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jedibumblebee

:: 2022 11 November :: 10.56pm

If the stars were edible
And our hearts were never full
Could we live with just a taste?
Just a taste...

Hey, c'mon, tell me you love me


jedibumblebee

:: 2022 26 October :: 9.01pm
:: Music: AJR- Karma

You say that I'm better, why don't I feel better?/ The universe works in mysterious ways/ But I'm starting to think it ain't working for me
I've been so good, I've been helpful and friendly
I've been so good, why am I feeling empty?
I've been so good, I've been so good this year
I've been so good, but it's still getting harder
I've been so good, where the hell is the karma?
I've been so good, I've been so good this year
Why, are you asking me why?
My days and nights are filled with disappointment
Fine, oh no, everything's fine
I'm not sure why I booked today's appointment
I've been so good, I've been helpful and friendly
I've been so good, why am I feeling empty?
I've been so good, I've been so good this year
I've been so good, but it's still getting harder
I've been so good, where the hell is the karma?
I've been so good, I've been so good this year
What, am I normal or not?
Am I crazier than other patients?
Right, I've done everything right
So where's the karma doc, I've lost my patience
'Cause I've been so good, I've been working my ass off
I've been so good, still, I'm lonely and stressed out
I've been so good, I've been so good this year
And I've been so good, but it's still getting harder
I've been so good, where the hell is the karma?
I've been so good, I've been so good this year
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
I've been so good this year
I've been so good this year
Time, I know we're out of time
But what if sad thoughts come and I can't stop it
Bye, I don't wanna say bye
If only I could keep you in my pocket
To give me some diagnosis of why I'm so hollow
Please give me instructions, I promise I'll follow
I tripped on my ankle and fractured my elbow
But doesn't that mean that the tour's gonna sell though?
I try to explain the good faith that's been wasted
But after an hour it sounds like complaining
Wait don't go away, can I lie here forever?
You say that I'm better, why don't I feel better?
The universe works in mysterious ways
But I'm starting to think it ain't working for me
Doctor, should I be good?
Should I be good this year?

4 Coordinated Ladies | Hey, c'mon, tell me you love me


charlie

:: 2022 8 August :: 1.57pm
:: Music: Big Ups

I feel like I've lead a pretty happy life.
I need to treasure every minute
The fact that I'm here and I'm living within it
Sometimes I feel like the pace of my life's too fast
And I think about the time that's passed
I can't remember what happened yesterday
The day before, or anything, at any rate, anyway
I think what I'm trying to say is
I don't wanna live a life like this

What happens when it all goes black
And I'm lying there dying and I'm trying to think back
And I can't seem to conjure up anything
And the fear consumes me as they start to lose me
What happens when it all goes black
And I'm lying there dying and I'm trying to think back
And I can't seem to conjure up anything
No, because I haven't done anything

I feel like I've lead a pretty happy life
Then how come all I can remember is the strife
Fear comes and it takes its hold
And I'm afraid of getting old
And then suddenly I need a way out
Because I can't just let my memories fade in and fade out
I need something new
But I'm stuck with what to do

Hey, c'mon, tell me you love me


jedibumblebee

:: 2022 1 July :: 9.11pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: AJR- World's Smallest Violin

Now come in with the timpanis/ And take a shot of Hennessy/ I know I'm not there mentally/ But you could be the remedy
My grandpa fought in World War II
He was such a noble dude
I can't even finish school
Missed my mom and left too soon
His dad was a fireman
Who fought fires so violent
I think I bored my therapist
While playing him my violin
that's so insane
(Oh my God) that's such a shame
Next to them, my shit don't feel so grand
But I can't help myself from feeling bad
I kinda feel like two things can be said
The world's smallest violin
Really needs an audience
So if I do not find somebody soon
I'll blow up into smithereens
And spew my tiny symphony
Just let me play my violin for you, you, you, you
My grandpa fought in World War II
And he was such a noble dude
Man I feel like such a fool
I got so much left to prove
All my friends have vaping friends
They're so good at making friеnds
I'm so scared of caving in
Is that entertaining yеt?
that's so insane
(Oh my God) that's such a shame
Next to them, my shit don't feel so grand
But I can't help myself from feeling bad
I kinda feel like two things can be said
The world's smallest violin
Really needs an audience
So if I do not find somebody soon
I'll blow up into smithereens
And spew my tiny symphony
Just let me play my violin for you, you, you, you
Somewhere in the universe
Somewhere someone's got it worse
Wish that made it easier
Wish I didn't feel the hurt
The world's smallest violin
Really needs an audience
So if I do not find somebody soon
I'll blow up into smithereens
And spew my tiny symphony
All up and down a city street
While tryna put my mind at ease
Like finishing this melody
This feels like a necessity
So this could be the death of me
Or maybe just a better me
Now come in with the timpanis
And take a shot of Hennessy
I know I'm not there mentally
But you could be the remedy
So let me play my violin for you

Hey, c'mon, tell me you love me


jedibumblebee

:: 2021 17 November :: 10.57pm
:: Music: AJR and Daisy the Great- Record Player

Sometimes I think all I'm ever doin' is/ Tryin' to convince myself I'm alive.
I've got a record player that was made in 2014
Dyed my hair blue, it came out a seasick sort of green
I like vintage dresses when they fall just below my knees
I pretend I scraped them climbing in the trees
I've got a record player that was made in 2014
Dyed my hair blue, it came out a seasick sort of green
I like vintage dresses when they fall just below my knees
I pretend I scraped them climbing in the trees
I'm in an elevator, it's goin' down, down, down
I spent forever with my feet on the ground
But not now (not now)
'Cause I don't wanna do the wrong thing
Guess I gotta go and get famous for doin' nothing
Da-da-da-da-da
Crack a smile, crack a smile
Da-da-da-da-da
Stay a while, stay a while
Da-da-da-da-da
Am I holdin' for applause?
Is it gone? Is this on?
I've got a record player that was made in 2014
Dyed my hair blue, it came out a seasick sort of green
I like vintage dresses when they fall just below my knees
I pretend I scraped them climbing in the trees
I've got a record player that was made in 2014
Dyed my hair blue, it came out a seasick sort of green
I like vintage dresses when they fall just below my knees
I pretend I scraped them climbing in the trees
I'm in the simulator, I'm doin' a-okay
But every day is just rewind and replay
Not today
I'll head out to Monterey
Throw my phone into the waves
Can you see it in my eyes? Am I finally awake?
Crack a smile, crack a smile
Stay a while, stay a while
I think the best is yet to come
So drink up and good luck
I've got a record player that was made in 2014
Dyed my hair blue, it came out a seasick sort of green
I like vintage dresses when they fall just below my knees
I pretend I scraped them climbing in the trees
I've got a record player that was made in 2014
Dyed my hair blue, it came out a seasick sort of green
I like vintage dresses when they fall just below my knees
I pretend I scraped them climbing in the trees
Sometimes I think all I'm ever doin' is
Tryin' to convince myself I'm alive
Sometimes I think all I'm ever doin' is
Tryin' to convince myself I'm climbing in the trees

Hey, c'mon, tell me you love me


munkysaurus

:: 2021 30 October :: 12.32am

Crackle fingertips upon the edge of thought
Mr. J...J meaning journal. Did you know that "jour" is a french word for day and "nal" meaning daily, so jour-nal. Daily. You're name is really daily. Daily.

You've been a friend for so long. Good and bad. A post, 20 years ago, described in such detail--the advent of a little brother. Received by a brother who was still, himself, such a young man.

Girlfriends, you figured it out. They're people and you need to find a decent one.

We shared allegory of the fall of Icarus, aspiring and burned, falling into the torrent river. Washing downstream. They don't talk about the fate of Icarus after his fall. A fool, sure, but learned in something of value.

Well, Mr. J, you are the river now. You are the storm. The sun is your device. The world is yours.

There is nothing stopping you, the world is yours.

Rest easy, past self.

Rest.

I have you now, with tender, strong arms.

Yours, Mr. J., a gentle soul somewhere in Andy's server. You listen and carry our message.

2 Coordinated Ladies | Hey, c'mon, tell me you love me


jedibumblebee

:: 2021 15 October :: 3.46pm
:: Music: Olivia Rodrigo- brutal

They say these are the golden years/ But I wish I could disappear/ Ego crush is so severe/ God, it's brutal out here...
I want it to be, like, messy
I'm so insecure, I think
That I'll die before I drink
And I'm so caught up in the news
Of who likes me and who hates you
And I'm so tired that I might
Quit my job, start a new life
And they'd all be so disappointed
'Cause who am I, if not exploited?
And I'm so sick of 17
Where's my fucking teenage dream?
If someone tells me one more time
"Enjoy your youth, " I'm gonna cry
And I don't stick up for myself
I'm anxious and nothing can help
And I wish I'd done this before
And I wish people liked me more
All I did was try my best
This the kind of thanks I get?
Unrelentlessly upset (ah, ah, ah)
They say these are the golden years
But I wish I could disappear
Ego crush is so severe
God, it's brutal out here
(Yeah!)
I feel like no one wants me
And I hate the way I'm perceived
I only have two real friends
And lately, I'm a nervous wreck
'Cause I love people I don't like
And I hate every song I write
And I'm not cool and I'm not smart
And I can't even parallel park
All I did was try my best
This the kind of thanks I get?
Unrelentlessly upset (ah, ah, ah)
They say these are the golden years
But I wish I could disappear
Ego crush is so severe
God, it's brutal out here
(Yeah! Just having a really good time)
Got a broken ego, broken heart
(It's brutal out here, it's brutal out here)
And God, I don't even know where to start

Hey, c'mon, tell me you love me


jedibumblebee

:: 2021 10 September :: 9.45pm
:: Music: The Killers- All The Things That I've Done

I am so much older than I can take...
When there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
One more son
If you can hold on
If you can hold on, hold on
I want to stand up, I want to let go
You know, you know, no you don't, you don't
I want to shine on in the hearts of men
I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand

Another head aches, another heart breaks
I am so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection, no no no no

Help me out, yeah
You know you got to help me out, yeah
Oh don't you put me on the backburner
You know you got to help me out, yeah

And when there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
These changes ain't changing me
The cold hearted boy I used to be

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner
You know you got to help me out, yeah
You're gonna bring yourself down, yeah
You're gonna bring yourself down, yeah
You're gonna bring yourself down

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier

(Time, truth and hearts)
Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner
You know you got to help me out, yeah
You're gonna bring yourself down, yeah
You're gonna bring yourself down, yeah
Oh don't you put me on the backburner
You're gonna bring yourself down, yeah
You're gonna bring yourself down

Over and in, last call for sin
While everyone's lost, the battle is won
With all these things that I've done
All these things that I've done
(Time, truth and hearts)
If you can hold on
If you can hold on

Hey, c'mon, tell me you love me


jedibumblebee

:: 2021 26 August :: 11.00pm
:: Music: Lizzo ft Cardi B- Rumors

If you thought that I was ratchet with my ass hangin' out/ Just wait until the summer when they let me out the house, bitch...
They don't know I do it for the culture, goddamn
They say I should watch the shit I post, oh, goddamn
Say I'm turnin' big girls into hoes, oh, goddamn
They say I get groupies at my shows, oh, goddamn

All the rumors are true, yeah
What ya heard, that's true, yeah
I fuck him and you, yeah
If you believe I do that
Had to cut some hoes loose, yeah
NDA, no loose lips
Now them hoes tryna sue me
Bitch, I don't give two shits
All the rumors are true, yeah
I've been in the bamboo, yeah
Focused on this music
My ex, he blew it
Last year, I thought I would losе it
Readin' shit on the internеt
My smoothie cleanse and my diet
No, I ain't fuck Drake yet (Ha)

Spendin' all your time tryna break a woman down
Realer shit is goin' on, baby, take a look around
If you thought that I was ratchet with my ass hangin' out
Just wait until the summer when they let me out the house, bitch

(Talkin', talkin', talkin')
Give 'em somethin' to talk about
Sick of rumors (Ooh)
But haters do what they do (Uh)
Haters do what they do


All the rumors are true, yeah
Fake ass, fake boobs, yeah
Made a million at Sue's, yeah
Y'all be runnin' with fake news, yeah
Cardi ain't poppin', no, that's a machine (Huh?)
Nobody listen, they buyin' them streams (Hmm)
They even post it on blogs overseas
And lie in a language I can't even read
The fuck do this mean?
Look, I'm a Bronx bitch with some pop hits
Used to pop off when they pop shit (Woo)
But I'm calmed down and I'm locked in
And my records live in the top ten
Lizzo, teach me about big girl coochie (Okay)
Last time I got freaky, the FCC sued me
But I'ma keep doin' what I wanna do
'Cause all the rumors are
All the rumors are true, yeah

They hated on me since school, yeah
I never thought I was cool, yeah
Now me and Cardi, we cool, yeah
I love hoes on poles, yeah (Woo)
I am body goals, yeah
This shit from my soul, yeah
Black people made rock and roll, yeah

Why you spendin' all your time tryna break a woman down?
Realer shit is goin' on, baby, take a look around
If you thought that I was ratchet with my ass hangin' out
Just wait until the summer when they let me out the house, bitch

What they say? (Yeah)
What they say? (Yeah)
(Talkin', talkin', talkin')
Give 'em somethin' to talk about
Sick of rumors (Ooh)
But haters do what they do
Haters do what they do

All the rumors are true
Rumors, yeah (Yeah)
Sheesh

Hey, c'mon, tell me you love me


jedibumblebee

:: 2021 13 August :: 2.49pm
:: Music: Eric Hutchinson- Rock and Roll

And in a wink they're on the brink/ From drink to drink and at the bar with cash to blow/ Shot to shot it's getting hot/ Advance the plot to see how far it's gonna go...
He's been waiting around for the weekend
Figuring which club to sneak in
Fancy drinks and fifty dollar cover charge
Lately it's been a big hassle

Heineken and new castle
To make sure he's fitting in and living large
Disregard the lies that he will tell and what he's probably like
'Cause it's not hard his charm is gonna get him through the night

If he wants to rock he rocks
If he wants to roll he rolls
He can roll with the punches long as he feels like he's in control
If he wants to stay he stays
If he wants to go he goes
He doesn't care how he gets there long as he gets somewhere he knows

See her heavy makeup and cut t-shirt
Every girl out wants to be her
But they look the same already why adjust
Reading the magazine secrets
Forgetting the topical regrets
'Cause if she comes home all alone the night's a bust
It's a must the swivel in her hips and the look she gives
It's all her trust if only in the morning she knew where she lived

If she wants to rock she rocks
If she wants to roll she rolls
She can roll with the punches long as she feels like she's in control
If she wants to stay she stays
If she wants to go she goes
She doesn't care how she gets there long as she gets somewhere she knows

And in a wink they're on the brink
From drink to drink and at the bar with cash to blow
Shot to shot it's getting hot
Advance the plot to see how far it's gonna go

All depends so ditch the friends and grab a cab
Another chance at cheap romance
Doesn't count 'cause the room is spinning
Nothing to lose tonight they both are winning
And they fall in love as they fall in bed

If they want to rock they rocks
If they want to roll they rolls
They can roll with the punches long as they feels like they're in control
If they want to stay they stay
If they want to go they go
They don't care how they get there long as they get somewhere they know

Hey, c'mon, tell me you love me


spud

:: 2021 3 May :: 3.53pm
:: Mood: Seasonal


A staggering proportion of humans are allergic to the semen of plants.

A perennial reminder.

Hey, c'mon, tell me you love me


spud

:: 2021 29 April :: 11.03pm
:: Music: Tauk - Sir Nebula

Jet Lag

I used to have arguments with my uncle about language. I insisted that there were grammatical structures and rules in place in order to keep the meaning of language consistent. If we are to communicate and exchange ideas, it is critical to have the same words and sounds mean the same thing to both parties, in order to successfully transmit all information in the idea accurately. I thought that the rules helped to keep those meanings from shifting.

His primary contention was that language was alive, constantly evolving and changing in meaning. Different languages cherry pick words and phrases from other languages, sometimes at random, sometimes by conquest. New words are constantly being born, while old words slowly die off and are forgotten. I think he viewed slang as some kind of nursery for future linquistic possibilities.

I have to admit, he may be right.

After all, they condensed an extremely specific phenomenon - in which one traverses the surface of the planet at such an incredible rate, that their biological rhythms have difficulty adapting to the dramatic change in diurnal cycle - into just two syllables.

1 Coordinated Ladies | Hey, c'mon, tell me you love me


spud

:: 2021 1 April :: 10.30pm
:: Music: The Great Outdoors (1988)

life goes on, man.

finished a painting gig today. gonna try to hold off on any more work until after the trip to phoenix. aside from the laundry list of chores amassed for me by past chris. occasionally he surprises me, but usually he just kicks the cans down the road for future chris to deal with. hopefully some dedicated time will help future chris in his efforts.

-----


the spirit of god is alive wherever people are helping others, and growing in understanding. in places where people are wrongly harming others, the spirit is dead. even if that place is a church. or a school. or a home.

this may sound like a bummer, but it is actually very encouraging to witness the spirit thriving in many diverse and unlikely places. don't let the trimmings fool you. look at the people. see who's helping. join them. doesn't really matter where.

<3

4 Coordinated Ladies | Hey, c'mon, tell me you love me


spud

:: 2021 13 March :: 8.43pm
:: Music: Breaking Bad

There's a Martian yelling, "CUT! BOOM IN THE SHOT. EVERYBODY BACK TO ONES!" but you can't hear it above the wind noise.

Hey, c'mon, tell me you love me


jedibumblebee

:: 2021 1 March :: 10.17pm
:: Music: Blues Traveler- Hook

"I wanna bust all your balloons/ I wanna burn all your cities to the ground..."
It doesn't matter what I say
So long as I sing with inflection
That makes you feel I'll convey
Some inner truth or vast reflection
But I've said nothing so far
And I can keep it up for as long as it takes
And it don't matter who you are
If I'm doing my job then it's your resolve that breaks
Because the Hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The Hook brings you back
On that you can rely
There is something amiss
I am being insincere
In fact I don't mean any of this
Still my confession draws you near
To confuse the issue I refer
To familiar heroes from long ago
No matter how much Peter loved her
What made the Pan refuse to grow
Was that Hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The Hook brings you back
On that you can rely
Suck it in suck it in suck it in
If you're Rin Tin Tin or Anne Boleyn
Make a desperate move or else you'll win
And then begin
To see
What you're doing to me this MTV is not for free
It's so PC it's killing me
So desperately I sing to thee
Of love
Sure but also of rage and hate and pain and fear of self
And I can't keep these feelings on the shelf
I've tried well no in fact I lied
Could be financial suicide but I've got too much pride inside
To hide or slide
I'll do as I'll decide and let it ride until I've died
And only then shall I abide this tide
Of catchy little tunes
Of hip three minute diddys
I wanna bust all your balloons
I wanna burn all your cities to the ground
I've found
I will not mess around
Unless I play then hey
I will go on all day. Hear what I say
I have a prayer to pray
That's really all this was
And when I'm feeling stuck and need a buck
I don't rely on luck because
The Hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The Hoooooook
On that you can rely

Hey, c'mon, tell me you love me

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