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2004 25 April :: 4.43 pm
honestly, i love kids. some of my 27 cousins are over my house right now- all under the age of 5. two five year olds, one three and one two..... victoria is five and i havn't seen her in over a year, and guess who she was asking for as soon as she came to our house?? ME <3. i love that, i am like their favorite cousin and cling to me so much, but i love it. seeing a cute kid warms my heart up so much.
i used to work in a day care center, for about three years. working with children is the only thing i am good at. that is why i want to be a social worker when i am older. i want to help little defensless children. the world is a fucked up place and i hate how kids so young are involvied with it. so, i am goign to be broke forever, and i will prbably be depressed too, b/c i know you can't save every child so social workers get bummed about that. but even if i only help one person, it makes me being here worth while.
halla back |
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2004 25 April :: 3.43 pm
"you suck"
oo man. grad night was friday. disney was awesome, hardly any lines- and lots of cute people from all over. but the bus ride sucked, so i couldn't fall asleep on the way home, and then i had moi z fest, so i basiclaly didnt slleep for two days. good stuff
last night was weird. i went to the show, and then to kerry's house. it was fun, everyone was drinking and smoking and eating burgers, ribs, and hot dogs (seriously, i am so high class, i could eat that meal for the rest of my life). and he was being nice, and it was nice. but every time he would say something nice, i would just remember how he isn't always like that, and that he can/ has hurt me. and my guard stays up. i like it better this way, at least i know i am not all emo over him anymore. i hated feeling like that towards him. i was too open to get stabbed. but last night was fun, tickle wars and such- and i know i do still like him, but it's just a little like- it's not the kind where he is capable of hurting me anymore. it's just all fun
2 hallas |
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2004 22 April :: 1.12 pm
:: Mood: groggy
:: Music: our lady peace...fucking amazing
stealing julias idea that was already stolen from greg...:
sweetness:
comfy jeans and white belts
a big comfy bed and no time to wake up
when boys think i am older
peanut butter and marshmellow fluff sandwiches
the beach
making gay poems
watching movies and a someone next to you
laying around the house all day and never getting dressed after a week of work
hearing nice things every once in a while.
reef sandals
snapple peach tea
buying a new cd and playing it over and over again
guys with tatoos
going to shows and getting all gross and sweaty
when an insanely hot guy that i was to nervous to go up and talk to, asks for my number
my dog buddy
now fo the bad:
looking at ex guys and thinking "what the fuck was i thinking?"- there are a lot of em
always wondering who and where my dad is
having two jobs and working 7 days a week,fuck that shit
i hate wellington chicks- they're all the same
gum- weird as it is, i hate it
garlic breath-pucker up ;)
short shorts
guys who check themselves out more often then i do
high schoolers
vodka-argg gross
my car- it is goign to die soon
getting into a band and then a few months later, everyone and their fucking mom loves them.
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2004 21 April :: 11.23 am
i don't know...i decided...right this moment, that i am happy... life could be worse. if the only thing i have to complain about is how i have no ones hand to hold..then i am just like every other damn teenage girl with no real problems. i'm good
5 hallas |
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2004 18 April :: 10.22 pm
this is cute, but when a guy goes emo too fast, it kinda scares me. ahhhhhh!
WiNTERZ ADAM: fuckface <7
HopeGetsYouDown: awwwwwwww
HopeGetsYouDown: lol
WiNTERZ ADAM: you do know how to give ppl a smile
WiNTERZ ADAM: something about you
WiNTERZ ADAM: the way you talk it tingles
WiNTERZ ADAM: the moment i saw you
WiNTERZ ADAM: my hart stoped
WiNTERZ ADAM: and my body grew intense
WiNTERZ ADAM: comeback to me my love!
HopeGetsYouDown: you are too good at saying smooth things
WiNTERZ ADAM: i admire your flattery
WiNTERZ ADAM: thank you
HopeGetsYouDown: lol
WiNTERZ ADAM: i personally enjoy you around
HopeGetsYouDown: and that was sweet
HopeGetsYouDown: haha, someone came up to me last night and told me i was the sex
HopeGetsYouDown: lol
WiNTERZ ADAM: haha
WiNTERZ ADAM: you're more than sex
WiNTERZ ADAM: you're beautiful
1 halla |
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2004 18 April :: 1.04 pm
:: Mood: hung over
yesturday was a crazy day....
i was flipping through a magazine at work yestuday and saw this add with a chick who had really cute/cool hair. (i just got a sudden craving for boston market...fuck ya- i'm going)...and i was like... fuck it, i'm getting my hair cut. it was totally out of the blue. it REALLY short (for me) and it flips out all over...it's insanely cute...all the boys want me ;)...j/k.
i hung out with renee last night, we went to a show at p.i.s...and this chick she knows who was in town from cali met up with us. SHE IS INSANE!!!!!! we drove out to west palm for this party...it was wellington high's prom, so we hit it up. not too fun, just chill...then we left and went to my friend seth's house.... played one of those drinking card games..same one i played friday....it's fun, and i like to chug, so i do well.
so...this girl (michelle), she is only 15..JUST turned 15 in January(but she seriously looks about 18-HOT)- and she took a 19 years olds virginity last night. i shit you not. her b/f has cheated on her twice, and it's not like she's a slut-she's only been with one guy, so i don't understand why she was so cool with banging some guy she just met like an hour earlier. but they did.... i think she just wants something to throw in her b/fs face..
she is dumb for not leaving his as...girls are so stupid...
1 halla |
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2004 16 April :: 1.00 pm
:: Mood: A D D
:: Music: smashing pumpkins...
Standing on the edge of morning
scent of sex and new found glory
playing as she's pulling back her hair
she drives away she's feeling worthless
used again but nothings different
she'd stay the night but knows he doens't care
home by three to deafening quite
the porch lights off guess they forgot it
she'd cry herself to sleep but she don't care
and she wants to be a model
she wants to hear she's beautiful
she's beautiful
chorus:
i want to save you
i want to save you
i need you, to save me too
i want to save you
she dreams that he'll come by the store
she prays for days when boys mean she's protected
and she wants someone to see her
she needs to hear she's beautiful
she's beatiful
let me save you
*sometimes i need someone to say you'll be alright, what's on your mind???
3 hallas |
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2004 14 April :: 9.48 pm
guys..bad new.... fat mike is dead! only like three days and i already managed to kill him some how....i'm a horrible person. they're suppossed to live for liek 100 years. GREAT
2 hallas |
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2004 12 April :: 2.10 pm
:: Music: yellow card, i'm punk pop to the max today ;)
can't wait until tomarrow
I was just talking to Greg online and we're hanging out tomarrow...hitting up Miami Beach..good times, good times. I'm going to have to get a pass out of class tomarrow early so that I can get all the way down there. It really sucks that I have to go to work tomarrow.
It's official...I want to move in September. I don't know where yet, I don't know with whom, all I know, is that Florida is just too boring and filled with retired people for me. So if anyone has an out of state residence and wants my hot ass sharing your bed, I'm game.
Oh yeah, and I got a turtle named Fat Mike (NOFX) today. Idaho gave it to me, i heart the bitch.
2 hallas |
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2004 12 April :: 11.56 am
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: so co
I wish I weren't so mature for my age. I wish I could have every other high school chicks juvenile way of thinking. I am the only person I know who can honestly say I've never had a first love, I've never had that relationship to look back and say...I learned something from that....I've really never even been totally infatuated with anyone. I know that there is no point at this age.
What will any current "love" mean ten years from now. NOTHING. So why bother crying and trying so hard for something that you know will eventually lead to nothing?
You see couples all the time that are so cute and pulling the whole "S love you more, no I love you more" deal. It it's sad because they look so happy at that exact moment...And you know in just a little amount of time they'll do something to hurt each other and all those good times will mean nothing. The quote of my life:
NOTHING GOLD CAN STAY....
But I really wish I didn't think like that. I wish I could get all emo over a guy, I wish I could let myself feel that emotion....Get the tingles, fall hopelessly in love with someone. Maybe I haven't met the right guy, maybe I just need to let myself go. I have spent so long building this wall around myself, that I don't think I could cave it in even if I wanted to. But every time I meet a cool guy circumsatnce runs intervention so I never really even get to find out.
And it's not like I don't date. I do, a lot. This year I have had a different guy every week...Sometimes more, but I am so damn picky, after like 2 days, I"m just like AHH, get away from me. I think I need to stop looking for perfection. Once again, I don't know!
6 hallas |
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2004 11 April :: 11.40 pm
:: Music: thrice, the illusion of safety.
everyone who reads this should check out www.zoloftherockandrolldestroyer.com. this band rocks. they're from philly and have this cute little chick singer and they're very unique. i saw them tonight. i hung out with greg... the key boarder and tambourine man. we walked to get icecream and he seemed like a sweetie, holding the doors and asking if i wanted anything. he's insanly cute too.. he was cool to talk to, figures every guy i meet lives about a hundred zip codes away..... isn't life ironic?
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2004 11 April :: 2.12 am
something corp.
tonight was the yellowcard, something corp., factor, and sleeping at last show at ovation. good shyt right there. the place was packed, and i have to be honest, i didn't really like yellowcard all that much until i saw them tonight, and they seemed pretty cool so now i do. go ahead...make fun of me.
there were SOO many people there, it was crazyness, i was soaked with sweat, and the only gross thing about that is knowing that most of it wasn't mine. but hey, that's the whole point of going to shows. to get all gross and have a good time. i sure did tonight.
i bought both something corp. cd's, the factor and sleeping at last cd..and the two whole yellowcard cds.... 6 total, i know, i know...big balla. but they're cheaper at shows, so i always buy them there instead the stores.
after the show, (i looked like butt might i add, hair up and gross with sweat and all that jazz), ashley and i went to meet up wtih julia and chris at boca ale house... i thought, i dont have to be cute, it's just them. HA. soo many people were there.. i'm not even wearing a bra b/c it was killing me and it was soaked so i took it off first thing after the how..i felt so nasty. but whatever, i'm allowed to have my ugly moments.
it was an awesome night but, i have to wake up early tomarrow (damn holidays) so peace
1 halla |
halla back |
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2004 7 April :: 10.14 pm
:: Mood: crazy
:: Music: OUTKASTTTTT
tonight i was a gangsta
First rule in this thang, never let 'em see you sweat!
Never let 'em be a threat and your feelings you must protect 'em!
As well as your rectum! Must keep self out of harm, out of danger's way
Let strangers play while you graduate and move on!
True happiness is not acquired and you won't find it for sale
i saw big boi from Outkast tonight at FAU. awesome...all i wanted to do was dance my ass off. it was a drag because the people i was with didn't want to move at all....so what did i do you ask? i jumped in a circle of black people and bumped and grinded... lol
that's what living is all about right?
shows this week......
tonight, outkast
friday.....ffts
saturday.....yellowcard
sunday....ffts AGAIN
4 shows this week...wow...
J to the J just told me about w A Static Lullaby,The Bled, Christiansen, Lonely Kings, Classic Case, on may 4th..can't wait.. whoop whoop.
may 5th is motion city soundttrack
i am going broke......
~oh yeah, and i changed my own oil today.. i was every car lovers dream come true.. lathered in motor oil and greased up... ooo yeah.
3 hallas |
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2004 7 April :: 3.56 pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: haha, you don't want to know
why do we all end up alone?
why do we always have to find our way back home?
1 halla |
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2004 7 April :: 1.08 am
off the hizzoookkk
seriously, i have been trying to get my paper done all night and i keep getting side-tracked. i talked to a myspace boy tonight. he seems cool, i'm gonna go to visit him in orlando some time. road trip all the way- even if it is alone.
AWWW.... my best friend pete just called me from GA, i havn't talked to him for months!!! he was my camp buddy for two summers. it's so good to hear from him. i heart him like a fat kid loves cake!
sean the hammer also called, and mike...
does the whole world know i don't sleep?
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