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2008 28 September :: 11.03 am
:: Mood: hopeful
...
"My heart tells me you weren't the one, but deep down I'm terrified no one will ever find me as beautiful as you did."
-Anonymous
I found this quote on postsecret and I thought it was beautiful.
Say what?? |
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2008 21 September :: 10.17 pm
:: Mood: good
SUCH A SHAME!
The Office didn't win a single Emmy this year... LAAAAAMMMEEE. they totally deserved it.
on another note, i'm doing better .. trying to move on .. and trying not to think about him.
goodnight everyone! :)
Tonight's song: I wanna be by Chris Brown .. we learned a routine for it during hip hop on friday :) it was awesome lol
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2008 21 September :: 1.06 pm
:: Mood: okay
"I miss how COMFORTABLE I was with him." --Postsecret
Say what?? |
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2008 20 September :: 9.12 pm
:: Mood: letting go
one of my new favorite quotes..
"In life we all have an unspeakable secret, an irreversible regret, an unreachable dream and an unforgettable love."
--Diego Marchi
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2008 16 September :: 8.52 pm
NEVER MIND. i just found his picture in my wallet... the one of him at FAA and the one we took in the photo booth of us kissing... FUCK.
:( x a million
honestly, i just need to know that he's struggling as much as i am..
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2008 16 September :: 6.21 pm
:: Mood: better
recovering..
i feel good today .. it's officially been a week.. and although it's definitely been kind of lonely, i think he was right. neither one of us were happy in that situation and i feel like we only kept hanging on because of the love we have for each other. but at the end of the day.. love isn't everything. you gotta have trust and you have to be able to spend time with each other. both were missing.
the only thing i must say is that EVERYTHING reminds me of him and that only makes it infinitely harder to forget about him. on saturday, on my way to the game, a car drove by blasting brown eyed girl... my eyes got watery. every family guy episode i watch reminds me of him... even the other night i went out to eat with michelle and her parents to cpk .. and it reminded me of the last time i went to cpk with him and his mom : ( ..sigh.
anyways, i just wanted to say that this has been really hard but all in all i think it's for the best and in due time i think i can move on. one thing's for sure though .. going home to tampa is going to be SO HARD. because EVERYTHING there reminds me of him and he's a huge part of why i get so excited to go home... but i guess i'll have to deal with it.
on a positive note, my birthday's coming up! yay :)
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2008 15 September :: 5.58 pm
:: Mood: hanging in there..
my favorite poem
One Art by Elizabeth Bishop
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster
Say what?? |
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2008 15 September :: 5.51 pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: jimmy wayne
grrrrr :(
I still love you and i will forever.
We can't hide the truth,
We know each other better.
When we try to make it work,
We both end up hurt.
It ain't supposed to be that way.
*sigh* :/ .. it's getting easier not hearing from him i guess.. or rather i'm just becoming numb to it...i can't help but want him to call me .. but i know it's not going to happen.
Say what?? |
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2008 12 September :: 12.30 pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: tv
it's hard to believe after 5 years, this is it..
Have you ever felt so sad that your heart just feels heavy? And no matter what you do, it makes it a little harder to breathe. Well, that's exactly how I feel right now and I cannot wait until this feeling subsides. I'm trying really hard not to let myself get depressed right now. I miss you more than I ever thought I would.
Goodbye Waves & Driveways by The Rocket Summer
Just walk away
Gather your thoughts for the second wave
Of this argument on this epic changing day
Its crazy to think that an hour ago all things were great
But we stand here both proud both wrong and right
Throwing cheap shots in this stubborn fight
And our lives are so intertwined in one
But we're just so stuck in this moment it's clear that were coming undone
And you see it’s hard for me to breathe
When I get all worked up with these feelings
And I don’t know exactly how it is
That we can be so mad we consider to not exist
When we both know there’s so much love clenched within our fists
The goodbye waves in the driveway they just resonate
And yes I am throwing it right back at her
While were drowning in rivers from our faces
We just wanna know if, this is this over
A trembling silence fills the air
As we stand here so impaired, so aware
I sit in this house
Alone with fresh photographs
And I just can’t relax
And like cigarette smoke, I’m starting to choke on this
That half of my soul is on the road in a car with a girl in a dress
And it’s making it hard for me to breathe
When I get all worked up with these feelings
And I don’t know exactly how it is
That just to say I’m right your wrong we both lose to win
The goodbye waves in the driveway they just resonate
And yes I am throwing it right back at her
While were drowning in rivers from our faces
We just wanna know if this, is this over
A trembling silence fills the air
As we stand here whoa-oh
So hey now, maybe we're just being stupid
Maybe we're just being dumb
Hey maybe it's time that we stopped and we realized
Like a flag in the wind we are one
And how at first it’s made so pure and lovely
But in battle can be torn to shreds
But with time and with patience and love and affection
Can be fixed with needle and thread
Because I love you and do you love me
And nothing will make this leave
I said I love you and do you love me
And nothing will make, make, make, make this leave
So remember me, yeah!
Remember me, yeah!
Remember me
And don’t walk away...
Say what?? |
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2008 4 August :: 10.56 pm
IF YOU REALLY WANT HER TO STICK AROUND, DON'T EVER LET HER FEEL UNIMPORTANT.
Say what?? |
::
2008 24 February :: 9.48 pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: ipod on shuffle
2 days.
MOTION CITY SOUNDTRACK
"Resolution"
I like the universe, but she messes with my words
I'm not talking planets or galaxies and the distance just makes it worse.
I know what you're thinking, this probably sounds rehearsed.
So let's give it up for the New Year
Did this party of two have you slightly confused?
Now that our things are divided
She refuses to speak and I'm driftin' to sleep at the wheel.
Liquids, powders and pills, not quite taken against my will.
The tastes test of girls, from all over the world
who refuse to accept my excuses.
She put up with so much of my madness and my self-abuse
She would tend to my wounds and fill me with food when I'd stumble in drunk for breakfast,
She was right to take off before she was consumed
So let's give it up for the New Year
Did this party of two have you slightly confused?
Now that our things are divided
She refuses to speak and I'm driftin' to sleep at the wheel.
So let's give it up for the New Year
Did this party of two have you slightly confused?
Now that our things are divided
She refuses to speak and I'm driftin' to sleep
Let's give it up for the New Year
Did this party of two have you slightly confused?
Now that our things are divided
She refuses to speak and I'm driftin' to sleep at the wheel.
I like the universe, but she messes with my words
I'm not talking planets or galaxies and the distance just makes it worse.
You're totally right, every action was well rehearsed.
Say what?? |
::
2008 8 February :: 7.44 pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: alicia keys
"I need that love"
Wreckless Love by Alicia Keys
Let's go back in time
When seeing your ID on mine
Made me crazy
Ooh baby I'm saying
Let's go back there
Let's take it there
I'm talking bout
Back in time
When you wanted to know my every move
Tired to keep it smooth
Keepin' up with me
You drove me crazy ohh baby
Let's go back there
Let's take it there
When you
Didn't know me
Didn't need me
I wanted to touch me
Couldn't leave me
I couldn't know how
Far it would go
I couldn't know if
This was for sure
We just could not
We just could not get enough of it baby , let's go
[Chorus]
Have that wreckles love
That crazy love
That off the wall won't stop ti'l I get enough kind of love
I need that love
So baby, let's go
Have that wreckless love
That crazy love
That I don't really care
We can have it anywhere
Kind of love
That wreckless love
Let's go back in time
When our kiss was brand new
An adventure not perfected
A little hesitant
Let's go back there
Let's take it there
Take it back in time
When forever was a minute, and eternity was a second
I'm stressing that we have to go back there
Let's take it there.
When you
Didn't know me
Didn't need me
I wanted to touch me
Couldn't leave me
I couldn't know how
Far it would go
I couldn't know if
This was for sure
We just could not
We just could not get enough of it baby , let's go
[Chorus]
Have that wreckles love
That crazy love
That off the wall won't stop ti'l I get enough kind of love
I need that love
So baby, let's go
Have that wreckless love
That crazy love
That I don't really care
We can have it anywhere
Kind of love
That wreckless love
Ooh baby, let's go
[Chorus]
Have that wreckles love
That crazy love
That off the wall won't stop ti'l I get enough kind of love
I need that love
So baby, let's go
Have that wreckless love
That crazy love
That I don't really care
We can have it anywhere
Kind of love
That wreckless love
Say what?? |
::
2008 3 February :: 7.14 pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: dc
damnit .. there's just no getting away from this one lol i love him. end of story.
"Shirts And Gloves"
When I'm back from the road
and you're out on it
& I'm tired of this distance
& I believe it's over-rated.
And this phone tag game is endless
the novelty is wearing
I'm hoping time will pass
without any assistance
or convincing.
Road rules apply
there's so much action,
you're getting busy.
I'll call your cellular phone
to tell you TV night was
lonely without you
& so am I...
so am I.
It seems our day keeps falling on a leap year.
So many high points on this last leg.
I can't wait to recount them
it seems like nothing's happened
until I've shared them with you.
The note that you had called
says youre half a day away
& you are heading home
just in time for me to leave.
Road rules apply
there's so much action
I'm getting busy.
So make sure that I'm up to date
on TV night,
I hate to miss out.
I think I miss you most
on Wednesdays
& Saturdays.
It seems our day keeps falling on a leap year.
Say what?? |
::
2008 19 January :: 11.21 am
:: Mood: i'm ok.
:: Music: dashboard on shuffle
i miss you... A LOT.
If I give up on you, I give up on me
If we fight what's true, will we ever be
Even God himself and the faith I knew
Shouldn't hold me back, shouldn't keep me from you
Chorus:
Tease me, by holding out your hand
Then leave me, or take me as I am
And live our lives, stigmatized
I can feel the blood rushing though my veins
When I hear your voice, driving me insane
Hour after hour day after day
Every lonely night that I sit and pray
Chorus
We live our lives on different sides,
But we keep together you and I
Just live our lives, stigmatized
We'll live our lives, We'll take the punches everyday
We'll live our lives I know we're gonna find our way
I believe in you
Even if no one understands
I Believe in you, and I don't really give a damn
stigmatized
We live our lives on different sides
But we keep together you and I
We live our lives on different sides
We're gonna live our lives
Gotta live our lives
We're gonna live our lives
We're gonna live our lives, Gonna live our lives, Stigmatized
Say what?? |
::
2007 26 November :: 7.48 pm
:: Mood: anxious
this song is so beautiful..
"Almost Lover" by A Fine Frenzy
Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick
I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no
I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
Say what?? |
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