05-26-06 9:20am

what are you talking about? did brooke tell you things?

because yes, i did "cheat" on you but in my mind we were broken up. you thought you were still my boyfriend, but I had broken up with you. and I regretted it. and I hate myself for it. but it doesn't matter. nothing matters anymore.

i don't think about it anymore. i doesn't bother me because i've accepted it was a bad thing, i take full responsiblity for it and i've moved on. i'm just done.

and brooke... i still keep your secrets. you're a fucking bitch to not keep mine.

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Re:, 05-26-06 10:41am

wow, that's a really way to justify your wandering eye, but I still can't believe what you did. Why the fucking hell did you even start thinking about other boys when we were going out? And no, you haven't taken responsibility for it, otherwise you would have been honest with me about it. Plus you made such a big deal of me moving on and dating others when we actually did break up, and you act all hurt, and as if it was the worst possible thing I could ever do to you, yet it was what you had apparently already done and to a worse degree. I hope the demon just eats you from the inside out.....

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Re: Re:, 05-26-06 6:20pm

what demon?

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Re: Re: Re:, 05-26-06 8:31pm

now you have a reason to hate me.
you had no reason before.
this is justification for me.
you hurt me. worse than anyone has ever hurt me. for that i hate you. i can't stand that you exist.
now, in my mind, you have a reason to hate me. now it's not driving me crazy that you became such a fucking bitch for no apparent reason.

and he's my best friend. i can't keep things like that from him anymore.

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Re: Re: Re:, 05-27-06 6:09am

whatever one convinced you it was okay to destroy the good we had together

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05-27-06 6:13pm

I don't believe the good you had together will ever fade from your memories. Don't let that happiness fade from your mind because a relationship like yours won't ever truly end. I hope that you both can be friends after this and try to remember how good it used to be.
The constraints of distance and time apart really put a strain on your relationship which couldn't be undone. You both were obviously very lonely and wanted some comfort. Its only human. You don't have to like a decision, only understand it...and based off of understanding can you really react to it.
Your anger is completely justified.
she is also justified. She thought the relationship was over, and it only takes one to end it. She obviously believed the relationship was over, she went out with other men. a "so unsure about us" comment usually is the other person already feeling that the relationship won't work and has really already moved on and doesn't want to hurt the other's feelings.
I don't mean to sound condescending, I just don't someone calling my girlfriend a whore. So please try to be a bit nicer to her, because she deserves your respect, not your malice.
"Words themselves mean nothing, it is the meaning that is behind them"-Kirk

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Re:, 05-28-06 1:43am

I understand you care for her, and I do appreciate you sticking up for her, thats a job very well done. Sorry for calling her a whore. You're right though, it's not the words, but the intention and anger that I really wanted to get across. There is a past here that I am still trying to figure out, so I'm gonna have to ask you to let me figure it out with her, not on a via with you and what you think and believe. Yea, she does deserve respect, but so do I, and a lot of comm that I have gotten from her in the recent past has been malice, and I didn't see you trying to help stop her from expressing that anger in a much nicer tone. Thank you for your concern. I need your respect in letting me handle things with her in a more logical way and just figuring it all out.

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