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2004 18 July :: 10.13 pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: yellowcard-ocean avenue
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so i had my entry for yesterday + then aaron came on + started talking to me + he pissed me off so bad that i just closed it out. man i hate him, he is such a lying piece of shit. it all started way back in march when HE came onto me + told me he had feelings for me + all this other shit. then he had the nerve to lie to kyle + say i came on to him. so i got mad yesterday + he started talking to me + i flipped out + most likely made a fool of myself. he started say ya kno your the one that came onto me + i cant control what kyle believes + your just causing more problems. so i was like steamin' now + i'm screaming at him telling him i hate him + i can't believe him + kyle is trying to calm me down + then finally i just blocked him + i never wanna talk to him again! oh + then at then end of the convo he has the nerve to ask me if we are friends. uhh, sorry bud but i don't wanna be your friend. i definitley think he uses kyle because kyle can drive, because he uses all of his other friends for rides. i think he is arrogant + he thinks he's all hot shit because he's friends with kyle, he acts like an ass around kyle. he also acts like tough shit because he's friends w/ tommy. god, he talks about him all the freakin' time. ahhh, so anyway *l0l*
talked to kyle half the nite last nite because i was so mad + shaky. so then i talked to him when i woke up, he went to work + i didn't do too much all day. it was raining like all day + that sucked. my mom + i had made lunch + then she slept during the afternoon cus she was so tired. she woke up + went with my dad + then when they came hom my mom + i went up to the hospital to see my grandmother. she's getting better, but she's in a lot of pain. i hate seeing her like that, it's so hard for me. she is like one of the few people that is always happy to see me + i dunno, there's just something about her that can always cheer me up. i don't kno what i'd do without her=/ i hope she gets better soon tho=) she can't really do much, like she doesn't have a car anymore because she can't go out, she's not doing to well but she's here + im happy for that. after we came home from the hospital i ate dinner, got a bath + then kyle called. we just got off the phone a little big ago + now im about to go to bed. pretty early for me, but i needta get some stuff done tomorrow so i wanna get up early, + i'm really tired since i haven't slept much in the past 2 days. i'll write again tomorrow.<3 =)
1 dREAMed*.\\ |
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2004 16 July :: 11.00 pm
:: Mood: tired
//.dead tired
this won't be too long, not that anyone readd=0) haha, this is kinda my first public entry, i had mostly private ones..buut anyway. kyle came over today + we went to cabelas with my parent's + i got this huge siberian huskie stuffed dog=) tis *so* cute=0) *l0l* so then we came home + were pretty tired so just kinda layed around together + then his mom came to pick him up. she needed the car so he couldn't drive himself ((they are in the process of buying him a car, but he's being picky)) *l0l* my grandma is in the hospital again=/ i'll explain more about that tomorrow. im really tired, but i wanted to make an entry. im headed off to bed.<3
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2004 15 June :: 6.05 pm
:: Mood: hurt
:: Music: usher- u got it bad
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i havent been on here in a while. im in philly staying with my sister, but i can't wait to go home. i really wanted to go home and see kyle, but i just found out he went to jamie's today to fix her computer. which would be fine, but he told me he was taking aaron home + last week he told me he wasn't gonna go. i mean it jsut upsets me that he can't tell me this kinda stuff, i mean he has to fix her computer okay but why lie to me about it? it hurts so bad. i just keep shaking + i honestly dont trust him. she is so much prettier than me + since i came here he might wanna get back at me or something, or still get back at me for the whole aaron thing. i love him a lot, but i dont want this anymore. i cant take the lies. im gonna finally get out + if he tries to make it up to me i just might forgive him. if he came to me in person i would be happy + probley forgive him. then at least i would have a chance of telling if he's lying or not. i mean he's alone with another girl at her house, anything could happen. i really just wanna break up + get it over with. i wish i were at home so i could cry over + over again. i can't wait to go home + just be by myself. i might be back to write more, i dunno what to do.
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