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| lp13a13ex54x (profile) wrote, on 12-20-2002 at 10:07am | |
| Subject: ...yeah... |
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| And Im a black rainbow And Im an ape of god I got a face thats made for violence upon And Im a teen distortion, survived abortion A rebel from the waist down I wanna thank you mom I wanna thank you dad For bringing this fucking world to a bitter end I never really hated the "one true God" But the god of the people I hated You said you wanted evolution The ape was a great big hit You said you want a revolution, man And I say that you're full of shit Were disposable teens Were disposable teens Were disposable You said you wanted evolution The ape with the great big hit You said you want a revolution, man And I say that you're full of shit The more that you fear us the bigger we get The more that you fear us the bigger we get And dont be suprised, dont be suprised Dont be suprised when we destroy all of it. You said you wanted evolution The ape with the great big hit You said you want a revolution, man And I say that you're full of shit Yeah yeah yeah You said you wanted evolution The ape with the great big hit You said you wanted revolution, man And I say that you're full of shit. ~~~ Hello cruel world..whatz happenin? Nuthin much here..i stayed home today soz im feeling pretty bored right about now...bout to start doin some chores buh i figgered that id update this thing first. hennyz comin down tomarrow which is probably the best thing that could happen for me right now because i REALLY need someone around me to assure me that im gonna get through these next couple of days..or weeks....well alot of stuff is going on right now..not much that i happen to like...therez this guy who really hurt me and i kinda lashed out at him and i think he hates me right now.most of the people who are close to me kno who im talking about but im not going to expose any names in here...so anyway, things were great, or at least i thought they were..until one of my friends came along and said that she thought he was just using me...i didnt think anything of it and even when i went to him at first he denied it and said not to worry about what she said...until about a day later he suddenly brought up the fact that he had been "thinking aout what she had said" and he thought that we should just be friends...guilty conscience? i think so...and what makes me sick to my stomach is that here i sat and defended hiz @$$ for the longest time against one of my friends beliefs, who was just looking out for me. i told her that she was wrong and that he would never do anything like that and looky here, it seems that he couldnt even deal with it. so now im faced with the fact that i have to get up in front of my friend now, and admit that i was wrong about something i believed so strongly in...and im losing somebody that i loved and THOUGHT loved me...what a load of bulls**t that turned out to be. Have you ever felt like someone was holding your heart in the palm of their hand and then in one moment they just took it and smashed it on the floor? Well..thats what im going through right now so im not the happiest camper in the world...i still cant get over the fact that i was so stupid as to believe that he was someone that he really wasnt..itz the last time i ever let a guy hold so much power over me. He claims that he would NEVER use me...and yet has he defended himself yet in the situation? he did the worst possible thing on his part, which was give up on everything...now doesnt that seem to you that he wasnt using me?...i was being sarcastic.I really hope that he reads this at some point...not to make him feel bad because i know that would never happen..but just so that he knows that i figured out what he was up to and that im not retarded.and dont even go and say that you didnt call me retarded because i already know that..even tho i hav no idea what you say about me behind my back..i dont wanna lose you, i REALLY REALLY dont..and by saying that im actually doing the worst possible thing for myself. i dont know what the hell i see in you thats good anymore but i still think that somethings there and i want to TRY and resume a tight friendship with you..because you're one of the most important people in my life..it just hurts to kno that i couldnt be the same for you..i dont think that thats worth throwing away completely just bebcause of this issue..i dont think i have anything more to say on that topic except, you know who you are...so anyway, last night was pretty interesting...huxley dropped by begging for money to go to mc donalds and buy a #1....i only had a 20 on me so i made him beg and plead a little more to go up and break it for me..promising that he would come back with my change...his word wasnt a lot to go by so i had kathy ready to kik his @$$ in school today if he didnt come bak with my money..to my surprise, he did, and we actually hung out a while on my porch..hes such a flirt..too bad he has no chance. i talked to mike, it seems that were gettin pretty close again so who knows, ::looks around the room:: ....also, henny....big "hoa"(lol) ..abotu that zac thing..scurry stuff...hey ::glances at buhdee list:: ...brad didnt go to school today i 'spect ..hmmz..evil evil brad man..anywayz..oo noo ...theres totally a cockroach in the garbage can behind meh...i hear little pieces of paper moving aorund so im out in a few..::keeps looking behind self:: ...scurry bug...hmph..well thats all for today kiddiez...for more on how my life is suckin them big chocolate salty balls...tune in every uhm...time i decide to update this stupid thing..later dayz skankbags -Stephie -Here are a couple more of dem quiz thingyz...  find your inner PIE @ stvlive.com  Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!  **Whose your Good Charlotte HOTTIE?!?!** brought to you by Quizilla  What Kind of FLIRT are you? brought to you by Quizilla  What swear word are you? brought to you by Quizilla  What type of vampire are you? brought to you by Quizilla
l8er skankbags |
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xcherrycherrysx | ..... :cries histerrically:, 12-20-02 9:35pm god you told me it was depressing but!... god! :blows nose:... ewwwwwww.... ok anyways im sry i havent been the most supportive best friend you can ask for i REALLY am.. but you know me.. not the best relationship advice giver person.. so i just honestly DONt know what to say....but i talked to you on the phone and i think we understand eachother.. hopefully.. well you know i luv ya chick and ill be down there asap ttyl xo buh byez - henny |
lp13a13ex54x | Re: ..... :cries histerrically:, 12-20-02 10:04pm no no...im GLAD that you arent the type of person who sits there ans sympathizes...or h.e the f*ck u spell it....along with me..because then wed feel crappy together and id NEVER get over it..EVER...bcuz ppl like that r just prone to rubbing more badness off on sum1 and then its like its ok to be a loser and retarded and sit aorund all day feeling sorry for yourself and its not!!!! ::cries histarically:: ...but honestly...i couldnt ask for more support than what you giv meh bcuz even tho you think you arent giving good advice or w.e....you ARE makin things better...and it means alot bcuz if i hav to beh screwed over by one more person imma keel over..im just glad i have you as reassurence that the world doesnt COMPLETELY suck @$$, thankz, Steph |