:: 2004 30 September :: 4.56 pm

I knew how it felt to be another one in need
Of someone to show the way
Until you saw a part of me that nobody else could see
And my life hasn't been the same

You make me feel lucky as I can be
You make me feel lucky as I can be

Before I couldn't get a break
Never had a chance to make the impressions I want to
But now it falls right into place
When I get to see your face
Then there's nothing that I can't do

You make me feel lucky as I can be
You make me feel lucky as I can be

No more dark days, only sun rays
No more hard ways with you today

You make me feel
You make me feel lucky as I can be
Lucky as I can be
Lucky as I can be

1 rays shine | Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 29 September :: 4.45 pm

ok i have to give the award for best comment to a friend of mine... i was thinking about buying this girl sumn and he looks at me and goes, ben you cant buy love, only sex, and the sex thats bought at your price range, you dont want.

i almost fell over just the tone of his voice and his actions made it so funny

4 rays shine | Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 28 September :: 5.52 pm

It's coming up on a year... ive been single for a long time, i keep telling myself im looking for that one girl that knocks me off my feet, ive got a couple of friends that im really close to, but i wouldnt feel comfortable in a relationship with them.. im starting to think shes not out there, that maybe i was meant to be alone... or maybe a relationship isnt whats in store for my life right now... i duno, it just gets to me...

5 rays shine | Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 26 September :: 9.44 pm

what makes talking to people on the internet so easy compaired to real life?? i mean i had a 2 and a half hour conversation with a girl that in real life i would studder in every sentence... i dont get it, i mean its weird... we talked about everything from sports, to her family, to mine, to her bf, to everything, paintball inculded, and believe u me shes not the paintballing type... i just dont understand, but its cool, cuz so many people are a blast to talk to, when you dont studder alot lol

4 rays shine | Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 26 September :: 6.08 pm

You will realease your life
Forgetting what's forsaken the reason why
You are alone again
You will believe the lie
Judging from what you've taken
You breathe, alive
You are alone again

From the heart of darkness
You call to me
Spirit racing on
There is nothing I can do
For you are next to no one

You will release your life
Joining with the goddamned world
Of the dead and the lonely
You'll never leave alive
Now do you think you're too damn good
For the killing kind

You will release your life
forgetting what's forsaken
You breathe, alive
You are alone again

You will begin to cry
Hearing the silence breaking
You breathe, alive
But you are alone again

From the heart of darkness
You call to me
Spirit racing on
There is nothing I can do
For you are next to no one

You will release your life
Joining with the goddamned world
Of the dead and the lonely
You'll never leave alive
Now do you think you're too damn good
For the killing kind

You will release your life
Joining with the goddamned world
Of the dead and the lonely
You'll never leave alive
Now do you think you're too damn good
For the killing kind

You will release your life
forgetting what's forsaken
You breathe, alive
You are alone again

You will release your life
Joining with the goddamned world
Of the dead and the lonely
You'll never leave alive
Now do you think you're too damn good
For the killing kind

You will release your life
Joining with the goddamned world
Of the dead and the lonely
You'll never leave alive
Now do you think you're too damn good
For the killing kind

Nothing I can do (x2)

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

long and repetative, but still very very good, sad, but.... not... i duno, i just love it, thought id share it with you, again sorry of its length.

Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 15 September :: 5.00 pm

Rise
Throw away
The charade of your life
Let the flame of my heart
Burn away
Your complacence tonight
I command you to rise
Wash away
The decay of your life
Feel the light of your eyes
Find the way
Through the darkness tonight
Fearing no one

Do you really think I covet like you do

Come, take me away
Remove the fear from my eyes
Feel the flame of my heart
Burning away
All conversation tonight
Hearing no one

Am I precious to you now

Now rise
Turn away
From the shame of your life
Feel the light from my eyes
Offering
Consolation tonight
Fearing no one

Do you really think I covet like you do

Come, take me away
Remove the fear from my eyes
Feel the flame of my heart
Burning away
All conversation tonight
Hearing no one

Now, I cannot stop this
Pure emotion
Falling from my eyes
You are vindicating
Liberating
Saviors of my soul

Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 15 September :: 4.21 pm

i duno what ive been feeling lately, ive wanted to talk about it with people, but i cant find the words... and i dont know who to talk to...

im really not good around people... i just dont know...

1 rays shine | Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 6 September :: 10.44 am

weekend was fun, ill sum it up in a bunch of words that will make you go " what the hell was he thinking"

jumped 40 feet into the water, could have costed me 250 bucks but didn't

did a bunch of wreckless car stunts

everyone i hung out with got drunk and things just got weird

oh and im thinking about cutting my hair

5 rays shine | Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 16 August :: 4.39 pm

^.^ it was sooo great to see so many people today, i had a blast!

1 rays shine | Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 15 August :: 5.59 pm

4h was a blast, but its good to be home...

monday- breed class ( my rabbit took third place out of his breed)/ helped out in the horse barn

tuesday- showmanship(didnt place but it was fun because out teacher for rabbits is like 50 prolly... so we turned his hat sideways, it was hillarioius, he looked good in it, anyway afterwards we went over to dog agility and saw bens sister, they have a cute dog, anyway the 3 of us hung out for a few mins then she left

wed- not much happend at all so i sat around and helped in the horse barn, meet a few people and helped some people clean their horses.

thurs- helped out some of the younger rabbit people with their showmanship, watched alot of horse contesting and got really into it so my parents said i could show my horse in contesting next year, so i get to be a cowboy ^.^ lol

fri- carnival rides, put it simply the highlight of that was scareing the crap out of a girl on the zipper got some people wet with water ballons, played some chess and went undefeated in 7 games

sat- helped carla with her costume class, she was zoro so i decided to be a captive, she had me in a nuse and i had the cut in z on my back and i lead her into the arena, we took 3rd, but only because they give the high awards to the little kids anyway packed up and left for home and slept a long long time

it was fun, but its good to be home

1 rays shine | Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 7 August :: 11.02 pm

i know im not ganna be here, so i thought id just say right now, welcome home katie! i hope you get to read this, if not please pass on a message to her that i miss her and i hope i see her soon.

se ya'll in a week

1 rays shine | Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 7 August :: 3.40 pm

well tomorow ima be gone for a week at the 4-h fairgrounds in lowel woooooooooooooo!!!! wish me and my rabbit luck

2 rays shine | Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 28 July :: 11.55 pm

i worked at my church today and i helped out with the 4th-5th-6th grader kids at the bible study and there so much fun. its kinda weird that i have so much fun with these little kids, but i had a really good time. volenteering is fun ^.^

Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 26 July :: 8.42 pm

i got a new sword and it has spanish on it, i duno if anyone could translate it but it says

"at peligro no tearrojes procura ser moderado porque una ves ensartado no te aflijas nite aflojes"

2 rays shine | Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 24 July :: 8.44 pm

Don't insult me, if you don't like who i am then just leave me alone.

3 rays shine | Bring a ray of hope...