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:: 2008 17 February :: 12.37 am

been crying all day
ugh.it's been a while.
i'm more fucked up than ever

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:: 2008 8 January :: 12.42 pm

update
1.I'm starting graduate school in less than three weeks
2.I'm working full time
3.I have completely severed all ties with my parents.They are part of the reason why I'm so fucked up and I really tried to be a good daughter but that wasn't good enough.I'm glad to have made the decision
4.I'm still single and even though I wouldn't say I'm loving it I don't mind it either
5.Things have been pretty good so far.My life is in order,I'm where I want to be right now,and I'm actually looking forward to the future

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:: 2007 18 December :: 3.33 pm

my boss
why i love her:

she does her christmas shopping on company time
she says things like "let me go pretend to get work done"
she's like a mother figure
she's extremely smart
etc etc

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:: 2007 10 December :: 11.44 pm

i'm thoroughly in love with Audrey Kawasaki's work
someone please buy me one of her paintings!


Oiran


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Two Girls


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Naisho


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Odaijini


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Ishiki


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Birthday Kiss


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

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:: 2007 10 December :: 8.20 pm

listen to Iron Maiden baby with meeee
i'm horny and i've been bleeding for ten days

fuck me

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:: 2007 6 December :: 12.48 pm

updated
1. I love my job
2.I refuse to accept that it'll never be possible for me to love another person as much as I loved my ex-girlfriend
3.I despise feeling any sort of romantic emotions for people.it makes me vulnerable
4.School's over for me.I'm done with my undergrad study.Grad school starts in January.
4.I'm happier when I'm making money.who isn't
5.I'm going to attempt to quit all my bad habits(smoking etc).this might turn out to be an impssible feat but it's my new years resolution we'll see how that goes
6.I will be buying a car soon
7.I hate driving with a passion
8.I need winter boots
9.I finally see my future and it's a happy one
10.I'm happy

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:: 2007 3 December :: 12.05 pm

job
I forgot to mention that I have a new job now at my school.I start tomorrow.'m super excited about it because I'm actually going to be making some real money,not the bullshit,can barely live on,crap I've been getting from my old job.yay!

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:: 2007 29 November :: 10.26 pm

aah poetry.so simple yet so profound

Bid me to weep, and I will weep
While I have eyes to see:
And, having none, yet will I keep
A heart to weep for thee.

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:: 2007 28 November :: 1.47 pm

dammit
i keep putting myself in compromising positions

when will i learn?

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:: 2007 28 November :: 1.25 am

baby Naimah's coming
my god daughter's coming tomorrow!!!!my god daughter's coming tomorrow!!!yay!!!!!

even though she really isn't gonna come tomorrow cuase my best friend doesn't feel anything at all,no pain nothing.

but her due date is tomorrow!!!

yay!!!!!!

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:: 2007 25 November :: 9.50 pm

thanksgiving
thanksgiving was...enjoyable...surprisingly.maybe because i spent it away from my family,with friends.sleeping in late.stuffing our faces till we were ready to burst.going to the club.going to the village and barhopping then finally resting at a hookah bar.fun..

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:: 2007 19 November :: 3.07 pm

Winter Haiku

1
The leaves are golden
On the trees. They will die soon
As winter unfolds

2
The snow fall's streaming
Sound ricochets on the ground
Soundlessly. I'm cold

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:: 2007 18 November :: 6.46 pm

Haiku for You

1
I breathe you in deep
In the misty morning light
My lungs burn from it

2
My pillow has your
Scent on it. Raw and famished
I yearn for more still

3
Your touch, electric
I feel your heart in my breast
I welcome you in

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:: 2007 11 November :: 8.39 pm

this is not really a poem but it sort of is
I write poetry but I'm not good at it.
I make stupid mistakes that I regret later.
I am a wound up ball of anxiety.
I talk too much sometimes but not at all at others.
I am a nerd. : )
I think too much and too hard sometimes.
I love watching movies.
I love to fall in love.
I am sensitive.
I am complicated.
I am always lonely,even with people around.

You will never know the true me no matter how much you try.But on the plus side,you'll never have to guess at my feelings for you.You'll never have to ask for my support.You'll always have a movie buddy.You'll love cuddling with me because I do it best.You'll sometimes wonder what I'm thinking when I have that far off look in my eyes.I probably won't tell you.We'll fight,and you'll think I'm cold because it seems I don't care.I do.I just don't want to show it.I will always be afraid that you're going to leave me,so I'll probably break up with you first at least a couple of times till I'm absolutely sure of your feelings for me.I'll never be sure.Our relationship probably won't last,but it will be the best one you ever had.I will love you unconditionally.But not at all.I'll never trust you,but you can trust me.I will bare my soul to you,but you'll still feel like you know nothing.

we are better off as friends

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:: 2007 10 November :: 11.06 pm

I'm insecure,shy and afraid.I hunger,I thirst for the opposite.To be carefree,extroverted,confident and daring.

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