friends | profile | guestbook

you know you've got everybody fooled

recent entries | past entries

:: 2003 17 September :: 9.50 pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: x-tina & lil kim - can't hold us down

i'm really out of it right now...things have gone wrong for me for the past days now...i guess i'm trying to get past things right now...just really really hard...i hate to say it, but now i'm at the point where if ppl don't like me or things i do...i guess they are dead weight on me...i can't do anything right anymore, so if ppl don't like it...you don't have to pretend to be my friends then...i've had this happen for the past couple days now...& maybe i deserve it...maybe i'm better off alone...or dead...

i hate all my classes & now i wish i was out of high school already...i thought about how i've wanted to pursure a carrer in music...singing in fact...& i think to myself now how silly i am bout it...i'm lazy to the thought of actually doing something bout it...i feel bummed cuz ppl are motivated enough to start bands now & be all music crazy in band...maybe i'm not supposed to be a music person...maybe i'm an office girl...*ugh*...shoot me for that last comment plz...

maybe this will piss off ppl...but lately i'm not caring anymore...i hung out with joey today...& i took some ppl's thoughts seriously today in actually thinking wether or not i am really in love with him...to my surprise i found the answer...I DO...& ppl will think that i say that because i don't know what to think or i'm basing it on the wrong things...but you know what...you're not me...& you'll never be...it's my life...i'll screw it up if i'd like...but right now...this is where my heart is...& my heart has led me to the right path with him...

ppl have opinions...opinions are shit to me...shit needs to be flushed...



& you can't save me

:: 2003 16 September :: 5.45 pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: nothing at all

do do do...

sweet bra

Your bra is a SWEET bra!

Your bra is a caring, loving and doting bra.

Cuddly and sweet like a puppy, soft and warm like a baby's skin is your bra. Daintily designed, pastel coloured, petite and subtle, your bra matches your boobs and your personality.

If your bra was candy, it would be a big red sucker pop...or a cute li'l bowl of rainbow coloured marshmallows.

As caring and thoughtful as you are, your bra never relents in cupping your delectable mounds of love, day round!

What Kind of Bra Are You?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

holding hands
hand holding - you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don't
want to take things too quickly.

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Doesn't Look Like Cheating, But Be Careful

Chances are greater than not that you're guys not cheating…

But there's always the possibility that he's a pro at covering things up

The best thing you can do for now is listen to your intuition

If it seems like he's cheating, he probably is… unless you suspect every guy you date

Is He Cheating On You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

You Are Ready to Get Married

You've done more than dream about the dress and the honeymoon

In fact, you spend a good deal of your time thinking about what makes a relationship work

And from your answers, it looks like you have the skills to say "I Do" and mean it

You've dated enough, learned your fair share, and you're ready to settle down.

Are You Ready for Marriage? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.


2 not real | & you can't save me

:: 2003 16 September :: 10.23 pm
:: Mood: scared & lonely
:: Music: silence

ya no estoy aqui...mori!
i'm sorry that you feel that way gina...you didn't let me say my side of the story & i understand that you hate me right now...i didn't mean to start such a "war" with you...but you should've said something earlier...i try to forget the past cuz i hate living in it...& i'm sorry that things haven't quite gone right with us...i'd only be willing to say my side later cuz right now...i'm just really hurt...you have the right to blame me...but you blame me for the wrong reasons...& it's not that i had joey comment for me...but he gave a shit...he knew that i was feeling like crap anyways before i read your journal...& once again i'm sorry that you are so mad at me right now...& if you would like to break this friendship...then i guess go right ahead...maybe it really is my fault...maybe i haven't kept my end of the deal in this friendship...maybe i'm just a dumbass & robert & b are right that i'm the most fucked up person in the world...& i'm sorry for the shit you've gone through with me...i'm seriously not trying to play the fucking victim here...but to be honest, what else am i to do?...you wouldn't let me get my story across...unfortunately at this point, i don't think it matters to you...if you want me out of your life then fine...i'm sorry...that is up to your choosing what you want to do...i'd love to make things better...but i just don't know what to do...i have confided in you things...so many things that i wish sometimes never happened & i know you've done the same practically...& to know i'm hurt...

(no pun intended)
kills me...

1 not real | & you can't save me

:: 2003 15 September :: 5.15 pm
:: Mood: lost
:: Music: green day - basket case

things go so wrong for me...
i had been asking ppl what they thought bout me getting married after high school & before i go to college...just in general though...not specifically with anyone...

ppl think i'm pretty dumb for it...*sigh*...it's not like i'm gonna want kids that quickly though...i think that's what ppl think...but whatever i guess...

i think ppl think i'm dumb for always saying that joey is the one for me...like i said in my previous entry...TOUGH SHIT...i just wish i had some kinda support...sometimes i don't even think lina is happy...*sigh*...

gina's pist at me...& i could give her my side of the story...but it's pointless...i know she's not gonna listen...& that's fine...i'm sorry if i hurt you...but i have reasons...they are real...& i guess...well maybe i'm just grateful knowing that you are ultimately ok from all that you had to go through...& i guess i am a bitch...

i guess...

& you can't save me

:: 2003 15 September :: 11.00 pm
:: Mood: giddy to the max!
:: Music: tv

my face hurts cuz i smile too damn much...
wow, it's increadable...i had an ok day today...i got my new phone & it's currently charging right now...new backpack...i was gonna get a cd today, but i changed my mind...mainly so i wouldn't hear my dad bitch so much bout buying me things...so yeah...i went to hs today & saw danny working...by the way...kinda slow now what's up with that?...at least i liked my bbq bacon dog...i had a feeling he already knew i was gonna be there because i am like the only one who orders that according to him...lol...i'm unique i guess in my taste of food...

i cried a bit today but happy tears though cuz i was watching this movie & it was about a couple & love & shit like that...*sigh*...if i seriously could...i'd rent an apartment...fucking get a great ass job...leave everyone...& take joey with me...he makes everything so much better lately...shit when i got mad at him last night for a misunderstanding of things, we got over it like that...& i love him so much...*sigh*...*sniff sniff*...damnit i'm crying again...

i never want to let go...never...

1 not real | & you can't save me

:: 2003 14 September :: 2.00 pm
:: Mood: energetic

you know what i think?
gosh i'm feeling sick right now...it's funny though how joey can make things better even if it's only for one min...*sigh*...you know what...i'm tired of giving a shit bout what others think lately...


4 not real | & you can't save me

:: 2003 14 September :: 1.11 pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: tv

ain't it the truth?
I don't know whether you would like to hear this or
not, but people might just have a celebration
once you are gone. There are doubts that there
would actually be a PARTY, but there may be a
relief. At least when you're not around,
there's a relief. Your bothersome ways may
cause this. You tend to be a joker or just a
silly, annoying person. People may avoid you or
just sigh when you're around. Who knows? It
could be a good thing for you...

What Type of Funeral Will You Have? Will You Be Missed Once You're Gone?
brought to you by Quizilla

& you can't save me

:: 2003 13 September :: 6.54 pm
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: evanescence - everybody's fool

I am 11% Geek

I wanna be a geek. But I'm not. Why would I even want to be one. Do I think it's fun? I should try writting an online test application at 1 am in my underwear

Take the Geek Test at fuali.com
I am 44% Tortured Artist

I have some artistic ability, but it is probably a hobby and doesn't drive my life into a dark abysmal hole were I am alone and against the world.

Take the Tortured Artist Test at fuali.com
I'm An Angel
I'm An Angel

Smiley Pesonality Quizlet
brought to you by Quizilla

& you can't save me

:: 2003 13 September :: 2.04 pm
:: Mood: completely lost
:: Music: rhonda vincent - you can't take it with you when you go

i'm so bored that i want to do nothing!
i'm impatiently waiting for joey to get online or to call me to see if we're going out tonight...damn i forgot he was gonna fix up his room today...hmm...i dunno...i really want to do something, but not right now, i feel like being a bum right now...*sigh* i'm so tired from lastnight...i had fun & I LOVE YOU JOEY!...i'm so out of it...i kinda want to go out right now, but i dunno...denisse wants to hang out but i dunno what i want to do...if it was night time i'd go walking...i can't go smoke...maybe i'll play my guitar...damn gina just called & asked to go over to imp. & drink...damn i need one, but for some reason i just kinda want to be alone now...hmm...wtf is wrong with me...?...*sigh*...talk later.

& you can't save me

:: 2003 13 September :: 12.21 pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: rhonda vincent - you can't take it with you when you go

i need to eat soon
Chocolate Milk! WoO! You are sweet and indulgent,
but too much of you makes me sick...

What kind of milk are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

damn now i'm thirsty...& i'm craving some freshly baked cookies...damnit!!!


& you can't save me

:: 2003 13 September :: 11.54 am
:: Mood: all smiles
:: Music: fountains of wayne - stacey's mom

another long yet somehow beautiful night
well let's see where i've left off in my journey called life...hmm...well nothing much happened during school, so nm that...i went to the drive in with joey lina & ben...i was kinda mad cuz of something i was told...& i still wonder wtf is wrong with that person...

ppl are their own ppl...they may need guidance, but should really never be told what to do & make them feel stupid for stuff like that...*ugh*...whatever...i explained this to danny so i'm kinda tired of re-explaining it right now...but ultimately i did end up having a good time...

something bout ppl not liking the fact that i've been saying that i want to marry joey in my journal...wtf does it matter?...i understand a few ppl's reasons, but it hurts to think that maybe some of my friends think it's stupid for me to think that...it is what i feel, even as we speak...*sigh*...i don't say things bout other couples...so why does it seem that they hate "us"?...i don't think i'll ever understand that...

maybe ppl think that i'm gonna hurt him...hmm...i'm not gonna...i promise now...i saw how my smoking really hurts joey in a way...so seriously...i am gonna try my fucking hardest to quit...i didn't take it very seriously when i'd said it the first time...so now i am quitting...for good hopefully...*sigh*...it's gonna hurt, but sometimes pain is good...kinda like those goosebumps huh joey?!...ha ha...but seriously i won't hurt joey...it's funny how i say this...but i really truely love joey...

& if no one likes that...TOUGH SHIT!

1 not real | & you can't save me

:: 2003 11 September :: 10.24 pm
:: Mood: full

sleeping on chicken, friendship, & love!

dreamy sexy

You Are Dreamy Sexy!

Your sex appeal stems from your constant dreamlike state.

Not only do you think about fairy tales, you have the ways of a fairy princess.

You're sweet, soft manner attracts similarly dreamy guys

And your natural girly beauty lures all men in, so be discriminating!

What Kind of Sexy Are *You*?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

harmony dancers
You have a rare gift. You are usually even
tempered, but love can make you a bit wacky.
You are highly attatched to all your friends.
You would probably die for your best friend or
your lover. Above all, you think it's important
that everyone get along. You are good at
compromising and probably willing to make
sacrafices for other people. Your broken hearts
take a VERY long time to heal.

What kind of music are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Your Style is Sassy

Your date outfits are flirty and fun - and make guys smile

Occasionally you'll take a fashion risk, and it will pay off

You're up for flashing an inch or two of skin

But your general rule is to leave most of your bod to the imagination

What's Your Date Fashion Style?
Classy, Sassy, or Trashy? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

find YOUR drag persona

and go to mewing.net. where all the men wear skirts.

1 not real | & you can't save me

:: 2003 10 September :: 7.37 pm
:: Mood: smiley
:: Music: my brothers asking me bout y i'm "punk" & if i date out of my world

love of my life
wow i guess alot happens when you don't write much on here huh?...there has been mixed emotions for the past few days...well let's see...what happened?

saturday was GREAT :D ... sunday was just a day i think...monday...oh monday... :( ...

monday was open house...the night i went through so much drama...i had my mom call my dad to go to my open house...as he was coming my family joked around bout me & the way i am...i told them they were immature & they just kept picking on me...i told my mom i was gonna leave...& then she just laughed...so i told her i was gonna kill myself...she laughed again...& said i was stupid...if i were suicidal...that would've done it for me...but i'm not...hmm....

well... i went to open house...it was ok...up until i went to massey's class...my cell rang...my friend was in big need of someone to talk to...so i called danny to see if he'd take me to ec to see her...he was in a "mood" i guess...thinking bout things...so i was whatever bout it...but i couldn't stop thinking bout her...i told joey since it was on my mind big time...he felt for her...oh yeah & i was mad @ my mom cuz i saw her & dad hugging...i know that sounds very weird for me to be mad @...but they are supposed to be getting a divorce...& to be quite honest, i don't want him back...not after the shit i heard bout him...it's sad for me to say that he is the one who had a part of the "making" of me...lol...whatever...so i was mad @ them...& they were mad @ me...i didn't go to the senior meeting...instead i vented to joey bout everything with me...he held me & i felt much better...to make a long story shortened up a bit...me joey danny & denisse went to visit our girl & my parents were mad cuz "i do whatever the fuck i want to"...whatever...so we went to visit...dropped off joey...denisse talked bout her "diggin a hole" story...danny & i cried bout things with us...i'm sorry for you dude...it'll be ok...

well everyday has been ok i guess...my mom isn't much mad at me now & i have the chance to go out...now no one wants to do anything...damnit...maybe i'll just walk round town again...like i usually do when i'm depressed a bit...i dunno...i just know that i really really really love joey more than ever each & every day...hopefully we get to go to the drive-in's friday... ;) ...*crosses fingers*...ONE WEEK BABY...4 FUCKING GREAT MONTHS....

now that i'm hyper...i guess i'll talk later.

& you can't save me

:: 2003 8 September :: 10.24 pm
:: Mood: goofy

i'm in a goofy feeling right now...i went to ec with danny denisse & mark & we all got home late...mark freaked out...danny went bout 100 coming home...i had to pee like a mother...& denisse is content with herself eating her fucking jacknthebox food...wtf happened to that capaccino damnit!?...lol...i couldn't stop smiling today...i got to talk to joey for about 3 or 4 hours online...wow, i'm so in love with him...it's incredable...ok...i think i'm ready to say what it was that made me blush lastnight...

a guy had asked him if he thought i was "the one".....................................he nodded his head "yes"......................................& he means it!

wow, i think he's the one for me too...*sigh*...I LOVE YOU JOEY!...wow, my face hurts from smiling still...lol...well i better get going...i'm gonna have sweet dreams :D...talk later.

2 not real | & you can't save me

:: 2003 7 September :: 3.00 pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: simple plan - meet you there

(: *sigh* :)
You represent... apathy.
You represent... apathy.
You don't really show any emotion. You can be
considered cruel and cold, but you just don't
really care about anything. This is just the
way you are... you're quite a challenge to get
close to, and others may perceive you as

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

I am a toaster!

what kitchen utensil are YOU?

Angel-of-Death Goth
Angel Goth -- Something about the fallen angels
calls to you. You might even name your first
child Lucifer, regardless of sex.

Which Gothic Stereotype Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

4 not real | & you can't save me

Woohu.com | Random Journal