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2006 19 March :: 10.18 pm
Well this weekend was pretty good. Friday I hung out with Aaron. Saturday I went to Olive Garden and then Elyse, Stacy, and Aaron came over and we went to the musical only to see Dani. Then Aaron came over afterwards and today I hung out with Dani and Stacy.
Stacy is at my house right now. She's sleeping in our guest bedroom lol.
Ohh and I can't forget my story. On Saturday I was at the gas station with Elyse and we were meeting my dad there because he had to give me something and anyways I threw my gum wrapper out my car window and a cop pulled up behind me and walked to my window and was like "what did you throw out the window?" and I was like "umm a gum wrapper" and he goes "do you know that's illegal, a $500 fine, and you could go to jail" and I was like "no, I didn't know that" and then he made me get out and pick it up and then my dad pulls up and at this time Elyse is laughing hysterically and so am I. I couldn't help it. I thought it was amusing. So then my dad was like "what's going on?" and I'm like "well I threw a wrapper out the window *sarcastically*" and my dad was like "God dammit Ashley I always fucking tell you not to throw shit out the window!" and I'm like "umm no you don't dad, you never tell me that" and the cop was debating on whether or not to give me a ticket and my dad was like "give her a ticket, actually give her two of them" and I didn't care if I got one or not because I wouldn't end up paying for it anyways and I have no idea how this works but the cop said since I'm a minor my dad would have to pay for it which doesn't even make any sense to me and then the cop was like "do you pay for your car" and i'm like "no" and he goes "how about your insurance?" and I was like "no" and then he said "how about gas?" and I was like "no" and then he goes "Do you pay for anything? and I was like "nope" and then I started laughing and he goes "it's not funny!" and then Elyse was like "don't you have better things to do besides harassing us, like...solving crimes?" and the cop just looked at her. I'm suprised he didn't arrest her for saying that or something but I couldn't help but laugh. The cop said since he let someone else off the hook today he guesses he'll let me off too so I didn't get a ticket luckily..oh and then the cop pulls up to get gas afterwards and my dad walks to his truck and he gets out all of the trash he has and he walks to the trash can right by the cop and throws all his stuff away. I was like what the hell...way to suck up to the cop. I don't know why my dad told the cop that he always tells me not to throw stuff out the window because he never tells me that and I barely ever do that to begin with. It all makes me laugh. We went through all that because I threw a gum wrapper out my window. Good god..
6 shooting stars |
lie awake |
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2006 19 March :: 5.44 pm
If I knew that you were leaving, I wouldn't have waited so long. I would have left so long ago and if there really still was something left to say to you, you'd realize just what is true. How i've been blamed for everything you do, cause it can't be all my fault, it still takes two to break apart the truth. I learn, I still learn. Every single day.
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2006 17 March :: 5.00 pm
Today is St. Patricks Day. Do I even know what it is? Not really? I feel like a complete moron right now but I'm not Irish so I don't celebrate it and I know some people do even though they aren't Irish but I don't know what the whole meaning behind it is. I didn't even know it was St. Patricks Day today in the first place and when I got to school and seen everyone wearing green, well let's just say it sorta clicked. Everyone kept pinching me and I was just like fuck off.
I had a pretty embarrassing moment today. Elyse and I were in Seminar and we walked out and we went upstairs so I could turn in something to Mrs. Laidlaw for english and I was carrying my folder with the paper on top which I wrote in pencil and obviously my folder was up against my chest sorta since that's just how us girls carry our stuff and anyways I went to hand her my paper and she was like "what does all this say?" and I'm like "what are you talking about?" and she pointed and then I realized that half of the paper was smeared and I look down and like my whole shirt was covered with...well I don't even know what you call it..pencil smearings haha...it was embarrassing but good thing I had another shirt on under it.
Speaking of english...well I really hate that class. We are reading the dumbest book possiable and our class is almost finished and Kelli and I are still on chapter 3. I can't pay attention and I have no idea what is going on and we have this big test on it and we have to write an essay. School seriously sucks. I'm just going to go to sparknotes and read what happens so I somewhat pass the test.
I guess I'll take this just because everyone else has and it will entertain me for about three minutes.
I've kissed...
01. [x] on the cheek.
02. [x] on the lips.
03. [] on their hands or fingers.
04. [x] in my room.
05. [x] in their room.
06. [x] of the opposite sex.
07. [ ] of the same sex.
08. [x] a little younger than me.
09. [x] a little older than me.
10. [x] with black hair.
11. [X]with curly hair.
12. [X] blonde hair and blue eyes.
13. [ ] with red hair.
14. [x] with straight hair.
15. [ ] shorter than me.
16. [ ] with a lip ring.
17. [x] who i truly love/loved
18. [x] who was drunk.
19. [ ] who was high....
20. [x] in the morning.
21. [x] right after waking up.
22. [x] just before bed.
23. [x] late at night.
24. [X] who i had just met
25. [X ] who I really didn't want to kiss.
26. [x] just talking not dating.
27. [x] on a bed.
28. [ ] in a graveyard.
29. [x] at school.
30. [x] against a wall
31. [ ] at a show.
32. [ ] at the beach.
33. [ ] at a concert.
34. [ ] in a pool.
35. [x] who was/is a good friend.
36. [] in the rain. (I want to though..we'd be like Allie and Noah)
37. [x] with a mole on their body
38. [] in the shower
39. [x] in a car/taxi/bus.
40. [x] in the movies.
41. [] in a bathroom/laundry room
42. [x] in the dark.
43. [ ] on a roof top.
44. [ ] under water
45. [] while driving
46. [X] a stranger
47. [ ] more than one person at once
48. [x] crying
49. [x] goodbye forever (I didn't really think it was goodbye forever but I obviously it was)
50. [x] when i was drunk.
51. [ ] who didn't speak english
52. [ ] in a hot tub
53. [] in an elevator
54. [x] an ex
55. [X] last night.
56. [X] Just today.
Well I guess I should go get ready to go to Aarons tonight. Have a good weekend everyone!
<3 Ashley Megan!!
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be.
4 shooting stars |
lie awake |
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2006 15 March :: 10.49 pm
If you see me walking with someone else, it's not because I love him. It's because you're not brave enough to walk beside me now.
If you see me smiling, it's not because I've forgotten you. It's because I'm tired of crying for you.
If you see me living again, it's not because I wanna get back at you. It's because I want to get back what you took from me.
But most of all
If I fall in love with someone else, it's not because I wanted to.
It's because you were never there to catch me and love me back.
This is so difficult for the both of us. I know I tried so hard, there's just no hope right now. Well it's more than a shame that I lost to this game. All my walking, talking, sleeping, breathing- -
nothing will ever be the same.
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2006 13 March :: 9.58 pm
Well let's see here. The National College Fair wasn't all that bad. None of my friends even knew what it was. We honestly went just to get out of class and Mr. A told us we'd get free pens which was a lie lol. Not that I don't have enough of those anyways but out of all the colleges I was only interested in two of them which are both in California. Imagine that? I know. I sort of want to go to The Fashion Insitute of Design for fashion design obviously. I don't really know which one I'd go to. They have a school in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Orange County, and San Diego. I've would probably say Los Angeles or Orange County and then the other school is The University of San Francisco. So besides those two schools, the whole thing was a big waste of time but we missed almost the whole day so I guess I can't complain too much. I was talking to the guy that works at The Fashion Institute of Design and that is where LC from Laguna Beach goes. Haha I made sure to ask him that. He said he knows her pretty well. Well, thats nice. I'm not going to go there just because she does because I honestly could care less it's just I thought that was pretty interesting and I don't even know if I'm going to go there in the first place. It's just a small option I have. I still really really want to go to USC. I don't even know yet.
Okay so enough college talk.
I feel like my house is going to blow over any minute. That might be unfourtunate.
I can't let you go. It's who I know.
<3 Ashley
4 shooting stars |
lie awake |
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2006 12 March :: 8.45 pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: The Veronicas-4ever
I can honestly say that today I had my doubts about all of this but after that talk I realize I don't have any reason to doubt things and that things are just the way they should be.
Come on baby we ain't gonna live 4ever, let me show you all the things that we can do, I know you wanna be together, and I wanna spend the night with you.
2 shooting stars |
lie awake |
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2006 11 March :: 12.57 pm
Lisa and I are procrastinators and we figured since Spring Break is coming up we should probably buy our tickets to Florida so that's what we did today and the total for both of us was $1,000. Yeah, that's what happens when you wait so long. We should have gotten them a long time ago but I always wait until the last minute to do everything. Oh well I guess. $1,000 later and we're off to Florida soon. Thank god. We both need to get out of this horriable place.
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2006 10 March :: 11.01 pm
:: Mood: Happy
:: Music: Motion City Soundtrack-My Favorite Accident
I really hate calls like those. Calls when you can't even understand your friend because they are crying so hard. I don't even know what to say to make her feel better. It's hard for me to imagine being that upset because I haven't been that way in a long time and right now I'm genuinely happy. I feel so useless because some of my friends really need me and yes I am here for them it's just I can't always help them in the ways they need to be helped. It really makes me sad to see her like that because I can honestly say that less than a month ago I was the same way. It's hard. It hurts. I know. I've been there and I'm sure I will be again someday. I never believed that something great would come along and make me forget about all those things that were bringing me down but eventually it does and you just need to learn to let go of the people who cause pain. It's not worth being down. I've learned that the hard way. I have no idea how talking about my friend turned into something like this but I just hope that things start to look up for some people who really need it and they know who they are.
This morning when I pulled into school Bruce was already parked and he waited for me and we walked into school together and he told me that he feels like today was going to be a good day and I just had a feeling it wasn't going to be and sure enough it really wasn't. I was such a bitch to everyone for no reason. I was just so upset that I could've cried. I have no idea why I was upset but it was just one of those days but I think I really just needed to talk to this person and after we talked and everything was better. So I apologize for being that way today.
Mishy: I'm pretty sad because those wonderful sunglasses that you bought for me have been stolen by Aaron. He was wearing them after school and he told me he'd give them back tomorrow. He has like ten things of mine at his house haha.
I guess this is all for tonight. I'm just rambling on.
<3 Ashley
4 shooting stars |
lie awake |
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2006 9 March :: 10.58 pm
:: Mood: Tired
:: Music: Panic! At The Disco//Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off
Aww I love those moments when you say those things. It's so adorable.
This week has gone by so slow but it's definitely been worth it. So much has happened this week and so many things have changed it's unbelievable. I'm happy. Everything is pretty much wonderful. I'm off to bed. Goodnight!!
I love you all.
<3 Ashley
lie awake |
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2006 8 March :: 10.49 pm
:: Mood: tired
Tonight was fun. I hung out with Emily Esch and Elyse until the game. Emily always wants to drive my car but when she asks me we are always on our way somewhere so I always say no but then today she asked me again and I told her she would have to call my dad and ask him if he would let her since he wont let barely anyone drive it unless it's him or me and I really didn't think she would call him but she did and sure enough he said yes because she is definitely one of his favorites out of my friends. They sat there and talked on the phone for like five minutes. I was like seriously just drive lol!!
Once I get everything straightened out and I begin to enjoy life...something happens. It happens because there has to be some kind of event that hits me in the face and makes me realize that it's not all gonna come easy.
Part of me just can't let go of the past and the other part tells me I have no other choice.
Having that talk with you made me realize that we have so much more in common than we ever thought. We are almost like the same person and it's good to know that someone thinks the way I do. I guess you always understood those things in me.
I think this is how things are going to be and I'm really happy right now. For once I finally feel like this is something real.
4 shooting stars |
lie awake |
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2006 7 March :: 7.51 pm
Everytime we touch I get this feeling and everytime we kiss I swear I could fly. Can't you feel my heart beat fast? I want this to last. I need you by my side. Everytime we touch I feel the static and everytime we kiss I reach for the sky. Can't you hear my heart beat slow? I can't let you go. I want you in my life.
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2006 6 March :: 10.53 pm
I'm not exactly sure what I should say. Everything I do is a mistake. Your attention is attention. It doesn't matter if it's real or fake. I'll take it if I get it. I've made up my mind. I'll do it over any time.
You're over it, over me. Present just physically. Last words from the dying scene, you're over me.
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2006 5 March :: 9.41 pm
:: Mood: Tired
:: Music: Motion City Soundtrack//The Future Freaks Me Out
<3
I think I'm just being paranoid. I always feel like I need to know what's going to happen and if I don't know what's going to happen then I freak out. It's not really necessary but I can't stand that feeling.
This weekend was extremely exhausting. I barely slept. Friday night I went out to dinner with my family in Lansing and then I went to my friend Missy's house. She also models with me. We went ice skating with her two sisters Holly and Katrina and then their friends Tori and Haylie. It was really fun. They have an ice skating rink at their house. Weird? I know. Saturday we had modeling from 11-6 which was the exhausting part. Afterwards we had a fashion show and international dinner. They both we're really fun. Sunday we went to church and then I just went to my dads for a while to see him before he left and then I came home.
A few pictures from this weekend.
Read more..
When I got home today I found out that my mom put a phone line in my room so now I have my own internet. It's actually quite nice. I'm just being a lazy ass right now and I'm laying in my nice comfy bed talking to my friends on my laptop.
This week should be a busy week. I'm most likely going to all three basketball games on Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday with Lisa and Elyse and then Tuesday i'm hanging out with Cohen and then Thursday I'm going shopping :D
tomorrows monday..what a drag.
I would stay here if I could but I know it wont do any good. Maybe one day you'll understand something in me. It's something I gotta do. It's not you. It's something in me.
I still love you.
Did you expect me to believe I was the only one to fall?
2 shooting stars |
lie awake |
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2006 3 March :: 4.04 pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Ne-Yo//So Sick
Today was...interesting..to say the least.
Haha yes apparently Mr. McDonald did forget he had a seminar class so Mishy and I just left. We went out to eat and to Starbucks.
"Ashley, taste this, I think she gave me eggnog, instead of cafe' vanilla".
"Okay...*sips* mmm.."
"Doesn't it taste like eggnog?"
"...I've never had eggnog."
*both laugh*
Haha thinking about that still makes me laugh. I don't even know why I tasted her drink if I've never once tasted eggnog.
And yeah I'm really happy about what I said too. I'm just happy in general. I hope everything works out for the best.
I need to go pack though. I have to go to Lansing all weekend for modeling. I'm pretty stoaked for that business!! I'll bring my laptop with me. Haha I'm talking like I'll be gone forever but I'll be coming home on Sunday.
Well I hope everyone has a good weekend. Stacy we'll hang out next week because I miss you!
Love Always,
Ashley..........
You sit completely unaware of what I'm about to do
I am nervous that you won't be my lover. Oh, I adore you.
5 shooting stars |
lie awake |
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2006 2 March :: 3.25 pm
Fate fell short this time.
Nothing is forever and the time comes when we all must say goodbye to what we knew.
Goodbye to everything we had taken for granted.
Goodbye to those we thought would never leave us.
And when these changes finally do occur and when the familiar has departed and the unfamiliar has taken it's place, all any of us can really do is to say hello and welcome those new feelings.
You're the one who has to live with yourself.
[Stacy: I have no idea where you are but I really need to talk to you.]
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