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Wicked Thoughts

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:: 2003 11 December :: 9.35 am

well im 90 precent sure whats going to happen and its probly the hardest thing i have ever had to do. it sucks bc i dont want to do it but its for the best not matter what is said ....

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:: 2003 5 December :: 3.22 pm
:: Music: Metallica - Turn the page

HM.....
Well " here i am on the road again" trying to decide what path to take, im presented with alot of diffrent options for a few diffrent things and idk what to do . one is do i move out of my apartment and get a bigger one and nice and im now then able to get away from one of my bitch ass roomates but the downside is i have to forfit up 2 months rent for breaking the lease. or i could stay were im at , keep the money but listen to him bitch about partying all the time. i walked in this morning bc i didnt go home last night and he was watching tv i said "morning dude" he just rolled his eyes bc i didnt come home. ah well.
the other path is do i come home for xmas or no ? i want to but idk if i want to drive that far in shity weather and plus im getting tired of michigan , so much shit occors back there that just stress's the fuck out of me. im very VERY tempted to cut off ties to Michigan and totaly start a whole new life here. i am honestly considering it , i have already taken on step towards a new life here , actualy i have taken 2 now that i think about it and its for the best. but if i change my mind those 2 things are still great either way i just need to make up my mind if im going to forget michigan ........its always up and down , black and white , side to side. its never in the middle , stable , or even in the gray area life sucks when its like this shit.

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:: 2003 3 December :: 11.11 am

damn it i think the school has a block or something bc i cant get into woohu chat. andy u know any way around that ?

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:: 2003 2 December :: 11.01 am
:: Mood: cheerful

i got to go home back to michigan for a few days it was great i was there like 5 days 4 nights , it was so fun , i saw my friends and got to hang with them and i got to see nichole and basicly be with her every second i was there except when she went home to bed , id wake up just as she got off of work , she would call and come over and then we swould spend the rest of our day together it was a great few days. i wish i could have gotten around to seeing my other friends but with no car im very limited on where i could have gone , but the next time im up for xmas ill have the MX6 hopefully and ill be able to everywere. well im very happy that i got to go home but it sucks that im back here in Indy , not tottaly just a little bc i have to be away from my friends and nichole. but hey ill be back and one thing i noticed is i value the time nichole and i are together alot more now since i hardly see her , and same with my buddies. peace all

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:: 2003 26 November :: 8.15 am

well i thought i would be leaveing at 11 am but no i wont be leaveing to llpm now bc kyle has to work and i cant talk him into calling in

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:: 2003 25 November :: 8.15 am

well i dont know if im going to be makeing it home anymore. my buddy kyle maybe takeing the night off of work and leaveing right after school , i cant do that bc i need the hours so i can offord my car. and the new house im moveing into ,
but it might be all good bc someone back home has really taken a dagger to me right threw the chest and pulled up.

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:: 2003 18 November :: 1.54 pm

well i havnt talked to nichole in over a week now i think shes really mad at me. idk why. anyways on a higher note im giong out to get a new car today. 2003

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:: 2003 13 November :: 9.23 pm
:: Music: kottonmouth kings - wicked klowns

sup all whats up ? not shit here my car is broke down again so this sucks ass. oh well i might be getting a 25 cent raise and be gettting more hours so cool shit right there whoop whoop , i bought a new icp hat its cool as fuck , its black and red and has a big ass hatchet man on it . well peace all MCL

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:: 2003 10 November :: 12.27 pm

sup yall. well my buddy here and i pulled off a nice party with just icp fans it was great. my friend justin and i met 2 chicks that were cool as fuck , we drove 2 hours to go stay with them the next night and party with just us 4 at her house , it was fun and well worth the 2 hour drive. its cool to meet some hardcore juggalettes finaly.

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:: 2003 6 November :: 12.47 pm

finaly i got my cell phone back , it was off for like the past week but now its back on now i can call my friends again , and im getting the part i need for my car right after class so its going to be great , and im getting a hair cut that will feel so much better to , i just have to wait another hour till class ends and im out like a fat kid in dogeball. peace yall.

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:: 2003 4 November :: 8.34 pm
:: Music: Tech N9ne - imma tell

whats yup all ? not shit here just bored as hell not shit to do bc my cars is dead for right now bc i need to put a new alternatior in my car and thats going to cost 80 bucks , thts 80 i cant afford right now, on a better note my buddy chris from class and i were going to throw a little party for any juggalos and juggalettes that wanted to come out and party at his place , we thought it wasnt going to turn out so good but holy shit the number of my fucking emails im getting from the nap town ninjas is fucking insane its going to be a fucking huge ass party and its going to be great , i get to be around ppl that will understand me better then most anyone down here and plus its family :) i cant wait its going to be phat as hell . im so hyped for this friday . its like a roller coaster here it hits its real huge points then it slows down and just slowly sprials down , right now im soaring sky high , its great.

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:: 2003 28 October :: 9.02 pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: trapt - still fram

my roommate tyler can go fuck himself! hes a fucking dumbass he dises on me for listening to icp and going to their concert and then today he ecuses me of scaming him on our cabel bill and washer and dryer bill , wtf why would i scam someone that sees the bills bc they sit on the fucking tabel for weeks at a time and also he fucking lives with me i have to live with him for a year why would i do that shit, all he does is talk shit if i wouldnt get kicked out of school for beating his ass i would take his shit right down. im really getting tired of getting mocked bc of what i like to listen to. but about the concert it fucking rocked kotton mouth kings were the fucking shit they came out and said light up the refer juggalos and fuck dude there was a big ass cloud over the mosh pit. the set icp had was the fucking shit too they had ompa lompas on stage and they looked like they just smoked some crack or some shit lol indy juggalos are crazy compared to the ones back in GR. it was fucked up how hardcore they were i mean dont get me wrong im not saying GR juggalos and lettes are not hardcore but this shit was idk i cant even explaine. but it was great i had so much fun KMK was the shit bone sucked a fat ass cock , Tech n9ne was the shit too they rocked that shit like they were an earthquake. i almost got my ass kicked out by a security gaurd bc i was smokeing and he said if i didnt give him my lighter i had to leave but the thing was i didnt have one so some juggalette gave me one to give to him to leave my ass alone. that fucking gaurd was a prick . and all the cops there were ass holes. threating to take ppl to jail and shit fuck the police!

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:: 2003 21 October :: 11.31 am
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: perfect circle - weak and powerless

300 miles
i may be 300 miles a wya from home , 5 hours away but u know shit still is effecting me from home. nichole is in lots fo trouble i guess and its all my fault. why cant life ever just forget that i am here so maybe i can have a peacefull period instead of getting shit on. it sucks if things go good for me right after that its like it hits a sinkhole and just disapears . im so stressed that i got sick last night with dry heaves. and extreamly dizzy. idk what to do anymore should i say fuck michigan and forget about everyone and everything there? if so then i dont have to worry about the problems there . but then that means no nichole and ......idk. should i try and deal with it and just dig threw the pile of crap that has been bestowed apoun me ? im just not sure anymore...i truely do care about nichole and all my other friends back home but theres always so much drama back in michgan...maybe i should just her a favor and just disipear in the the indiana night bc that what i wont cause more problems and trouble for her.i know it will be hard for me and im sure she wouldnt like that idea but if it wasnt for me she would be getting into the trouble shes gotten into and is in. and also i wont have to worry about hurtting her ideal life that she has tryed so hard to stay on the path that she original wanted if i go then she can take that path again and maybe straiten it back out again. im 50-50 on all this. but maybe it would be for the best it will inflict lots of pain im sure but time heals all wounds and even though wonds may leave scars it still wont be as bad as if i were to stay in the picture. maybe its for the best i do disipear...............




if u have any comments please help me...

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:: 2003 3 October :: 10.48 am
:: Mood: happy

hey whats up all to whos reading this , hi to all friends back home , college is great i love it down here the only thing is i miss nichole alot , :( it makes me sad sometimes that i can see her as much as i want to .i wont be back home for a vist for a wile. pry xmas is the next time ill be back , nichole and my family is comeing down oct 17 , 18, 19 i cant wait i got a great night planed for us in downtown shes going to love it god i miss her :( and all my friends , i wish i could get like a week off to come back home and see you all again.and my buddy travis portter is comeing down next weekend if any of u know him give him a call and call me maybe u could come down and party ppl , i wanna see my friends , but other than the missing nichole and my other friends things are great ,
on another note theres this chick at work that is pretty cool shes hhot and id never have the guts to talk to her but the ccrazy thing is shes always walking over to me and talking to me its weird so we will see where this episode will lead us .....lol.

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:: 2003 18 August :: 6.34 pm
:: Music: icp

college
well i live in indiana indionapolis now , its so fucking fun down here , i dont know if im going to move back home , i have been down here like a month and a half i think , the partys and all the ppl and school is just great , college isnt half as hard as i figured it would be , but since its only a year college and they cram 2 years into one every week it escolates , so in about a month or to ill be all stressed , i went hom this weekend and say nichole were no longer going out but i stil have all the feelings for her and its really weird seeing her i loved it but at the same time was uncomfortibal bc all i wanted to do was hold her and shit like that but i couldnt i miss her so much and alot of ppl back home like my family too. im trying to quite smokeing. its hard but eh, anyways idk if im going to move back home after school ends the only thing that will make me really want to move back is if nichole and i had a chance to hook back up but i dont see that one happening on her part. it hurt me to see her but made me feel good at the same time i love being around her , i made it home in 4 1/2 hours sunday also usely takes 5 so i cut a half hour off it was good bc i couldnt stand being in that car to much longer it was really getting to me. well idk what else to say so lata ppl.

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