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mle (profile) wrote,
on 5-6-2005 at 1:20am
i have never felt this awful in my life.

and it's not even like "oh, boo hoo. my life sucks tonight."

this is like... long term


like the end of me long term kind of deal.


like the realization that my plans (not even dreams) are here



















and i'm down here

and nothing i do can ever change it




let's just face the god-awful truth: i am the scum of the earth. my fat/lazy cat has more going for her than i do.


i can't win
i cannot win

i cant even come in second-to-last


i'm the crippled horse that was in the lead, then suddenly realized it was running against non-cripped horses, and kept going, thinking it had a chance.
slowly, the others began to gain on it, and just as it was losing ground with the last one.. its legs collapsed underneath it and it died within 5 feet of the finish line.
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spud

05-09-05 12:10am

i know the feeling. i sadly have not generated such a vivid metaphor, but i have experienced a similar feeling.

just because you don't see the good that comes of your efforts, doesn't mean it's not there. and if it's not there right now, it doesn't mean it won't happen later. just do the best you can. and the best you can isn't always a hell of a lot. but it's the best you can give. and that's okay.

i'll give up my soapbox now...

but if you want ears, or feedback, i'll gladly provide either. sorry i'm not more approachable about crap, or more available to talk in person.

i'm just over here, doing the best i can...

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