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stop saying that were invincable

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:: 2004 7 November :: 1.21 am
:: Mood: chilly
:: Music: underoath

youve got me up against your wall --
i dont know. im tired. my last update wasnt really about anything that i did. just some drama .. its whatever. i really dont care about that bullshit. last nite me and sam went to tweets for the fire. lots of people showed up. and the fire was nicee. i cant remember anything specific. um. .. oh man i feel reall bad. cus someone brought up bikes, and riders. and jay brown said that this one guy was the best .. and eric and richie were like..noo.. and then i said, oh richies gonna talk for this one. and everyone started laughin. and sam said that richie was like "whys it so funny" or somethin and looked mad. poor kid. i feel bad as hell. i dont know, its whatever. probably hates me now, but.. i cant fix that haha. hm, tweets mom came back with two new horses. and then we were all walkin back up front to leave and the new horses were in this thing that we had to pass. and she told us to walk along the fence [ of the thing that they were in ] because there were bails of hay. and as soon as we got close to it, cus the horse was right there.. it like, breathed out real hard, like the shit came out of its nostrils, kinda looked like steam. and it looked like it was ready to charge. and i screamed and just walked away. ahh i thought i was gonna die. haha. freakin horse. im stayin away from that one..

tomorrow me danielle and tweet and whoever else .. are supposed to go out to eat. get some tacoo bell mmm yess <33. i hope so, i havent had it in sooo long. then hang out afterwards, do whatever. man, my fuckin house is freezinnn. and sams house was madd cold last nite, and i slept with my gloves on, and for some reason it fucked up my finger. it fuckin hurts like crazy.. just the one tho.. so i dont understand. ohwell shit like that happens all the time.

i dont know, but im crazy tired. bed time.


i need help.

its all in your goodbyes

:: 2004 2 November :: 12.52 am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: story of the year--

oh, just a convo =)
haaaaaaaaaa read this shzzzzitttt lol

SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:36:43 AM): y0o
VoicE x unhEard (12:36:49 AM): hey
VoicE x unhEard (12:37:13 AM): fuckin jess sayin shit to you?
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:37:13 AM): sup?
VoicE x unhEard (12:37:16 AM): about how i wanna fight her
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:37:17 AM): yah
VoicE x unhEard (12:37:18 AM): shes mad gay
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:37:20 AM): jus sam
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:37:29 AM): i kno sam got loud wit her in Hmrm
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:37:30 AM): lol
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:37:31 AM): lmao
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:37:37 AM): me and gianna were dyin
VoicE x unhEard (12:37:39 AM): good
VoicE x unhEard (12:37:42 AM): jess needs to be hit
VoicE x unhEard (12:37:45 AM): shes such a drama queen
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:37:49 AM): lol word
VoicE x unhEard (12:37:59 AM): like you knwo the bs with danielle or w.e?
VoicE x unhEard (12:38:04 AM): its been done
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:38:06 AM): nahh
VoicE x unhEard (12:38:08 AM): and she kept bitchin
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:38:21 AM): yah shes likin the attentino prolly
VoicE x unhEard (12:38:56 AM): well stuff happend like.. at least 2 weeks ago..and danielle said fuck it were not friends anymore..and jess just KEEPS bringin it up like it matters..yet she says shes over it.. haha
VoicE x unhEard (12:39:15 AM): well tahts w.e ..but she ended up sayin...
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:39:24 AM): yah right yah shes mad gay
VoicE x unhEard (12:40:38 AM): "i cant wait until 'gi eye' gets off cheerleading so she cna kick your ass" so i was like.. uhmm dont get ppl to handle your shit..and besides im fine with fact, i like her more then you right about now. and she was like.. i wasnt gettin ppl to handle my shit ..i thought you guys werent cool.. so i was like ..ok jess your madd dumb you make no sense..just bascially STFU and she just wouldnt get it!! ughhh shes so slow its frustrating
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:41:13 AM): hahaa BLONDE
VoicE x unhEard (12:41:19 AM): hell yeah
VoicE x unhEard (12:41:32 AM): shes one step away from bein as ditzy as coryanne
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:41:39 AM): hahaha lmao
VoicE x unhEard (12:41:55 AM): and she keeps messin with different black dudes
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:42:05 AM): yah shes wack homiie lol
VoicE x unhEard (12:42:09 AM): shs gonna fuck with the wrong girls man and gether ass jumped
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:42:14 AM): they keep usin her and she dont get itt
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:42:18 AM): yuuuppp
VoicE x unhEard (12:42:22 AM): i know
VoicE x unhEard (12:42:53 AM): she seriously started the whole black guy thing cus no white guys were into her..unfortunately
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:43:03 AM): lol
VoicE x unhEard (12:43:04 AM): i mean, its no issue..who you like is who you like
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:43:05 AM): tru
VoicE x unhEard (12:43:20 AM): but if theyre usin you....wth..yeah keep goin back to em
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:43:22 AM): yup
VoicE x unhEard (12:43:22 AM): dumbass man
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:43:28 AM): i kno righttt
VoicE x unhEard (12:43:35 AM): lol
VoicE x unhEard (12:43:59 AM): idk she was the LAST thing on my mind. i could giv a fuck about her. but then she said that gianna shit FUCKK that
VoicE x unhEard (12:44:07 AM): i cant believe she said that wastn getin someone to handle her shit
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:44:14 AM): hahahaha
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:44:16 AM): wow
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:44:32 AM): shes been chompin on too many glu stix
VoicE x unhEard (12:44:38 AM): haha
VoicE x unhEard (12:45:19 AM): sam said she was arguin with her in class..and sam was lookin at her and jess would look at the back of the room and talk hahahaha
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:45:50 AM): yah omg whenever jess confronts ppl she can never look them in the face haha
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:46:01 AM): she gotpunked by a fuckin freshman dude
VoicE x unhEard (12:46:32 AM): shes "all about confronting ppl" ..and when we told her to talk to danielle IN PERSON she ws like..why..ill do it online.
VoicE x unhEard (12:46:39 AM): whaat? haha
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:46:41 AM): lmao
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:46:43 AM): wow
VoicE x unhEard (12:47:02 AM): hahaha
VoicE x unhEard (12:47:07 AM): she said...
VoicE x unhEard (12:47:56 AM): "im not gonna fight, im nto messin up cheerleading.. i gotta be a good role model" <--wtf.. nobody pays attention to her..she acts like shes a captian or somethin..shes some tall doofy lookin girl who spots..shes not even that good...i hate to break it to her.
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:48:14 AM): LMAO

SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:48:16 AM): LMAO omg
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:48:18 AM): hahahaha
VoicE x unhEard (12:49:13 AM): shes so about cheerleading.. its her life, shes willing to lose friends over it.. she aint even that good. shes not goin nowhere with it....shes throwin away good things bc of some fuckin clapping for football players jawn jawn haha
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:49:24 AM): i kno riiiiiiiiiightt
VoicE x unhEard (12:49:54 AM): shes just mad dumb i cant even deal with it.
VoicE x unhEard (12:49:58 AM): i want her to get hit
VoicE x unhEard (12:49:59 AM): lik whoa
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:50:08 AM): yah i wanna cut herr lol
VoicE x unhEard (12:50:11 AM): haha
VoicE x unhEard (12:50:29 AM): she told sam "if vee wants to fight me she cna tel me to my face"
VoicE x unhEard (12:50:40 AM): you know if i go up to her shell walk away or somethin
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:50:42 AM): lmao liek she owuld tell you to ur face
VoicE x unhEard (12:50:48 AM): i know
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:50:50 AM): haha tru or look at the ground
VoicE x unhEard (12:51:04 AM): shed be likle "no i dont havea problem with you".. as im walkin away "you fuckin bitch blah blah blah"
VoicE x unhEard (12:51:11 AM): what a fuckin hypocrit pussy
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:51:12 AM): lmao
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:51:13 AM): liek jon
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:51:16 AM): ahhahaha
VoicE x unhEard (12:51:22 AM): jons mad gay too
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:51:23 AM): kik her in the kneess
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:51:24 AM): haha
VoicE x unhEard (12:51:30 AM): theys hould go fuck each other
VoicE x unhEard (12:51:32 AM): should*
VoicE x unhEard (12:51:32 AM): haha
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:51:34 AM): hahah
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:51:35 AM): tru
VoicE x unhEard (12:51:38 AM): im about to kick her in the head
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:51:42 AM): lmao
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:51:50 AM): rofl ><
VoicE x unhEard (12:51:50 AM): thats a far kick but
VoicE x unhEard (12:52:02 AM): hahaha
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:52:05 AM): >_< lmao u crak me upp
VoicE x unhEard (12:52:14 AM): i suppose
VoicE x unhEard (12:52:18 AM): but its not hard to make fun ofa retard
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:52:33 AM): hahahahaha
VoicE x unhEard (12:53:58 AM): what a shit talker that girl is
VoicE x unhEard (12:54:04 AM): pussy ass shit talker
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:54:06 AM): l0l
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:54:09 AM): hahaha
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:54:13 AM): whoooaa! haha
VoicE x unhEard (12:54:37 AM): lol
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:56:36 AM): rock the green an white rock the grreen and white lmao how cornyyy
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:56:42 AM): and it ws on tv
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:56:43 AM): wtf
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:56:49 AM): we look like loserss
VoicE x unhEard (12:57:08 AM): oh man
VoicE x unhEard (12:57:08 AM): hahah
VoicE x unhEard (12:57:12 AM): the pep rally?
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:57:28 AM): yup
SeXxiLaDyPiMp (12:57:31 AM): lol
VoicE x unhEard (12:57:36 AM): thank god i wasnt tehre haha

you get the idea...

and jess, just stfu the danielle thing is over, she dont care.. what part dont you understand? .. and startin shit with me and sam, dumbass idea. and uhmm, sayin "i cant wait until gianna gets done cheer so seh can kick your ass" <--yeah thats deff gettin someone to handle your guy. yea, and one other thing. YOUR THE FUCK WHO BROUGHT ANY BS ABOUT FIGHTIN. NEITHER ME OR SAM SAID JACK ABOUT THAT. SOO YEAHH. HEY, IF YOU WANT IT TO BE THAT WAY, FINEEEE NO PROBLEM. like me sayin it to your face would makea difference. you wont do shit either way. WITH OR WITHOUT CHEERLEADING ON THE LINE. your such a bullshitter..cheerleading, ok..yeah. your so full of shit, why dont you just admit that..your not gonna fight either way. seriously, youve never fuckin faught at all, anytime of the year.. UHM CHEERLEADIN DEFF AINT AROUND ALL YEAR. soo yeahhh. just stfu, stop bitchin about dumb ass fuckin shit. its over ..move the fuck on. damn and stop draggin ppl into it. you made it this big of an issue you made it like she singled your ass out and look what it got you. its over. get the fuck over it. nobody cares jess...seriously. NO ONE..its been done. were only talkin about it now cus you bitched your way into this thing too..fuckin idiot man. god damn. .. have you ever heard that sayin "QUIT WHILE YOUR AHEAD"...yeah you should rethink that one right there.

comment bitch, i cant waiiiiiit for this one.

later =)

27 never thought wed make it out alive | its all in your goodbyes

:: 2004 31 October :: 9.31 pm
:: Music: mbr -- playing for keeps

tonights halloweeeen yoooo haha yessss

saturday uhm..
sam got a ride here and then we went and got danielle..went to walmart. officially for dog food but ended up buyin 3 nifty cow costumes.. fideen dollAs lol andd then someone had the bright idea to show up at jess's party in costume. so we all got dressed in the car and showed up in cow costumes =). got there and chilled in the basement, danced talked laughed. HIGH PITCH LAUGHS FROM SOME =X.. haha tara i love you!! just people alll girls. tweet was comin buttt.. sudden change of plans lol. its cool we had fun. me and sam got picked up around like.. 11?..11:3O maybe. got here.. waited realll bored. and then ryan pulled up. sexy ladies jess and sue come up and this guy takin his shirt off. haha. ddddaaavee. they called jess's mom and she said no she couldnt stay so they left. then we got reaaaaallllllllll fuckin bored. tryed to find a way out of here but.. yea no luck. passed out around 2 am. got up madd early cus supposedly jesse was comin at like 9 am..but no show.. so she called him and he said like another hour or somethin. got picked up at like.. i dont know 11:45 ish.. went to sams. then chilled, did whatever. saw the baby. that kids face is soo swollen. poor guy lol. uhm by like.. 3:3O my dad picked us up and off to marlton we went. yea, cus i had to take the kid around for a few hours and then i was free. so we got there.. took her around like.. 2 blocks.. 3 if you count the sides cus we did like a circle kind of thing. damn were so old, we got all tired fast lol. fuckin marlton, dont EVER go there for trick or treatin. them assholes give out pretzels and gummy bears. ..and half the houses werent around....assholes. idk. went back to my gg's and called tweet to find out where they were.. so they said theyd wait for us at bobdoles. ate some food. left by 6 and got to bobdoles by like 6:3O..then we just fucked around for sooo long until pagano showed up. then we finally went around. haha. crazzzzzzzzy shittt. ugh im tired as hell i dotn feel like gettin into it haha. idk.. i just know that.. this one skin head dude..he wouldnt give me fuckin candy bc i humped his blow up pumpkin thing...he called us asshole kids and wouldnt come out of his house until i left. douche bag..... ohwell lol. crazy nite, crazy costumes. dude..i was a fuckin cow. my face was painted white with 3 spots hahaha me and sam are soo gayyy hahahahaha yesssssss.

oh yes, lots of caaaaanndaaayy.

blah, im gone. laterrr

its all in your goodbyes

:: 2004 26 October :: 10.16 pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: its dangerous business walking out your front door

this is what i get for wanting more moving =\

i dont know much. just that the landlord called yesterday and said theyre sellin the house. of course, why wouldnt it just transfer over to the new owner..? who knows. its not the end of the world..i at least think my dads gonna let me stay in winslow because..yea its the middle of highschool and i dont want to leave....its way too much to just leave now. no way. too many awesome people and friends and no. just no, deff fuck that. ill go live with someone before that...seriously.

i dont know.....just a convo..

VoicE x unhEard (8:42:30 PM): craig
lFullCollapse (8:43:01 PM): vee
VoicE x unhEard (8:43:07 PM): help me
lFullCollapse (8:43:14 PM): with
lFullCollapse (8:43:16 PM): ...
VoicE x unhEard (8:43:21 PM): homework
VoicE x unhEard (8:44:08 PM):
H |
| C ------------O OH
C< H >C
| OH H H
OH C------------C
VoicE x unhEard (8:44:14 PM): what type of molecule is that
VoicE x unhEard (8:46:02 PM): is it the straight branched and ring shit
VoicE x unhEard (8:46:13 PM): or the fructose glucose bs
lFullCollapse (8:49:03 PM): whats taht
lFullCollapse (8:49:08 PM): do i have to do it?
VoicE x unhEard (8:49:51 PM): doyou have to help me or do you have to do somethin with the thing?
lFullCollapse (8:51:34 PM): do i have to do science homework
VoicE x unhEard (8:51:42 PM): oh
VoicE x unhEard (8:51:43 PM): no
VoicE x unhEard (8:51:50 PM): you already did it
lFullCollapse (8:52:43 PM): oo
lFullCollapse (8:52:51 PM): well i have no idea what that is
VoicE x unhEard (8:53:25 PM): damn
VoicE x unhEard (8:56:12 PM): water is a very effective solvent bc of its...polarity? haha
VoicE x unhEard (8:56:14 PM): i quit
lFullCollapse (8:59:32 PM): something liek that
VoicE x unhEard (9:00:38 PM): ok
VoicE x unhEard (9:01:58 PM): haha
VoicE x unhEard (9:02:00 PM): ....
VoicE x unhEard (9:02:39 PM): your kidding
VoicE x unhEard (9:02:44 PM): what the hell were you typing haha
lFullCollapse (9:02:48 PM): nothing
VoicE x unhEard (9:03:00 PM): oh ok
VoicE x unhEard (9:03:02 PM): lol
lFullCollapse (9:08:31 PM): you seem happy...
VoicE x unhEard (9:09:14 PM): i dont know
VoicE x unhEard (9:09:39 PM): my dad said i could look for houses in winslow district reason to be sad ..unless of course it doesnt work out
VoicE x unhEard (9:10:07 PM): you seem preoccupied..
lFullCollapse (9:39:51 PM): sorry
lFullCollapse (9:39:58 PM): and thats awesome
VoicE x unhEard (9:40:06 PM): whoa hour later
VoicE x unhEard (9:40:07 PM): haha
lFullCollapse (9:40:15 PM): if your staying in winslow then its probably a good thing your moving right?
VoicE x unhEard (9:40:23 PM): i guess.. and haha
VoicE x unhEard (9:40:24 PM): he said
VoicE x unhEard (9:40:31 PM): my step mom doesnt know..and hes not telling her
VoicE x unhEard (9:40:32 PM): hahahaha
lFullCollapse (9:40:39 PM): that you have to move out?
VoicE x unhEard (9:40:44 PM): i was like.. "what are we gonna do..just disapear one day and leave her here?"
VoicE x unhEard (9:40:46 PM): yeah haha
lFullCollapse (9:41:02 PM): hahaha
VoicE x unhEard (9:41:07 PM): all he did was the "cha" thing
VoicE x unhEard (9:41:11 PM): like i dont give a fuck
lFullCollapse (9:41:14 PM): thats kidnof messed up shes going to have NOwhere to go
VoicE x unhEard (9:41:15 PM): basically
VoicE x unhEard (9:41:20 PM): yeah well..
VoicE x unhEard (9:41:21 PM): hahaha
lFullCollapse (9:41:24 PM): lol
VoicE x unhEard (9:41:25 PM): she has places
lFullCollapse (9:41:29 PM): well she has a job
VoicE x unhEard (9:41:34 PM): no she doesnt shes a freeloader
lFullCollapse (9:42:01 PM): i thought seh worked at walmart
VoicE x unhEard (9:42:05 PM): she got fired haha
VoicE x unhEard (9:42:09 PM): a while ago
lFullCollapse (9:42:12 PM): haha
lFullCollapse (9:42:23 PM): where did she go last weekend
VoicE x unhEard (9:42:34 PM): i think its bc she was getting into other ppls business and gettin into other ppls shit like problems
VoicE x unhEard (9:42:38 PM): pennsylvania
VoicE x unhEard (9:42:39 PM): to her sisters
lFullCollapse (9:42:55 PM): oo
lFullCollapse (9:42:58 PM): why doesnt she live there
VoicE x unhEard (9:43:03 PM): i think shell go back there this weekend cus its halloween..but i dont know because my dad might wanna take angie to my ggs
VoicE x unhEard (9:43:10 PM): i have no idea...
VoicE x unhEard (9:43:24 PM): lol shes such a freak hahaha
VoicE x unhEard (9:43:29 PM): i cant even look at her anymore
lFullCollapse (9:43:47 PM): lol
VoicE x unhEard (9:44:29 PM): she called sunday morning and was askin where my dad was and i just said he was sleepin and then she started sayin like "ok hunny..make sure you do them dishes cus.." and i hung up haha
lFullCollapse (9:45:10 PM): thats not cool if she was trying to be nice you should try to be nice back
VoicE x unhEard (9:45:19 PM): no.. cus i figure
lFullCollapse (9:45:22 PM): t did it say?
VoicE x unhEard (9:45:25 PM): if shes living here for free
VoicE x unhEard (9:45:27 PM): she can do the dishes
lFullCollapse (9:45:37 PM): yeah well she wasnt there...
VoicE x unhEard (9:45:49 PM): well i already did the dishes the night before lol
VoicE x unhEard (9:45:56 PM): and what? (9:45:22 PM): t did it say?
lFullCollapse (9:47:11 PM): that was supposed to be to stacey
VoicE x unhEard (9:47:21 PM): oh ok
VoicE x unhEard (10:02:09 PM): oh my
VoicE x unhEard (10:02:11 PM): was that you
VoicE x unhEard (10:02:11 PM): haha
lFullCollapse (10:02:18 PM): what
VoicE x unhEard (10:02:24 PM): hahaa
lFullCollapse (10:02:38 PM): oh my?
VoicE x unhEard wants to directly connect (10:02:43 PM).
lFullCollapse is now directly connected (10:02:55 PM).
VoicE x unhEard (10:02:57 PM): theres more but i Xed out
VoicE x unhEard (10:02:57 PM): LaBaule814 (9:58:23 PM): oh man i am craving m&m's right now...
VoicE x unhEard (9:58:36 PM): i have peanut butter m&ms.......
VoicE x unhEard (9:58:38 PM): freakk
LaBaule814 (9:58:47 PM): really?
LaBaule814 (9:59:55 PM): Are oyu still there?
VoicE x unhEard (10:00:32 PM): yes ma'am
VoicE x unhEard (10:00:41 PM): and yea i have them
LaBaule814 (10:00:52 PM): alrighty then
VoicE x unhEard (10:01:12 PM): mmkay
LaBaule814 (10:01:25 PM): :-D
LaBaule814 (10:01:42 PM): You have been talking to a computer! One of your friends is reading the whole conversation and laughing it up right now! GET EVEN! Trick your friends at
Sent from
VoicE x unhEard (10:02:05 PM): yessss hahaha
lFullCollapse (10:04:16 PM): whats that
VoicE x unhEard (10:04:43 PM): i dont know haha
VoicE x unhEard (10:04:48 PM): i thought you bc of the m&ms thing.
VoicE x unhEard (10:07:14 PM): half day
VoicE x unhEard (10:07:15 PM): yesssss
lFullCollapse (10:07:34 PM): lol
lFullCollapse (10:07:38 PM): well im going tosleep
VoicE x unhEard (10:07:41 PM): figured
lFullCollapse (10:07:44 PM): goodnight young valencia
lFullCollapse direct connection is closed (10:07:46 PM).
VoicE x unhEard (10:07:48 PM): goodbye nigger
VoicE x unhEard (10:07:51 PM): craig**
VoicE x unhEard (10:07:52 PM): haha
lFullCollapse (10:07:58 PM): haha
VoicE x unhEard (10:08:00 PM): it was an accident
lFullCollapse signed off at 10:08:14 PM.

dont have anything to say...later

its all in your goodbyes

:: 2004 17 October :: 3.31 pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: matchbook romance -- your stories, my alibis

last few days..
well lets see. i dont really know when or what i updated last. so ill just go from whats happend this week and weekend.

uh i dont even remember. school was probably normal..and since i knew nick wasnt comin over i probably just came home and went to sleep. nothin out of the ordinary.

got home and my dad was standin in the doorway on the phone. and he tells me that the car broke down, well ran out of gas, and he had to walk home from pump branch road. sucks. i know that as soon as he left with his buddies to go get the car he told me to call nick to find out if he would have to pick him up tomorrow. so i did and all i found out was that he was comin over but didnt know how the ride situation would be yet. he was goin out on his bike so it was like a 2 second conversation. found out what i needed to know and said bye, basically. thenn i know i ate like madd food haha and did my homework. then fell asleep whenever sam got off the phone with me to go to the doctor's. probably like 4?..i dont know. got up arounddd 8:3O 9 and did w.e. got a shower. then came back and talked to a few people and then hit the sack.

thursday: oOo that half dayy
got home at like 1:15, like i said. damn i called that shit haha. mad lots of food and ate it alll and watched some tv. then around like 2:3O sam calls me. and im like, ok i thought you were at erics...? and she tells me what happend. and says that nicks not gonna come over hes gonna dick me over. cus thats what he told eric last nite. so i got mad but didnt jump to conclusions. i left him a message askin him if he was comin over or not. no response. me and her talked on the phone until.. i dont know whenever eric called her. i think it was on and off she kept callin me back when they were done on the phone. nick wasnt around all day......and i think the same nite, just later, i left him some message tellin him off or somethin haha. like when he came back and then went to bed and didnt say a word to me. what a fuckin bitch. ohwell it was w.e deff fucked up and gay as fuck of him. but w.e should of expected it...

school was fine. i actually had fun and was happy. people got points across to me and shit the nite before. easy day, not alot of work. got on the bus and got sad =\. it was soo gay i was like =D=)=\=(.. ugh i hate that. then i got home and i was eh. dealt with it. sam called me when she got home at like 9 or 1O or so..idk but we figured out saturdays plans. still not a word said to me from sorry or anything.... so fuck him.

got up at like....1O:3O. called sam after i had breakfast and shit. got a shower and got ready. and i was out of the house by 1. picked up sam and we headed over to jess's. got there and sue and lyss were already there. we were there for like, 5 minutes and craig chris and pete showed up? i dont know. but w.e all together it wasss.. me sam jess sue lyss mike o chris pete dave ryan craig pogo this kid jeremy and eventually tweet. but he comes after all the drinkins done..bastard. haha just kiddin. he had to work cus hes a responsible mother effer. who was drunk.. jess she puked. ryan and dave were drunk/high..pogo was high jeremy was..high. sam was drunkish not really. CRAIG WAS DRUNK HAHAHA. lyss was drunk kind of and then tired. sue was drunk but she gets well fast haha freak! mike o was fine. the kid chris left so idk about him. pete passed out and hurled. i was drunk i guess. haha yea i was buutt i wasnt that bad when i was helpin craig so stfu haha. tellin me IM drunk you bastard dont lie haha. i dont know i had fun. aww poor pete got tea bagged hahaha. aww thats so not cool he was extra out of it. lol. its pretty sad we were wasted at like 3 in the afternoon lol fuckin geeks. i dont know by like 4 or so everyone was done. sam mike o and sue were gone because they went to drop off sue. jess was fine because she puked up her life and was tryin to be mom to everyone. tweet was fuckin fine he had like half a smirnoff. he was just sittin around with his tongue in lyssas throat and then helpin clean up lol. aww dude hahahaha me sam craig and lyss were sittin at the table. and craig was like so out of it. and he wanted my black and then he was like no, im done for now, i have that hidden one. i dont drink and this is not for me. pointing to a miller lite can. and when he brought back his hand he knocked it over and spilled it everywhere. hahaha. it was soo funny i almost pissed my self. and the poor kid kept fallin all over the place. and then he disapeared hahahaha and i went down in the basement and he was sittin in the rockin chair by himself hahahaha fuckin idiot. i dont know man where the fuck sam was for all of this. her and mike werent gone that long. i dont know i stuck around craig because hes mad funny to watch haha. and then dave hahaha he was like layin on the couch and we were sittin there and me craig and one other person were talkin and daves head was down and all of the sudden he brought his head up and just made some weird ass noise like..nuuhh or somethin hahaha. what a tard. well we had to be out of there by 7:3O so we hauled and cleaned up and shit. and we all piled into the expedition. dave drivin mike o shot gun. ryan sam me craig and then in the back back wass.. uh.. jess pete tweet and lyss. everyone was so paranoid about dave drivin hahaha sorry guys but stfu!! lol. it was fine, you know it. we went to pete's and got ryans car. pete puked and then got back in the truck instead of goin home haha. it was the same ppl in the truck except ryan and jess were in ryans car. we went to my house. and dave and mike o left to go play jailbreak. everyone else piled in my room for like 4 hours. hm my bed broke!!! pete and craig were on it and then sam got on and it collapsed. =( man i love that bed whyyyy!! lol watch bitches ill fix it. handy dandy home depot dad and i got it covered haha. idk for like the longest time it was me sam craig and pete because ryan jess lyss and tweet went to go get food at shoprite and then pizza. they came back with like 3 pizzas and chips and soda. mmm. we watched super troopers for the most part and then by like..midnite we all went downstairs and left lyss and tweet up here. well they were asleep so no need to wake them lol. man shit my bed is broken. its so gay i hate it noww. ughh. all this time its been fine..and then "wtf did you do??!" its broke haha. fuck. we got downstairs and started watchin snl. hahahahaha my step mom came out and she was just bein gay liek usual. and she went to put the phone back and was like "you got my quilt too..tuhhh..thats ok i called the case worker" ugly hoe bag cunt ughhhh. kill her!. damn but anyway lol... craig was like 'omg i have the quilt dont i" and started gettin the blanket he had off of him and throwin it on me hahahahaha just the way he said it. hahah what a shit. hes so funny. and him and pete were like 'im so scared right now..........shes gonna eat me. she hates me she hates me" haha. i love it hahahahaahha mann lol. shes so gayy!!!!! lol my friends are way cool =). everyone was asleep by like 2 and if they werent they had to be cus i shut everything off. i couldnt sleep tho bc i didnt have my pillows, and because my blanket.. "the quilt" was so damn small. i was freeeezinnnnn. i dont remember it bein so effin cold hereee what the hell. i dont know all i remember is hearin my alarm go off at 8:O2 upstairs. and then shortly after tweet and lyss came down. and everyone woke up. then like less then a half hour later his dad showed up and sam craig and tweet all left. then we put in a movie and sort of went back to sleep. by like..11 we were up eatin food and then put another movie in. kind of cleaned up but when ryan came it all got torn up again lol. and then everyone was gone by like...12:3O. left me all alone lol. i hate when everyone leaves at once. its so gay. but ahwell it was madd fun haha. some bitch kept complainin tho. ill kill you craig. aww i had a baddd dream about you haha. it made me cry. your like mom called me and told me you were in the hospital and that tweet and ant told her she should call me and let me know or somethin? and you were ridin your quad and you got thrown off or some shit and like you hurt your back bad and i went to see you. and you were so fucked up man lol. like almost a full body cast type situation. and your face was all bruised up and stuff. poor guy. my dreams come true you better watch out seriously. especially the ones that are mad realistic and possible to happen. i mean idk about your mom callin me and all that, but shit lol. and i wasnt cryin like hysterically i had them when you yawn tears when i woke up.

christ this is long. but now i gotta do the dishes that my friends made haha. yeahhh and aim is bein gay so i cant get on. fuckers.

byee mwahss


and craig i saved your life. like 5 times yesterday.

3 never thought wed make it out alive | its all in your goodbyes

:: 2004 12 October :: 10.42 pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: gay ass song is stuck in my head

the "real" update
ok so lets see. the weekend..

i dont think i did anything. i dont remember. im pretty sure nothing special happend so no need to explain.

um i woke up. got a shower. then mike came over at like 3. we chilled played catch haha. yessss im beasttt. we uh.. watched a fob thing. talked to muH dadDy haha. idk. thennn danielle showed up around 7 or so. we were all outside sittin on the porch watchin angie get down. and boyyyy can she get down haha. shes a crazy ass little stripper to be 6 year old haha. oh man if only we had pictures hahahahaha. it was hilarious. lol. then we were up in my room probably listenin to nsync haha and uh mike pagano and aj showed up. we were upstairs for a little bit and then it got really hot so we went outfront. i did some cheerleader stunts haha. yesssss. danielle we gotta do that at least once everytime we hang out hahha. im so proud. then mike and wilcox had some moves up their sleeves hahahaha. omg dude mike pagano makes the funniest girl noise when he like.. does flips and stuff. hahahahahahahaaha its so funnnnnyyyy. what a geek hahahaha. then idk. everyone went home by at least 11. and thats the nite i hurt my leg...

danielle asked me if i wanted to hang out with her and jackie and i asked where and she said my house. so i said ok. and thats what turned into the 'party' haha. mike showed up first, again. then danielle and kelly. and then jackie. and then thats about who was there for a good while. we were outfront and shit. runnin around playin catch at motion. football baseball. and then we went back on my porch and were in and out and shit. ppl kept callin. so i was in and out on the phone. and mike o gets online and tells of us that hell be there around 8:15. so a little after that 3 cars pull into motions parkin lot. they just sit there for like mad long. and then they get out and talk to the other ppl in the other cars. hahaha. and then 3 of them walked up includin mike o and one of the cars ended up leavin. then dave comes up and asks where the partys at. and were like..thers no party. ahaha. oh the other car was back by then. and he just walked away and they left. hahahha. soo gay. danielle was pissed off man. then we were just calmin down and sittin outfront singin old tbs. and tweet and bobdole showed up. and we sang to them. and then the cd was over and iwas goin to change it [ im sorry tweet i gotta put this in here its funny lol ]. and it was all silent and tweet you have any tbs?. lol haha poor guy. so were like that is tbs and he was like...ohhh then i mean the new one. so we put that in for him lol. then we were just outfront runnin around. played football. i think me and tweets team beasted haha. i dont remember. but bobdole quit. then we were just playin regular catch in the motion parkin lot bc it was lit up and we couldnt really see in my front yard. and we just ended up hangin out there for a whiiile. had ostriche or emu races w.e tweet called them. haha. and then i flashed a car. and me and bobdole mooned some ppl. i quit the flashin when i almost pulled myshirt up and bobdole was right there mouth wide open like =O. and then i put this turkey cookin aluminum thing in the street that was on the side of the road. and eventually a car ran it over. and yea they slowed down and did a U-ie. so we all hauled ass back in the house. they pulled up and my step mom went out there to talk to them. i locked the door. and then we were lookin outside the bathroom window ( the little one downstairs ) and i saw ppl gettin out of the car so we all crammed in the downstairs bathroom and locked taht door too. haha. and then my step mom got all mad bc i locked her out. then we brought the shit from outside in, after them ppl left haha. and we just chilled in my rUMm. started watchin peter pan and then yea. called random ppl. i think we called.. my stepmoms grandmom. then nick and then craig and i ended up talkin to him. and then like one more person after that but i forget. we werent watchin peter pan after so long so we just ended up goin downstairs after my dad left for work. i forget what we did then. we probably made food and watched another movie. after that it just got real late like 1 in the mornin late and tweet was like 'ok lets wrestle' lol so we did that and my step mom kept comin down gettin all mad bc we were 'keepin her up' even tho her buddies were over.... but ok. so everytime she would come down tweet and mike got all scared and hid hahaha. like she wouldnt know WE were makin all the noise. haha. we stayed up for like id say at least 2 hours fuckin around like that. man tweet dont go down. i dont think anyone got him down. not even when we all went after him. hahahaha hes beast!!! lol. and kelly man she went fuckin fighter on mike hahahaah it was so funny watchin that little kid go after mike punchin him and shit haha like "ASSHOLE ASSHOLE!!!!" hahahahahahahahah oh man kelly hahaha. shes a tard. idk we didnt really sleep. we talked and shit and yea. it was like a party ahha. then w.e the sun was about to come up tweet made us all go out and lay on the front lawn to watch the sun rise. but some big rig pulled up and got in the way. and then danielle went and asked him the move the truck bc we couldnt see and he gets out and comes in my house. my step moms drug dealer i guess. fuckin cunt. so tweet and danielle run over and pull the horn line. and then im like..oo i wanna tryyy. so i ran over with tweet and did it for like 2 seconds ahhaha. and then we hid behind it and then was just like eff it and went back across teh street bc it was mad cold. then he came out and just pulled away all paranoid. faggot. well we realized we MISSED the sun rise and just went in. made food eventually and just tried to sleep. my dad came home and me and mike talked to him. then idk kelly got picked up, but all later then we thought. idk im tired i really dont feel like gettin into detail anymore haha. she got picked up. and then all this shit happend and my sister wants to fightme hahahahaha ohwell fuck her idc. if i felt like typin what was said youd be laughin cus shes just so fuckin gay. and my 4O year old step mom is TAHT MUCH OF AN IMMATURE PUSSY that she gets her daughter to handle her 'business' haha. what a moron. idk tweet and bobdole left. and then my dad took me danielle jackie and mike to mcdonalds. after he let me drive danielle to the other side of the driveway so we could put the seats in the van=). yesss. we got back and danielle and jackie got picked up. and then it was once again me and mike lol. then he got picked up and shortly after that my father took me to sams. and then in a nutshell iiiiii..did my laundry and had dinner there. me and sam chilled with hillary and her b.f billy gogle lol. and saw bret and john brown. walked around basically. i was up all nite and shit so i was up over 24 hours yesterday. sheesh. and now i have a baddd headache. and im just tired. im gonna try that gettin a shower in the morning thing bc i dont feel like gettin one right now.

ahhhhhh it hurts =(

im done


2 never thought wed make it out alive | its all in your goodbyes

:: 2004 11 October :: 2.19 pm
:: Mood: ughhhhhh
:: Music: the early november -- w.e not my cd..

idk who cares.. pretty much bullshit..
well uh ill update later about my 'weekend' or w.e.. and just idk all this gay shit happend today alreadyyy haha so gayyyy.. ppl .. just.. yeah ill update later

just remindin myself

im out .. bye

its all in your goodbyes

:: 2004 7 October :: 5.53 pm
:: Mood: weird
:: Music: hoobastanK --

who cares if you dont like it
ugh im so sore. i think its from football this week. yesterday was crazy. my lungs hurt because it was chilly out and we sucked so we kept havin to recieve the ball. ohwell i scored a touchdown. hm what else. stayed home today. haha i was just swattin at a bug that was flyin near my face and i smacked my self hardcore. knocked my glasses off and everything. haha, oops. so um tweet is tryin to make my party happen still. so if you want to help just ask me or him what you can do. im tryin to get money i might get a job. and i think my dad said yes to gettin drinks. people just gotta put in. i really want it to happen so i hope this plan works out. yea well, i dont know what else to say. so im done


13 never thought wed make it out alive | its all in your goodbyes

:: 2004 3 October :: 10.31 pm
:: Mood: melancholy
:: Music: shinedown --

this day could be the worst one yet.
cus im sick and tired of youll be fine..well how do you know? can you read minds?

im fucked up.

and i hope sams not mad at me because i couldnt go to her house today. i feel bad that i didnt call her and tell her myself, but it was mad late when i vomited and passed the message that i was sick on. i dont know. im definitely bipolar. earlier i got mad at craig for no reason really. i mean there was a little reason but, nothing enough to do what i did. haha. im so gay. im sorry craig. and i was in a good mood. then a bad one. then i cried. then i was fine. then i didnt feel good. well not feeling good doesnt make me bipolar, it doesnt count, i cant control that shit. lol. and i was fine like .. i dont know a little bit ago and now im sad again. im a freak. i feel like.. im stuck at this place. like state of mind, where i could laugh and smile and then just hear one thing and break down and cry. and i dont think im bipolar because of it because the more i think about it. im just getting depressed again. so its like a .. depressed state of mind. i mean i cant completely say im depressed because im not sad all the time. but my moods change like.. with a single sentence. everything alters. or just sitting here i can get happy or sad. idk i guess its bipolar. but its not the worst. im not split personality and all that shit like my step mom is and ive seen more worse 'cases' [ so to speak ] of that shit. cus she changes her attitude with like just thinkin to herself. yea, i do that, but shes just a complete freak with it. lol. oh man we have school tomorrow. i feel like staying home and sleeping. oh that would be fun. i might have to because i dont have any clean clothes. because some asshole ignored me and just slept. way to suck. i dont know. my neck and back hurt so bad. i fucked somethin up. and im gonna go.



3 never thought wed make it out alive | its all in your goodbyes

:: 2004 2 October :: 5.57 pm
:: Mood: hopeful
:: Music: stereos down..

but i believe in you so much
sent an email to my mom today. well no, i answered her email to me. i wonder if shell have the same opinion as everyone else does. on the other hand, if shes quite the opposite thinker, her opinion will be bias because im her kid. so yea, i realize her opinion wont mean much unless she has some strong words of wisdom. heyy, i finally know her birthday and her age. aha, how sad =(. well, her birthday is october 3rd, and shell be 43. let me quote her, "almost an old fart." oh what a wonderful thing to say.

yea, so im in the midst of cleaning my room. i did the corner where my stereo is, hense i have no music. and my dresser. and yea, everything is on my bed. tons of cd cases, all of that bullshit that clutters my dresser. and im missing some cds, which fuckin sucks. i dont even know when i lost them, but either way, theyre gone as of right now.

uhm what else? oo, i told my dad how tweet was jokin around about payin for the party and he didnt seem to thrilled. i think hes intentionally not bein cooperative and enthusiatic about this thing, at all. fuck it, im about to get a job and just save up for that. but i dont know. ive already been down that job searching road and i came up empty handed.

damn, i really need to go to walmart. shit and im supposed to go to sams tomorrow too. theres too much to do. ahh. but im sick as hell also. so i got my room to finish, laundry to do, things to go buy, homework?.. nah i dont. oh man i realized i left my jacket and stuff in my locker. way to suck at life. i mean theyre not goin anywhere but you know its gonna be cold come monday morning. its already freezing now. whoa it totally smells like nick in my hallway. haha. i hate you god, you take your job to far. lol. yea, im talkin out of my ass..ohwell. i gotta get this room done. ive been doin it since like 1:3O and its like 6 right now. you know i get side tracked easily, but still. ive mostly been doin this the whole time. i think..

i wont be gay and do that.. but 15 just dont know fool

mm lets make out =P

laterr niggers

its all in your goodbyes | Random Journal