2019 20 July :: 9.30pm
:: Mood: No one cares how I feel
My faith in people will be my downfall. I don't know why I have so much hope for others to love me as much as I love them - friends - partners - this is why I haven't gotten close to anyone else in a while. This is why I don't let my guard down anymore. People want different things than you do - whether that means time spent together, affection, humor, closeness, goals - whatever it is, I always pick wrong; I always hope for more.
I don't know what I'm expected to do anymore. If you try so hard for so long and you're let down time and time again, how are you supposed to be expected to be calm and cool and collected? How are you supposed to assume the best any longer?
All the red flags just pass me by with my rose-colored glasses. They are all unique, beautiful people that will eventually come around. Time has shown that's not the case and people will continue to disappoint me and I will continue to love them just as I always have.
I happened across an old recording of this drum pattern I'd written for basement audio lab. It was a crappy demo version consisting of me tapping on my legs and kicking the mic stand. It was virtually unlistenable, with a horrendous click track going in the background. I was surprised to find the pattern came much more naturally to me this time around, and the click was not necessary. I just wanted to make a better recording of the part for future reference. I don't know what prog rock band I'm going to join someday that will have a need for a part in 7/8 time, but you never know. When the time comes, I guess I'll have this to contribute.
Doing fills in 7 is hard. It's not a natural thing to feel when you were raised on groups of 2 and 4. Most people understand 3, I guess. Waltzes and such. Sometimes you'll hear radio stuff in 6 (which is really just 2 groups of 3, or 3 groups of 2, depending). 5 and 7 are a lot trickier, since you're mashing a 2 and a 3, or a 4 and a 3, or 2 twos and a 3 together at once. Makes it harder to find the downbeat. Actually, what I really like to do is carry it over 2 measures, then the "down" beat becomes the "up" beat for the second measure, before it turns back around again.