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Aaron (profile) wrote,
on 10-19-2004 at 11:38pm
Current mood: P-I-S-S-E-D O-F-F
Music: Please, NIN
Subject: A prison for my mind
It's official now. she hates me. She fucking hates me. Isn't that just peachy? I'm stuck in this god damn prison of a school, I'm restrained by my parents in every way, and what does she do? She turns her back on me. lovely. fucking lovely tori. I really appreciate it. I appreciate the way you call me a stalker. I appreciate the way you ditch me every chance you get. I appreciate the hateful hurtful things you say. Because they all bring me a little closer to breaking that promise I made a year and nine days ago, to myself, to you, to the whole fucking world. a promise to love you for ever. anyway, what's it matter? Because I sure don't. not to you. not to me. not to anyone. good riddance.

In loving memory,
Paul.
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independenttruckergrl

10-20-04 12:13am

You matter to me.
And to Mark.
And Patrick.
And Lauren.
And Ian.
And Megan.
And Laura.
And lots of other people.

I hate to see you hurt like this.

If there's anything I can do...just call me or something.

<3

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Twitchy

10-20-04 1:07am

I'm sorry ... and I will call soon, life's been hectic

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Anonymous

Vegas, 10-20-04 6:02pm

aww!!!! you matter to me!!
especially since you didn't foget me!!! yay!
im sorry, but that made me happy that I wasnt forgotten

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shroudofrain

10-20-04 8:47pm

PAUL! THINK BEFORE YOU JUMP TO CONCLUTIONS! I understand how you feel. But dont give up so fast. Because thats the last mistake you will ever make. You have survived a life of suffering just as me I am sure. And you know exactly what I am talking about. You have withstood all this shit for years. Are you really going to quite this easily? That is not the Paul I grew up with and tryed my very hardest to take care of just as I have with every one else that I can think of. You need to stop this. Tori is going through some crazy shit now. Probably not as heavey shit as you are going through but close enough. She is confused at the moment and she may need some time to think. Like mabye a month or two to sort everything out before doing anything else, I frankly dont know shit about exactly whats going on but Im pretty sure I have a good idea on whats going on. But again, you need to stop this. Stop acting weak and start acting like the Paul/Aaron that I have known practicly all my life. Start centering more. It will help. I want you to do something. Everyday before going to school, after geting home, and before you go to bed try sitting on your feet (knees infrount of you), center, and take a deep breath. Hold it for about five seconds and then release the air in your lungs. As you do so move slowly bend over and try holding no air in your lungs for another five seconds. Then breath in again. Repeate this process about five times and then tell me how you feel in the next.... week of doing it. Ok? It works for me, it should work for you.

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Anonymous

KiMbO, 10-21-04 8:08pm

Paul..dont hurt youself because of tori. you're the coolest!

(reply to this)
independenttruckergrl

Re: KiMbO, 10-21-04 8:36pm

Yeah!
i agree with kim!

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shroudofrain

10-22-04 11:14am

Hey, I got a question but I cannot ask it on here... call me soon or reply and tell me when is a good time for me to call you. K? I'll talk to you soon, you take care dude.

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shalee

10-22-04 8:14pm

I never called you a stalker. I was standing up for you when everyone else around us said that. And it was a football game. I warned you. I told you I never stay in one place and I run everywhere talking to everyone. It wasnt ditching. I was being the way I always am at football games.

By all means Paul, break your promise! Promises like that are not always meant to be kept. Especially when they'll only make you hurt more. You know I dont love you like that. I cant force myself to, and I'm sorry. I dont know what more to do. I thought you had moved on. You told me you had. Why did you lie?

I just wish you could understand that theres no point in keeping your promise. It's only causing you pain and I feel horrible because it's my fault.

I dont hate you. I never said I did. What I said about you being dramatic at the football game was true, but I never hated you for it.

I'm sorry.

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independenttruckergrl

10-30-04 12:51pm

I'm going to call you later.

My house is very cold.

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independenttruckergrl

Re:, 10-31-04 7:00pm

Ah! I must tell you something.

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-nightsloth-

Re: Re:, 11-02-04 9:05pm

Hm. so the process repaets itself. Paul posts about depressedness. Patrick gives him a motivational speech, Tori denies everything, and kailie scatters short comments that everone ignores. And I sum it up with something wierd in a pathetic attempt to brighten the mood. By the way, you got the word "apprieciate" to livne up vertically 3 times.

apprieciate
apprieciate
apprieciate
apprieciate

I win.

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Anonymous

Re: Re: Re:, 02-22-05 7:08pm

You are a very smart little creature.

I applaude your genius.



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independenttruckergrl

Look!, 07-30-05 8:54pm

It's another short comment everyone will ignore!

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Aaron

Re: Look!, 10-11-05 2:14am

I say this is in spite of you.

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independenttruckergrl

Re: Re: Look!, 10-14-05 12:23am

woha. where'd that come from..


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