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| mizu87 (profile) wrote, on 9-19-2004 at 9:43pm | |
| Current mood: fine |
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| Well, was called in for work this morning at seven. Guess who I worked with? Jonathan... did I enjoy it .. yes... ... .. to make things short.. we stayed after we closed.. for like.. close to an hour.. fooling around.. .. he sat on the table in the back.. i was between his legs and he held me.. and.. i hugged him and.. it was just he was, in a serious voice, he said that... "Buda.. I just keep and keep liking you more" and.. he is like me. We both can't have each other and we know it's not gonna work it's just something.. I don't know.. but... I just.. loved touching him. I gave him a back massage and he gave me one (damn they really do feel good! I never had one I always just give'em) .. but.. it's just.. I wanted to kiss him so bad and I was in his lap sideways and he had unbottoned my jeans -.-' ( the zipper was down too >.>) and... just.. being with him.. we kissed.. and.. it was hot man lmao I mean damn did he want it BAD! Damn can he kiss! My second guy kissing. He is a FUCK load better then Brook lmao xD god. It was the first time I felt anything when kissing.. he sent a chill up my spine. But it's just.. he just.. said he loved my white skin because it was different and just he loved everything about me, inside and out he said.. and I mean he said it like he meant it and with Jon it's so different then with Brook because.. Jon takes time to think before he speakes and.. Just.. he can kiss xD. But yea.. bout got caught by my dad though.. and.. just.. Jooon.. I sent him 2 letters now.. they should get to him by atleast or the most Tuesday.. .. dang.. ..... He's not hott.. his body I mean.. he has a gut and emphasima, where your skin is dry or something and it iches, hell if i know, all over his back, it just looks like sunburn or something. .. but.. I love his hair and his scent.. and.. just.. his little mustache and beard and.. just.. -_- he told me I had to curl my lips more over my teeth when I kissed XD lmao he said he loves my teeth but damn! Ha ha it was funny. I said I was a bad kisser that is why he said that. I also would NOT let him touch my chest and he asked why and then said I was insecure and said he loved my chest, my entire body. ... .... Maroon 5 -She will be loved, I feel like that part: 'I don't mind spending everyday out on your corner in the pouring rain, tap on my window knock on my door, I wanna make you feel beautiful', I feel like that would be Jon.. He'd do that for me. And in a letter I wrote him I wrote "I think the reason why I like you so much is that I feel like you won't deny me"... yea I wrote that. It's just.. I didn't.. really want to leave him.. and he asked me "am I the only one thinking of sex here?" lmao. I told him I wasn't a virgin but that didn't make me a whore -_- But yea he said we both was tourting outselves that I was a great tease.. and I said that's all I was.. and it got to him. I told him to stop trying to touch my chest and he said that he stops everytime I say to.. and he does.. He gives me that respect.. brook has too.. but not the way Jon has. Jon also apologized for being rough with me last time -.-' I was like 'oh you thaught that was rough? ok' lol He is just.. damn.. caring? Is that the word? Was supposed to go DDR with Lenka but we had to do it later when I got off of work, found out Amanda G, whom I was supposed to help with Bio, was at Anton's and was comming to my house till TEN and so Lenka was out and Amanda was in, DDR was on and I am tired lol Kicked ass and Steve-o was there, some 18 year old army dude from FL was there who was hitting on me and Amanda and I told him to back off and it was just fun. Brent showed up too. Amanda said 'damn buda you know everyone' and I guess i was being too friendly with the guys.. .. I dunno. After that we went to Taco Bell where AmandaG's daughter works and got a discount XD big ass discout I ordered 4 hard tacos, Chicken surpreme chalupa with extra tamatoes and then a double decker and it came to like 3.40 something lol xD damn! That was cheap. Yea then we went to Wal Mart and I talked to RITSUKO! IN JAPANESE!!!!!!!!!! It was fucking awesome! I said it all right, no problems and I understood her! It was great. I said Kon ban wa and she did too then O genki desu ka and she said genki then like anata wa or something which is you but I didn't know what she said but guessed she was asking how I was and I said genki and then okagay samadai and she said "oohhh okagay samadai, not too many know about that word, where you learn?' and I can't even remember where I learned it but yea it was damn awesome and I said ja ne and shit and she was making me count money in Japanese and this time she just had a sparkle in her eye and was happy sounding and smiling and I think she really enjoyed my company because she told me about a church of japanese, like 15 japanese go there wednesdays at 9 and .. she said if I go I can ask around to see if someone will help me. And.. she said the people she did ask were too busy with their families. I don't find it right that japanese, koreans, and mexicans have to work harder, americans are such ass holes. But yeah I was so damn happy. I loved! Talking to her! She asked me my name and I said it wrong, I said watashi wa buda desu and it's watashi no buda desu I think.. yea.. and then watashi wa nihon go ga wakari masu and it was just awesome! OH I made 40 in tips today too btw. Oh she said that she'd call me tomorrow with the information... Got home and Bethany (brooks ex) had called and amanda was still with me and so I called her up and first thing out of her mouth was 'why didn't you tell me you and brook were going out?' and she was crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said her grandpa was in the hospital and wasn't doing great at all. She told me if I ever needed any information about brook to just ask her and she told me alot.. the same stuff brook has told me.. and.. I'm ready to have a big 'ol talk with his ass.. it pissed me off but mom bitched at me for being on the phone while amanda was there so I had to hang up... Amanda's sis came and picked her up like aroud 9 something and we got no work done.. so yeah, oops. I was in a bitch bitch mood so I called Brook. Asked him wha the fuck was going on and he said he was all confused and bethany had told me it was up and down with him and shit and .. she also sai dsomething about her getting married out of highschool.. greeeeeeat. Cha. But .. I just.. I told him i wasnt going to wait much longer and just alot of shit and he said just he might move to dallas and just.. damn man. He doesn't get his story staight and he said he forgot about seeing me wednesday that he was asleep and he wasnt even sorry and i am just.. rather way pissed of at him and then he said 'fine! if you want to break up lets break up!' and i said i didn't want to and he said that was what i was leaning towards and then he said he did work thursday and that they lied or something and i was just like wtf and i told him i'm tired of the lies and games and he said if i thought it was a game then fuck it and just damn man i mean.. i pissed him off nice n good. ... There was alot more but i'm tired and jon is just on my mind damnit and risuko and I just can't fucking wait till I can learn japanese more. .. Brook is supposed to be calling me tomorrow.. ... and.. I said before he hung up.. that I loved him stil that I really did and I dont' want to pressure him into saying it because the next time he said it i wanted him to mean it and he was like 'i can't believe you just said that' and said bye and hung up.. I do'nt know if it was the just i love you part or the say it like you mean it part lol.. oh well his fault. I told him that he hasn't even apologized for being an ass at me and he said 'well sorrrrry' and he is living with shay, who autum told me he doesn't like brook, and it's shay's house but i'm used to it being called scotts and brook is paying rent? And gonna work full time? wasn't he already full time? and beth sai dshe brook up with him cause of the lies and i just can't wait till i get him by my damn self so I can just get up all in his fucking face OH! I can't wait damn fuck man grrr. Man am I pissed though.. god.. Ooo ... Brook man... and now what is going on with jon and my horoscope saying i'd might find my self falling in love with someone i usually wouldn't or something.. I mean.. jon said it too me outloud from his memeory saying for some reason he knew he'd be working with me today and .. I think he said it to me for a reason.. damn.. I also wrote in a letter that if i ever saw him with another girl i'd be jealous off my ass and i brought brook there before.. i bet jon felt aweful because i was all over brook.. and.. I want to talk to jon about brook and it's just not fair to jon.. damn.. and.. damn.. why is he still even messin with me? .. I don't know Jon is cool though... Really gets me thinking sometimes.. I told brook i wasn't gonna be waiting no more week or so for another fucking call... and.. yea.. ... I really didn't want to leave jon today at work.. I was more then content in his warmth... he said 'you know we won't see each other for another week or two right?' and.. just... ... it didn't hit me like that.. ... ... jon makes me feel good i can't help it.. brook.. feels like such a stranger... ... like.. wtf.. i mean i bad mean stranger.. i mean.. really.. it's just i think now i'm on the outside looking in like all of you and he seems like such a fucking ass.. I shouldn't be on. I haven't touched my homework and i need a shower and shit and i am so tired from work and DDR and just.. i am like getting much much better at ddr. Amanda thanked me for taking her.. she's so .. serious.. ... i hate how people abuse her.. like cause she's slow and shit.. just make fun of her and shit and.. .. i just.. want to help her and i guess that's how antons feels.. but.. god.. he is gonna get so heart broken over it. Found out he told her he had no reason to live without her and is now cutting himself because he's stopped dipping and smoking.. and it eases the pain n shit.. I'll have to talk to him again.. ... Kyle is back.. Kyle T.. anton's best friend.. it's a long story that you don't want to hear. ... .. and how long has it been since I ended an entry with these two names at the end? Jon/Brook |
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hiei | 09-20-04 7:19pm You said you wouldn't crawl into Jon's arms.. |