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:: 2006 30 December :: 3.05 pm
:: Mood: not thinking about moods right now

I just felt like updating this journal. Haha I updated the other two and I guess I thought this one needed some lovin'

There is a rabid bat in my basement and I need to clean my room. I should really do my homework and practice french horn. Breaks are too short and expectations too high. Hmm... only one more winter break in my high school career. I can't really see winter breaks being better in college though. I don't think my expectations for college in general will really be met. Who knows... I should go do stuff


:: 2006 17 December :: 10.21 pm

Sooo, way back when in like 2003 I did this survey. I kind of want to see hwo I've changed

(1) The singular boring question: What is your name? Catherine
(2) If you had been born a member of the opposite sex, what would your name have been? They hadn't picked a boy's name yet
(3) Would you name a child of yours after you? I don't want children
(4) If you had to switch first names with a friend of yours, who would you switch with? Rachel
(5) What's the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name? umm... supposedly my last name is hard to hear over the phone...
(6) If you were to become famous, would you drop your last name (like Madonna, Cher, Roseanne)? It doesn't sound right with just my first name

(7) Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell? No
(8) Do you think God has a gender? If it existed, No
(9) Do you think science counteracts religion? I don't know
(10) Do you believe in organized religion? No
(11) Where do you think we go when we die? Who knows, maybe we're reincarnated, maybe we are disperseed throughout the universe, maybe we jsut cease to exist
(12) Do you feel a little funny thinking about the questions in this section? Not really, I think about them sometimes, but I don't nessarily like it

(13) How easy is it to make you laugh? Depends on who you are
(14) What person you know makes you laugh the most? no one person
(15) Do you laugh at jokes you know you shouldn't? Do love scenes count as jokes?
(16) Do you tell jokes you know you shouldn't? Dead baby jokes anyone?
(17) What words instantly make you laugh or at least smile? Umm... none anymore, I think
(18) What do you think is the funniest thing you've ever said or written? 'i feel sorry for you. *pause* And your lunch' <- uh that was what I said last time and that's pretty good, though I have no memory of it. "my love for you is like a nazi concentration camp" is pretty good too.

(19) Do you ever dance to music when nobody's watching? YES
(20) What is/are the worst song(s) you have ever heard? The calculus song
(21) What song(s) do you wish you could understand a little better? haha love songs
(22) What song(s) are constantly in your head? right now? bright eyes
(23) What song(s) do you think describe your personality best? I don't know when but a day's gonna come <- because it's what I think too
(24) If you were to serenade the object of your affections, which song(s) would you use? wow, last time I said I'd never do that. Depends on the person, right now? A lover I don't have to love (haha)
(25) If the object of your affections were to serenade you, what song(s) would you hope he or she used? please not a generic love song?

(26) What movie(s) do you love that nobody else seems to? Overnight Delivery? Monkey Bone?
(27) Do you agree with the idea that sequels are always worse than the original? More often then not
(28) Who's your favorite Star Wars character? Ummm... I haven't watched those in such a long time...
(29) What kind of movie do you think there should be more of? Movies like Monty Python or Kevin Smith... or fight club
(30) What movie(s) do you simply not understand the appeal of? BORAT

(31) When eating, are you more concerned with taste or healthiness? depends... both equally
(32) What's your favorite kind of cheese? chevre
(33) What do you think your answer to the previous question reveals about your personality? I like french chese? I'm highbrow? I'm a cheese eating freak?
(34) If you knew exactly what went into Chinese food, hamburger meat, etc., would you still eat it? Umm... yea. But I'm going veggie when I go to college anyway
(35) Do you ever feel guilty eating meat? Yea sometimes

(36) Mac or PC? PC (currently debating with geeks whether I should get a mac)
(37) How much do you actually care about the inner workings of your computer, as long as it works? I care some, I want to know what's going on int there
(38) Do you ever begin preferring IMs to other forms of conversation? Hahaha, yes! Way better than texts (they're free for one) and I hate the phone, partly becuase I get no service in my house.
(39) Do you find you're different talking through IMs than face-to-face or on the telephone? With some people yes,
(40) Have you ever ended bid on something on eBay and regretted it later?
"nope because i've never bidded on anything" <- still never have

(41) Have you ever wished you could experience being the other gender? "noo (bad dream about that)" <- haha I remember that dream. No not really
(42) What do you love most about the other gender? How they like to pretend everything is okay and tell dirty jokes
(43) What do you dislike most about the other gender? their smell
(44) What do you understand least about the other gender? Why some of them think I'm pretty or nice...

(45) Do you sometimes see a movie or watch a show just because a good-looking celebrity is in it? Yees... (johnny depp)
(46) What celebrity's autograph do you want most? Julia Stiles
(47) Have people ever said you looked like a celebrity, and if so, who? Yea... once or twice, but I can't remember who
(48) If there was to be a movie about you, who do you think should play you (in personality, looks or both)? I don't think there should be a movie about me... BOOK!
(49) Does it ever annoy you when you know someone is a celebrity but you can't remember why? hahaha YES (paris hilton anyone?)
(50) If you could enter any celebrity's mind like in "Being John Malkovich", whose would you enter? Heath Ledger... and make him dye his hair brown again...
(51) Do you want to be John Malkovich? um, I don't really know who he is

(52) Do you laugh when you hear or read the number 69? no (though now I understand it's significance)
(53) Were you lying about your answer to the previous question? no (still not)
(54) Do you actually know your Social Security Number? no (not yet in college)
(55) Do you actually know your IP address? HAHAHA No... not that much of a nerd (apperently I was nerdier...)
(56) Do you know what an IP address is? Of course I do, I'm not stupid
(57) Do you know the four-character extension on your ZIP code? Uh... no, but I could guess
(58) Ever thought there were too many numbers floating around in our lives? yes (cough cough grades)
(59) Does your head begin to hurt when you think of infinity, imaginary numbers, irrational numbers, etc.? depends, am I in pre-calc? Because then, YES
(60) What do you think of pi? If only it were never discovered... then I wouldn't have all these formulas.

(61) Did you get a little frightened or uncomfortable seeing this as a section title? Um... a little
(62) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel? a little uncomfortable
(63) Do you prefer getting to know someone first before dating them or going in "blind"? blind, you can learn more then
(64) Could you carry on a relationship with someone with the same first name as a family member? I kind of did...
(65) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out? I have asked a guy out...
(66) What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? Why not, have some fun
(67) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive? (wow I used to be a huge bitch) Uh, kind of
(68) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good-looking? Apperently at least two do
(69) Would you be willing to give up sex in exchange for an emotional commitment you knew would last? I'd give sex for a lot less than that
(70) Do you think the number of the last question was a coincidence? You have too much time on your hand, quizmaster (<- guess the refrence there)

(71) What is your favorite possession? My teddy bear
(72) What physical, tangible possession do you want most? HVC
(73) How badly do you want it? Very much so
(74) Have you ever seen 'The Exorcist'? nope
(75) How long did it take you to understand why the last question is in this section? Uh... apperently I've gotten stupider... I used to know, but now I don't. Anyone care to explain?

(76) Does Christmas music too far away from Christmas annoy you? YES
(77) How old do you think you will be before you stop liking getting older? ... 15
(78) What was the best Halloween costume you ever had? PROSTITUTE
(79) What was the worst Halloween costume you ever had? Bob
(80) What holiday do you think has still managed to retain its original meaning? Passover
(81) There are currently no federal holidays during August- what should be put there? I don't care, I'm off of school already. Lets add something to nov.... or feb.

(82) How good is your short-term memory? Sharp as a knife
(83) How good is your long-term memory? Depends on how far back
(84) What is your earliest memory? I have this memory of me that's like a dream... btu I can't think of it now
(85) What is your happiest memory (other than recieving this survey)? Outward bound
(86) What is your strangest memory? my memories of the future
(87) What song, movie, etc. do you wish you could memorize? Good Will Hunting

(88) What movie makes/made you cry? Toooo many
(89) What book makes/made you cry? A lot make me want to cry, but I won't let them!
(90) What song makes/made you cry? Emo songs... stupid emo boys
(91) What makes/made you laugh so hard you cried? still friends

(92) Would you like to be cloned? that's be horrible
(93) Do you wish you could be alive when the world was ending, just to experience it? If I wasn't in danger... then yes. And if it wasn't religious then yea
(94) Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango? crap i wish i could remember what words came after that

(95) Do you think that one hundred and one questions is too long? It was how long!
(96) Do you think the one hundred interesting questions actually were interesting? NOOOOOO
(97) Are you sorry you began filling it out? ... nah
(98) What question do you wish it had asked? Is it ok to go ass to mouth?
(99) How would you have answered it? In the heat of the moment, sometimes it happens

(100) When was the last time you let the people you love know you love them? Too long
(101) What do you want the people who are reading this survey to know? I love you?


:: 2006 17 December :: 10.09 pm
:: Music: Bright Eyes

So I finally managed to get log in and change some things on this old old journal. I was just thinking about when Woohu was bought out... and we all paid five dollars to keep our journals, for free for ever. That was actually a really cool deal. I kind of just realized that... yea I'm smart.

So I'm totally just avoiding writing my history essay. yea... great. I need to write that soon, considering it's due tomorrow. I burnt my tongue on my mommy's meatloaf... I can't believe I waited until nine for that. Meh...

1 rebuttal | response?

:: 2006 23 May :: 6.03 pm
:: Music: Wezer- Freak me Out

am i that annoying?
Yea! Emoness for my emotions.

Ok so I'm kind of angry right not. And confused, adn hurt. But I don't even know if I should be. So my friend is having a kind of 17th bday at another friends house due to space. I didn't even know about it till today by the way. But the way I found out? My one friend doesn't think she's going to go anymore becuase she won't be able to drink there. it's stupid that someone ratted her out. But whatever different story. Yea... i didn't get invited. And it kind of pisses me off. Like I know I'm not perfect and I'm not the best pary guest. And I know that I kind of get attention. But I don't try to! I think sometimes it's jsut my nature to attract attention but I'm rather content sitting down doing nothing. I don't know. But I really thought I was friends with that person. And I hate it. Becuase a while ago I thought the same thing adn then stuff happened and I thought we really were friends again. But I guess not. Whatever. It's jsut annoying. I really don't get invited to things often within this little group adn it is really starting to piss me off. I don't want to ask becuase I don't like it. it's jsut painful and kind fo annoying. I never thought I was that irritating. I wish someone would tell me if I really was.

1 rebuttal | response?

:: 2006 26 April :: 10.36 pm
:: Mood: sad

I'm so insecure about my friends. it's just stupid, and I know it's stupid as I say things and before I say things but I let myself say them... I'll live. Maybe I need to be more pro-active. But the fact that I might need to be more pro-active is kind fo what depresses me. Oddly enough, except not oddly enough. Argh...

1 rebuttal | response?

:: 2006 28 January :: 11.17 pm

Somedays I feel like I don't have many friends around me anymore. I feel like the popel i go to school with aren't really friends... just acquintances, adn all my real friends are sprinkled about. They all have real friends where they are... but I'm left without. It's a weird feeling. One I don't particularly like.


:: 2005 1 December :: 9.23 pm
:: Music: Ally and Meg's Sweet 16 Mix

I'm glad I'm not named Reber
I'm such a dork compared to my brother... I definately am a cross between my brother and sister in a big way. I... want to be more like my brother, but at the moment I'm more like my sister. I think... I'm never sure, because there is so much i don't know about my sister. But I was talking to my brother on the phone, since he's leaving for Iraq soon, so he's trying to get in some more conversations.( I also feel bad for never calling him... or anything) But so I asked him when he started experimenting and he told me that it was freshman year for him. I'm trying to get some stuff, just now... I don't know. But I WILL get some stuff and hopefully get high before xmas. Perferablly JR would come with it. But quite possibly not... *shurgs* I don't know maybe I should just tell JR the truth... would that work? OK but drugs. I'm gonna try and talk to JR about it again this week, and try and get some stuff this week or next. Maybe I can convince JR to help me out (!) my first time, if not I'll call Kristen over. I don't want to... waste too much money because xmas is just around the corner, but I plan on making most fo the stuff anyway, so... you know. Does the truth work with boys? Argh... why isn't there some fool-proof plan. Though since I'm more than a fool I'd probably mess it up... I hate being nervous.

5 rebuttals | response?

:: 2005 2 November :: 6.26 pm
:: Music: Sim Shalom

*tear* I was tagged
Argh, I was tagged, by someone on live journal! Humph. Oh well. Thing s that make me happy

1) Reading good books
2)Doing stupid things with friends
3)Changing my hair color
4)Talking late at night

Liz, you're it!

3 rebuttals | response?

:: 2005 23 October :: 9.59 pm
:: Music: Weezer- Make believe

Some days i'm superstious
If you like some one right now and just wanna hug, kiss, take a nap, watch a movie , and cuddle, with and can' t get her/him out of your head then re - post this within 10 minutes and who ever you are wanting will surprise you tomorrow


:: 2005 18 October :: 11.19 pm

yes, this used to be a chain letter
I've seen this a couple of times. And I like it. I think it's pretty much true, adn it's sweet. But I don't do chain letters. I don't really believe in them, and I don't want to amke my friends _have_ to post it. So I've never done this before. The buck stops here... but sometimes I _can_ be a little superstious... and it never defined post. Plus I like it. It's sweet. I really love whoever came up with it.

18 tips about girls:

1. If you like Her .. ASK HER OUT already.!!!!!!!!

2. when you hug her, put YOUR ARMS around her WAIST and hold her close.

3. when you WALK next to her, get as CLOSE as you can to her.

4. if she's the only one in your life, TELL HER.

5. ALWAYS let her know how much you like her, love her, or think about

6. give her presents and cards for no reason, SHE WILL RETURN THE

7. if she hangs up on you, call her right back.

8. always offer to pay, if she says NO twice, then let her pay but
make a deal that you get to pay next time (date offer too!).

9. kiss her lightly every chance you get.

10. look in her eyes and kiss her on the lips, forehead, or nose.

11. if she says she's cold, don't be an idiot and say "me too" and
stand there, give her your jacket or just simply hold her in your arms.

12. don't force her to do anything she's not comfortable with.

13. invite her to dinner or somewhere where you can talk, instead of

14. try not to ask her if she's mad at you EVERY TIME you speak to her.

15. Always tell her you LOVE her ONLY IF U REALLY MEAN IT!!!!.

16. DON'T pressure her to do anything she isnt READY to do. When she is
ready, she will let you know. She just wants everything to be more SPECIAL
and PERFECT. So appreciate what she does do with you.

17. DON'T' go and tell your friends anything that happens between you
two, cause it will hurt her and make her mad...and it will NEVER happen

18. Call her .. girls love to be called or just send little text messages to them, this will make them think about you all day !!!

Little facts about girls :

When a GIRL is quiet, Millions of things are running through her

When a GIRL is not arguing, She is thinking deeply.

When aGIRL looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a GIRL answers "I'm fine" after a few seconds, she is not at all fine.

When a GIRL stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a GIRL lays on your chest, She is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a GIRL wants to see you everyday, She wants to be

When a GIRL says I love you, she means it.

When a GIRL says "i miss you", no one in this world can miss you more than that.


:: 2005 17 October :: 6.06 pm
:: Music: weezer

I think I've realized why I don't really post on deviantart, or myspace, or here, or anywhere really. Because I either don't want ot be found, like here, or I really want people to comment and no one does, like on deviantart, and that depresses me. I put up my pretty brainstorm thing, which actaully took me quite a while and that I really like, and no one, not a single person said anything about it. I mean only five people looked at it! And only three of them made it bigger to see all the detail... that's very very depressing. Somedays i don't like the internet.


:: 2005 28 August :: 6.35 pm
:: Mood: annoyed

... randomness
Why can't anyone but me seem to be able to read my font! It's perfectly fine. grrr, this was never brought up before. I think you're computers are funny. And liz, in case you don't remember I can't change anything on my journal on this computer. So no I can't change my font, fuck you. grrrrrrrrr... Last time I used your computer to change it! If I felt truely motivaed maybe I would use my father's or see if i can crack the code on my brothers, but I don't. I like sitting at my computer and doing things. And it pisses me off that woohu won't let me change sign in on the 'puter. Andy wasn't much help when i emailed him either, he said to make sure the password was right, of course it's right I CAN POST! Whatever.
I want my stuff from MyMy, I'm super impatient. and it doesn't help that she has an order trakcing list up becuase i jsut check it compusively. Bad mind! And there's no way she had sent my order on the 24th (the last send date) because my stuff probably didn't even get there til the 25th... maybe something in ym order isn't there yet. She did start a new job. i should learn to be patient. Of course I've been saying for years I should eat healthier and I don't do that either. Argh, I really really really want that stuff.
Oh and my posting of finished crafts is not happening for a while. because I don't have access to a digital camera or a scanner, or for that matter a picture phone. So the lovely crafts I'm doing, and they are lovely, will just have to go without any love from the crafting world. And I'm not keeping most of them. There's the stuff I'm making for the swap, the book I recovered I'm giving to Julianna and then the book I'm going to make for Beth and me to use. *pout* I wonder if any of my friends (still living around here) would be kind enough to lend any of that equipment to me... for like a month.
Sharpie irrates me. I should go craft, my back hurts.
It's dark...

1 rebuttal | response?

:: 2005 13 August :: 11.18 am
:: Mood: unmotivated
:: Music: Secondary- Brand New

I feel so unmotivated right now. There are all these things to do around me. I wouldn't have to even get up to do most of them. Some I need to do some I want to do... but, I just, don't want to right now. I'd rather jsut sit around and just listen to this radio station and ignore any resposibilties or tasks laying around me. I don't want to read, don't want to surf the net (it's been getting progressively more boring to me), i don't want to draw, don't wan tto practice for band camp, don't want to work on the stuff for the swap (done with most of it though), don't want ot get dressed, don't want to sleep, don't want to eat, don't relly wnat to move. I hate this. It jsut doesn't work. There are so many things I want to do, either with my life or just before school starts, but these unmotivated periods are so frequent I feel like I'll never get anything done. And despite the fact I know that I can't do anything about it. Because if I force myself to do it, I just... won't. I'll do it for all of five minutes, then decide I'm too bored and drift back to nowhere. Shouldn't there be something i always want to do? Something that even when I'm feeling unmotivated sounds intresting? Why can't I find it? Isn't there supposed to be that one thing that will mnake me feel better or invovled, or... just, I don't know feel? I don't really feel like anything right now. My brain is buzzing with a vague pain. Maybe it's because i've been avoiding my thoughts lately because they've been to painful to think about. I keep feeling weird things about my friends. The things I should be thinking about are jsut not what I want to. Right now I'd prefer to be in denial and ignoring those presistant thoughts knocking at my concious door. Without somehtign that intrests me it gets harder adn harder to ignore them. I'm not ready for those thoughts though... I know what they are and I don't want to except what I'm thinking. It's probably wrong anyway. And since it's about feeling like I'm distancing myself from people to aviod them leaving me for other people, or jsut my stupid insecurites I don't really wnat to talk about it to my friends... because I'm sure the response will be something like "we'd never leave you Katie" or some stupid shit like that. I know what they are going to say, and I know I'll probably won't talk to most of them when I'm in college and even less when I'm out of college... so what the fuck is the point of thinking of this. But this doesn't change the buzzing in my head. Maybe I just need to suck it up and do something.

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