Oh ehm gee.
So I talked to my parents. They know I'm going to be moving in a few months, anyways, for school. Basically, I just sat them both down and told them my plan. Well, me & Seth's plan. The fact that he's moving with me and joining the Army while I'm in school. It will take me two years to finish, and it's not like anyone will be there to distract me (I threw that in because I thought it would sound good to them). Well, our dog-child may distract me a little, but I love her, so it's okay! :)
They know about everything, but they reminded me that I need to keep on my toes if they wanted me to have them pay for the schooling. And that I needed to keep a job, and make sure I keep up with bills and blah, blah, blah...stuff I already know and have planned for.
I decided not to move in with Seth now, seeing as how we'll be moving together in a month or two, and there's no sense in me moving ALL of my stuff twice.

ON TO THE BIG NEWS... -drumroll-
We found a house. It's not in the town I'm going to school in, but the next one over. It is a rent-to-own contract deal...I have no idea what that really entails, but everything I've looked up so far has told me that the contracts usually last for two years (perfect!) and that within that time period, you get to decide whether or not you'd like to purchase the house. If you do purchase it, all of the "rent" that you have paid is applied to the total cost of the house; if you don't, you "lose" all the money - just as if you were renting. Anyhow, there is no down payment, and the rent is only $309 per month. I'm guessing that is in addition to the utilities. BUT...get this...it's a 3 bedroom home with a full dining room and a carport, and it's less than 5 minutes away from a park. It sounds lovely. I called them today and didn't get an answer, just like I figured, what with it being a Sunday and all. We are going to arrange an appointment to see it and let them know we are definitely interested! I left them a message, so I'm expecting a call tomorrow.

Finally, everything is coming together. And I am SO ready. This is making me jumpy and giddy and of course, completely stoked!!!!!!

Life's little blessings...
How do you know you're doing the right thing? How do you ever know?

It has come to a point in my existance where I have to make potentially life-altering decisions. For example, 1) moving in with my boyfriend, 2) committing to marriage, and 3) going to school. Here's the deal: Seth and I have been dating for over four years now. We've never had any major problems or fights or even been on-and-off daters like a lot of people seem to be these days. I started dating him when I was 19. He's a great guy, and I love him. But there are things with us that I don't like. Things that could easily be changed. And all of these things affect my decision-making on points 1 and 2. The main problem is with my parents. They've never liked Seth - this all stems from the first time they "met" him when we had only been dating for about a week. I admit, I dated a total loser (not to mention, asshole) before him, and so my parents probably didn't have high expectations for my choice in boyfriend selection. He gave me a ride home because my car broke down right at the stoplight in town, and so I figured this would be a good opportunity for my parents to meet Seth. Mind you, my dad believed - and still believes, to this day - that Seth was with me when my car broke down and so it was his fault. I have no clue why. When I got home, my parents immediately started yelling (bitching, really) at me in front of Seth, and they mentioned how it was my fault the car broke down because I wasn't checking the oil and getting it changed and such and that I wasn't being responsible, probably due to the fact that I occasionally smoked weed and that they felt that was wrong of me. I could tell Seth was trying to save me from this obvious humiliation and he said that smoking weed may be wrong to them, but it wasn't wrong to everyone. Not smart, I know, but he was trying to get them off of me. My parents (especially my dad) took that as a smart ass remark and have hated him ever since. Last time he was over at my house, my dad told me later that he was never allowed to come over again and that if he did, he would call the cops. I can tell my mom stuff about Seth and his family and the things we do and she listens, but I know that all she does is go back and tell my dad everything I said and then he just bitches at me about everything I said later on.

My parents have absolutely zero interest in my life. It has always been that way. When I was younger, I was a smart girl. I still am. I was put into the gifted classes. When I got to third or fourth grade, I suddenly realized I had no friends. I had a best friend, but in third grade, she quit hanging out with me and basically dumped me for another group of friends. By fifth grade, I had finally made a new best friend - and one that my parents did not approve of. Not that they ever approved of my other one either. They don't approve of anyone, not one person, who I've ever allowed to enter my life. No one is ever good enough for them. See, neither one of them really had any friends in school, so I guess they thought I could get by without them as well. It's like they just keep disapproving because they think their opinion will change mine. I've barely ever had my own friends over to my house even. They don't like anyone. And they don't ask about anyone, but complain when I'm hanging out with someone. That I should be at home, studying or helping to clean the house. Ugh. Needless to say, I led a pretty sheltered life as a child. So it comes as no surprise to me that they hate Seth, too. I don't know what to say to them; I mean, is it gonna be like this the rest of my life? I can't take it. It's absolutely ridiculous. I love this boy, we've talked about getting married, and I can just see my parents' stern faces as I'm as happy as can be at the alter. What the fuck.

I've rambled incessantly so far, but I need to keep going......

The other things. Well, Seth has problems keeping jobs. He had a few sales jobs in which he ended up getting screwed over by the companies he worked for, none of which were in any way his fault. That's sales for you. He got fired from one job because of me and my failed attempts at getting him to work on time when he didn't have a car. He's wanted to join the Army for years, but I don't know what's holding him back. He's so smart, and he has so much more potential than he gives himself credit for. But at least he's always had a job. It's just...I don't know if the future is stable.

I feel like a maid sometimes because I'm always cleaning his place. I practically live there, but I don't. I go home to sleep and shower, and none of my belongings are there except for a bunch of movies and video games. Though he has helped me clean lately...

So he wants me to move in with him. My problem is telling my parents. It won't be easy or pretty, I know. Last week, he gave me an ultimatum: I have two weeks to tell my parents I'm moving out or we're breaking up. He said he's tired of me jacking around with it; after all, he wanted me to move in when he got the place six months ago, and I said I would. It's just...I don't want to lose my parents. Despite everything they've done to me throughout my life, I don't want to lose our relationship. They're still my parents. I'm just going to have to suck it up, I guess. I really do want my own life, and I should have it. I want to get married to Seth. I just need to stop worrying about what they think. This is my life now...

...but how do I know I'm doing the right thing? What if things don't work out? What if my parents completely ignore me for the rest of my life for this? I don't know. I'm so stressed by everything, and my fingers are hurting from all this typing. I don't even know if I went with the topic I started out with. I just need someone to look at this situation and tell me what the hell my problem is.

Not that you needed to know, but...
Well, hey there! -gives a southern Sandy squirrel-kinda welcome-
If you're reading this, well...welcome to my life. Seriously. If you're reading this, you might wanna reconsider. I'm total lamesauce times two.

I guess I should get on with it...
Hmmm...why am I here? I'm not sure, really; I just happened to stumble across this site and it seems pretty spiffy, so I decided to join. I read a few 'random' journals and couldn't help but notice that many of them haven't been updated since 2004, but that's cool. I'm not really here to befriend random strangers. And hell, I can't complain. I got this thing for free! But yeah...so the site has a few 'old' members who probably forgot about it when they got lives. -shrugs- I don't blame them. Plus, it really makes me feel like this site is sorta exclusive and I don't have to really worry about too many people reading this. Oh, and props to whoever came up with the name...Woohu is a BAMF-in name!!!

I guess I just need a place to vent. There are just certain things I can't discuss with anyone else. I don't have a lot of *close* friends, and I can't tell my boyfriend everything. He's been my one and only for over four years now; we're not engaged yet, but we are getting married one day. We've just got to figure out when...oh, and acquire enough money for an appropriate wedding. Not a huge one, not a tiny one, something...decent. Enough about that. Around junior high, I started writing in journals/diaries/whatever you wanna call them (Yes, writing. You see, boys and girls, this was right around the time the Internet was really getting popular and the 'blog' was still unknownst to most people.) until my mom found and read mine. Might I add she also used to read the notes my friends & I passed in school if she stumbled across them. No, wait - she actually looked for them, hoping to find some sort of incriminating information about me. After high school, I started a Dead Journal since I was such a depressive freak, but after my life started getting better and i felt less depressed, I was no longer compelled to write there. I wouldn't belong. I haven't kept any such log until now. I found some old ones that made me realize how much this (writing in one of these) clears my mind. And when the mind is free and clear...oh, geez...it's such a good feeling.

I don't want to make my first "official" entry (the test doesn't count) super long, so hey...if you think you might enjoy reading about a total stranger, feel free to add me. I'll check you out; if I like what I see, I *might* just add you in return. And don't just be a fly on the wall; talk to me; offer me some advice and comments every now and again. Really, I'm a very helpful person. My friends always come to me for advice. So I will definitely return the favor. :)

Later gators.