. . . . . . . . . . . .~*So I lay my head back down and I lift my hands and pray to be only yours I pray to be only yours I know now you're my only hope*~. . . . . . . . . .


home | profile | guestbook

~*Nothing But Drama*~

recent entries | past entries


:: 2006 4 September :: 12.23am

So long sweet summer
I stumbled upon you and gratefully basked in your rays
So long sweet summer
I fell into you
Now you're gracefully falling away

Hey thanks
Thanks for that summer
It's cold where you're going
I hope that your heart's always warm
I gave you the best
Gave you the best that I have

So, so long sweet summer
I stumbled upon you and gratefully basked in your rays
So long sweet summer
I fell into you
Now you're gracefully falling away

I hate the winter, in Lexington
I hate the winter, in Lexington
In Lexington, Lexington, Lexington.

LiL BiT Of HeLp!


:: 2006 28 August :: 10.07pm

If only you would just sing it to me...
I have to block out thoughts of you
so I donít lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach
leaving babies in my bed

Dropping little reels of tape
to remind me that Iím alone
Playing movies in my head that
make a porno feel like home

There's a burning in my pride,
a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you.
Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me
just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Iím sober now for 3 whole months itís one
accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart
is the one thing I wonít touch again

In a sick way I want to thank you
for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself,
you were trying to stop the fight

You never doubted my warped opinions
on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself
when it was way too hard to take
So Iíll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didnít do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whatís good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling ďmake it go away!Ē
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered ďHow can you do this to me?Ē

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didnít do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whatís good for you

2 LiL Bit Of HeLp!s | LiL BiT Of HeLp!


:: 2006 27 August :: 6.52pm
:: Mood: Empty shock

How could someone be that cruel? I thought shit like this only happened in the movies. I honestly didn't think I would ever meet someone so heartless and fake in my life. And to think that I was with the unbelievable for a year and a half, and only now just find out the true oneself. And to know that I was the one who was made to feel crazy because of the 1,000's of times I called it out I was miraculously right because I knew this foul being inside and out. Oh, the 1,000's of faflse reassurances I was given. But the keyword is false. I was right all along. I was cohersed into not believing in myself, and I am ashamed that I was. How could I let someone tell me who I am and who I will be? I don't think I've ever felt so foolish in my life.

He is
1. prepare or make (something suspecious, deceptive, or fraudulent): to fake a report showing nonexistent profits.
2. to conceal the defects of or make appear more attractive, interesting, valuable, etc., usually in order to deceive
3. to pretend; simulate: to fake illness.
4. to accomplish by trial and error or by improvising: I don't know the job, but I can fake it.
5. to trick or deceive (an opponent) by making a fake (often fol. by out)
9. anything made to appear otherwise than it actually is; counterfeit: This diamond necklace is a fake.
10. a person who fakes; faker: The doctor with the reputed cure for cancer proved to be a fake.
11. a spurious report or story.
13. designed to deceive or cheat; not real; counterfeit.
Synonyms: affected, artificial, assumed, bogus, concocted, counterfeit, fabricated, false, fictitious, forged, fraudulent, invented, make-believe, mock, phony, pretended, pseudo*, reproduction, sham*, simulated, spurious
noun: actor, bastard*, bluffer, bum, bunk, bunko, charlatan, cheat*, counterfeit, deception, deke, fabrication, faker, flimflam, forgery, four-flusher*, fraud, gold brick, gyp, hoax, imitation*, imposition, imposture, junque, make-believe, mountebank, phony, pretender, pretense, pseudo*, put on, reproduction, scam, sell, sham*, sleight, spoof, swindle, trick

verb (used with object)
1. to defraud*; swindle: He cheated her out of her inheritance.
2. to deceive*; influence by fraud: He cheated us into believing him a hero.
3. to elude*; deprive of something expected: He cheated the law by suicide.
Ėverb (used without object)
4. to practice fraud or deceit: He cheats without regrets.
5. to violate rules or regulations: He cheats at cards.
7. Informal. to be sexually unfaithful (often fol. by on): Her husband knew she had been cheating all along. He cheated on his wife.
8. a person who acts dishonestly, deceives, or defrauds: He is a cheat and a liar.
11. an impostor: The man who passed as an earl was a cheat.

Synonyms- con man, conniver, cozener, crook, deceiver, decoy, defrauder, dodger, double-crosser*, double-dealer*, enticer, fake, hypocrite***, impostor, jockey, knave, masquerader, pretender, quack, rascal, rogue, scammer*, shark, sharper, shyster, swindler, trickster

Having the nature of or resulting from malice; malicious gossip.
1. full of, characterized by, or showing malice; malevolent; spiteful: malicious gossip.
2. Law. vicious, wanton, or mischievous in motivation or purpose.

Synonyms: awful, bad-natured, baleful, beastly, bitchy, bitter, cussed, deleterious, despiteful, detrimental, envious, evil, evil-minded*, green*, green-eyed*, gross*, ill-disposed, injurious, jealous, low, malevolent, malign, malignant, mean, mischievous, nasty, noxious, ornery, pernicious, pesky, petty, poison-pen, poisonous, rancorous, resentful, spiteful, uncool*, vengeful, venomous, vicious, virulent, wicked

5 LiL Bit Of HeLp!s | LiL BiT Of HeLp!


:: 2006 20 August :: 10.27am

I'm coming home today!!!!

LiL BiT Of HeLp!


:: 2006 24 July :: 6.04pm

I'm in Washington D.C. right now at our hotel. This place is definitely beautiful. Our flight was at 6:30 am this morning and we were an hour away from the airport so my cousins and I have been up since 3:00am. I barely slept on the plane either. Tomorrow we are going to Virginia Beach for the rest of the week. *Smiles*.


LiL BiT Of HeLp!


:: 2006 21 July :: 5.26pm

I hate having bad days.

1 LiL Bit Of HeLp! | LiL BiT Of HeLp!


:: 2006 19 July :: 8.31pm
:: Mood: Happy

Off the coast of somewhere beautiful.
Hey. I guess it's about time I updated.

Last weekend on Friday I hung out with Elyse. We stayed the night at my dad's new house. I really like my new room. We went to Olive Garden and then my cousins Brooklyn, Kyla, Kaylie, and the new baby Briley came over. I love her, she is so cute.

Saturday I went out on the boat. It was definitely interesting to say the least. Haieligh and I went tubing with Casey and Chad. We had some pretty fun times.

Sunday I went to Holland to watch Luke's basketball games.

I can't remember when, but I went and saw Pirates of The Caribbean 2 with Luke and The Devil Wears Prada with Elyse.

This week I've just been hanging out with Luke and my friends. Our power went out on Monday. We just got it back yesterday. That definitely sucked.

Friday I'm going to Champion with Elyse in the morning and then later on my family is going to Grand Haven for the weekend and we are staying at a hotel on the beach.

I just found out a few days ago that on Monday I'm going to Washington D.C. and then we are going to Virginia Beach. I'm going with my dad, my uncle Mike, and my cousins Rachel and Sarah. I'm pretty stoaked for that. Our plane leaves from Detroit on Monday morning. I think I'll be gone for a week. I honestly don't really know the details since my mom just informed me of all this. It will be fun though, except I'll be missing Luke, a lot.

I guess that is about it. Much love.


When you whisper you want this, your eyes tell the same. Picking up speed, I can barely breathe, 'cause I'm caught in suspension.

6 LiL Bit Of HeLp!s | LiL BiT Of HeLp!


:: 2006 16 July :: 3.48pm

It will always amaze me how people and things move on so fast, and never look back, like they didn't truely care to begin with.

2 LiL Bit Of HeLp!s | LiL BiT Of HeLp!


:: 2006 7 July :: 1.07am
:: Mood: sad

My world almost just fell apart.

3 LiL Bit Of HeLp!s | LiL BiT Of HeLp!


:: 2006 21 June :: 2.59pm
:: Mood: Excited
:: Music: Panic! At the Disco

Huge Kegger This Saturday!!
Anyone and Everyone Can Come! Bring as many people as you want!

Who-Amy's 19th and Kendra's 17th B-day

What-Kegger Party!!

When-Saturday, June 24th

Time:-All day and all night!

Where- 615 South Webster, Greenville

Directions- Take 14 Mile/M-57 east all the way into Greenville, passing Meijers and DQ untill you get to Main St/Lafayette/M-91. Take a right. Third street down on the left is Union, take a left. Go through a yield sign to the last house on the corner of Union and Webster and you're there! Anyone and everyone can come!

~.~The pool is open, so feel free to bring the swimwear!~.~

4 LiL Bit Of HeLp!s | LiL BiT Of HeLp!


:: 2006 16 June :: 11.46pm

My best friend, and boyfriend Jake, is playing in the bar tonight, and tomorrow night, and for the next two weekends. You all should come out to see him!

I was there tonight, and he was doing absolutely amazing!! It sounded so good, and it looked to me like he was having a lot of fun. His uncle Doug was playing with him so that might have helped, and Josh got to play Freebird with him too. Which was pretty cool. I went out there after I got outta work tonight, and it's pretty awesome, but John, the owner asked if I was coming(or found out somehow or something), and since I'm Jake's girlfriend, he said that I could stay till 11 instead of 10:30, and if I could I would stay till he's done, but I can't so a half hour extra is awesome! But seriously, he did SO SO SOOO good, everyone should stop out and see him. I love you Jake.

5 LiL Bit Of HeLp!s | LiL BiT Of HeLp!


:: 2006 16 June :: 3.19pm
:: Mood: Happy
:: Music: Broken-Seether

So Stacy decided that I should update this, so here I am. I love Stacy so I guess this is only for her. She's pretty much the best.

I've been really busy. My weeks consist of a lot of shopping, hanging out with Luke, and hanging out with my friends.

Yesterday I went swimming at Luke's and he pushed me in the pool and when we were racing to my car he hit me with the door on acciden't and he almost knocked me out. I thought that was pretty rude! Haha j/k.

Today I hung out with Lisa and then later on tonight my cousins from Los Angeles are flying in so my family is all going out to dinner. I'm so excited to see them. I <3 them.

This weekend I have a lot of open houses to go to like always. Pretty soon they are almost over with. I have like five to go to every Saturday and they get really boring after a while.

Next week I'll be with my cousins.

The weekend after that is Emily's baby shower and my grandma from Florida is flying in.

In July we are going on vacation. We haven't decided where we are going. Last year we went to NY, but this year we are going somewhere else.

In August I'm going to California for a few weeks. I'm really stoaked about that. I'm definitely a California girl at heart.

I miss Luke. He's gone today and tomorrow for basketball. He's always gone for basketball, but I'm gone for most of the summer so it's pretty much even. I feel bad about that, but I'm always gone for the summer, and that's the way it's been for my whole life.

Oh yeah, my dad is buying a new house. It's pretty sweet and it has an alarm system in it so for all the times when he's gone for work and me and whoever stay there, we don't have to worry about being killed. That's always a plus.

So I guess that's about it.

It's weird when you think nothing's changed, but really everything has.

<3 Ashley

17 LiL Bit Of HeLp!s | LiL BiT Of HeLp!


:: 2006 11 June :: 6.42pm

And that's what I get for trying to be nice to you....

Some things will never change.

LiL BiT Of HeLp!


:: 2006 7 June :: 1.03pm

Seriously just shut up.


:: 2006 6 June :: 7.49pm

Isn't it nice, that after so many bad things, you can always come back and find out who your true friends really are?

1 LiL Bit Of HeLp! | LiL BiT Of HeLp!

Woohu.com | Random Journal