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Melindy (profile) wrote,
on 6-24-2003 at 9:03pm
Current mood: lonely
Music: Shades of Love- Empty Trash
Haha was I listening to that song when I updated last night? Wouldnt be surprised. But that's not why I'm posting. How could she leave? Why? Ever since I woke up this morning to her calling me, I've been dealing with the reality that she is gone for a month. How am I supposed to live with that? How do I rant now? I emailed her earlier. I had seriously only meant to ask her if she liked the Harry Potter book I let her borrow, but....I ended up going on about crap, practically in tears the whole time, just like I am now. Is she this sad when she thinks of me? Or is she too focused on Josh? I know they just officially hooked up and all, but that cant keep her from thinking of me like...ever. Especially since she has my book, and the journal a bought her especially for the trip. I'm just all teary now and it bugs me that I can be this way. Its not even Nic! Its not even a boy, its my best friend. I think I just need to stop listening to all this depressing music. I should be excited about my cruise coming up in less than a week, but I'm not. I just sit here, listening to this song over and over and over, wishing someone would call me. I'm in no mood to call them. They can call me. Its like a loyalty test at the moment. Jessica is failing horribly, I called while she was at a class, and her mom said she'd have her call me. She hasnt. I know she's home by now. Jeremy not doing so well, but I didnt demand he call me, I only suggested. Other than that no one has called and I havent told anyone to call. I'm wondering if Nic would think to call...but I guess not. I suppose I'm just depressed because all my friends are now across town or apparently too busy for me. I know Maria didnt want to go, but I cant help being slightly mad with her for leaving. I remember last summer it was like "Oh? You're leaving? Well, have fun.." And that was it. I survived last summer. But she and I are so much closer now. Its so much different. She's knows me better than anyone ever has, and I the same about her. And now that she's not here, who is supposed to read my mind, or be able to tell over the phone when I'm the tiniest bit depressed. Jason was brilliant at that, he could tell by simply READING what I was saying if I were even the littlest bit problemed by anything. He got annoying though because he would just bug me and bug me about it. I guess no one's perfect though. Tim is great and all, but no help since he's as lonely as I am. And he's always so busy. I'm going to be so alone when he goes to France. Then I wont even have him. Ok well...I need to get away from this stuff. See ya.

Mindy
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