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2005 6 September :: 11.19am
:: Mood: restless
:: Music: Pink Floyd - Animals
i leave in peace
my journal will no longer be updated because of my busy ass schedule at IU. I might still write weird things every once in a while, but i can no longer accuratly depict what is going on in my life into words that would properly express my feelings. Regardless, I'm going to keep this as a reminder of who I was between my freshman to senior year in high school and how I have changed into the person I am today. Keeping this journal and writing in it for four years was probably one of the best decisions i have ever made. take care friends, cya round the bend
put it in my butt
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2005 15 August :: 11.50am
im laying in bed all day until i find something worth getting out of bed for.
put it in my butt
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2005 14 August :: 2.55am
:: Music: my fan
wow what a sad night. i didnt want to have to say goodbye to you brianna, i didnt know what to say then so ill say it now...i love you, i know youll have a great future at purdue, dont drink too much, oh hell drink too much, but enjoy yourself. ill call you.
tonight was emotional? yes. and really all we could all do is talk about memories of eachother. i saw many of my friends cry tonight for the first time. damn.....goodnight good people
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2005 13 August :: 2.50pm
i grabbed chris martins arm. ill never wash this hand again! oh yeah coldplay show was sweet. i drank lots of vodka before sleep and ive been hungover all day so if ur wondern where im hat, im in my bed laying under my covers all day
goodbye my friends whom left for college today.
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2005 12 August :: 4.30pm
:: Music: radiohead
I'll drown my beliefs
To have you be in peace
I'll dress like your niece
And wash your swollen feet
Just don't leave
Don't leave
I'm not living
I'm just killing time
Your tiny hands
Your crazy kitten smile
Just, don't leave
Don't leave
And true love waits
In haunted attics
And true love lives
On lollipops and crisps
Just lonely, lonely..
Don't leave..
im going to see coldplay tonight, and im in the saddest of moods
1 that's the ticket |
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2005 4 August :: 2.48pm
ok ok ok im sorry alright i just couldnt take yer bullshit
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2005 3 August :: 9.56am
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: WHY DO YOU GET ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD.
dont worry? be happy|
EVERYTHING is OK. And I knew that it would be. because everything usually is okay and generally people worry too much. stay calm. relax. 2 more days.
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2005 31 July :: 2.28am
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: pinkfloyd-money (in the backround)
cocksucking pigfaced donut holes
friday night i watched 3 of my best friends get arrested. i should have been the fourth. i lucked out. its fucking tragic though because this whole summer was just wasted for them. i cant even start to tell the story. be careful out there.
alcohol is a pistol pointed directly between your eyes. dont blink.
1 that's the ticket |
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2005 25 July :: 12.24am
i dont just sit back, i prefer to DEFEND myself. and when someone brings up irrelevent shit and calls me a queer3somecheatingpussylickingmotherfucker, im going to make you cry and not feel bad about it. have a nice day =)
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2005 8 July :: 4.23pm
almost every day i have a new person tell me that i look like "so and so" or "that one guy" or "my friend..." almost every damn day! why!?! seriously though its really weird.
1 that's the ticket |
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2005 4 July :: 11.52am
:: Mood: drained
i had an amazing weekend. goodbye for 5 weeks. take care
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2005 28 June :: 1.20am
:: Music: drug ballad
nanan nanan na
That's the sound of a bottle when it's hollow when you swallow it all
wallow and drown in your sorrow
And tomorrow your probably gonna wanna do it again
What's a little spinal fluid between you and a friend, screw it
and whats a little bit of alcohol poisoning? and whats a little fight,
tomorrow you'll be boys again
It's your life, live it however you wanna
Marajuana is everywhere, where was you brought up?
It don't matter as long as you get where you're goin
Cuz none of this shit's gonna mean shit where we're goin
They tell you to stop but you just sit there ignorin, even though you wake up
feelin like shit every mornin.
But your young, you got a lot of drugs to do, girls to screw, parties to
crash, sucks to be you
If I could take it all back now I wouldn't, I woulda did more shit that
people said that I shouldnt
But I'm all grown up now, and upgraded and graduated to better drugs and
updated
But I still gotta a lot of growin up to do, I still gotta whole lot of
throwin up to spew
But when it's all said and done before I know it I'll be forty wit a 40 on
the porch tellin stories
with a bottle of Jack, two grandkids on my lap, babysitting for Hailey, while
Hailey's out gettin shmashed.
they got a hold of me
i must get sleep because in the morning.....i shall compare the interactions between humans and insects. i cant wait.
1 that's the ticket |
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2005 19 June :: 11.09am
i gots my own dorm room bitches
3 that's the tickets |
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2005 16 June :: 3.53am
:: Mood: tweaked
:: Music: mah fan movin some air
its 4am im up
whatup friends. phish, floyd, good movies, herb, homiez
thats about all ive been doin lately, although im still trying to figure out how to move all this shit from my room into a dorm room by sat. who knows. who knows why im awake at 4 am. oh i do. i ate some dum dum stuff earlier and ive been up all night. it sucks cuz i had some people over tonight, and now imstill the only party hardy awake. my homes vadim is passed out on de couch. so whos up for chillin? cuz im wide awake.
inspire me bitches
cuz whats life without inspiration
2 that's the tickets |
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2005 14 June :: 1.25pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: digital ash in a digital urn
yeaaaaaa
wellllp i leave for college in less than one week, over this time im there i know there willl be people ill never see again, so to anyone and alll that reads this its been a real real good time. i wish i could go boating again this summer, jacob if iget outof school in time ill drive to kansas. after all that school a vaca would be niceee
1 that's the ticket |
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2005 27 May :: 12.10am
:: Mood: melancholy
im not like other people. ive figured that out. getting the fuck out of c-town in a matter of weeks. gloryyears here we come? lets hope
2 that's the tickets |
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2005 9 May :: 11.10pm
:: Music: bright eyes - lover i dont have to love
i love it
FIRSTS:
1. First best friend: sean vetor
2. First person you loved: megan courtney
3. First real kiss: anna shumway! haha (liz lux does not count as "real")
4. First screen name: johnnyz109
5. First pet: fishes
6. First car: 91 celica gt
LASTS:
1. Last cigarette: 1 hr. ago
2. Last kiss: friday night
3. Last good cry: dont know
4. Last beverage drank: coors light
5. Last food consumed: steak
6. Last crush: courtney
7. Last phone call: jimmy
RELATIONSHIPS:
1. Who is your best friend: i dont.
2. Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend: no
FASHION STUFF:
1. Where are your favorite places to shop: dont know. teees.
2. Favorite item of clothing: jeans
SPECIFICS
1. Do you do drugs: yes
2. What kind of shampoo do you use: i dont know, this stuff in a green bottle
3. What are you most scared of: myself
4. What would you change about yourself: im not sure
FAVORITES:
1. Colors: green
2. Foods: pizza, tacos, steak
3. Subject in school: whats school?
4. Animals: cat
5. Sports: basketball
6. Movie: i love donnie darko
HAVE YOU EVER:
1. Given anyone a bath: no
2. Smoked: yes
3. Made yourself throw-up: yes
4. Skinny dipped: yes
5. Been in love: yes
CURRENT:
1. Clothes: khaki shorts long-sleeve shirt
2. Music: muse - time is running out
3. Make-up: no. i dont do that.
4. IMs: brianna, jake
LAST PERSON:
2. Hugged: courtney
3. IMed: jake
4. Last person who slept at your house: dont know
5. Last persons house you slept at: matt albertos
RANDOM:
1. In the morning I am: tired
2. Love is: what you make it
3. I dream about: everything you can imagine
PAST/FUTURE:
1. 7 years ago: i rode my bike and played a gameboy
2. 4 years ago: was a really weird time.
3. 2 years ago: i was doing really fucked up things.
4. 1 hour ago: chillin with some homes drinkin some coors
5. tomorrow: tuesday
6. college:iu
7. 5 years from now: where the hell could i be.
1 that's the ticket |
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2005 8 May :: 12.34pm
last night was prom. i was up till 8am drinking, and im stilll drunkk at 12:34. 1234. a good night
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2005 25 April :: 9.17pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: moe - kids
oh baby
this is great. im so happy, i found a date to prom tonight. her name is courtney and shes one hot mama. shes so nice too. oooooooweee i cant wait now. off to get a tux. and some bucks. cause theres no way shes gonna be payin for her meal. im excited.
1 that's the ticket |
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2005 23 April :: 1.49pm
When you were here before, couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel, your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't care if it hurts, I wanna have control
I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice, when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here, ohhh ohhhh
She's running out the door...
She's running out, she's run, run, run, run....run....
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I WANT YOU TO NOTICE. whenimmmnooootarrrouuunnddd.
that im a creep.
i dont belong here
1 that's the ticket |
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