Add Memory | Add To Friends
bigben61 (profile) wrote,
on 12-30-2004 at 10:52pm
Current mood: lonely
Music: The Doors
Subject: jahibidu
What it is boys and girls. I haven't updated in a while so i figured what the hey ya know what i mean.Christmas suck, I got the sickest I've ever been in my life christmas eve and remained this way till about tuesday.
Today i worked for 12 hours in my dads factory cleaning and fixing envelope machines, but its cool because i made 80 bucks. I also have to work the all nighter tomarrow night wich is cool i guess, so i will be at lazer skate from 6:30 tomarrw to i think like 10 on saturday.
Lately i've been really confused about alot of stuff, last night i spent hours lying awake in bed having an arguement with myself about some of it. Theres a bunch of things in life i'm just really confused about, but one thing i know for sure is i want to be alot nicer then what i am now. I'm a real jerk and its something i need to work on, i need to be nicer and more open too. I don't like this whole break thing either when i'm not at school i feel really lonely. I know i should just relax and have a good time, i mean i'm young i don't get why I care about the stuff i care about. Especially the fact that i'm looking for a relationship, its really stupid of me to worry about it so much at this age but i do. Also why is it i cry everytime i see a walk to remember, i know what happens yet it always tears me up. Does that make me a little gay? The only reason this entry is so long is because when i started my dad decided to make a phone call. I can't click the little update button when i'm offline so i'm just waiting and while i'm waiting i'm adding stuff. I should just leave it alone and make some tea. Well i just made some tea and hes still talking. The spring play auditions are in a few days and i don't have a song to sing, does it have to be a whole song? or can i just sing i little part of a song, cuz i walk around sing little parts of songs all the time. Whos Scott Bayou? I know the name but i have no idea who he is. I can't believe the score of the Texas Tech - California University game. Its so close, Texas Tech should be destroying them. I probably spelled Scott Bayou's last name wrong. Man this is some really good tea. My dads talking to my uncle in alaska, so this call is gonna cost alot. The Who was a really good band, but you never hear any of there stuff. The radio is evil thats why i'm not listehey family guy is on i'm done now.
Post A Comment


12-31-04 10:37am

Heh, A Walk to Remember is the only movie to ever make me cry. I have no idea why exactly, but good to know I'm not the only one. And it doesn't mean you're gay, so all is well.

I don't think you're a jerk really, you just joke around a little too much I guess. At least you're not an actual jerk like a lot of the guys in Cedar.

(reply to this)


Re:, 12-31-04 2:45pm

like me e....cuz im such a total jerk

(reply to comment)


12-31-04 2:48pm

ben you rock man.....dont change...except you need more superman oriented stuff

(reply to this)


12-31-04 4:14pm

ben you are not a jerk one bit. You are a very nice person. Always ready to listen to anyone who needs you to listen. Thats not a jerkish quality at all. I love you ben.

(reply to this)


12-31-04 5:58pm

oooohh watch my little sister for me ben, get her in lots of trouble!

glad you're feeling better

(reply to this)


01-02-05 6:19pm

you are not a jerk ben! i love you and i can't wait to see you and talk to you tomorrow!


(reply to this)