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HEY THERE, i KNOW iTS HARD TO FEEL LiKE i DONT CARE AT ALL. WHERE YOU ARE AND HOW YOU FELL. WiTH THESE LiGHTS OFF AS THESE WHEELS KEEP ROLLiNG ON AND ON. SLOW THiNGS DOWN OR SPEED TEHM UP. NOT ENOUGH OR WAY TOO MUCH. HOW ARE YOU WHEN iM GONE?

 

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AND i CANT MAKE iT ON MY OWN.

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xvivaxlabamxfanx

:: 2006 30 October :: 1.20pm

DRESDENNNNN

2 Are a liar.. + | If I'm just bad news..


xvivaxlabamxfanx

:: 2006 30 October :: 7.17am
:: Mood: giddy
:: Music: DRESDEN DOLLS

BRIGADE
So!! GUESS WHO GOT INTO THE DRESDEN DOLLS CONCERT FOR FREE ON SATURDAY!!?!? [yupp, me!!]

GUESS WHO LOST THEIR VOICE HALF WAY THROUGH THE SHOW [you got it.. it was me..]

AND AND AND AND
GUESS WHO GOT TO GO ON STAGE WITH THE OTHER BRIGADE MEMBERS AND SING BACKUP FOR THE SONG "SING"??? [Okay.. yeah, you got it.. me]

GOD IT WAS FUCKING AMAZING!!!

And it was awesome seeing Hunter, Michelle and Greg again. Thanks Hunter's mom for driving me home!!!!!!

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

If I'm just bad news..


xvivaxlabamxfanx

:: 2006 27 October :: 1.21pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Pink Spiders

William Dean Martin

My Billeh.

I'll write about the concert later when I have time.

If I'm just bad news..


xvivaxlabamxfanx

:: 2006 19 October :: 1.17pm
:: Mood: ecstatic
:: Music: GOOD CHARLOTTE

GOOD CHARLOTTE
GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!! GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!!


I can't say it enough. YAY FOR TOMORROW NIGHT!!!!!
I have to restrain myself from pouncing on Billy >.<
Fifth Good Charlotte concert.
First time meeting them.

GHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I COULDN'T BE ANYMORE EXCITED!!!!!!!!!

SDJGH;AVBWE4UVH8CQAWEO 4;SGPO;DVHWE04;VHE *H4;EWHVGFZE;HRDFBNH54ER564UU4JRT534J564R37UITFRDHN TFDNHFCL BNFDIOYGHRO;BG; ZIBGHYZRD;OGY089 Y;HIFDIL;HSOGYKHVBFUDGH:gh(*$gho:r$egnbsdyogihRPPZDR8E9T7-8&*(^@#%rpgl#:#iht*(#gyhsjdghDSILGHS;OIY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I'm just bad news..


xvivaxlabamxfanx

:: 2006 16 October :: 1.15pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: Good Charlotte!!!

Not a chance what don't you see
1. List some things you want to say to 10 different people but you know you never will.
2. Don't say who they are.
3. Feel free to comment, but don't confirm or answer anything.
4. Never discuss it again
[Stolen From The Allmighty SHELBEH!]


1. I don't get you. You make no fucking sense. We used to be really close but somehow I couldn't see how fake you were, even though it was right in front of my face. You lie like you need it to live, it's annoying. You hang out with all my friends and then falsely turn them against me and I'm left with nothing while you screw them over as well. I hope we never get over this because I know you, you're too stubbourn to see that there is something wrong with YOU.

2. I know we haven't met yet, but you are my best freaking friend in the whole world. I hope you like the birthday present I'm getting you.. I think you will. Hopefully I get to visit you before I go off to college (even though I'm staying home when I go to college... but you know what I mean). Even though you never EVER return my calls, I know that you want to. We're busy people and the time zone thing is hard to work around but we get it eventually.

3. I feel really bad that you got screwed over by someone whom I used to call my best friend. I never thought she was like that, and now I just can't wait until she screws up at what she's in now. I love you like a sister even though we don't that much. I need to call you again soon but now that I have a job it's harder. We have met, but only breifly.. I wish we could have hung out longer and I misses you mucho. We will see each other again, I promise it.

4. That supposed best friend that I had.. thanks for fucking up the only good thing that may have happened to me this summer. Yeah, I still talk to you, but I'm still not completely over what you did to me. I can't wait until you get fucked over and then come running back to everyone.

5. Thanks for fucking with my head. You're a GREAT person (sarcasim). Way to lie about everything and forget what you ever said to me.

6. I'm sorry for what I did to you but I was going through a shitload of stuff and I would have been so dead if what we planned on actually happened. But there's always this coming summer if I get enough money.

7. I would have never expected you to become the person you are now. First you fuck every one of your friends over as soon as you got a boyfriend.. then he cheated on you HOW MANY TIMES? and you STILL got back with him? I'm happy that you guys lasted this long.. if you're even still together. We haven't had a real conversation in over a year and I kind of miss you. But you still piss me off.. what happened to that shit I was supposed to get for my birthday and christmas that you said you were sending? I spent how much fucking money on you that year and what did I get back? NOTHING. Maybe if you stopped doing all those fucking drugs, you'd remember something for once in your fucking life.

8. Ah yes, another person of the "fucking-over-because-of-a-relationship". I'm glad you've stopped cheating on your girlfriends, but I'm not glad that you fucked every single one of your good friends over as soon as you got with who you are now. I miss talking to you, but you're too busy with your WIFE. Way to lie... "we weren't having sex.. we were doing other stuff. we haven't had sex yet"... AND THEN SHE TURNS OUT FUCKING PREGNANT! HA! Have fun with the bitchy mother after birth.

9. I don't have anything to say to you except: Have fun in the rest of your life without me. You screwed yourself over because I don't miss you one bit. I was the best thing to happen to you but you fucked it over. I hope you realize this one day when your new friends fuck YOU over.

10. I like your tounge ring. >.< Now I need to start hooking up with people who have mouth-area piercings. Heheee.


That is all. There are a few more that I could write about.. but I'm done for now. This is it.


I GET TO RAPE BILLY MARTIN WITH MY EYES ON FRIDAY!!!! EEEEK!

4 Are a liar.. + | If I'm just bad news..


xvivaxlabamxfanx

:: 2006 12 October :: 1.08pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: Good Charlotte - Don't Wanna Stop

I'm tired of moving on..
I get to work at the Dresden Dolls concert.

Go me.

If I'm just bad news..


xvivaxlabamxfanx

:: 2006 5 October :: 8.33am
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: Drake Bell

I never thought that it'd be so simple but..

Sexy

So I watched Drake and Josh yesterday and it was one of the new episodes.. yeah, where Josh is like, super skinny now. Well, there was this scene where Drake surprised Josh with backstage passes to Oprah. If you saw that episode, you will know why that scene made me happy. ^_^



Three day weekend. Guess who starts a new job on Saturday?? ME! At FYE in the Concord Mall. I hope if i put a little bit of coverup on my labret retainer, they won't see it 'cause I am NOT taking that out. It's lasted a week without my mother seeing it and I finally got it done. I'm not taking it out. Maybe Hot Topic will call me and give me better hours or something and I'll go work there. Doubt it though. I don't want to get rid of my labret!!!

If I'm just bad news..


xvivaxlabamxfanx

:: 2006 29 September :: 9.09am
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: Keep Your Hands Off My Girl - Good Charlotte

And the record keeps playing the same old song..
I danced in the rain last night.

If I'm just bad news..


xvivaxlabamxfanx

:: 2006 26 September :: 12.52pm
:: Mood: ecstatic
:: Music: Good Charlotte - Keep Your Hands Off My Girl

Let The Record Play
Congratulations! You have won a pair of Meet and Greets from GC
Worldwide for the show at Philadelphia PA Electric Factory on 10.20.06 . You
will need to arrive at the box offices by 6PM and someone will come down
and meet you. You will need to present a valid picture ID.There will be
no formal passes.



The guys look forward to meeting you!

1 Are a liar.. + | If I'm just bad news..


xvivaxlabamxfanx

:: 2006 13 September :: 10.45am
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: Eighteen Visions

..time has made you crazy..
Allright so.. I need to give you people an update.

First off, I almost got into a car accident last week. I came up to a fourway stop sign and there were two SUV thingys at the one and the one guy got there before me so he was supposed to go. Then it's my turn to go so.. I start to go. Well, the SUV behind the first one decided he's going to ignore that the sign tells him to STOP and starts to roll through the intersection (ON HIS CELL PHONE MIGHT I ADD). And I see him and slam my brakes, he slams his brakes and starts yelling at me. AT ME! What did I do wrong? So I yelled back (although my music was so loud you couldn't hear me) and as he decided he would go around my car to where he was going, I flipped him off and the car opposite of me sitting at the stop sign, the driver is laughing her ass off.

That was that. Then I spent my weekend shopping for my mom and trying to get that job at McDonald's. I hung out at Halloween Adventure three days straight and they told me they want me to work there too. Good, I need all that I can get.

Then when I was all done, I went over my grandmoms on Sunday to check my myspace since I hadn't checked it in almost a week. I go to log in.. "invalid e-mail or password". Okay, maybe I spelled it wrong. Try again. "invalid e-mail or password". Wtf? I try about three more times. Then I figure "Let me go to it and see if it's still there." So I type in my url (http://www.myspace.com/stefanishrek) "Invalid friend ID, this user has either deleted their profile or their account has been cancelled." Inside I'm screaming at the top of my lungs. I calm down and figure "hey, they e-mail people when their profiles get cancelled so let me check my e-mail" so I go to login. "Invalid password" I try again incase I hit a wrong key. "invalid password" You have GOT to be kidding me! So I click the "forgot password" link, fill in the info and they e-mail one of my AOL names my new password. I login. No myspace e-mail. I change my password so it can't be hacked into again. Now what really confuses me.. is that I subscribed to AFI's blog on that myspace and I usually don't get notifications for things.. but I got a notification for AFI posting a new blog, so I figured it was a glitch in the system. But now that my profile is supposedly gone, I'm STILL getting notifications for AFI's blog!

To top it all off, I got sick the other day so I've been walking around with the sniffles for the past two days. It makes my septum ring more itchy. >.<

And here comes the money issues. My art teacher just got this thing for a trip to Europe. It's $2000 and it's a week long thing in the summer. I really really really really want to go because I've been telling myself since I was little that I always wanted to go to Europe. I only have $400 to my name right now and when I get a job, I'll be putting around $100/month for car insurance and $100/month for house expenses (i.e. cell phone bill, internet, rest to help my mom). and I doubt I'm going to be making much a month. Hopefully if these two jobs hire me soon I can work every night alternating between them. I need to save almost every penny I get (I'm limiting myself to $30 at the Good Charlotte concert instead of the usual $60 or $70 that I treat myself to. I figure, I saw them four times before, I don't need to spend too much there). Oh and.. DRINKING AGE IS 18!! SENIOR WEEK!!! OH YEAH! I need to go on this trip. I told him that art club should do weekly car washes and bake sales and shit to get as much money as possible. So anyone reading this.. DO NOT BUY ME ANYTHING FOR MY BIRTHDAY (Nov 14th) OR FOR CHRISTMAS! JUST GIVE ME CASH (please?)!! THANK YOU.

4 Are a liar.. + | If I'm just bad news..


xvivaxlabamxfanx

:: 2006 2 September :: 5.29pm
:: Mood: relaxed
:: Music: Cancer - My Chemical Romance

..bury me in all my favourite colours..
So on Thursday I got angry at my mom so she refused to take me to my doctors appointment. I didn't want to be near her so I decided to take a walk. I started walking towards boothwyn and I texted a couple of people to see what they were doing and if I could go over their houses. No answers.. so I called Kristyn and she said I could stop by. So I did. She was supposed to meet up with a friend in Philly that night but she couldn't find someone to go with her that had train money so she called that kid and asked if he could drive down here. So we waited around until one in the morning for them to show up. Once they (the kid and his friend) got there, we hung out in the parking lot and Kris and the two guys climbed the tree and I took pictures of them. Then I climbed up on the dumpster and they took pictures of that (which once I get them, they'll be in my picture space). Then we noticed that the sky was radiating orange like and alien glow or something. We stared and stared before we realized that it was a fire. So we got in their car and went like, 90mph from boothwyn to linwood. Found out it was one of those fire thingers at the refinery just really really big. Then we went out to Tom Jones at about 3am. We went back to Kristyn's and hung out on her balcony until about 9am (no sleep) then we drove back to linwood to see if my mom went to work. She decided to take off that day.. so we went to linwood school park until about 1pm I guess. Then Lena called me and she was up at the track at the high school and wanted something to do, so I sent the one kid and Kristyn to pick her up while me and the other kid waited at the park. After what seemed like forever they were back yelling at me saying my mom wasn't home and to let's go. So we went to my house, Kris layed down on my bed, I got dressed and the other three just sat in my living room. While I'm getting dressed my mom comes home.. but she wasn't bitchy, she was just a little shocked to have kids in her house when she came home.. and 'cause she was wearing sunglasses, she didn't even see the one that was sitting on the floor and almost tripped over him. Then we all left and went back to the park and chilled on the swings. Lena decided to go home 'cause she felt sick (hope she ended up feeling better). At around 3:15/3:30ish we drove up around walmart. The three of them were hungry so they went to Taco Bell and then drove me over to McDonald's for my interview at 4. They guy wants to start me as soon as possible so I have to get my working papers this week and go back. $6.40 an hour. Not bad. It'll be the highest paying job I've had besides babysitting for my cousin at $10 an hour.

Then that night was the VMAs. My Chemical Romance was playing the pre-show so I was really excited. They hadn't been in the media lately so I was curious as to what their hair/makeup/clothes looked like now-a-days. I almost died when I saw Gerard with short ass bleach blonde hair like I used to have in 9th grade. I didn't like it at all. Now after I see it more often, I'll get used to it.. and the same with their new song.. I didn't really like it but after I hear it more often, I'll probably like it more and it will probably end up being my favourite one off the new album. AND THEN, AFI won the rock video award! I WANTED TO STEAL JADE'S PURPLE PANTS!!!! ^_^ lmfao. And if anyone watched the VMAs, did you notice them give away the MTV2 award? I don't remember seeing it given out but I may have spaced out and missed it because of sleep deprivation.

That's about it. School starts soon.. Kind of can't wait.. I miss being around people.

I bought two new lava lamps today to make up for the one that broke. One is clear with black lava and one is clear with red lava .. To match my black and red room. ^_^ hah

Okay, I go now. Bye. Thanks for reading.

12 Are a liar.. + | If I'm just bad news..


xvivaxlabamxfanx

:: 2006 29 August :: 5.21pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Nightmare Before Christmas Soundtrack

..I Can't Beleive My Eyes, I Must Be Dreaming..
YAY, Nightmare Before Christmas is coming to theatres again in October... AND THIS TIME, it'll be in 3-fucking-D!!!

Oh, and on October 24th, New Nightmare soundtrack featuring Fall Out Boy, Panic at the Disco, Marylin Manson and more.

Yayyyyy. xD

If I'm just bad news..


xvivaxlabamxfanx

:: 2006 25 August :: 7.25pm
:: Music: Bullet For My Valentine - Hand Of Blood

SCHOOL SCHEDULE
First Semester
1. Graphic Communications - Foderaro
2. Yearbook - German
3. Calculus - Cole
4. Art 2 - Konigsberg
5. LUNCH
6. English 12 - Dowdall
7. Web Design - Litchko
8. Psych - Milnes

Second Semester
1. Photography - Foderaro
2. Senior Seminar - Spaniak
3. Calculus - Cole
4. Art 2 - Konigsberg
5. PE Girls 11-12 - Blumenthal
6. English 12 - Dowdall
7. LUNCH
8. Soc - Milnes

If I'm just bad news..


xvivaxlabamxfanx

:: 2006 24 August :: 6.34pm
:: Mood: distressed
:: Music: AFI - Decemberunderground

...if..you..don't..wake..me..up...

Since I've only been updating my myspace blog, this is an update entry with all of those said entries from my myspace blog.



[16 Aug 2006 | Wednesday]

Into the Abyss
Current mood: depressed



Into the Abyss
8/9/06
Stefani Scheck

The darkness devoured her face
took her to a place
where dreams were dead
and nightmares ruled.
Surrounded by blackened skies
no way out.
Screams of torture echoed into the abyss.
No one could save her
not even herself.
No one around, not a single face.
Fear in every corner, but leaving no trace.
Endless halls and flashes of pain
Everything to lose, and nothing to gain.
Blood splatter on every wall
Terror pacing down the hall.
Rattling chains, as though from a movie
but there's no happy ending in this one.
The ending is filled with emotions so dark
So deep and frightening..
That the only way to make this ending happy..

is death.


Currently listening: Smile Empty Soul
By Smile Empty Soul





Emotional Enema
Current mood: crappy



Emotional Enema
8/2/06
Stefani Scheck

There's no more room
from all the knives
shoved deeply in my back
I've been betrayed
for the last time
I don't know why
I didn't see it before
How is it that you're so beautiful
but so fucking ugly inside?
I thought you were different,
that you were better than this
But you're just the same
as everyone else
I'm sick and tired
of all your shit
I don't ever want to look at you again
or be associated with you in anyway
ever again
I'm isolating myself
It's terrifying to realize
how easy it is to be affected
It seems and emotional enema
is next on the agenda
Flush out the excess humanity
and all that's left is emptiness
waiting to be filled again
with the same false trust
and backstabbing lonliness



Excerpts from: Johnny The Homicidal Maniac


Currently reading : Johnny The Homicidal Maniac: Director's Cut By Jhonen Vasquez


---




..She Drives At 90 By The Barbies And Kens..
Current mood: disappointed



Summer college program is over.. I kinda miss having that routine of getting on the train in Marcus Hook and walking to the college and doing art work. But what I DON'T miss is waking up at 6AM and walking down to the train station.

Life's boring.. I've had some plans recently with people but for some reason they like to blow off plans without letting me know. And others told me they would call.. that never happened. So if anyone out there thinks they're my friend, can you please prove it? It's nice to not be ignored, you know.

I got my Invader Zim DVDs back.. I've missed them dearly.

Clerks 2 was a good movie. The credits were histerical.. all those damn myspace names... hah. The first Clerks was on Comedy Central the other night/early morning.. Uncut and Unedited.. I taped it. Yay me, I now own the first Clerks and can watch it whenever I want. SALSA SHARK.

I went to the mall on Sunday.. new peircer at Body Vibes, he's a neato person. Lots of metal on his face. Said he'd fix my industrial for me for only 20 bucks.. but I only have 12 since I went shopping.. bought Jack Sparrow poster, AFI poster, MUSIC=LIFE pin, and a white plastic ring. Mom gave me money to buy school shoes (I got some sweet new etnies) and the guy that was helping me at journeys was FUCKING HOTT! Snake bites.. mm. And he was kinda dark.. looked a little mexican-ish. Very sexy. It was funny though, when I went in.. 'cause I went sneaker shopping wearing like, four inch platforms (FROM SHELBY!). I haven't measured them yet, but I'm pretty sure they're four inches. And there was some weird dude that walked in wearing some kind of weirdo pattern on his suit-thinger.. me and the sexy shoe guy were making fun of him. ^_^

Yesterday I went to the Orthdontist, and I saw a lemonade stand with teenaged guys working it.. so I stopped on the way back to get some. They were actually making a movie and asked if I wanted to be in it, and I said "sure!" so I'm in a movie about some lazy kids who don't get jobs in the summer, but make a lemonade stand.. and they're even lazy working that. I'm a customer! Yay! And I got a cup of lemonade!! ^_^

I'm not allowed to go to Nocturn tomorrow night. Thanks mother for taking away the last ounce of my social life.

And now I'm just sitting around waiting for school to start. Life is fun! (sarcasim).


Currently listening : Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge
By My Chemical Romance


---




[29 Jul 2006 | Saturday]

..If I'm Just Bad News, Then You're a Liar..
Current mood: annoyed



Life is fun. Hah.. so is sarcasim.

I'm getting sick of being stabbed in the back, ignored, and taken advantage of. I give up. I'm done dealing with people, I'm done waiting for them. If you want to be my friend, then be my fucking friend. Don't wait for me to call (I won't), don't wait for me to come over (I won't). Why don't you call me for once? That would be nice.. stop over, I'm home 90% of the time. Oh, and don't complain that you wanted me to hang out with you the night before but you never invited me. That makes no sense.. if you wanted me to do something with you, but you didn't invite me, OF COURSE I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THERE! Fucking dumbasses.

Oh, and with other people who AREN'T my friends anymore.. STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY BUISINESS. I don't like someone because of my own reasons, don't stick your dirtyass nose into my buisness and ask why. If they wanted to know, they would ask me themselves. Leave me the fuck alone, you're annoying, no one really likes you, they just "tolerate" you (which you CLAIM they do for me.. BULLSHIT). My friends actually like me.. and I thought you were my friend at one point.. BOY WAS I FUCKING WRONG! And don't send me messages asking "Why did you delete me off of your friends list? What did I do wrong?" The answer? EVERYTHING.

I WANT MY FUCKING CDS BACK! MY COUSIN WANTS HER MARILYN MANSON CD BACK WHEN I SEE HER ON TUESDAY! And I don't want anymore bullshit excuses like the last time. I want the CDs, and I want them now. And I know you read this, and if not, your "new best friend" (mentioned above) does.

I give up with romance too. I'm done flirting, I'm done trying to get anyones attention. I'm done. I told my cousin this, and she said I need to grow some balls. I replied with "I had balls.. but someone ripped them off a long time ago and I'm reverting back to how I was." I'm done being forward. I'm done confessing shit right away. I'll just go back into my little shell and live life by myself in my own little world.

If anyone wants to help fix any of this, I'm home all the time, and the phone line is ALWAYS open due to my internet being completely broken.



Goodbye.


Currently listening : Tell All Your Friends
By Taking Back Sunday


---




[25 Jul 2006 | Tuesday]

I Can't



I Can't
Stefani Scheck
07.13.06

I'm not going to write your name in hearts
I'm not going to put your last name with my first
I'm not going to picture a future with you
I'm not going to imagine your perfect face
I'm not going to think about you

I'm going to go on with life
I'm going to forget that you were ever here
I'm going to turn my back and walk away
I'm going to erase you from my mind
I'm going to stop waiting

But I can't do any of these things
You're too much for me
I want to break you down and know everything
I want to know who you are, what you are
Where you've been and where you're going.

When you'll be mine.






Leave It All Behind


Leave It All Behind
Stefani Scheck
07.08.06

If death is so appealing
Why haven't you done it yet?
The cool knife against your skin
the warm trickle of blood
drip, drip, drip on the floor.
Fill your need with the poison
choose the vein carefully
slide it in, release the toxin
feel it fill your body
fall numb to it's calling.
The icy metal of the gun
hold it to your heart
press it against your forehead
taste it in your mouth
trembled finger on the trigger
pull it, it's your last shot.
Open the medicine cabinet
browse your options
or choose them all
handful after handful
chase it with liquid and wait it out.
Tie the rop
make sure it's tight
slide it over your head
all you have to do is jump.
Jump. Just jump.
Whatever your choice, it's going to happen.
Leave it all behind.
Never knowing what it could have been..
What it should have been.
Instead you've ended it...
..why?


---




Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before
Current mood: lonely



So yeah.. life.. wow. Rob is awesome.. although he has a girlfriend, he's still a pretty cool friend. And his nail marks STILL have not dissapeared from my right arm. The bite mark is gone from my right arm.. heh. But as I've been told by a close friend.. some of the things that have been said to me (which are good) have also been told to another girl. And if it comes down to that, I'm not getting involved. Anytime I try to get with a guy that's also involved with this said girl, it always turns out really bad. So.. only friends.

I have kickass friends at school: Phoebe, Lauren, Christian, Joe, Leah and Ben (Kyou). They make me actually want to wake up at 6am and come to school. I'm going to miss them once Aug 11th rolls around.

I haven't heard much from friends.. It gets really lonely. People need to call me and let me know that they're alive. I got into a bullshit argument with Eric and at this point I don't really care to talk to him.. I just want my cousins Marilyn Manson CD back.

I've further proven my point that girls kiss better than guys. Although, tongue rings do help.

I've had a recent obsession with Taking Back Sunday.. bought two of their CDs in one day.. can't stop listening. All thanks to Robs ringtone. Then I actually read the words to MakeDamnSure and they relate to a situation right now.. that I won't explain.

I've also written another poem since my last blog and the next two will be them.

Thanks for reading, and please comment to let me know that you're actually out there.

=]


Currently listening : Louder Now
By Taking Back Sunday


---




[12 Jul 2006 | Wednesday]

..I saw a star..
Current mood: okay



Okay.. long time, no blog. I have to make this quick.. I have 5 minutes (since myspace has been being slow).

Internet's broken, on here at Library.

AFI Concert: Awesome pictures, bad bruises, kicking assholes in the head while crowdsurfing.

Dresden Dolls Concert: Got Drumstick, met the Dolls, met awesome people.

New Poem: Coming soon.. I need to actually bring it to the library.

School: Awesome people, lots of walking and being on a train with 43285641306 people. Moore College. Fun.

People: Kaitlyn's home, Shelby's awesome. Been hanging out with Jim Barkley and met his friend Rob. I like Rob. I've been told Rob likes me. Cuddling with him is fun. I miss him. I hope I see him today.

I guess that's it.. people need to call me from now on since I won't be on aim. And I don't have the cell phone.. so don't call that.

Later ♥


Currently listening : Very Proud of Ya
By AFI


---




[09 Jun 2006 | Friday]

..I'll let you tear it up..
Current mood: sleepy



This is so fucking retarted. I don't have time to explain it all but my mom is just a fucking bitch and needs to be murdered. She went psycho yesterday. I want out. RAWRRRR.

She took my cell phone. DON'T CALL IT, I might get in trouble.

I better still be able to go to the AFI concert on June 24th. AND see Dresden Dolls on July 1st.

Speaking of which.. my mom might make me sell my Dresden/Panic ticket. And I need to sell my other AFI ticket once I'm sure that I have it. Lena, if you're reading this, do you want to go with me and buy it off of me?



That is all for now.

Oh. Only three hours of sleep. Was at the mall last night till 11:30. I know.. it closes at 9:30. Fucked up, right? I layed on the sidewalk and almost fell asleep in the rain, lol.


Currently listening : decemberunderground
By AFI

3 Are a liar.. + | If I'm just bad news..


xvivaxlabamxfanx

:: 2006 24 May :: 11.42am
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: AFI - Rabbits Are Roadkill on Route 37

..all i truly know..
Well.. this is has been a .. werid week. Kaitlyn came over the other day and we went over to Steph's house so I could get my dvds back.. well.. in the alley we saw like.. 5 little kids back there and they started following us and making fun of how "goth" we are. The one kid threw a bottle cap and a rock at my face and said to his friend "his them with your scooter!!" so I turned around and gripped the one up by his shirt and punched him really hard in the jaw and said "if you fucking do that again i'll fucking hurt you worse" and I turned around and continued to Steph's house. They threw one more rock at me before running away... but then I started talking to Steph so.. we're talking again. Uhh.. OH this was on Thursday. Okay.. lol. Then I went out with Eric, Lyndsie, Taylor, Daniel, and some other girl to Tom Jones.. me and Eric ran to the mall to see Dawn and she had left so we found her and Pete at the Chinese place near Tom Jones. Pete told us that he told them four, so we could help ourselves. Then we hung out in the Pathmark parking lot for like.. a half hour. Friday, everyone and their mom was at prom so I went to the mall by myself. Dawn left while I was there and I just hung out with Chad for like.. three hours. Ran errands for him and helped him close up. Went back on Saturday with Eric and let Chad borrow some DVDs (Foamy, Invader Zim, and some music ones). I don't know what I've done since then.. lmao. Uhhh... I think I hung out with Eric on Sunday or something.. and Kristyn.. I HOPE I CAN FUND A RIDE FOR TOMORROW NIGHT!!! GHA!@U$YEQ@&*%R BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE IS PLAYING IN PHILLY AND I WANT TO FUCKING GO!!!!!!!!!!! RAWR.

Oh yeah. AFI. June 24th. I'm so FUCKING there.


And.. I love J.R. <3

1 Are a liar.. + | If I'm just bad news..

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