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theedgeofyouratmosphere

:: 2012 25 September :: 10.32am
:: Mood: angry

just want to bash my face off a glass table x4,567 times.
Just want it to stop, just want it to be alright. want to stop this.
that black tide is driving me nuts.

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theedgeofyouratmosphere

:: 2012 16 July :: 8.13pm
:: Mood: okay

I haven't been on here in forever, forever is a long time so I don't think it has been that long.. but it sure does feel like a good bit of time.
I totally forget all the codes for this, and for anything on the internet in that matter. I am here to update on my life, to get things out.. and possibly re-connect or make new friend<3

I am a mother of 2 little girls who depend on me in this shitty world I'm doing the best I can, all though some days it can be a little stressful, they always reassure me of how much love they can give. I haven't had it easy, Left my ex after a love-hate relationship of 4 yrs for somebody new, I felt like a wet puppy sitting along side the dark sidewalks as the world acted as the street lights in the dark. I Really didn't know if I could make that step of leaving.. It just wasn't right, not working out.. I was tired of the mess I always had to clean up.. But I did get a beautiful little girl out of such a terrible time. I obviously met someone new, we spent 2 years together before saying I do .. I love him and everything he does for this family. And I got another blessing, another little girl. It's been 3 years of happiness, but of course as I wander if it's normal too think of the past and be thankful for where I am today? even if I miss or I should say reminisce on everything I have endured. I sometimes often wonder how things could have been, what would have happened... I snap out of that funk as soon as a bad memory comes about and some days I will sit by myself, asking.. do I deserve what I have even if I have, or questioned? but like I said, I got 2 beautiful girls. :)
I battle with mental illness so everyday is a struggle. but they keep me going, even when I want to give up.
Right now I'm 23, its crazy realizing I've had this account since high school if not middle school? my old best friend actually introduced me, glad she did but sorry that I have not kept up.. A lot has happened.. like any ones life.. but I have lost a good amount of friends. Some for good reasons and others I have no idea? maybe it was best that way.. or it comes with age. I literally talk to probably 6 people and most live in my house lol.. I've grown up a lot too, but I'm still not a homeowner ;)

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theedgeofyouratmosphere

:: 2010 16 November :: 8.45pm
:: Mood: angry

rant...
JUST RANTING AND PUTTING IT OUT THERE! --I hate when a certain someone plays the "Worlds GREATEST Dad" role, when you only show your kid off for show if you're going somewhere or have company.. And usually when its your turn to spend time with her, you don't spend any time with her what-so-ever.. the girlfriend has her the majority of the time for various reasons such as work or you're sleeping, then when the gf isn't there you call me acting like a lunatic because you can't "handle" her, whats there to handle? shes your daughter too!! Doesn't give you an excuse to be mean to her either! she tells people!!! but boy oh boy, when an event comes up and you need to play house and dress up you're the first flipping person to fight for her, aren't ya? Then I get shit thrown in my face when your mad because I left your stupid ass and you chose not to see her, you rather of went to the bar and did whatever else you were doing, when I know, you know and the good Lord knows I tried to set up visitations but you chose other shit AND people know I tried!.. EVEN WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER YOU SAT YOUR ASS.. ON MY COUCH, EATING ALLLLLL MY FOOD AND PLAYED VIDEO GAMES THE WHOLE TIME, had to beg you to cut the grass or do something around the house or PAY ATTENTION TO OUR DAUGHTER! when you played Call of Duty or whatever it was you would freak out if she got in front of the freaking tv!.......But yeah! had to beg you to please make an effort so everyone in my family or friends wouldn't think you were a bum! and it took a year and a half to get you too work including when we first met! note you hated to shower too, had to beg that freaking shit too. AND LETS BUST OUT the fact you had stank ass women, playing phone games on MY PHONE THAT I PAYED FOR, monthly. get your funky A$$ outta here, I am heated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh and THANKS FOR LETTING MY DAUGHTER GO TO YOUR GIRLFRIENDS MOTHERS HOUSE FOR THANKSGIVING THIS YEAR! even though you'll be working! what the hell is the point? she should be with ME if you gotta work!!! can I get a DUH? lmao. ugh.

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theedgeofyouratmosphere

:: 2009 11 December :: 11.52am
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: sponge - plowed.

I hate being fat. fat fat fat..
its horrible, i feel terrible 99.9% of the time.
I've never been this huge. EVER. i wish i was at my goal weight, which is * 145lbs... FML

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theedgeofyouratmosphere

:: 2009 17 January :: 3.06pm
:: Mood: determined

A lot has been taking place lately, recently moved from bentleyville to weedville..its about 3 1/2 hours away and i miss my friends and family so much. I have family up here but my mother isn't here, which really sucks..she doesn't get to see elise and i don't get to see my sister, Brianna who is 5 1/2 years old..time flys! wow.
I don't really have any friends anymore, i'm a bum who goes on the internet looking for conversation and i feel pitiful sometimes, i just miss being younger when there was no worries, nothing to stand in my way.. I had loads of friends and fun.. but all that is over now, its more reality.. it did just me for the better though, and i love being a mother.
Sometimes i just feel so alone.
Few of my old friends had or is having a baby, and i'm delighted for them i wish them all the best, we all grow up, some just faster than others.
Have you ever wanted to go back into the past? if its just to change somethings or just re-live it? i do to an extent of course, my situations would have been better and decisions of course; more wiser.
I'm jobless for the time being all though i did put applications in, everyone is losing there jobs, getting laid off or getting the hours cut.. Its hard for everyone anymore, the economy is bad.. "Barack Obama" isn't going to make anything any better though.. BUT we will see. hmm.
Lance has a ajob so hes supporting myself and our darling, beautiful child, Elise Renee whom is now a year old. Were doing the best we can and doing it well.. We are so blessed and wouldn't change it any other way. I won't lie i miss a lot of things, but change is good, ya know?
I want to move back to Washington Co., but we will see later in time right now we need to get our priorities straight, in which is coming along great!
We live in a big 4bedroom, 2bathroom white house.. old as hell from 1919 but its cool for now..

Oh!
I think my cat is pregnant her belly is so big, so of course i cater to her i know what its like to be miserable and tired..big fat cow syndrome. lol

had a puppy gave it to a better home, couldn't really afford the cute little things..he was a black lab mixed with american bulldog..so cute i tell ya, i wish him and his new family the best!

had a chocolate siamese cat..he sprayed everywhere out of pure jealously so he got a new home fast! and i didn't want a single penny for him, great house cat.. just wanted the best for him as well.. so its just
elise, lance, myself and bailey(female cat)
were getting by just fine.

i am on a mission to loose this flab and i will continue to do so until something changes in my weight, i'm really pushing myself and it needs to be done.. I'm sick and tired of feeling gross.. i want to be sexy! i look good but i want to be "fine" lol, i'm such a tard.

trying every diet on this planet nothing works for me but i WILL find something!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm determined.
Because i am tired of myself and seeing all these other chicks who give weight loss a bad name. My minds at ease and my spirit is high, i can do this, I WILL DO THIS.

thanks for reading.
tata.

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blondiegirl05

:: 2008 4 July :: 2.28am
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: katy perry [i kissed a girl]

friends only, of course.




Comment to be added.
Or just add me and I'll add you back.


I deleted all of the old entries and will now be using this blog to talk about me mostly (my thoughts, opinions, favorite things, etc.). I plan on keeping up with it pretty regularly, so give it a try.. you might like what you find.


xoxo♥ashleigh

(((edit))) 9-2-09: for real this time :)

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imnotokay

:: 2008 1 June :: 10.23pm
:: Mood: A big ol' Clusterfuck!
:: Music: Tokio Hotel-"Ready,Set,Go!"

I'm Open For Business!
Well what do ya know? My bitchin' azz self is back at it again. I'm living my life and came across woohu again. I need to start blogging more and i've lost my touch with it, which is sad, very sad. I am really tired considering i'e just returned from a 10 hour Baby Shower that literally felt like forever. I mean, it's my best friend's baby, but still. I can't sit out in the hott sun for more than 2 hours to the point where i'll be stompin some ass for a cigarette. Pardon my language, well no don't pardon, i meant every word. I've been looking back on past entries and learning of how much a loser i really am lol. I recently joined a little place known as Stickam.com and i personally fell into love with it. It's a live webcam community where you can go on cam and talk to ppl form all over the world, at first, everyone just thinks it's some place to be insanely crazy and show your junk off to people, but it's really not. It is a serious place for fun. You should all join and add me, just go to my profile, CLICK HERE! I'm so busy these days between hanging with my friends and entertaining ppl on stickam. I can be sure to tell you this blog will never get boring anytime soon. Look out for some really crazy andy stories. COMING SOON!

P.s. This is where i'm saying goodbye and seeya at the next blog!

-andy

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theedgeofyouratmosphere

:: 2008 4 April :: 8.16am
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Baby Mozart. on tv.

Update.
Well i had my daughter she was due jan 9th, but came about jan 2nd 8:59am
i'm very happy.. shes 3months now, and shes precious. i love her so much.. she has changed me for the good! and Lance is a great father; so together were a great family. i love both of them and vise versa. Lance started his new job almost 3 weeks ago, i love it.. so he gets paid today! i'm excited to finally have money i have being to poor.. but what sucks is he drives alot and is hardly home.. he works 3am to 1pm sometimes 4pm. i miss makin him breakfast lol. oh well, money money money, gotta pay bills, i plan not to work for awhile i don't trust noone with an infant as of what i always see on the fucking.. tv.. news.. ugh.
i'm on alli, i'm trying to lose weight, i only like 4 lbs so far.. and like 2 inches.. of course i need more. before i got pregnant i was 5'5 and 158 lbs or something, and now i'm atleast more than at lol.. and i liked that weight i was sooo happy! but of course, it was worth it i got my little girl Elise Renee, aw.
but yes! i need to take it off.. i'm trying, i'm having a party tomorrow night, elise is going to grandma's wooo! i'll miss her, but i can't wait to make jello shots..
anyways thats all i'm reporting.

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Image and video hosting by TinyPic



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love4skate

:: 2008 5 March :: 9.02am
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: We're in heaven- cascada

baby you're all that i need.
Tyler didn't call me at all yesterday, but he called me this morning to say I love you. [: Tori's not at school again, so I'm bored as fuck. I don't have much to say.

Have a good day!
-Em.

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love4skate

:: 2008 4 March :: 9.03am
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Bittersweet Symphony.

EAPTWB<3
So i'll probably be updating this thing until I graduate, cause I aide 3rd period. So I'll be updating everyday. Today I found out I don't have to come to school next Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday. So hopefully Tyler gets out Monday, that would be perfect! So I can spend those 3 days with him. I watched Cruel Intentions for the first time about a week ago. That's my new favorite, It's an amazing movie.

I don't really feel like typing anymore.
Have a good day!

-Em

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love4skate

:: 2008 25 February :: 10.00am
:: Mood: disappointed
:: Music: Boosie

Damn, looking at this is ridiculous. It's been so damn long. I'm a senior now, and graduating in 2 1/2 months. I have a wonderful boyfriend, Tyler William Bauer. I have a best friend Victoria May Cosgrove. My boyfriends in jail at the moment. He went in 2/13/08 and his courtdate is 3/4/08. So hopefully he gets out a couple days after that. But we don't know. My birthday was 2/15/08, 18! Holla! I got some new piercings, Septum, Smiley, and Lip. Tattoo soon, hopefully. I listen to rap more often than anything else. I don't have a job. But I have a car waiting in the garage for me to get a job. I got kicked out of school Last february, and I just got back this year. I love art, hopefully that will be my field in college. But we'll see. I'm hoping Tyler and I stay together for a long time. I really love him, so I hope things go well with him. I'm going crazy with him being in jail. It's a terrible feeling. But I will live.



Everyone have a nice day!



EAPTWB<3



I'll probably never update this again, or even think to look at it.♥

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imnotokay

:: 2007 25 December :: 12.06am
:: Mood: Ready for Christmas! =D
:: Music: Paramore-"Misery Business Remix"

I'm Back for 08'
Hello Everyone,

I am back at woohu. I haven't expected a comeback, but low and behold; here i am. I'm doing very good these days. I've turned 16 and i am definitley loving it. I'm currently single, and after finding out that right now love doesn't exist for me(Hint: Past Entries), i've gone and looked for it, so far, nothing. I hope that you old woohu friends will welcome me back with open arms, i've missed this place for sure. Well, Merry Christmas, and be back soon to update more...

-love me like whoa.

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theedgeofyouratmosphere

:: 2007 24 December :: 1.23pm
:: Mood: anxious

X-mas EVE!
Merry Christmas! And Have A Happy New Year!



nothing to report today, except for i cleaned all day LIKE EVERY OTHER FUCKING DAY. ugh.
and the baby is moving ALOT. it's so uncomfortable, i want to cry sometimes, shes to big to be squirming around lol.. but i guess it's a matter of time!?!?!??!

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theedgeofyouratmosphere

:: 2007 23 December :: 11.11am
:: Mood: busy

December 23rd
I haven't been able to sleep great lately.. i'm 37+weeks and the baby was in head down position, now she's breech i think because my sides are wider due to her turning .. i hope she goes back to where she was it was so odd for her to change so late in pregnancy!?
i just hope everythings alright.. i'm getting nervous and excited lol
it shouldn't be to much longer, because i'm due January 9th anyways, so anywhere from now til then or sometime after Elise Renee Rogers will arrive to a Washington County Hospital near YOU! LOL.
other than being 9 months, i haven't been up to diddly squat, just cleaning and re-arranging and putting things up and getting things ready for Christmas on tuesday.. I'M GEEKED. i act like a little girl still when it comes to the holidays :)

i'm lonely sometimes, i never really do anything but inside stuff that needs done to the apartment, we still have no luck on finding a place to move into yet.. but we didn't give up searching.

i wish i had more friends, or atleast i wish some people would come around more.. i never see anyone, and i don't know if it's them or me?
i don't mind doing stuff but i grew up alot over the past couple of years, and matured WAY MORE than i was 10 months ago, life isn't all about getting drunk and finding some way to be high or have a good time.
i have more going on in my life now than i ever did.. and it's a GREAT change for me.
probably after the baby i might have a drink or 2 but not til i know i'm ready, and i don't think thats right after she comes.. so i'll wait alittle bit, but i know i need something lol i've been stressed out for MONTHS.

sometimes i get help with things and other times i don't. Me and lance are doing fine we get along and there's days when we don't but that isn't abnormal because everyone bickers and argues sometimes, i feel a relationship isn't a healthy one without it, because then you'd be quiet all the time and some things would never be expressed and just kept in to dwell on.. we get bored though due to nothing in PA is fun lol!! but were in love and it makes me happy; he makes me smile everyday and every hour.
he's truly my bestfriend.

Jena should be coming back soon, it's almost january!! i hope me and her hang out more when she comes home.. when we were younger we were tight as a noose lol. so i hope to get that back or atleast some awesome new memories n shit :)


well that's it for today i gotta get dressed and the laundry loaded up, going to the laundry mat, WOOOOO!

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theedgeofyouratmosphere

:: 2007 30 September :: 3.28pm
:: Mood: bored

I still don't know what i'm having.
i'm 25+ weeks
and it sucks! everytime i go to have an ultrasound the baby crosses he or she's legs. err. makes me mad! but it's cute.
i want to know so bad.. so i'm tryin to get one more ultrasound in.. wish me luck? hehe.

but nothing new has been going on
just been cleaning the house and cookin/bakin
mmMmm
also being bored. found out a couple more of my friends are pregnant. its so cute to hear it from someone else other than me, LOL i feel fat! so now people can have a belly with me! haha even though i'm much more farther than they are besides my cousin Christina, she's due 2 days before me. don't ask how that happened. we didn't plan it LoL.

me and lance are trying to find another place.
up here its like everyone is noisey and knows your business. so much drama is involved everywhere; so i really don't wanna stay here long.

OOH! i got my butt into gear; i started my G.E.D classes so i can get my diploma. YAY HAHAHA i only go 2 times a week, but i'm more advanced than the others so i could possibly take my test very soon. WOOP WOOP.

thats it for now really.
much luv

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