She's not a girl who misses much
Do do do do do do, oh yeah
She's well acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand
Like a lizard on a window pane

The man in the crowd with the multicoloured mirrors
On his hobnail boots
Lying with his eyes while his hands are busy
Working overtime
A soap impression of his wife which he ate
And donated to the National Trust

I need a fix 'cause I'm going down
Down to the bits that I left uptown
I need a fix cause I'm going down
Mother Superior jump the gun
Mother Superior jump the gun
Mother Superior jump the gun
Mother Superior jump the gun
Mother Superior jump the gun
Mother Superior jump the gun

Happiness (is a warm gun)
Bang Bang Shoot Shoot
Happiness (is a warm gun, momma)
Bang Bang Shoot Shoot

(When I hold you in my arms)
Oooooooooh, oh yeah!

And when I feel my finger on your trigger
Oooooooooh, oh yeah!

I know nobody can do me no harm
Oooooooooh, oh yeah!

Happiness (is a warm gun, momma)
Bang Bang Shoot Shoot

Happiness (is a warm gun)
Bang Bang Shoot Shoot

Yes it is, gun!
Happiness (is a warm gun)
Bang Bang Shoot Shoot

Happiness (is a warm gun)
is a warm gun, yeeeaahhh!

Song lyrics with some minor changes.
I want a guy with lips like morphine
Knock me out every time they touch me
I wanna feel that kiss just crush me
And break me down

Knock me out!
Knock me out!

Cuz I've waited for all my life
To be here with you tonight

I want a guy with lips like morphine
Blow a kiss that leaves me gasping
I want to feel that lightning strike me
And burn me down

Knock me out!
Knock me out!

Cuz I've waited for all my life
To behere with you tonight
Just put me on my back
Knock me out again

Oh, I want a guy with lips like morphine
Knock me out everytime they touch me
I want a girl with lips like morphine
To knock me out

See I've waited for all my life
To be here with you tonight
Just put me on my back
Knock me out again.

good times, good times.
Spent last night with Jess. We just hung out, watched Dog the Bounty Hunter, made brownies, ate peanuts, and drank a little. Fun night. :]

Fourth of July
Yeah so, things have been going great. I've been watching Bree for Aunt Judy and Uncle Rich, so I'm earning money. Then I'm getting more at the end of the week. I'm going to Sand Lake for Fourth of July, and I think Brendon's going with me. He said he wants to, he's just got to check and make sure. So, it should be fun. Hang out, walk around the carnival, and watch the fireworks. But, I better go. Bye.

News
Well, only a couple people have heard aside from my mom and dad, but I have an announcement. Calm down, I'm not pregnant. Ready? Ok, I'll tell you. I'm going back to school to get my diploma this coming Fall. I am not going to the regular High School though. I hate that school, alot of the staff, and alot of the student body. I am going to CTA. Creative Technologies Academy. Well, we still have to enroll me in August and I hope I can go there, but if they accept me, then I will be happy. There is still that lazy part of me that doesn't want to wake up early in the morning, get dressed, walk to school, do boring work, then come home tired. But, I need an education to get anywhere in life, so I am taking action and going back to school. I have to keep my enthusiasm and effort up, because in the long run, going to school everyday is worth it. And I think that I just didn't realise that when I was staying home and skipping all the time. I need to buckle down, as my dad would say. I used to hate that expression and when he used it I wanted to punch him, but he's right. I need to graduate. So, I just figured I would let you guys know that I am going back to school. But, I have to go. Bye.

-Samm
Wish me luck!

Shopping, Surprise Anniversary party, and a cook out.
Well, this was a pretty good weekend. We got to my grandparent's house on Friday night, and just relaxed. Then Saturday morning I woke up at 7:30am, got dressed, ate a bowl of cereal, did my make up then took off with my Grandma. We went to Goodwill, Cato's, Dollar Tree, and Wal-Mart, all in Ionia. I got a couple shirts, A hippie necklace with a peace sign on it(made of wood and hemp), a bracelet, nail art, nail polish, cosmetic wedges, sun glasses(rockstar shades, let me tell you), and one of my alllll time favourite movies, un rated and special edition....."The Boondock Saints". Hells to the yes. So, I am extremely happy right now. I watched it today, and laughed my ass off. My favourite part is when they come down through the cieling, tanlged up in rope, and they kill the mob people, then the brother that bought the rope looks at his brother and mockingly says "What do you need your stupid fucking rope for huh?". HaHa. So, everything went well this weekend. And after shopping yesterday, we went to my Aunt Tina's for a surprise anniversary party for my Grandparents 40th wedding anniversary. And today for Father's Day, we just had my Aunt and Uncle over for a cook out. The only bad part about this weekend was I finished my book so I had nothing else to read, and my Pokemon game on my GameBoy froze up, so I had to start all over. But, today was good. And it ended with the best thing. Being held by Brendon and him giving me kisses. But, better go. Bye.

-Samm

Wow, this guy is....Amazing.
I can't believe the difference in mine and Brendon's relationship. I look at the times we've tried before, and it just amazes me that this time it's working out, very well I might add. We see each other everyday, we watch movies, play volleyball, other things no one should know about..HaHa. Then I also love that he gets along with ALL my siblings. That's usually pretty hard. Him and Dylan get along great. They play War games together, him and Brie laugh and talk in funny accents. Him and Tanna play ball and talk. And him and Ava play, talk, watch TV together, etc. He's a total sweet heart and I love everything about him. We don't fight or bring up topics we differ on just to annoy each other, we've grown up. I love spending time with him...soooo much. When I see him my heart beats faster, When he kisses me or just holds me I get butterflies in my stomach and it's always hard to contain my smiles when I'm around him. He makes me smile, laugh, feel amazing about myself and everything else. We could be in a war zone, but as long as his arms are around me and he's kissing me on the forehead, I wouldn't care. I'd be smiling. But, I have to go. Bye.

-Samm

one word: OMIGOD!!!

It's early.
Well, today I am going with Kayliegh, Grandma, Dan, Chase, Derek, and a friend of Chase's choice on a "surprise vacation" thing. Kayliegh will probably be over around 10 to pick me up. I still have some packing to do, although I did most of it last night. I mostly have to just pack my pillows, a blanket, some clothes, and maybe some other things, I'm not sure.But, we'll be gone until late Tuesday. It should be fun. I don't know why, but I am feeling pretty sick to my stomach right now. I just feel like at any mintue I could throw up, nauseous. Or however you spell that. HaHa. I got to talk to Brendon for a couple minute last night, he said camping sucks without me. Well Brendon, you should have let me talk to Ryan directly so I could know the real time line of this camping trip. Unfortunately it wasn't from Saturday to Sunday, it was from Friday to Monday. Yeah, my mom was already having a hard enough time letting me go with boys over night, but 3 nights, no way in hell. So Brendon, your loss. HaHa. But, I better go. I have to switch over the laundry and pack some of my remaining things. Bye.

-Samm

Birthday!!!!
Well, it's my birthday. Brie and Dylan got me presents and gave them to me last night. Here they are:
Brie- Vanilla Sugar candle, Orange cranberry candle, and a card.
Dylan- 2 starbucks vanilla coffees, cotton candy, 8 pack of fun size snickers, and a card.

Aubri also came over today and gave me a book, a canvas panel, tubes of acrylic paints, and she straightened my hair. Brendon's supposed to come over, but I called 20 minutes ago and guess what...he's sleeping. I told him not to sleep late. But, I knew he would. Whatever. I'm kind of bored though. I already painted on the canvas panel. The background is black and I painted white and purple flowers all over it. My mom loves it. I'm pretty proud of it. Aubri said it's gorgeous, so, ego boost for me. HaHa. I'm all done up, hair, make up, dressed, but I have nowhere to go. I'll probably call Brendon again and have them actually wake him up. But, we are having my birthday dinner and brownies tonight. Then I am opening the presents my mom and Doug got for me. My mom keeps teasing me, making me over-excited. She keeps saying "You're going to love your presents". HaHa. But, better go. Bye.

-Samm

Birthday Fun
Well, last night was a bomb ass night. Me and Kayliegh had Taco Bell for dinner, then we went to the movies, then came home and played video games. We saw "X-Men Origins: Wolverine". I looooooved it. Especially when Hugh Jackman was butt naked running around, HaHa. The movie was pretty badass, if you ask me. Then, I'm not sure what the name of the video game is, but it has to do with Samurais and fighting, and that was a kickass game. I ate too much though. HaHa. I ate more than half the bag of Medium popcorn to myself, then continued eating donuts and soup at Kayliegh's. It was an awesome night overall. And I want to say Thank you sooooo much again Kayliegh. I had alot of fun and I really appreciate it. Even when you were calling me whore and bitch, it still made me happy. HaHa. But, tomorrow is my birthday, and it's the only time where I will actually be opening wrapped presents. Everyone else took me shopping, went to the movies, or gave me money. Nothing wrong with that though, just stating that my mom actually wants me to open presents. I told her just going shopping would be fine with me, but, she wants me to open something. Then, even though I'm not supposed to eat it, we are having chili for my birthdy dinner. And I'm not much of a cake person, I like brownies more, so we are having those brownies with cream cheese mixed in them. But, my birthday is going to sort of be celebrated again in June. Like I have wrote before, me and my Grandma H. are going shopping, and I don't know when, but my dad is still taking me to get inked. So, pretty excited for those too. But, I better go. I have laundry that needs to be done. Bye.

-Samm
P.S.- 1 MORE DAY!!!!!

Flower pot painting and crazy movies.
Well, Girl's Night was a success. It was fun. We got moneys and went to Dollarville and each got flower pots and painted them when we got back to Kayliegh's house. Mine is Ocean themed, Kayliegh's was flower themed, and Jenny's.....I don't even know. I know there was talk about splotches and snails. HaHa. Afterwards, Jenny and I headed to her house to grab some movies. We watched "Shrooms" and "Requiem for a dream". Crazy movies. But, part way through that second movie, it was time for me to rest my head and my tired eyes. The next morning I was seriously dragging though. I got over 8 hours of sleep, yet it felt like I pulled an all nighter. Then...the worst part came. I went home! *Dun Dun Dun* I wanted to just lay down and sleep or just play Pokemon....no no. Impossible. The kids blew the Dining room and Living room to all hell. I had to pick that mess up; Repeatidly. Then we had a talk. Not going into that right now. Then the rest came. I played Pokemon for a total of 5 hours. Yeah, that's right...I am a huge nerd. But, I better go. Bye.

-Samm

She's back!
Well, Kayliegh came back last night. And I was super excited to see her. I missed her alot for the past couple months. But, we hung out today at her house; Her, Jenny, and I. I came home from her house with 2 boxes and a giant Kohl's bag of stuff. So, I am going to have fun figuring out what to do with what. HaHa. But, for the rest of the week, we are pretty much busy. Tomorrow apparently we're having like a birthday celebration for Grandpa, we're making burgers on the grill and everything. The Friday, Mom, Doug, and Kayliegh are going to a bar with a bunch of people for Grandpa's surprise party. Then on Saturday, me and Jenny are going to Kayliegh's house for a "Girl's night". So, it's going to be fun. But, I don't have much to write about. Bye.

-Samm

Bleh Bleh Bleh.
Well, I hope everyone had a good St. Patrick's Day. I didn't get to drink, I went to Physical Therapy though. It was the worst appointment of them all. I had a different lady doing my arm stretching. She put me in so much pain, it was ridiculous. Then my friend Jesse came over yesterday and he forgot about my arm completely, and he got a bit too rambuncious and was shaking my arm and grabbing at my shoulder. So, my arm felt like it had a pulse after that. It was just throbbing and ice was not doing anything for it. Just giving me shivers. It's a little better today though. But, I also want to thank Jenny again for taking me to my appointment. THANK YOU JENNY! :] HaHa. But, the weekend will be here shortly and I plan on going out and having fun. I also did some organizing in my room earlier. I felt very productive. I cleaned the dining room and folded laundry, then continued with the sudden burst of energy up to my room. Where I switched out some pictures that were in frames, hung my dresses up, cleaned/organized some of the junk under my bed, organized my books, etc. It was amazing how much I did actually. I was pretty impressed with myself. HaHa. But, I haven't had much going on since I updated last. It's been a sort of boring week. So, I'm going to end this entry here due to having no life and therefore nothing to write about. HaHa. Bye.

-Samm

Arts and Crafts like never before
Lately I have felt nothing but the want and need to paint. I don't really want to paint on paper, but it's been more directed to wooden craft kits. And a lamp. I painted a wooden spring decoration that has a dragonfly, butterfly, and some flowers on it. It's hanging on our front door. Then I also painted an Easter decoration. It has a Banner that I painted baby blue then I painted "Happy Easter" on it and in the craft kit came three wooden shapes of carrots. I painted those and I put it all together. That will be on our front door when Easter gets closer. Mom's very proud of the job I did. She told me the Easter one looks as though a professional did it. Then Yesterday we went to The Serice Center, and I got a black desk lamp and painted it. The theme of the painting/colours on it are the Sea/Ocean. I painted Sea Gulls on it, a rock with waves crashing around it, the ocean itself, and clouds. I like it. I am feeling the need to paint right now too, but I don't have much paint left, so I have to save it. That and I don't really have anything to paint. I am definitely looking forward to possibly going back and getting more wooden signs/boxes to paint. My Great-Grandma DeVries also gave me a fiber optic Angel/Fairy last night. It's gorgeous, there's flowers, a waterfall(the fiber optics are in that spot), of course the Faiy/Angel, and then 2 children. I love it. And she's making me a blanket. The colours are going to be a peach colour and then a deep burgundy. She says she is giving each Grandchild and Great-Grandchild one. So, I am lookin forward to getting mine. But, I better go. Bye.

-Samm

Lazy Samm's Back.
Well, mom keeps waking me up early every morning. Strangely it seems to be an hour later each day. Monday- 6:30. Tuesday- 7:30. Wednesday- 8:30. Weird, but she says that I can't continue to sleep the days away anymore. Oh well. I guess she's right. But, more and more, I don't feel like waking up or leaving the house. I want to hang out, but, I just don't really feel like leaving. Weird, because just a week ago I was dying to get out of my house, and now I'm back to being a hermit crab. I haven't left the house for anything since Saturday. I'm not looking forward to next Monday though. That's the first Physical Therapy appointment. Gahh. Oh well. I don't have much to talk about. I've just been laying around, smoking cigarettes, watching Dane Cook, listening to music, and reading. Bye.

Stephenie Meyers, Stomach Pain, and The Proclaimers.
Well, lately I've been spending alot of time on this computer. But, not so much on my usual sites like Facebook, Myspace, or here either. I've been reading the partial draft of "Midnight Sun". It's the unreleased 5th book in the "Twilight" series. No, it's not illegal where I'm getting it from. Stephenie Meyer posted it on her website. It's 264 pages, and I'm a little bit more than halfway through. So far, I love it. It's basically the first book, "Twilight", but instead of from Bella's point of view, it's from Edward's. I have always wondered what he thought and felt. And I love it, I'm getting to see sides of him that I didn't think were there. But, according to my sister, Stephenie Meyer might not even release it because people have been illegally dowloading and printing it. I really hope she does print it. I hope she does the rest of the books from his perspective as well. Because quite honestly, I'm addicted, and "Breaking Dawn" wasn't enough for me. The books left me yearning for more. I actually spent around a total of 5 hours reading today. Yes, I read very slowly. Oh well. But, I just sit here and read while listening to music on YouTube. And then, earlier, some crazy stomach pain came out of nowhere. It was like nothing I've ever experienced before. It's gone for the most part though. But, I'm just sitting here, about to read more, and I'm listening to one of my favourite songs. I'll put it on here. I loved it the second I heard it in "Benny and Joon". But, I have to get some reading in. Bye.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sd1IfDN6VKY

The embed or whatever thing was disabled, but, if you're interested or curious enough, take a listen. It's not my normal genre of music such as Sirenia, Richy Nix, or Marilyn Manson, but I still enjoy it.

-Samm

Weekend.
It's finally Friday. It's been a long week. But, hopefully I will be able to make plans and let loose. At the moment I have nothing going on, but hopefull that will change.

Oh man, today, I tell you what..some people are lucky I am not one of those rude Atheists. Two women from some Baptist church came to the door, and I made mistake number one: I answered it. Me, the Atheist. I tell you what, they would not shut up. Asking me to come to their church, they gave me a little booklet with these steps to accept Jesus into my heart, and I was trying my hardest not to laugh. I think they realised it to, cos from there it sounded more like they were trying to save me. They were almost begging me to accept Jesus. And during this was when I made mistake number two: I didn't tell the to go away! I swear, they were on my door step for like 5 minutes. LONGEST 5 MINUTES IN EXISTANCE. They told me if I ever needed anything, and they stressed on anything, to call them at their church or their personal cellphones. Which, they gave me the number to. But, as soon as they were out of sight and hearing distance, I shut the door and started laughing. Then threw away their card thing. I walked in the living room and shhok my head, that's when my mom said "You answered the door". I'm never answering the door again. Sigh.

But, at least I'm not one of those rude Atheists. I think religion is bogus, but if you want to believe in God or whatever, good for you. If it works for you, then good for you. If the promise of Heaven makes you less afraid of Death, good for you. It's not my thing. Never will be. But, I better go. Bye.

Cos you were Romeo, I was a Scarlett Letter.





We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes
And the flashback starts
I'm standing there
On a balcony in summer air

See the lights
See the party, the ball gowns
I see you make your way through the crowd
And say hello, little did I know

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you please don't go, and I said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes

So I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew
So close your eyes
Escape this town for a little while

'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
But you were everything to me
I was begging you please don't go and I said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes

Romeo save me, they try to tell me how to feel
This love is difficult, but it's real
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess
It's a love story baby just say yes
Oh oh

I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you is fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town, and I said

Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring

And said, marry me Juliet
You'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress
It's a love story baby just say yes

Oh, oh, oh, oh
'Cause we were both young when I first saw you

Cos I don't ever wanna leave you for dead..
Okay. Time for an update while I'm still feeling a bit chatty. I went to the Bone Doctor again today. Gahh. I wanted to knee him in the face so bad when he started messing with my arm. He pushed back on my shoulder, but pulled the rest of my arm forward. It hurt so bad, I was in tears. God, talk about embarrassing. But, he gave me some more Vicodin, and they set up my therapy schedule. I don't know it off the top of my head, but I think it's 3 times a week for 4 weeks. Doug said if I didn't like what the Doctor did, I'm going to hate Therapy. I believe it. I've also had a realization or two.

REALIZATION #1: I've decided what to be this coming Halloween. Yes, I know it's not for another 8 months or so, but I'm one of those weird people that plans it months ahead. I am going to be Mrs. Lovett from Sweeney Todd. So, I need to make some changes for that to be possible. I need to change my hair. I'm getting my hair and eyebrows dyed brown, and I'm getting a perm. Not those frizzy looking tight curls, but looser ones. And, I have yet to decide on which outfit of her's I will wear, but, since wedding dresses are easier to come by, I might wear a wedding dress. For the scene where she fantasizes of marrying Sweeney Todd. So, people, get your cameras ready because this will be the only time you see me in a wedding dress. HaHa.

But, it was only one realization. But, I better go. Bye.

V-Day.
It's here. I'm glad it only lasts a day. It's the holiday single women hate. And I do not exclude myself from that category of women. Those who are lonely, bitter, cynical...but the ones that as soon as they get a card or some candy/flowers, they perk right up and say they've always loved this holiday. Contradicting what they said about hating it 5 minutes ago. Yes, that's me. HaHa. I mean, I've never really been fond of Valentine's Day, but, when you're in a relationship, it's easier to get through. But when you're single, you want to drop kick every happy couple you see. No pity please, I'm just venting. I will be fine tomorrow when every piece of chocolate is set at half-price. And it's Brie's birthday tomorrow, so I'll be happy when I see her open the re-gifted presents I am giving her. HaHa. I'm giving her some ear rings I never wear, cosmetic sponges, drawing pencils, candy, 2 nail polishes, and Sweet Pea body lotion. I didn't have any money to buy her anything, and I don't have the two available hands to make her something. I just hope she likes what I can give her.

But, going to go. Bye.
-Samm

Nothing but Classical music, books, and further arm slings.
So, yesterday, Mom and I went to the Bone Doctor that did my surgery. I got the stitches taken out--the front one hurt the worst because some skin had grown over the stitch--and then we did some x-rays. I swear I wanted to punch the x-ray technician for twisting and bending and pulling my arm the way he did. It hurt like hell. No joke. But, we looked over the x-rays in the room and the Doctor told me that I have to keep my arm in the sling for another(get this) 6 weeks! 6 more weeks of not typing as fast as I used to, 6 weeks of not being able to do my hair or make up, 6 more weeks of embarrassing showers because my mom has to help me, and 6 more weeks of having to control my OCD urge to scrub everything in this house. Mom wasn't the least bit happy either. I can't say I blame her because I am...scratch that...was the one who would help out with Ava and get her eady for school and what not. Oh well. Lately I have been trying to relax by reading my books, listening to classical music, and smoking cigarettes. Ha. But, I am not going to continue staying home for the next six weeks or so. I am bound to go mad at any moment. Luckily Jenny has offered to take me on a "date" sometime next week. Where we are going and what we are doing is a mystery to us both. We have no clue what to do.

I find it amusing to go to the grocery store now. People pass me and see my left arm in the sleeve of my coat, but they look and wonder where my right arm is. I have also had plenty of people stare at my arm in the sling as if they are trying to guess what happened to my shoulder. Slipped on ice and broke it? Abusive household(never, fyi)? What could have happened? I hate the real story. "I went to take a swing at my brother and my middle-aged shoulder gave out". HaHa. Some people in Lowell said to my Grandma "Wow, she must have really upset you, huh?". Joking of course.

I also seriously need something to knock me out at night. Because I have been sleeping downstairs on the floor(my Grandpa claims the couch) and even if I go to bed before him, I still wake up around 3-4 in the morning. Either his LOUD snoring wakes me up, the TV that was never shut off or turned down wakes me up, or both. So, this morning I was awake at 3:30. And even going upstairs didn't help much because Brie was in my bed, a couple hours later the kids had to get ready for school, and I kept getting woken up. Shit for sleep. So, I seriously need something that will knock me on my ass and make it to where I do not wake up until at least 9. HaHa.

Anyway, I have nothing else really new going on. Bye.

-Samm

I will be.
There’s nothing I can say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain the tears they cry
Still you never said goodbye and now I know how far you’d go
I know I let you down but its not like that now
This time I’ll never let you go

I will be all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life I’ll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK

I thought that I had every thing I didn’t know what life could bring
But now I see honestly
You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe 'cause you're here with me
And if I let you down I’ll turn it all around
Cause I would never let you go

I will be all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life I’ll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK

Cause with out you I can’t sleep
I’m not gonna ever ever let you leave
You’re all I got
You’re all I want
Yeah
And with out you I don’t know what I’ll do
I could never ever live a day with out you
Hear with me do you see your all I need

And I will be all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life (my life) I will be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK

I will be (I’ll be) all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
And all my life you know I will be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK