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:: 2004 10 February :: 9.33 am

To suppose that earth is the only populated world in infinite space is as absurd as to believe that in an entire field sown with millet, only one grain will grow.

Metrodorus of Chios
4th century B.C.

something to ponder over....

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:: 2004 9 February :: 8.17 am

monday - im just sitting here in class bored out of my mind , nothing really to do bc i dont have class for another 15 min . i hate haveing to be hear at 730 but dont have class till 830. well friday i was at the hospital :( that shit really sucked ass. i ended up spraining my back , im on some good pain pills though so thats nice. but my back hurts so fucking bad when i dont take them i hope it gets better soon.
im still waiting on my paintball gun that thing should have made it to my apartment by now. but still hasnt , also its only 4 days now bc KT , and my parents get here im so excited to see them all :)

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:: 2004 4 February :: 7.38 am
:: Mood: discontent

wednesday , one more day and i get paid :) cant wait . my money supply is getting low. and its not going to be much better after thursday bc i have to get some shit for this valentines day. since im takeing Katie out i want to make that night a very nice night and a night she will remember for a long time. I have came to the conclusion that even my best friends dont totaly know me, just by what they say to me if there giveing advice or just talking its sort of disturbing to me that my friends tell me things that i know is un-true but yet they belive it to be.right now i feel like everything i do is setting me up for something bigger to come crashing down on me, and thats with everything i do idk why i get that feeling maybe its bc im loseing trust in ppl. sure theres ppl i want to trust but for some reason its just not happening. i just dont feel that i can trust anybody to the fullest right now.

well considering that im going to go and quite my job im going to talk to francis today and see what i can pull off and if things back fire i wont have to worry any bc i wont be working there lol .

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:: 2004 3 February :: 1.05 pm

well im going into my 4th semester next friday will be my last day of 3rd , and ill be Jr in college :) i just had to fill out some papers for my loans that was gay and there trying to dick me over which is really gay. so what do you do when lots of money is at stake like idk 22,000 dollers? your parents lol that got me out of ALOT of paper work , now they have to worry about it not well im one step closer to quiteing my job bc there a bunch of ass holes my buddy has got my ap for O charlys so i can fill that out and bring it in so hopefully i can work there then i can quit marsh bc its really gay now the manegers are being real bitchs and i swear there trying to make me quite but then when im so close to it they suck up and get on my nuts , what the fuck is up with all that ? well anyways im about ready to be done with the computer for the day bc im tired of looking at it today its been a long day. because i have been working on architecturl desktop all day makeing my floor plan 3D so i can orbit around it and throw in all my doors , windows , and shit like that. i guess tommrow were going to design the roof in 3D , not fun bc my roof has so many slopes bc my floor plan is weird but oh well. its still a nice looking house and big . but thats all for today kiddies . tune in for tommrows episode when billy goes into a nervous brakedown bc of school and life.

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:: 2004 30 January :: 8.32 am

sup ppl , well today is FRIDAY ! YEAH! my boss's at work were abnormaly nice last night , it was funny. but anyways ya its friday and its awsome bc we are done for the week, im happy also fran told me to give her a call tonight to see if she can come and hang out with me tonight or tommrow night. she colled my house the other day ( my house in indy) and we talked and she was all like are you partying this weekend? lol i was like "ya since you have known me how many weekends have you known me not to party on the weekend? shes was like um....never lol. bu t ya so she wants to come and party withme this weekend so i cant wait for that one bc shes cool to hang out with and i think shes cute. but anyways im out of here , ppl dont be afraid to leave a comment or two.

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:: 2004 29 January :: 1.19 pm

class sucks , my back is killing me from chilling in front of a computer every damn day hunched over doing my work. also im quiteing my job bc i decided that my boss's are real fucking ass holes who all need to burn except tom hes cool but all my other manegers are dicks! the complain about stupid shit to the head manegment of our department but do everything in there power to avoid atualy confront the person there complaing about. also they do the same shit there reporting and the ppl there have a real temperment problem. things are just really weird for me right now i have been haveing really fucked up dreams and they bother me. i have been regreting some things i had done the last time i was at home in michigan , and just thinking about the past. its not good bc its makeing me feel like shit but yet i cant help but play it all in my mind. the only good thing is in about 16 days my mom , dad , and my to really good friends Katie and Traivs are all comeing down i cant wait but it sort of has its down side too bc Katie and i have a date valentines day were going out to a VERY nice resteraunt. and i have all these other plans and reservations. then travis asks if he can come down too , i want him to but i fell bad that i have to leave him for a wile saterday night bc of prior plans. but i cant cancel . oh well ill see him most the day friday and most of all saterday just saterday night ill be busy. but im sure we will all get to gether later that night. and then theres sunday morning and maybe afternoon , idk what time there leaveing sunday. well im off ppl bc finaly school is just about over and im fucking out of here! PEACE

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:: 2004 26 January :: 9.33 am

Did you know that the human tounge is the stongest muscle of the human body ? think about it ladie's lol.

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:: 2004 22 January :: 12.47 pm

whats up everyone. not to much here just sitting in class bored as hell like every day. well im thinking about takeing on a second job as a waiter at ocharlys , my buddie works there and he said he can get me in so im excited about that bc he said ill bring home at least 50 bucks a night in tips he said that hes never broght anything less then that in fact most the ppl there havnt so thats great bc the one job i have is keeping me afloat , bearly. doesnt help that i just bought a $200 paintball gun but hey i wanted a new one bc i sold my old one a long time ago and this was a deal i couldnt pass up , it came with 3 tanks 2 hoppers , the gun, lube , tools , cleaner, a vest , 4 pods , and a bag to put over the barrel, its all name brand too, JT paintball, so it was a great deal. my buddies and i are throwing a team together , im voteing for our name to be "PAINted nightmares" what do you guys think of it ? any comments ? suggestions ? well thats all for now.

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:: 2004 16 January :: 7.54 am
:: Mood: happy

Finaly the weekend
whats up yall . its fucked up friday today so i plan on just that lol. im haveing a party at my buddies house tonight after work . im going out with this new chick from work tonight to this party my buddy and i are looking forward to partying with her , shes really pretty and shes funny and cool as hell. and from what i hear she seems interested :) its going to be fun tonight! PARTY WOOOOO! lol have a good weekend everybody .

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:: 2004 12 January :: 7.52 am

it was a slow weekend , i didnt party at all this weekend i jsut relaxed at some buddies houses and my place. played video games , cruised around and thats about it. i didnt really have the desire to party and plus my back is so beyond fucked up that it hurts to me that could have helped the fact that i didnt do shit too lol

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:: 2004 7 January :: 1.18 pm
:: Mood: depressed

tuesday - i get an email from who ? none other then her. isnt that just the gayist shit ever? come on! and oh the best part of it was " this is not a way to contact you" and the other " DONT REPLY" so basicly shes like " im just emailing you and dont want you to mail me back be i want your heart to hurt so bad that it withers up , turns black , and dies. just thought id email you so you feel like shit and i feel better bc i know your hurt. im evil blah blah blah." she emailed me so much BULLSHIT that i already know i didnt need to hear her fucking thoughts. is she needed time apart then fucking take it but damn dont give me fucking updates of whats going on in ur small ass fucking world.

the knife is in and she just wants to twist it more and more.

well thats what it feels like at least....i hope shes just ebing her normal blond self and not trying to make me feel like shit bc if so.......then that was a very bad mistake bc when shes has her " time of seperation" (HA FUCK THAT) i wont be around bc i wont have the time then.

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:: 2004 3 January :: 9.50 am

well its over with between nichole and i , we are no longer talking to each other or anything . she is comepltly out of my life, it erally sucks and is very depression so i have to move on. well i wont be getting that mx6 for a wile now bc i guess wile i was at home i over drew my atm and now i O like 400 bucks it really sucks . and also school is really sucking and work sucks too. the only thing i ahve to look forward to is maybe a friend from back home comeing down bc she was talking about it and the other thing is getting out of work at night and donig my own thing......

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:: 2003 30 December :: 9.30 am

this had to be the worst vist back home EVER , i mean it did have its good points but there were more things that ended up beening really abd then there were thigns that were good. like for one, nichole and i are not talking anymore i guess. a good thing is i have a co-signer for my car :) and there were some good parties wile i was home that was about it.....idk if im going to be comeing home anytime soon again i think i need to just chill here so i dnot have to think about certin things or ppl.

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:: 2003 19 December :: 8.11 am

im comeing home today. i cant wait its going to be great to be home for like a week and a few days i cant wait im so excited , after i get out of class im heading to the bank , gas station, my house , then on the open road to home , hopefully b4 the snow hits and darkness hits too bc i dont want to drive at night. well hopefully if anyone from home is reading this from back home . ill see you all later

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:: 2003 18 December :: 8.16 am

well i get to leave for michigan tommrow and be home for like 9 days. its great i cant wait, im ordering nicholes AXmas present today. getting my bros in the next few days when im home, idk what to get my parents , and for my friends....a nice big party lol :) the only thing that sucks a fat one is that i have to drive instead of getting flown home for AXmas like i was soppose to. so now i have to drive 5 hours in shitty weather so that will turn that 5 hour trip into a 6-7 hour trip the way ppl drive here in indy. i swear they dont know how to drive , there all like " OMG WHAT THE HELL IS THIS WHITE STUFF I CANT DRIVE IN THIS!"

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