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sadsongsnmyhead87 (profile) wrote,
on 10-4-2004 at 10:36pm
Current mood: awake
Music: San and Ashitaka from the Princess Mononoke SD
Subject: Outright Selfishness
You know...the person I'm about to talk about is already forgiven...but this entry will absolutely contradict the feelings I felt when I actually accepted the apology...



Okay...so Saturday was my birthday and I don't know why I didn't write this till now, but I guess it never really hit me until today when Jaz and I were talking during lunch.

A couple of friends and I had plans to go dress-shopping on my b-day. Well, one of my friends couldn't go and she told me this probably on Thurs. so I didn't think much of it. Oh, it's just so-and-so and me then. Okay...so come Saturday, I was waiting for the phone call to see when we were going to meet at the mall. I turned down volunteering at the nature center and going over to my neighbor's to play DDR. All I did was sit at the computer and chat with people or write while I wait for my stupid friend to call. Well, then. Turns out, this person had to go to work and didn't bother telling me, so...I wasted a perfectly good day...which happened to be my birthday.

Well, I ended up going to nature center meeting that night and I found out that only one volunteer went to help out that whole day. 1 volunteer compared to the usual 4-5. You see, Saturdays are my days to volunteer, but because I supposedly had plans I took the day off. So...because of this, I can't believe I had forgiven this "friend".

I wouldn't have cared if I didn't have anything else planned, but you know what? I'm not that little middle school kid who didn't have anything to do on weekends anymore. I HAVE things to do. It jeopardized another group I was commited to (the nature center) and because of that, I don't know why I let that person off "easy". I'm really bashing myself for this.

And what Jaz and I had talked about during lunch today was...she actually called Jaz, saying that she didn't want to call me and tell me she couldn't go. What?! So, I'm this big baby now who cries if something comes up and they can't go? It's people like that who piss me off more than anything in the world. It probably wasn't meant to happen...but it did. People these days should really consider other people's lives, whether they seem to have one or not, cuz that's just fucked up if they don't...

And for all those cynics out there...one simple phone call could've avoided this whole entry......but I didn't get the phone call now did I?
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