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Not Waving
But Drowning

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:: 2004 5 April :: 6.10 pm

I am the pathetic little kid they took me for.

Why can't i let this go.

Everytime i try to forget it,it always seems to come back.

Maybe i'm destined to be haunted by them forever.

I WANT TO DISAPPEAR.
I WILL DISAPPEAR.
I WILL BE FREE.
THEY WILL LEAVE ME ALONE.

Dive in.


:: 2004 27 March :: 5.10 pm
:: Music: Distillers - I am a revenant

"STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES,
BUT WORDS WILL NEVER HURT ME"

Sometimes it's the words that hurt the most.

They can cut deeper than any knife and make you bleed more than any wound you've ever had.

Physically inflicted bruises fade with time.
Emotionally inflicted bruises sometimes never fade.
They just stay there destined to hurt you forever.

I know this doesn't make a lot of sense but it's how i feel.

I hate them for they've done to me...........If only they knew.

5 drowning in crimson regret. | Dive in.


:: 2004 5 March :: 12.30 pm

I wish all them little bastards knew how much they hurt me.

I wish they knew what it's like to wake up from a nightmare to a nightmare.

I wish they'd leave me alone.Even though they're not here It feels as though they are.

It might seem silly to be this cut up about something that happened so long ago.But I'll never forget them and i certainly won't forgive them.

They've ruined me and i hate them for that.

It seems like they're gonna be in my head forever,every last one of them.

LEAVE ME ALONE.

PLEASE.

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

Dive in.


:: 2004 1 March :: 12.46 pm
:: Mood: frustrated

Why must you continue to try and change me.

LEAVE ME ALONE.

GO AWAY.

Dive in.


:: 2004 11 February :: 12.05 pm

I'm dead and they killed me.

2 drowning in crimson regret. | Dive in.


:: 2004 9 February :: 10.56 pm

It makes me sick.

2 drowning in crimson regret. | Dive in.


:: 2004 7 February :: 8.03 pm

I AM NOBODY.
I AM NOBODY.
I AM NOBODY.
I AM NOBODY.
I AM NOBODY.
I AM NOBODY.
I AM NOBODY.
I AM NOBODY.
I AM NOBODY.
I AM NOBODY.
I AM NOBODY.
I AM NOBODY.
I AM NOBODY.
I AM NOBODY.
I AM NOBODY.
I AM NOBODY.
I AM NOBODY.

ARGH.


I AM NOBODY.

4 drowning in crimson regret. | Dive in.


:: 2004 1 February :: 10.12 am
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: Distillers - The Hunger

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Don't Go.

2 drowning in crimson regret. | Dive in.


:: 2004 29 January :: 6.20 pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: Distillers - Coral Fang

Why do you want me to be someone and something I'm not.

Can't you understand i hate people and people hate me....... it's just one big circle of hate so it all works out.

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY.

1 drowning in crimson regret. | Dive in.


:: 2003 17 December :: 9.15 pm

I have no idea why i'm posting or what i'm posting about so i'll go now and post when i figure out why i'm posting and what i'm posting about so thats all for this post that i'm just about to stop posting when i think of what to post next.

4 drowning in crimson regret. | Dive in.


:: 2003 16 December :: 10.06 pm
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: Boy Hits Car-lovefurypassionenergy

Someday they will listen to me.

1 drowning in crimson regret. | Dive in.


:: 2003 14 December :: 5.01 pm

Bloodshed tears
Who can see through bloodshed tears?
Filled with heartache, pain and fears
Alone I sit and wonder why
Why the hell I even try
Running rampant in my head
Thoughts of life and times ahead
My bodyís limp, my soul is weak
From where Iím standing life looks bleak
Someone save me, save me please
Iím begging you, Iím on my knees
Screams filled with heartache, filled with hate
Save me please, before its too late


2 drowning in crimson regret. | Dive in.


:: 2003 14 December :: 5.03 pm
:: Mood: angry

One of my poems
Tears cascade down my cheek
Tears of a life that feels so bleak
Tears that make me want to die
Tears that i didn't even cry.

5 drowning in crimson regret. | Dive in.

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