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to this 4/4 beat, I'm in time with you <3

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:: 2011 13 July :: 11.47am

Am I really a toxic person in your eyes because I told you embarrising and regretable actions that I am now trying to reconcile?
Am I really not worth your friendship because I've made mistakes in my life and I recognize them?
Am I really worth being dropped in probably one of the most emotionally unstable, intimidating, and uncompromising periods of my life?

Thank you... for not being there when I need you the most.

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:: 2011 13 May :: 4.04pm
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: I Will Follow by Chris Tomlin

This is my anthem
I'm making strides to You. I'm doing the best I can to be the best that You want me to be. I'm not letting my choices decide where I go in life... that's the desires of my heart and Your job, now.
Proverbs 16:3 "Commit your activities to the Lord, and your plans will be achieved." Finally I see that ALL my plans may not be Yours, but when I seek you; when I commit everything I do... when I trust in you alone, it will be through You that my plans become achieved.
You are awesome and powerful... beautiful and just.
It's in your name I praise, Jesus. Amen.

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:: 2011 11 May :: 12.13pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: Anna Molly (Acoustic) by Incubus

It's been a few days:
I'll be better, I know I will. I just need to focus on God and on myself. I don't feel great about my decision, but I know that it was the best decision I have ever made in a long time.
Just need lots of prayer.

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:: 2011 5 May :: 11.33pm

Are my desires of my heart paving my future, or are my choices?

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:: 2011 20 April :: 11.44pm

Radical by David Platt
"We are not saved from our sins because Jesus was falsely tried by Jewish and Roman officials and sentenced by Pilate to die. Neither are we saved because Roman persecutors thrust nails into the hands and feet of Christ... All God's holy wrath and hatred toward sin and sinners, stored up since the beginning of the world, was poured out on Jesus... This is the gospel."

I paraphrased his words, and sorta ran them together a little bit... but damn it he's right: We are not saved from our sins because of what Jesus did on the cross, we are saved because of what he took on our behalf. God's anger and wrath and just judgment was poured onto Jesus in that moment, and that's what saved us, because Jesus Became sin; moreover, that is why God turned his back from Jesus. David Platt can say it better than I.

"Picture Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane. As he kneels before his Father, drops of sweat and blood fall together from his head. Why is he in such agony and pain? The answer is not because he is afraid of the crucifixion. He is not trembling because of what the Roman soldiers are about to do to him.
"Since that day, countless men and women in the history of Christianity have died for their faith. Some of them were not just hung on a cross; they were burned there. Many of them went to their crosses singing.
"One Christian in India, while being skinned alive, looked at his persecutors and said, 'I thank you for this. Tear off my old garment, for I will soon put on Christ's garment of righteousness.'
"As he prepared to head to his execution, Christopher Love wrote a note to his wife, saying, 'Today they will sever me from my physical head, but they cannot sever me from my spiritual head, Christ.' As he walked to his death, his wife applauded while he sang of glory.
"Did these men and women in Christian history have more courage than Christ himself? why was he trembling in that garden, weeping and full of anguish? We can rest assured that he was not a coward... Instead he was a savior about to endure divine wrath.
"Listen to his words: 'My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me.' The 'cup' is not a reference to a wooden cross; it is a reference to divine judgment. It is the cup of God's wrath. This is what Jesus is recoiling from in the garden...
"What happened at the cross was not primarily about nails being thrust into Jesus' hands and feet but about the wrath due your sin and my sin being thrust upon his soul. In that holy moment, all the righteous wrath and justice of God due us came rushing down like a torrent on Christ himself. Some say, 'God looked down and could not bear to see the suffering that the soldiers were inflicting on Jesus, so he turned away.' But this is not true. God turned away because he could not beat to see your sin and my sin on his Son."

Wow... Changes everything doesn't it?

This Easter, really think about what it means to be forgiven... and what it really means to be saved from sin and death.
This Easter, question your salvation in the sense to test it, tried and true.
This Easter..... really know what it means to be a Christian, take up your cross, and do something.

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