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DiTzYjEnN (profile) wrote,
on 9-28-2004 at 8:33pm
alrite. i admit it. i miss him. mayb too much.
i miss everything about him. even the incredibly annoying things.
i miss his smile.
the conversasions we had.
debates that lead nowhere except a good laugh.
being in his arms.
jst sitting next to him not even saying anything.
watching him fall asleep.
his laugh.
even when he was angry about some1.
i miss knowing everything about him.
being the only one who acually knew everything.

but now it has all changed. its been over a month. i still cant handle it. i took for granted what i had, thats why i lost him again. i guess i jst figured he would never break up with me. now wenever i see him i want to cry. i want to run up to him, give him a huge hug, and cry. forever.
i still remember how it felt in his arms. like nothing was rong in life. and evrything wud forever be perfect. i thought he cared. that he would never hurt me again.

if i learned anything, it is to believe what ive always thought. never trust any1. even the ppl who you trust the most eventually shove it back in your face. why?? i wish i knew.

i keep thinking back to the first day i noticed him. i looked at him and something inside me KNEW without one ounce of doubt, that i wud fall in love with him. i didnt relly pay much attention to him, jst knew deep inside. kinda sucks wen the first person you relly truely love is the type of person who cant hold on. he'll grab on to you and drag you along, only to drop you at the worst possible moment. and make you feel like shit.

i dont want to feel like this for him anymore. hes not worth it. but i cant let go.

nor can i tell any1 that i still havent.
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