Do what you want I can't stay this way forever


home | profile | guestbook

I'm not gonna let you break me

recent entries | past entries


:: 2005 14 November :: 12.09pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: people laughing

how much i am worth!
I am worth $1,467,000 on

I hate our school! how fucking dumb that i can't access any thing but woohu when it comes to a journal!



:: 2005 22 June :: 9.49am
:: Music: the wiggles

life after surgery...
hey yall! life sux here on the couch! how come no one's called me yet?!?!
huh? huh?
i will be at home like litterly 24/7!!! and i sleep like 15-20 hours outta/24 a day! so i WONT miss ur call. i am going to the Relay For Life on friday so i can see you there but caution i sadly have to be in a wheel chair. ok call me yall!



:: 2005 24 April :: 11.40am
:: Mood: disappointed
:: Music: grind on me -- Pretty Ricky

Its all nothing, it all means nothing ..without you here

So yeah its been a while. A long while i guess .. nobody write in woohu anymore. I def. miss it a lot. No actually i miss talkin about how i feel Somethign that woohu let me do. Unlike our darling livejournal, which also has its plus . But still .. =/

So today i went through and read like every entry on me and buttheads old journals. And now i sit here and cry.

But why? I couldnt tell you .

Maybe cause i miss her, or i miss us.

But no its something deeper than that. Im so disappointed in my self * notice the mood * i seriously am not the person i want to be anymore. Britts right, i have changed. And its not for the better.

What do you do when u dont want to be you anymore..



:: 2005 23 February :: 7.37am
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: my chemical romance . && mr . sadds country music playing lol

wow its been fooorever !!

wow i havnt updated since OCTOBER! no one reads woohu anymore but oh well im bored in computer class . well alot has happened since my last update, far far too much to explain . this journal brings back so many memories of last year . i have grown up so much since then .. =\

49 hours and 46 minutes ago
but whose counting
i just thought, I'd let you know
I filled my head with your voice.
And now I'm drowning

6 I'm almost there | HOLD ON


:: 2004 21 October :: 8.14am
:: Mood: crushed
:: Music: me & em singing tbs . .

Hey guys .. been SOO long since ive updated.. well not much news .. i go to mariner high now =] and im still with nick <33 7 months & still counting .. today is field day ! and hawaiin day ! =] cuz its homecoming week hehe . . im not sure if im goin to homecoming or not . . n e ways . . thats about it ..

Now I'm lying on the table
with everything you said
keep that in mind the way that it felt
when the most I could do was to just blame myself
remember more than you'de like to forget

6 I'm almost there | HOLD ON


:: 2004 14 October :: 8.47am
:: Mood: loved
:: Music: Nufin`- - Juhst Typin`

Hey its Ema` im on Brittanys WOohu ! <3333. We`re in 2nd. Period.. Puter Class =) Mr. Saad Moved me right by her =) And, im a happy muther effer` =) Brittanys bein` a sneeky sneeky wiff her "SNICKER CRUNCH" Lol. Its Crazin` Crazin`s Raisins ! <3 Hmm.. Well.. i`ll update Toniight if im at Britts house.. Which i prolly will be =) ilu* Brittany Marie Gamester ! <333

<3. Ema`

I love Brittany Marie



:: 2004 11 October :: 2.11pm
:: Mood: drunk

if only u knew what you do to me..<3.
Im jus updating this for my roman so she dont have to yell at meh again lol <3. I luhv you babi !!

Life is perfect ohh soo perfect. You guys really have no idea, im sooo happy rite now. Im soo happy being wif marissa, and i jus wanna say thanks to all my friends for being soo supportive and being there for meh through all of this. I luhv you all soo much idk what i would do without you guys. <3.

Today has been good, yesterday was better. The day before that sucked, and that nightb efore that was funny as hell lol. lmfa0 meh and kimmy left a drunken msg on the answer machine at my house lol. Kim was flippin out on meh, i started cryin, and screaming mom answer the fone cuhz i needed happy. WOW FUNNY SHIT lol..

I cant wait to get home tho, but luckily this is last hour so ima get going ..ill write again another time. I love you all ..latah <33.

8 I'm almost there | HOLD ON


:: 2004 29 September :: 1.15pm
:: Mood: bouncy

Life is nothing worth living for..

Okay ima update this jus for mah roman [ and britt i think? ] lol im not really sure, well im sittin here in web page design and were startin a new assignment that i should prolly start rite now, but oh wells i will try n write something in here first.

Today was okay i guess, nothin really happened lol, talked to mah babi rissa this morning all morning, cuhz jelly wasnt a dick last nite. Then came to school, got bitched out by a million ppl. Urggh. Im not doing drugs anymore, wtf?! I hate this skool. Then bio sucked, had a review for next class' test. Ima fail. Josh and i had the best time in geo tho. Godd i luhv that kidd =] Third hour we took a test. And jake brought meh my stuff early as a front. Cute kidd. I told him bout meh and rissa and i thought he was bout to get off lmfa0!! Then rite now 4th hour..were not doing nothin so its good. =P

I cant wait till i get home, i miss marissa soo much!! Then meh n heidi are going bowling lol. I luhv her soo much, haha she got dress code violation today. =] What a dumb bitch tehe. But neways ima go now, I luhv you roman!! <33.

Britt..i miss you. I need you. Please take me bak.

12 I'm almost there | HOLD ON


:: 2004 30 August :: 4.15pm
:: Mood: uncomfortable
:: Music: MTV

just listen
A bandage covers the blood. A sleeve covers the scars.

I didnÍt do it for attention so im trying to hide it. Its hard though!~ I think my parents caught on I covered it with bandages. I hope no one sees. I did it not for attention but bc I wont cry any more I will bleed.
Me and eric are ok now I still love him jus not too much, like before. I wont be blinded this time. I will see him for him and me for me. Ill split us up when we need to beƒ when I need to be! I love you stillƒ but I wont cry over you any more~ ill bleed. Do you get it now? CALL ME when you do

2 I'm almost there | HOLD ON


:: 2004 23 August :: 10.26am
:: Mood: indescribable
:: Music: eminem & D12- my band

i dont know what that big word means i jus like to use big words... to impress ppl~ i kno im a dumb shit!~i gutta lub me!
sorry that i havent wrote in a long time i have been camping 4 amonth straight -it sucked~~~ most of the time there were some fun parts~~~ like when i was in Brandens tent 4 a half-hour.!!! do i have to tell you why it was fun? lol

i have become worse than the old me~~ i found some things out about me that i didnt even fully know.~i cant tell you because i love you to much. i dont wanna hurt you or our friendships! i got a "xanga"journal~ its: pretty_girl_suffering

chels made it up for me!~thanx u i gott o go




:: 2004 13 July :: 9.53pm

this one if for my lover.
i <3 bailey.
i hope everything works out 4 you babe.
were hanging out soon.

x0x <3 x0x

4 I'm almost there | HOLD ON


:: 2004 11 July :: 9.42pm
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: me!

on Friday... i went to Erics house!~had a blast!~nothing happened just like there is NOT a hickey on my neck~lol~lol! ok fine there is but im not telling from who!~ it was me and SIX guyz!~~ i cant even remember all of there names! is that bad? jk i like 3 of them... i love 1 of them and i dont like 1 of them. i kissed 1... got kissed by 3... made out with 1... gave 1 hickie... got 3 (from 1 person)... proclamed my love 2 ERIC JAMES DALAS RATLIFF! i only kissed eric!~
Ande Anderson!

5 I'm almost there | HOLD ON


:: 2004 10 July :: 1.46pm

i g0t a lj n im probly gonna write in that m0re then this one but ill still write in this 0ne .. lj is s0o0o hard i hate it but n0 1 has w0ohu anym0re ...
kaayla ill help u with urz cuz i kinda know how to now =]
<33x0x Britt`* <33x0x

5 I'm almost there | HOLD ON


:: 2004 9 July :: 11.34am
:: Mood: disappointed
:: Music: fall

thanks for watching as i fall
yesterday was pretty g0od =)
i g0t int0 mariner =D
NiCk .. HiS m0m .. & Ema were the 0nly ppl wh0 actully cared =(..
x OBaBiBriTt xO6 guess wut pretty babii
Brem47 :what what?
x OBaBiBriTt xO6 : imm g0in 2 mariner
Brem47: YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!
x OBaBiBriTt xO6 : yes ma'am
Brem47 : YAY!!!!! OMFG!!!!
x OBaBiBriTt xO6 : i kn0w <3
Brem47 : YAY!!!!
x OBaBiBriTt xO6: ur the only person who cared <333333333333333333333333333
Brem47 :Praise the schOoL BoarD
hehe =) love ya em =/and then i went to nicks.. me nick n kayla watched the texas chain saw mass..n ate =) i love kayla shes 2 cute.. n then i helped kay pack .. *all set* lol.. n we ate dinner n nickz dad made fun of his cl0thz *IWBB* lmfa0 - s0 he changed cl0thz..n w0w i cant even xplain h0w d0rky he l0oked.. he put beige pantz on n pulled em way way up n then ha d lyk a pld shirt n tucked it in n then kayla parted his hair in the middle n 0mfg i have never laughed s0 hard..n then j0sh came 0ver n did the same thing - n then me n kayla went 0n the c0mputer n screwed with pe0ple.. brittany jiZz lma0 .. u smell lyk a chicken..i love kayla sosososososososososos much <3333 i love their wh0le family .. there m0mmie is s0 sweet & their dad is hillari0us <3 ...
anyway.. then my rentz picked me up and we rented butterfly effect =)
the rest of the night kinda sucked =/ i hate liars
=( n0 one gives a fuck about me anymore =/

im pretty sure jay gets home tomarrow..
i dont know if i can make it that long..
i cant think of anything i need more then to fall asleep on the phone with him <3.

and i give you my everything
and you still want more

11 I'm almost there | HOLD ON


:: 2004 7 July :: 10.08pm

close your eyes
Read more..

7 I'm almost there | HOLD ON | Random Journal