music is such a huge force in my life. it brings comfort. i feel like my favorite artists and musicians are my friends, in a way. they open themselves up to such an intense degree, it certainly does provide the kind of intimacy that deep friendships attain through reciprocal disclosure. they know nothing of me, but i definitely feel close to these people. i dream about billy corgan, tori amos, and kurt cobain a lot. these are people i relate to and respect, and feel an ethereal connection to that is unexplainable in terms of time and space.

songs maintain familiarity, like the smell of a family cottage or the no-longer annoying creak of an old door hinge. a recording of a song is always going to sound the same (in the most general sense) and the lyrics will always be the same. the vocals will sound the same, too -- even the little mistakes or off-key parts or whispers. it's so nice to listen to something that brought pleasure or kept you sane years earlier and realize that it is still effective today.

i am very sensitive to my surroundings, particularly anything musical. it's like i become part of songs when i listen to them, and i feel everything the singer and instruments are expressing, even if i have never actually experienced those things myself. it's slightly dangerous because i absorb others' emotions quite readily. it's also very beautiful. i'm glad i have this kind of sensory/perceptual experience with music.

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