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lowbacca1977 (profile) wrote,
on 3-11-2004 at :43am
i've just decided the whole thing is pointless......
i'm looking back at my life.....and there isn't a moment i can think of that i seemed to have done the right thing. its just a string of wrong decisions. one after another after another. every time i found something i believed in, i was wrong, or i failed. every time i've set a goal in my life, i've fallen far short. theres never been a time where i've measured up to or beyond anyone's expectations of me in my life.
its just regret, shortcomings, and failure.
i don't see why to even bother anymore.

and perhaps the stupidest mistake off that was going beyond just being dumb enough to think that i could be enough to satisfy even myself to all the way to being dumb enough to think that i could ever come close to being what anyone else could want, need, or deserve in life.

i've wasted so much time of so many people because of that.

and the worst thing i ever did, perhaps.....was to let my emotions ever get out. because they only seem to have caused problems and greater difficulty for those around me. its not that i regret feeling things, its that i regret letting what i was feeling become known. its been too much of a problem for, well, anyone thats found out about it one way or another. and all because i was stupid enough to think then, and still now, the potential for something to come of it.
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g33k

03-11-04 6:02am

If it means anything, I think you have failed the least of any of us (by us I mean our group). Everyone of us, with the exception of you, has sacrificed our morals of beliefs in order to be accepted in one way or another. I admire the fact that you know who you are and what your morals are. My hat's off to you...literally I just took it off and saluted my computer... I would toast to you to, but i have no alcohol and as of late conversation that might not be fitting.

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hitokirivader

03-11-04 11:03am

instead of dwelling in the past, look to the present and the future. whatever path has been laid behind you is totally irrelevant. who cares if you feel that your past is full of mistakes. you LEARN from them. he who has made more mistakes in his life is far wiser and more experienced than he who has lived a life of contentment.

and mike, what makes you feel that being open about your feelings was a mistake? i can honestly say that it has never been a problem for me. i'm glad to know that you've opened up to me because it not only lets me learn more about you but that it makes me feel glad to be your friend. sure, letting your feelings out hasn't exactly gotten you gold and riches, but trust me, mike, there are far greater riches.

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lowbacca1977

Re:, 03-12-04 12:29am

i probably should make it clear that the past thing was a great deal of venting primarily and not a constant change in my mindset or something like that

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