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DiTzYjEnN (profile) wrote,
on 9-20-2004 at 3:15pm
something inside me is constantly asking... why do you care. hes an asshole and was a complete jerk to you. in my conscience mind i dont love him anymore and i dont want him in my life. but somewhere deep inside me i love him with all my heart, and i just wish it would go back to the way it was before. before i knew the real him. it makes me mad to admit to this. because even though i dont want it this way i truely believe there isnt any way in this world i could MAKE myself feel differently. sure i make fun of him, say how much i hate him, dont care if he gets hurt. but hiden behind that constantly is some1 who wants him to be back in my arms and to know everything is perfect and is working out. everyday i try to get away from this. i cant seem to. nothing works. wen i see his smile each and everyday all i wish is that he wasnt so stupid. i care for sum reason enough to want to know EXACTLY what he did everyday.
theres no getting around this. i have to find a way to cope.
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