Blurring And Stirring The Truth And The Lies


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I Won't Be Broken Again

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:: 2004 6 May :: 11.57 am

The Only Chance In My Lifetime

When I was sixteen I had the chance of a lifetime. I had a chance to board the White Star Line’s RMS Titanic, the Ship of Dreams. My parents were rich enough to afford a first class suite, so to flaunt their wealth they purchased three first class tickets. I didn’t want to go to America but I had no choice because my father wouldn’t budge once he made up his mind on something.
I woke up around five in the morning on April 10, the day we were to set sail, to my mother having a fit.
“Holly! Wake up! Why didn’t you finish packing last night?” She turned on my lights and shook me awake. I opened my eyes to see Ms. Johansen, out maid fluttering about my room packing things from my drawers. I rolled my eyes and sighed.
“I did…” I muttered. No one heard me. I knew Mother would think that what I packed wouldn’t be enough. I stood up and put on my robe as Mother took out a fancy dress from my closet.
“Come on, put this on!” she ushered. I took the dress and wrinkled my nose. “What? You don’t like it?”
“Won’t I be a little over dressed for going on a ship?” I asked as I slipped into the dress.
“Not for a first class passenger you won’t, besides, we have the money to dress like this so why can’t we?” she said all in one breath. I sighed again as Ms. Johansen started brushing through my waist long silver hair. I looked at myself in my vanity mirror. This couldn’t be me.

At exactly eleven o’clock we boarded the RMS Titanic and found our rooms. I had my own room that was connected to a private drawing room. It all seemed too big and unnecessary for about a week on the North Atlantic. I pointed this out to one of the younger crewmembers that had helped bring in my suitcases.
“Well it seems you’ve packed enough,” he said. I laughed.
“I didn’t pack this, if it were up to me I would have left half of this home!” I gestured to my five large suitcases that were being put away by the maids. I had tried to help earlier, but Mother yelled at me, saying that’s they only thing that these people were good for.
“I’m sure,” he laughed.
“No, really, I didn’t pack all this. I have a feeling I’ll only need about one fourth of what was brought. By the way, I’m Holly Anders.”
“Rick Barton, a pleasure to meet you Miss Anders.”
“Call me Holly, I hate sounding older than I really am.” He nodded and left. I looked around my room once more; it was fancier than my room at home.
“Holly!” I jumped and turned to see my best friend from school Kristina Melrose standing in my doorway. “I saw your parents on deck and they told me I could find you here!” we hugged.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“Mum and I are going second class to America, Dad has been there a while and we’ve been waiting for an opportunity like this to come along.”
“So you’ll be staying in America then?” I asked.
“I guess so,” she shrugged.
“This is so unfair. If you ask me this ship is going to bring nothing but misery.” I said.
“What makes you think that?” she asked quickly.
“Nothing good can come of this ship, its done nothing but ruin my life so far, what makes you think that it will stop once it sets sail?”
“Oh come on Holly, you are on a piece of history! This ship will be in the books our children’s children will be learning from!” Kris insisted.
“Maybe,” the truth was, I had been having dreams ever since we bought our tickets. Images of dead bodies in water and screaming filled my head at night. I would wake up almost every night in a cold sweat, crying because of the things my head made me see. I thought I was going insane.
“C’mon, lets go wave farewell!” Kris grabbed my hand and dragged me out on deck. It was one minute to noon.
“Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.” The man next to me uttered under his breath, the ship started moving. People around me waved vigorously to the people in the crowded street.

I've got to breathe

:: 2004 30 April :: 7.37 pm
:: Mood: bored

I bored, nothing else to say

I've got to breathe

:: 2004 26 April :: 10.11 pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Good Time Music

Yeah so today was stupid. Tomorrow will be stupid. Yesterday was stupid. I'm bored and my hair is hard. Its pissing me off. Well, I have nothing else to say, but I's gonna go get nekkid now, wait what?

I've got to breathe

:: 2004 24 April :: 11.23 am
:: Mood: chipper

I'm chipper, and I'm going to fucking stay that way!
So yeah, I'm listening to No Doubt, no I lied, now I'm listening to Great White. This song reminds me of eight grade. WHy? I dunno... but yeah.. I was reading Kelly's journal and it turns out that she and her other friends were almost abducted. She was really scared. I remember the time... no I dont want to remember, never mind. But yeah, I can relate to how scared she was. Now I'm listening to Holy Diver by Dio. Eye Heart Dio man... Yeah but anyway... boring weekend nothing better to do than sit here and stare at the computer screen. Crap, people is at the door.

He he that was fun. Well I'm gonna go... byes..

I've got to breathe

:: 2004 22 April :: 7.18 pm
:: Mood: chipper

this is with my pen name... funny though thats why I like it

Your Years at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Family Line
Dated Hermione Granger
You are well known for Always getting detentions
Percentage of student body you shagged - 97%
How do the staff and students feel about you They think you're ok
This QuickKwiz by lady_ameily - Taken 10480 Times.

I've got to breathe

:: 2004 22 April :: 7.16 pm
:: Mood: chipper

Your Years at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Family Line
Dated Narcissa Malfoy
You are well known for Managing to shag Snape.
Percentage of student body you shagged - 70%
How do the staff and students feel about you Will you Marry me?!?!!
This QuickKwiz by lady_ameily - Taken 10467 Times.

I've got to breathe

:: 2004 21 April :: 11.15 am

Your Love Life in Evanescence Lyrics
Favourite Color
Your Love Life Everyone leaves me stranded,Forgotten, abandoned, left behind,I can't stay here another night
This QuickKwiz by Eskimo - Taken 2851 Times.

2 I can't keep going under | I've got to breathe

:: 2004 21 April :: 11.11 am
:: Mood: chipper


Insanity Test
Your problem is Generally Psychotic behaviour
Will you ever be cured? (8) - Don't count on it. - (8)
Just how crazy are you? - 89%
This QuickKwiz by insanitydefense - Taken 7846 Times.

I've got to breathe

:: 2004 21 April :: 11.05 am
:: Mood: amused

Today in school I yelled at this kid in my fifth hour... we had a really early dismissal so the classes were only like 25 minutes long, so everyone thought we werent going ot be doing work. Just because it was a half day doesnt mean that we shouldnt do work. If we werent going to do work that day then why didnt the school board give us the full day off? I mean, they're stupid and all, but they're not that stupid. .. so yeah, I yelled this at this kid and all the while some dumbass I hate kept going "yeah, yeah, you're right," sincerely though... and I turned to him and yelled at him for being stupid because he's like 17 and in Freshmen Algebra, I mean... when in the senario you have no right to be acting all cool and shit like you know better than all of us just because you're older than all of us... its something to be ashamed of(if you failed that is)

Well I have to go now because I want to

I've got to breathe

:: 2004 21 April :: 11.05 am
:: Mood: chipper

Why cant people just say unda-wears and not panites?

Insanity Test
Your problem is Multiple Personalities
Will you ever be cured? (8) - You may rely on it. - (8)
Just how crazy are you? - 87%
This QuickKwiz by insanitydefense - Taken 7835 Times.

I've got to breathe

:: 2004 8 April :: 5.58 pm
:: Mood: sad

I gonna miss woohu..
I love this journal but I can pay the newly instituted fee.. so.. yeah. I mean, its not an unrealistic fee, its really small, but I'm really poor... I mean... really really. I'll just keep updating my blurty or something... but I really really liked this site...

2 I can't keep going under | I've got to breathe

:: 2004 5 April :: 3.49 pm
:: Mood: discontent

Lemme rephrase that
I'm realy tired and... being IMed by odd homies... moo

I've got to breathe

:: 2004 4 April :: 2.07 pm
:: Mood: bored

I spent the night at Brandis last night with Kelly and Jessica.. it was fun other than the fact that the one girl wouldnt stop touching Kelly and me... it was disturbing, she was really abrasive... and didnt like her... but I liked everyone else... specially that Brandi girl, damn she be fine. Moo.

Okee, I'm out... chii

I've got to breathe

:: 2004 2 April :: 10.54 pm
:: Mood: chipper

I... dunnnooo
I had a really long week... its like everytime I I fell asleep I only slept for a minute... It was an easy week... however... they fired a whole lot of my fav. teachers because the school board is so stupid... Ms. Flemming is so cool and I heard that she was fired because she is a new teacher.. that pisses me off because she is so cool... and there are other teachers that they're giving the boot but I cant remember them right now. This is a cause for some serious protestage...

I'm also kinda pissed that I didnt get to see the play.. I would go tomorrow but I have to go to Brandi's party... I'll let you know how that one turns out... heh...

So yeah, I'm just waiting for the sneak peak to next seasons Degrassi... so I'll be goin now... hey... who took my music off?

I've got to breathe

:: 2004 1 April :: 4.17 pm
:: Mood: complacent

I dont know what my mood means

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