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moonshinehommie (profile) wrote,
on 4-12-2006 at 7:38pm
Subject: a little confused

where to start the past couple of weeks have been really hard on me it just felt like I was losing everything that I had and then some. Me and Corey have been having some problems (but don't worry we figured them out now) mostly because we don't talk about anything that is bothering us when it is bothering us...we just kind of let it settle for a while and then it goes away untill something else happens and then it just starts to pile up and then.....KABOOOOOOMMMM! all of sudden where pissed as hell and neither one of us really knows what the real problem is.

So it got to the point last week where I didn't even know if I wanted to be with him anymore.....which is really devestating to think that maybe this really is the right thing to know the whole marrige thing and all. but finally we just sat down for like three hours and talked....really talked not like that simi shit you normally do but really talked. and now it seems as if things are working out a little better. there are still some snags and still I wonder if I could have thought of leaving him in the first place does that me that maybe we shouldn't be together....then I think well thats just probably my insecurities talking again...and we all know that theres a lot of those in me. THANKS DAD.

and then......

I don't nothing against you jess and I mean that sencerly...but I saw that he wrote in your what the hell...why is he checking up on you...if he says that I am the only one for him and he never thinks about leaving me and absolutly never thinks about other girls then why is he still reading your journal??? maybe it's just plain curosity I thought to myself but then..........he gave you his im name I didn't even have know...what the hell. Im over-exagerating again aint I?? who knows maybe he'll read this and go "hmmm. wonder if I should talk to her about this." and then he won't.

what to do what to do. why does like have to be so damn complicating? I wish it would have come with a guide book so when something like this came along you would just pull out that 3,000 something paged book thats collecting dust on the bottom of your closet floor and look up everything that is bothering you so you would no exacally how to fix the problem with out ever worring about it another minute. wouldn't that be nice.

well now that I probably pissed a coulple of people off ....

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04-12-06 8:15pm

isn't the bible that book? har har har. if there was a book like that it definetly wouldn't be collecting dust in anyone's closet.

about the rest. didn't piss me off, don't worry about that. i was suprised when i saw that he replied myself, but don't make anything off it. i read all of my old boyfriend's journal, not that i would consider him my old boyfriend or anything, and it's not because i want to be unfaithful to marty, it's just curisoity about what is going in the life of someone you once cared for. we chated this morning, and it was nothing but "hey, what's going on in your life?" kind of stuff.

i know how it goes when you are deciding if you should spend the rest of your life with someone. my advice? take your time. finish school. grow as a couple. but let the marriage thing sit on the back burner. i wish i would have.

i love you, kd. i'll be living closer in a month or so. hopefully we can spend some time together and you can see your (sort-of) niece. i want to be ther to support you when you need it, and to be that phone call when you are pissed off.

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04-19-06 10:27am

wow kadie, i hope things get better.
not trying to offend you or anything but maybe your letting yourself get to you.
I dunno, relax a little bit.

sorry if it doesn't help.

-Justin from howies.

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