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| freaky (profile) wrote, on 12-11-2005 at 11:47pm | |
| Today was rather....I dont know actually. So I got up somewhere in the afternoon. I started working on my portfolio which has to be finished before wednesday. So I'm gonna finish it tomorrow, just gotta write a little bit more in my biography. Well rest of the day I didn't do much. Then there was Bianca and she told me she bought a webcam today. So we both got on webcam. She's a kewl person actually. I don't know her taste for music and I don't really care. She's not boring thats for sure, she's not a total slut either and she can be weird. I don't know, she's just fun to talk to and a nice friend if you ask me. Sammy is a good friend aswell. And well a while ago Dani came back online aswell and talked to me, she said she missed me. Yeah right. I havn't talked to her for ages. Ah well. And Angie havn't talked to her aswell for a long time but talked to her aswell a while ago. Not really the best conversation ever though, I told her I skipped school and she tells me I suck. Well duh...I already was feeling guilty bout the fact that I skipped school and then she comes and tells me that I suck cause of that. That got me pissed so I told her to go fuck herself and signed out. Pfffffffff..... I don't know whats going on lately but all the people that I seemed to talk to on MSN are coming back and I wanna talk to them again. I don't know why. I told myself that I'm gonna work hard, I'm gonna go to school everyday and get good grades. I told myself that I don't suck, I don't feel depressed and I can do all this shit. I don't know if it helped but I sure hope it does. I need to fucking do this. I promised Gaby I would help her get the life she wanted. Freedom. It's harder then I expected and I just hope I can help her. I don't really care bout myself in all this cause I know Gaby will do fine without me aswell. Aslong as I get her that far. Why do I feel so different with her then with any other girl. With every girl I feel like I wanna flirt with them, try turn them on but never really do anything.....but with Gaby I just wanna respect her, give her the feeling that she's someone. I treat her as a person and not as someone to play with. Sometimes I'd wish I could play with her like any other girl but then I know I don't deserve her anymore... that I don't treat her the way I should. Maybe I'm doing something wrong. It would be kewl if she could tell me some stuff aswell. I don't know, like the way she feels, sinfull feelings. It's like she never does anything wrong....I mean not really wrong. I do wrong stuff....hell, I do wrong stuff. I flirt with girls over the internet, which is wrong since I love Gaby, but it's so much damn fun to play with them. Basiclly just making me a horny bastard. Not that I get into any shit. I mean come on.... I'm an asshole, if Gaby did the same shit to me I'd go nuts of jealousy. So why am I doing what I do? It's not fair to her. I need her to tell me something I can work with. Something that helps me.... something.....ugh I don't even know. Just need something from her. |
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| Anonymous | it's dani..., 12-12-05 1:56pm omg I have recieved the privelige of getting in your journal!!! wow...I must really be special (ed)!
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Freaky | Re: it's dani..., 12-12-05 6:33pm Like what? =S |