x-cosmic-sunday-x - Woohu.com http://www.woohu.com/~x-cosmic-sunday-x Woohu / Woohu.com http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=610027 Your love means everything to me. I've been so depressed lately. I can say I don't know why all I want but I'm pretty positive I do know why. I'm so afraid of being in love because I'm so afraid of being hurt again. It's a pain thats almost unbearable and I don't want to go through it again. And its to hard to believe anyone regardless of what they say. I know you can tell me you wont hurt me or that you love me. But theres almost nothing you can say that hasn't been said before. I know you've never given me any reason not to trust you, and for the most part I do trust you I just can't fully believe that I'm not going to get hurt. Why is the bad so much easier to believe? At the same time, the way I feel will eventually push you away and I'll end up hurting myself. And as much as I wish I could hold back, I can't help how I feel and I've already fallen in love with you, so what do I do? Even if I tell myself not to worry and just be happy, its constantly in the back of my mind. I know I'll drive myself mental trying to figure this one out. And I probably wont get anywhere. Forget the risk. Take the fall. If it's what you want It's worth it all... http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=610027 Thu, 31 Jul 2008 15:09:08 EDT http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=609891 To: get.your.gun From: BankShot (Jesse) Date: Thu Jul 24, 2008 10:26 pm Subject: Re: No Subject thank you http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=609891 Fri, 25 Jul 2008 01:31:11 EDT http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=609765 I need you like a heart needs a beat. Tommorow is mine and Gregs two months. This past month went by really fast. Work is going well my hours aren't that great but atleast im making money :) I've been feeling really sick a lot lately. I think I just need vitamins or something. I'm looking after this ladies dogs while shes away for the weekend and one of them has to stay in a crate and so obviously this thing doesn't want to get in and Greg was helping me, but really he was doing all the work and I was laughing so hard I almost pissed myself. Were celebrating my gradnparents 60th wedding anniversary tommorow.. I can't imagine being with some for 60 years thats insane. I hope I find a love like theirs. & I believed in everything you said to me. http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=609765 Sat, 19 Jul 2008 00:25:04 EDT http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=609650 We get the same twelve months to fuck things up year after year. I feel really ill right now. Me and Greg are arguing. Uh today was okay. Woke up hella early and went out to Sooke with Greg, Brett and Jada to play paintball! We met up with some other people, some of them use to work at Canadian tire and there was like 10 of us so it was really good. It hurt like a motherfuck though and it was bloody hott out. I also really suck at it. After that me Brett, Greg and Jada went out to Sooke potholes and swam, we went to the part where there was like no one and when we got there the people were just leaving. It was so nice and beautiful. But I was climbing this rock and it was really slippery and it was a verticle climb and I got maybe about a foot up it and slid right down and bruised up my leg and arm and cut my knee. But all in all it was a rather eventful day full of painful yet good times haha. I seriously wanna get off this fucking Island and just be away from everyone though. I'm so sick of living here, Jodi always has stupid people sleepover and shes such a huge lazy slob, I'm sick of living in this. ARGH. TOTALLY FORGOT ITS POSTSECERT DAY. Or was... up until like an hour ago http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=609650 Mon, 14 Jul 2008 04:06:24 EDT http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=609548 Count your blessings now. So I finally put my two weeks in at Canadian Tire on the 2nd. I got a job at the video store. It's a pretty chill job, other than learning all the computer stuff and when it gets hella busy. Otherwise I love it, and I don't have to wear a stupid uniform and I get paid more, and the hours are better. Things with Greg are really good. I'm lovin' life right now :) Who knew? http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=609548 Wed, 09 Jul 2008 03:39:16 EDT http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=609321 Let me go, I'm not done. Well I can't believe it's been six years. I remember it all so clearly, even though I wish I could just erase it. I miss you so much it's unbelievable. I love you. Other than that, I've been so depressed lately. I don't know whats wrong with me. I'm having severe mood swings and just can't get past it. I keep thinking just give it time, but I'm sick of always waiting for time to change things. And yes, I have tried changing things myself, but I always come back to this. & I will try to fix you. http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=609321 Sat, 28 Jun 2008 02:21:17 EDT http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=609209 Woooo just got back from camping! I'm not really happy to be back. I had a wonderful time http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=609209 Mon, 23 Jun 2008 15:00:56 EDT http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=609112 If you love me, wont you let me know. Wow it's been a long time since I filled out the mood and music part. The grad dinner dance was on Saturday, and it kinda sucked to say the least. I think theres to much hype about it all anyways, everyone claims it will be an amazing night that you'll never forget, but I completly disagree. It wasnt completly bad though, I loved dressing up and I'm so glad I brought Kisa as my date. Our ride was a 1926 for convertible which I loved. Everyone looked amazing as well. Me and Kisa didn't stay long, we went to Bretts around 9:30 for a bit and then my mom came to get us, we sat at home until 1 and then went to a party, stayed for about five minutes because it was pretty boring and then went back to Bretts, I didn't drink and I was pretty tired and started getting really sick around 3 so after awhile Greg just took me home. It was an alright night but nothing amazing. I think me and Greg might take off camping this weekend, the weather isn't suppose to be to nice but hopefully it isn't to bad. I think it would be hella fun =) I desperatly want to make the most of this summer, considering it will probably be the last time I get two months off, once I start working full time and going to college i'll be lucky if I get two weeks. Speeking of which I also need to start looking for a new job, I'm just so bored of where I work, and I don't want to have to dread every day I work. http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=609112 Wed, 18 Jun 2008 19:16:20 EDT http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=608932 And our lives are forever changed; It's been awhile. I graduated tonight. I never ever thought I'd make it through, but here I am. I'm so overwhelmed with emotion and it all seems so surreal. Highschool gave me some of the best and worst years of my life, not to mention the unforgettable expierneces as well as ups and downs. The past four years have been the most crucial in helping me become the person I am now. Right now I don't really know what to think. I'm scared, I'm happy, and above all I am so proud of myself, and it feels amazing. I've been stressed to the max the past few weeks, even though it may not show. It's drastically affected my sleeping patterns though. I also haven't been able to cry, which is deffinatly the strangest thing for me. All I want to do is just break down and let out all this emotion, but no matter what I do or how hard I try I just can't do it. I get teary eyed once in awhile but still have yet to shed a tear, which is suprising considering I thought I would ball my eyes out at grad, but I'm sure it will come eventually. I'm so glad that it's all over with. All thats left is the grad dinner dance on Saturday which I'm stoked for. Other than that theres a lot I could write about but I'm exhausted. Me and Greg drove up to Lake Cowichan on Sunday, we didn't leave until 3 in the aftenoon, so we only stayed up there for a little bit. I met his Grandma and she is so nice and cute! I also met his Uncle Dave who is also really nice. I've been having lots of fun with Greg, I love just being with him he makes me really happy. And once again he is someone I can be with but I don't feel like I need to spend all my time with him, he has his own life and I have mine, and that really makes me value our time together even though we do spend a fair amount of time together. Anyways, I'll have to try and update more regularly, it's just been really busy lately. GRAD 08 BABY! Finally over! http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=608932 Tue, 10 Jun 2008 04:52:22 EDT http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=608544 Everything is beautiful when I am with you. Worked Thursday, Friday & Saturday. Saturday went to Jason's and watched UFC with Greg, Jason and Johnathon. Then they all went to see the strippers and I hung out with Kisa. Then we picked Brett and Greg up from the bar and stayed at Bretts and didn't get home until 5:30. Slept till 1, took Kisa home and hung out with Greg. We played frisbee and went to my cousins then went and hung out around his house, and sat on this huge rock, it was really nice. I love spending time with him. I trip over everything you say; http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=608544 Mon, 26 May 2008 03:50:35 EDT http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=608442 It's never to late; Went to Grans and Gramps for lunch yesterday. It was nice. Then I hung out with Catherine a bit, I'm glad she moved back here :) Then hung out with Greg, and he met all three of my cousins. It feels like hes really skeptical about our relationship working out, which sucks. But I guess only time will tell. I really like him, hes just differnt than the people I'm use to. http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=608442 Thu, 22 May 2008 17:42:43 EDT http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=608381 Still I hear you say, you want to end your life. Greg and I are dating now =) http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=608381 Tue, 20 May 2008 03:10:54 EDT http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=608353 Summertime & the livin's easy, Work on Saturday sucked balls. It was so busy and seemed to drag on forever. After work Jada and I decided to take off camping. So we packed up and headed out. It didn't take long because we only went to goldstream and we were there by 8:30. The only campsite left was a double so we were sharing it with other people, and they arrived shortly after us. They were German and didn't speak English well, and they stayed in there RV the entire time, why would you pay $24.00 to just sit in your RV. Anyways we set everything up and got a nice little fire going, and I just felt so accomplished... until I locked the keys in the trunk of the car. At first I didn't know weather to cry or laugh, so I laughed. And we walked down to the ranger station but there was really nothing they could do. I called my mom but she had been drinking and couldn't bring me the spare keys, so fortunatly my neighbour was home and was able to get up to get me them, so things could have been a lot worse. That night we went to be around 12:30 after chillin around the fire. We got up at 8:30, which is pretty early for me, but we got up and ate and went to Goldstream park. We walked around there and went down to the nature hut and it was all good. Then we walked back and were gonna hike Mt.Finlayson but decided against it after running up like 100 of these hella steep stairs. It was pretty dope though. We headed back to our campsite and it was only 10:45. So we made lunch and sat around the fire, then I had a little nap. We smoked some weed and just chilled. A lot of little funny things kept happening. And the entire time it felt like such a good expierence, cause I've never been camping without my family before. But I also felt like this wierd sense of confusion but in a funny way. It was all good so we decided to stay for another night. Well it was about 11:30 and we had sat around the rest of the day and I looked over and saw the biggest spider I have ever seen in my life, the thing was masive, so being me I freaked and was screaming and Jada wouldnt kill it so I tried to but it got away, and it ran off towards our tent. Well I'm hella terrified of spiders so I refused to sleep in the tent, so we hauled all our shit out of the tent and into the car and were going to sleep there. Then our new camping neighbours rolled up and started a fire and were getting all settled, I have no clue why you would show up at like 11:30 at night but oh well. I couldn't sleep and I was pretty cranky, which made Jada cranky. So finally I just took down the tent and we drove home. I know that sounds so pathetic but oh well. I had a really good time, it was so chill up there and I was so carefree for the most part. I also only got hurt twice! I cut my finger but I can barely notice it now. And I dropped the cooloer lid on my thumb and it cut all underneath the nail and bruised it, it actually really really hurts. Other than that it's all good. And all the park ranger people were so nice! The weather was pretty decent to :) And I thought about Greg a lot whiles I was up there. Other than camping I totally forgot I have a provincial on Tuesday, so I think I'm hella fucked for that. I'll have to study my ass off.. or just wing it and if I fail i'll have to take it again. It's weird cause last month at this time I was in Vancouver, and it's just weird that I've gone on little trips around the same time each month. I like it though, it always clears my head and helps me focus, even though this camping thing was only a day. You've got this new head filled up with smoke; http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=608353 Mon, 19 May 2008 05:27:23 EDT http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=608271 I like what you've done with yourself kid. Don't compromise it for the world. ... A complete stranger said that to me and it totally made my day. http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=608271 Thu, 15 May 2008 14:24:23 EDT http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=608154 I miss you more than words can say. "The ones we love never leave us" Standing at your grave wishing you were still here is almost unbearable. I love you. http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=608154 Mon, 12 May 2008 01:25:21 EDT