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| fadingintoblue (profile) wrote, on 9-1-2005 at 5:02pm | |
| Current mood: alright Music: "iris" by the goo goo dolls |
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| It's so weird. A few months ago, I was fighting continuous low moments and feeling happy maybe once every couple weeks. I had a couple friends, but spent most of my time alone. School was an exercise in torture. And it's so odd that it's not like that anymore. I'm usually happy and I have friends and I like my classes. But most people here seem to have a lot of friends at home and to have enjoyed high school. Some people don't even really seem to understand what I mean when I say I hated high school. It's not that I'm really having problems here, which was my fear, but that I can't reall escape stuff I left behind. I keep trying to not be closeted, to stand up for myself, not to pretend to be anything I'm not. My group of friends has already had the "do you drink" discussion, and while no one really parties a lot, I seem to be the only one who has something against getting drunk (with the exception of Colin, who isn't in my "group" but is still my friend). And I have more friends now that I ever really have before, and some of them are even the kind I can talk to about important things, and people seem to respect me and no one thinks I have anything wrong with me. But sometimes I still feel like I'm at home, and I wish it wouldn't follow me like this. I'm pretty happy most of the time, but I feel vaguely shadowed. Goucher's still one of the best things that's ever happened to me though. |
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kiwi | yey, 09-01-05 5:27pm I'm happy. And one of the best things, care to tell me the other ones? I'm sorry that you still find things hard sometimes. But everything a person goes through makes them what they are, and you're hell(SHS) made you what you are, and something else will have to change it, you can't do it alone. And you know this already... |
| fadingintoblue | Re: yey, 09-01-05 11:34pm I kinda wish I could wave a magic wand and suddenly not be "damaged" anymore, because that's what I feel like most of the time, stupid as that is. And maybe I should just come to terms with it. I don't know.
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| kiwi | Re: Re: yey, 09-02-05 4:31pm Eh... i don't think of you as "damaged", maybe... afflicted, but never damaged. Some day those traits might help you... maybe.
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