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|dazed (profile) wrote, |
on 8-2-2005 at 1:47pm
|Jared told me that he loved me. It was last monday. I think at least. anyways, it was brought up by Rachel w. when we were talking on the phone. She was on speaker phone talking to jared and she asked if he was my boyfriend and he was like duh and then she asked "so youl ove her?" and he says "maybe..." and I was soo embarrased. After when we were laying in bed together he asked me what i thought about rachels question. He then asked me how I felt about him and i told him that I care about him a lot. THen he and I talked about being in love and who all he's loved and how we both thought we were in love but the other sperson didn't love them the way they should. The he said " Well, I think i"m falling in love with you" and i said "you think?" and he says "well, it's a two way street" so yeah kind of beautiful huh? So he now tells me he loves me all the time and i love it. A couple weeks ago everything broke down for a whiles. My brother had said at lunch one day that I shoulfdn't be suprised when jared dumps me for kelli. That ruined my whole day I just wanted to ball. I tried to back myself up by saying tha ti Knew he had been there a couple times. and then john went on to say oh.. a COUPLE times.. like jareds been lying to me and going there secretly and cheating on me. SO, I tell jared and he reassures me nothing is going on. It couldn't, I knew that. I'm with him all the time. Now kellies name is like sarah's. It hurts everytime I hear it. It hurts even worse hearing jared say their names. Jared and I have beens eeing each other every single day for a while now. I absolutly love it and i wouldn't have it any other way. We kind of had sex in my bed other then we stopped because it was way to hot upstairs. What am I doing. He tells me he wants to marry me and that we are going to have a lot of kids together and that I'm going to movie and all this stuff. I'm so scared I'm going to get hurt. But when I look at him and see the way he looks at me, my heart melts. He loosk so handsome when he loosk at me. He means the world to me. Withougt him there is nothing. If fosmething ever heappens to us or between us. Life is going to be ghell. Anyways... I love him and morgan even though everytime i look at her i see jessica. There's only one thing that bothers me about him. He still talks to all the girls he's been with. For some reason it kills me to know that. On to a better subject though, I went to his family reunion and it wasn't that bad. There's another one next week ish . He let me broow his bmw to drive home from saranac because i was tired and watned to sleep. Um I met his brother brian and his sister amy. Amy and leslie are really nice. I don't really know brian but maybe I will be able to. Word is spreading that i'm getting married. I tell everyone it's not true just incase plans fall through.|
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