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SeraphimRhapsody (profile) wrote,
on 6-20-2005 at 3:22pm
Subject: ultimatum
I like waking up to your yelling at me.
I like being told how worthless I am.
I like being told that my problems are my own fault and that I should deal with them.
I like being told that I have no point in calling.
I like being told that I shouldn't call when I have no reason.
I like being harrassed and cursed out just because you I was randomly chosen.
I like being yelled at as soon as you come home.
I like that the only words said to me are yelled.
I like being at fault for everything.
I like feeling lower than a dog.

Please, please continue yelling at me. Oh please, it makes the day so much brighter.
You see that sun? Look how brightly it shines! NoNO! Those aren't clouds. There's no rain. That sound? That's the birds chirping! Sure, sounds like a boom to you...but that's just the mockingbirds immitating.
Look at that beautiful day. Who wouldn't want to get up and enjoy that day?

Who says I have no reason?
Maybe I have something I want to need to say but can't? Can't get myself to say. What then? Maybe it's something important like I'm going to die. But you tell me not to keep calling. Fine then. I'll die without you.

Maybe I wasn't randomly chosen. Maybe someone still has it out for me. Maybe they're bringing back some old huge blow out thing. Doesn't matter, they brought it back from my memories for me anyway.

A dog. I feel beneath my puppy because I'm told I couldn't care for him. I couldn't take care of him.

YOU WILL GO DAMMIT! Or I won't live here while you're here.

I will not be in this house with her alone. No dammit. I'll get a hotel room for all I care. Leave me the hell alone.

Please, please continue gutting me. I think the slaughterhouse appreciates the favor.
Please, please continue that underminding. I think the research programs will appreciate the experiments they can perform later.
Please, please continue.
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06-20-05 8:10pm


I probably don't understand the full depth of this, but I'm definitely not just skimming the surface. The yelling never stops, you can never please them. It seems.

I'm here.

You're not worthless.

Don't let them break you, don't let them win.

You're nearly out, just hold on until then.

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Add me?, 06-21-05 5:15pm

Is that a Poem that you made. Well i luv it! It has so much.....Well words cannot describe it. It is too cool! Add me? If so, I'll add you!


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