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| HollishDanishM (profile) wrote, on 5-26-2004 at 5:28pm | |
| Music: N.E.R.D- Brain Subject: I didn't... |
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| I didn't want to go to school today or anything. As powerless and weak as I might be, I can predict evil and good. I fear in my mind that something doesn't feel right, and I am always proved right. It's so hard to keep a positive mindset, when you're never proven wrong. At least in that sense. As much as I convinced myself that 9th grade camp had been a fun experience, it wasn't. It was horrible. It broke me apart. It was from there every glass started shattering. You might think the self-pity is taking over. You might think I only think of myself, but that is where you're wrong. If I don't, no one will. I know there are people that care, but everyone dissapoints you. Everyone. I bite back at my anger, I hurt my anger more than I hurt myself. When I vommit, I keep the vommit back, it doesn't have power over me. Neither does anger. But you start feeling so sick, and it only really feels good when it's over with. When I start crying, I am never allowed to just cry. I am always held back, always held back. I don't allow myself to get everything out. I don't allow myself the pleasure. There is only one person who can help me through my anger and frustration. No one knows how to say That they're sorry and don't worry I'm not telling lies. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. -Mette I used to hate it when my stepmother would assign our seats at the dinner table. My dad would sit on one side, she would sit across from my dad, and I'd sit next to her. That was the moment I realized that I didn't belong, that I didn't belong in the land where I was born. And that my dad wasn't my dad, he was just man who had helped produce me. I still hate it. p.s. I know it's bright. |
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brownsugar | 05-26-04 6:38pm mette, don't take things so much at heart it break u, seriously. i went through that phase saying "im not taking no shit from no one" and then how'd it end up? everyone hated me and i had no friends and even I ended up hating myself. thats not good tho, it's not. sometimes u have to learn to let things pass and relzax and only look at the good things and conveniently skip over the bad things |
HollishDanishM | Re:, 05-26-04 6:48pm I agree with you. I went through that phase as well, in 6th and 7th grade, and the same thing happened to me. Everyone had a grudge against me. But there are two extremes, and you shouldn't follow either. You can't just let everything pass you by, every bad thing, because that will break you as well. You have to stand up to yourself and your beliefs sometimes. But on the other hand, as you said, you can't take every little thing to heart, but really when you think about it, I don't. I have very good control of my anger, and sometimes that's the problem. It just builds up inside. |
Anonymous | Re: Re:, 05-29-04 10:32am I'm calling Hot Mexicanville (aka City Limits) today and asking for Benjamin's shift. Oh it will be fun. ;-) |
HollishDanishM | Re: Re: Re:, 05-29-04 11:57am Muahaha. Oh, joyous. Call me when you know, it shall be a ball
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