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|mle (profile) wrote, |
on 5-6-2005 at 1:20am
|i have never felt this awful in my life.
and it's not even like "oh, boo hoo. my life sucks tonight."
this is like... long term
like the end of me long term kind of deal.
like the realization that my plans (not even dreams) are here
and i'm down here
and nothing i do can ever change it
let's just face the god-awful truth: i am the scum of the earth. my fat/lazy cat has more going for her than i do.
i can't win
i cannot win
i cant even come in second-to-last
i'm the crippled horse that was in the lead, then suddenly realized it was running against non-cripped horses, and kept going, thinking it had a chance.
slowly, the others began to gain on it, and just as it was losing ground with the last one.. its legs collapsed underneath it and it died within 5 feet of the finish line.
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i know the feeling. i sadly have not generated such a vivid metaphor, but i have experienced a similar feeling.