him a proper eulogy. In the meantime, I felt I had to publicly cope like this.

If you or anyone you know is struggling with mental health, the Partial Hospitalization Program at Pine Rest can be helpful.

Leave a comment


koalalady

:: 2023 12 April :: 6.36pm

I booked a rehearsal with an alt rock band based out of Raleigh! Here's the set list I get to prep:

Valerie - Amy Winehouse
Everywhere - Fleetwood Mac
Something to Talk About - Bonnie Raitt
Fade Into You - Mazzy Star
Linger - The Cranberries (Lake Street Drive version)

I sent them some old performance videos and recorded a very low-effort version of "Valerie" and they liked it enough to invite me out for rehearsal. I'm pretty excited!

Leave a comment


justadreamer

:: 2023 5 April :: 12.08am

I'll have been on this site for 20 freaking years this August.

1 Comment | Leave a comment


koalalady

:: 2023 30 March :: 2.49pm
:: Mood: a little nervous

A girl walks into an OBGYN and says, "Hey Doc, I'm looking for a man who can tie me up."
Had some tests done at the doctor today. Waiting for the results to come back on Monday. Kinda worried about how much I drank in my 20s and hoping I didn't do any long-term damage...so they did some bloodwork and labs and we'll see what happens. Next week I have an appointment with an allergist, a cardiologist, and a consultation for getting my tubes tied. Trying to stay calm and not get too anxious about it.

3 Comments | Leave a comment


koalalady

:: 2023 23 March :: 8.40am

I'm back to checking Craigslist for musician want ads. I'm back to coffee in the morning and checking my plants. It's a new day! I love you all, my mostly silent little community!

4 Comments | Leave a comment


koalalady

:: 2023 22 March :: 9.26pm

"If our 3 pt shooting remains as accurate as a drunken sailor tossing darts with a hooker in one hand and a hook for the other then I don't like our chances."
- G on the MSU Sweet 16 game against Kansas State on Thursday

Leave a comment


koalalady

:: 2023 22 March :: 9.30am

Sermon on the Song of Solomon interspersed with Van Morrison's "Crazy Love"

Leave a comment

Woohu.com | Random Journal