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| playmate101 (profile) wrote, on 6-22-2004 at 12:37pm | |
| Current mood: anxious Music: cupid // 112 |
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| there's so much that i have to say, but i don't know where to start. hopefully... ur doing better than i am. hopefully, u got more sleep than i did. and maybe u are luckier than i am... that u don't feel sick and u can actually eat something. ((its not that i don't want to eat, cause us fat people love food, ya know)) but i was up all night. u went to bed, i did laundry, i laid in bed, hoping to fall asleep, and instead, when i closed my eyes, my head was spinning & my heart started to hurt. i'm not one to get my point across with words because my actions ALWAYS tend to speak louder, but here... i'll do the best i can. 8 months ago... there was a promise i made to u, with a simple, "yes". i promised never to hurt u, never to cheat on u, never to keep u unhappy. i hurt u... by not seeing u. i never cheated on u. and u're unhappy because i didn't see u as often as u'd like. i know ur intentions were never to hurt me, talking on the phone... and u would say it all the time, "i won't hurt u," "i'm not going to hurt u." thats when there was safety. that gave me all i needed... and then it wasn't hard to open up to u. because i knew that u weren't going to put me through pain... and i knew that its going to be a smooth flight... and it always was. now... i'm not referring to u as the asshole... because, ur not. one thing that happened won't make me say... "hey jonah is an asshole." sometimes we have to hurt the ones we love. but i don't want u to feel bad about it. there's no reason... ur reputation isn't going to be an asshole, and eventually we'll get over it. maybe with a few more weekends together... or just you and me together... or simple walks to see each other... maybe we can figure something out cause its really worth it. i just sit here... imagine us together.. and it sux. because its not true... we arent together.... now i have to go to bed and actually dream about it. i wonder what its going to be like... the first time i see u... and we arent together. think it will be easy? maybe it will be a little rough? or maybe we'll just flirt so much that it will still feel like we're going out... who knows. but i am so confused right now... that none of this that u're reading makes sense. and i'm just blabbing because it will give me less to think about. idk. i love u. <3 i can't talk anymore. i needa wipe off the tears. xoxo. |
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spinoangel | 06-22-04 3:46pm *long drawn out hug*
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| Anonymous | Jackie, 06-22-04 5:19pm awww, bri.... i love you!!! feel better baby! u know im here for u 24/7 no matter what! |
naztymizzbella | 06-22-04 6:01pm it*ll be hard fer a while. stay strong. remba yoo always have support from yer friends :)
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