::
2004 30 January :: 7.33 pm
:: Mood: Annoyed
:: Music: Dizzy- Goo Goo Dolls
Hm, well, I would have posted sooner but I wasn't able to get into Woohu.
I have no idea why ...
Mom was diagnosed with some kind of personality disorder. I forgot what its called but its where you're ONE person with many personalities. It's not like schizophrenia or anything where you have multiple PEOPLE. So yeah ... I guess there's 5 or 6 personalities but ive only seen 4. She still loses time and stuff sometimes and like, if shes in one personality mode and she goes somewhere or something, ocassionally she'll switch personalities and she won't know how she got where she was.
Its actually pretty interesting ...
Chad's coming home tonight. I'm supposed to go to the airport and bring Scooter with me. Scooter is the little dog that chad got for christmas but I've adopted him since chad's been in treatment. Its gonna suck when Chad starts calling scooter his own ...
We're having a little christmas thing when Chad gets home. Since chad was in treatment through christmas, mom bought all these cool little dinky things and we're all drawing numbers for what we get. It's so cool. I think I'm the only one excited about it though ...
I'm really confused about a lot of things right now I'd just really rather not go into them. I'm depressed and I feel so lame and stupid. I think you may be able to tell by my diary entry. It's all just ... blahly typed.
I need a cigarette ...
1 Seduction |
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 27 January :: 10.58 am
:: Mood: blah
Lots of excitment ...
God, this is a WAY long story so I'm gonna try to cut it as short as I can. The night before last, Me and mom got into this big fight because I asked her if I could just drop out and get my GED. Well, then she told me we should just go out onto the porch and fight so somebody could call the cops and they could just go ahead and take her.
Well, that pissed me off some more so I went into my room.
She comes in there and starts digging through my drawers and find my cigarettes. She says "Ooo, Kristen, lets go for a ride and smoke. You can tell me why you hate me so much" (Keep in mind, she's in that little state of mind where her voice has changed and she looks at you really weird like shes testing you all the time) Well, i keep telling her no and I finally go. MOM doesn't smoke but she was. We'll skip the rest and move on to the next part!
We come home and Brandon calls to see If I can go with him if Justin picks me up and takes me home. Mom says I can go .... so we go riding around and we stop at Shooters to watch everybody play some pool. We leave because brandon has to come home. Justin and Tyler, however, wanted to drop Brandon off, take me with them to go on a drug run really quick and then drop me and tyler off since all this is on "the way". We see Andy and Brandon asks Andy if he'll have the car so he can take me home. But ALL the times Andy's said he could, he ends up not being able to. Well, Brandon didn't want me around the drugs because "I can't take care of myself if something was to go wrong" and he didn't want me to get busted with them. BUT!!! The other day, brandon asked if he could sell!! Hmmmm.... interesting, eh?
Well, Brandon gets pissed and beats the hell out of Justin's truck and I told him I would stay with him. Well then he starts yelling at me to get my ass in the truck, blah blah. (This is a really long story ... DisContinue if you'd like) Then, he walks off and slams the front door on me so I get in the car. I was sitting between tyler and Justin and this just like, royally pissed me off. So, he comes out of the house and says "And don't FUCKING call me!" So his mom comes out!!! I end up getting out of the car and we go in and he just keep yelling and yelling. And then he says "Remember what happened the last time you said you'd do anything for a ride home???" Since you guys don't know what that was, I was molested. Blah. Anyway, he starts punching his dresser and his mirror shattered and so I ended up going home. On the way, he just kept fucking talking and talking and going on and on. I was so stressed I was about to just ... get sick all through the car and he still wouldn't stop when I ASKED him.
I ended up telling my mom what happened and she got pissed off and said we needed a break from eachother because she wasn't gonna have him talking to me like that. I hear ONE phone ringin and then it just stops. This goes on for a while. So I go out into the kitchen and all the phones are gone except the one in mom's room. I asked her to let me use it really quick and she's like "nope" ... So I left the house. She told me If I passed the intersection, she was gonna call SO on me. I was like ... Shit, I don't even know what SO is so fucking call them.
I'm gone for a little over an hour ... just sitting in the middle of the road crying.
I come back home and Jeff says "Where the fuck is your mom??" -- "I dunno" -- "Get in your room and don't you fucking come out"
He locks his bedroom door so I get my moms key and open it to call Brandon. Turns out, mom left to pick him up to go look for me. Brandon lives like, ten minutes away and I was only like, a little more than half a mile down the street.
Jeff pulls up and says "Don't touch the phone, the computer, NOTHING. I'm sick of your god damned bull shit"
He acts like I do something wrong every fucking day! And I don't.
Then, mom pulls up with Brandon. She just tells me to pack my shit and she went in the house. I later discovered that we were probably gonna end up moving out because our family is so fucked. Brandon sits down next to me and says he's sorry. Exactly what I knew he'd end up saying.
We go in my room and talk ... blah blah ... and I notice a lot of the skin on his arm is like, scraped off. He said it happened when he hit his mirror but I later found out he did it with an eraser.
And this is also the guy who bitched at me about cutting because it was "stupid and he didn't understand it". Wow =P
I guess that's all. There's much more but I'm not in the mood to tell it all. I've typed enough.
I'm home sick AGAIN. For like, the 3rd week. I went to school yesterday and the pain around my bladder was so horrible, oh my god. Well, the doctor called with ANOTHER thing that was wrong with me. So now, I'm going to a specialist so they can make sure all the infections are out of my stomach.
I just say they remove all my organs and fill me with stuffing ... Mom says that might cause cancer though =)
1 Seduction |
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 25 January :: 3.31 pm
:: Mood: tired
God, last night was just ... UGH
That's about the only way I can put it. My older brother comes in the room and says that mom has GOT to have multiple personalities. I thought about this ... and I was like "why the hell didn't i think of that before???" So, we told mom, she went crazy, blah blah BUT she did let brandon stay the night!!!
She also came in my room wanting a cigarette even though she doesn't smoke. I felt a little weird handing out cigarettes to my own mom who also happens to HATE the smell of cigarettes. It was a little weird....
My brothers girlfriend had a nervous breakdown so Jerry took her to her grandmas. Mom kept trying to talk to her but she wouldn't unlock the bedroom door for anybody so Jerry had to take part of it apart to even get in.
Jeff had a fucking fit this morning because the dishes were Jerry's and he said they were MINE. Now, the WHOLE family, including Jerry, told him they were Jerry's but he still argued with us and said he did them and they're still mine. Like any of that makes sense??
1 Seduction |
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 23 January :: 8.18 pm
I'm so GOD DAMNED PISSED i don't even wanna fucking talk about it.
I wanna cut so bad ...
and I know I can get away with it but I'd have to cut my feet or something.
and mom came out with a towel so its fucking obvious SHE cut!!!
But see ... I'm not allowed to. Because people will call potter county on me. Its okay for HER though
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 23 January :: 3.16 pm
:: Mood: bored
Your soul is bound to the Solitary Rose: The
Alone.
"When I wake up alone, the shades are still
drawn on the cold window pane so they cast
their lines on my bed and lines on my
face."
The Solitary Rose is associated with loneliness,
melancholy, and patience. It is governed by
the goddess Merope and its sign is The Sword,
or Unrequited Love.
As a Solitary Rose, you may be summed up as a
hopeless romantic. You desire love and have so
much love to give, but thing just never seem to
work out the way you want them to. In life,
you can be very optomistic, even when things
are gray and nothing works out to your
expectations.
What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla
Night Sky Fairy!! You Love the sky and stars. You
are mystic and beautiful. Theres something
about you elegance thet is so calming. Please
please vote for my quiz!
Which Beautiful Amy Brown Fairy Are You? (with pretty pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
Night Sky Fairy!! You Love the sky and stars. You
are mystic and beautiful. Theres something
about you elegance thet is so calming. Please
please vote for my quiz!
Which Beautiful Amy Brown Fairy Are You? (with pretty pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 23 January :: 3.07 pm
These stupid quizzes make me feel so pathetic ... hehe
You are Lime.
You are quirky and misunderstood. You are
definitely your own person. You don't let
anyone tell you who you should be. You never
sell out your values and beliefs, no matter
what. However, you can sometimes have trouble
fitting in, but only because you are
misunderstood.
Most Compatible With: Wintergreen
Which Tic-Tac Flavor Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 23 January :: 2.57 pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Downfall-Matchbox20
You have wings of STEEL. No one's really
sure why, but at this point in your life you've
shut off emotion to the point of extreme
apathy. You are cold and indifferent much of
the time...or perhaps you're just a good
pretender. Next to impossible to get close to,
even those who do never see the real you. It's
entirely possible that YOU don't even know the
real you. You have a certain fascination or
attraction to destruction on a massive scale -
disasters, perhaps even death or the concept of
the Apocalypse. Because you hold so much
inside, one day you're simply going to snap.
Then the mask will fall away, and your true
wings will be revealed. Until then you will
deal with whatever comes your way in icy bitter
silence and acceptance. On the positive side,
you are fearless and immeasurably strong - not
much can crack through your defenses. You
intrigue people, who can't help but wonder why
you're the way you are. A loner and one who
spends much of their time brooding and
contemplating life and death - you are a time
bomb waiting to explode and create some
destruction of your own.
*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla
1 Seduction |
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 23 January :: 2.04 pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Cold-Matchbox20
I stayed home from school today again. Who knows if brandon will show up over here or not.
We went to family counciling today and talked with chad and stuff. He's changed so much. HIS councilor is a bitch. UGH. I hate her. She said "Its kinda hard to have a good family if the mom is sick all the time" She was like, purposely starting shit with my mom through the whole damn conversation. What kinda therapist is that?
I'm hungry ...
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 22 January :: 11.39 pm
:: Mood: Tired
Just got back from taking Brandon home. I finally got to smoke a cigarette. I'm so freaking tired. I just don't want to sleep and I REALLY don't wanna go to school in the morning. I'll probably end up going though ...
Luckily, today I got to stay home.
I got really pissed at Jerry today and got some extra practice in on my bass =)
Mom showed me the cuts on her legs .... the one side looks really infected so she's really gonna have to keep an eye on it.
Me and brandon built a fort today in my room ... Lol. He was like "did you ever build those stupid little forts when you were little??" ---Lightbulb!!!--- "Lets build a fort!!" Hehe ...it's pretty cool actually. It was fun =)
Mom got called out on a structure fire and there were bodies trapped in there. All the stations were going so we're all piling in the car so we can follow her right? Well, she's haulin' ass down the damn road and the people come on the radio and say "Unit 5, you can disregard". She slams on the brakes and yells: WHAT THE FUCK!? --- So yeah, adrenaline rush gone to waste!
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 22 January :: 3.14 pm
:: Mood: Tired
Well, I'm not feeling any pain this morning except for sore muscles. I dunno if its the medicine (it shouldn't be) or if its pulling that shit where I"ll feel it really bad one day, it'll go away and I'll be all happy, and then when I least expect it, its back. That better NOT be the case.
Mom kept talking about how I had to go to school today but .... I guess I didn't! It's a good thing too because I didn't get to sleep until 2 AND I'm on that medicine and it makes me feel weird so I wouldn't have survived.
Brandon should be here in like, man. 2 hours .... They get out of school at 3:35 but they don't get HERE until 4:20. Stupid people ....
I'm off to do more quiz's ...
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 21 January :: 11.23 pm
:: Mood: Bored
I'm bored again ...
Ghost or spirit: You are a lost soul. Very calm and
sweet, you are often the one who asks: What if?
With a clever mind, you want to explore the
world on a different level. Without the
answers, you aren't ready to move on. You are
most likely very creative and find yourself
thinking things through on a different level.
(please rate my quiz)
**Where will you go when you die?**(now with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 21 January :: 10.49 pm
You are going to Marry orlando Bloom. He will
always treat you right and is very romantic. He
will do anything for you. He is very polite and
has deep brown eyes and is very good looking
(which is another plus!). He can make anythind
cheesy look really good (like sliding down
stairs on a shield shooting arrows or wearing
pointy ears for example). Congrats!!
Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (10 results that have pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 21 January :: 10.30 pm
:: Mood: Drugged ...
At school today things got SO fucking bad with my bladder and stuff. I was almost in tears and I couldn't walk very far without stopping and the fucking nurse told me to tough it out THREE times. So finally, I went into the office and called my mom.
When I got to the doctor they did more shit to me and they said if they can't find everything else thats wrong, they're sending me to a specialist and they were thinking about admitting me to the hospital.
The meds I'm taking ... omg ... hehe. I put a tablet under my tongue and INSTANTLY ... the pain goes away and I'm relaxed. It's like a miracle drug, actually. I've taken like, 2 or 3 though because they keep wearing off. They aren't like ... hydrocodone or anything. It just relaxes you. Nothing to cool or anything. Its just amazing to me how it works so fast.
Mom is drunk again and Jerry's so god damned stupid he couldn't even tell. So he yelled at her about stupid shit and I kept telling him to shut up and stuff. Then, while she was talking to Chad on the phone, chad started hypervenilating and so the people in the hospital had to take him to a room and hang up the phone. Mom started screaming and everything ... and she kept asking me to help her.
I wish I could ...
Earlier today she told me that if Jerry even TOUCHES me, I can file charges on him because he's 17 now and I haven't given him permission to touch me at all. So yeah ... that's kinda cruel but I'll do it. If you guys only knew how he was ...
I talked to brandon and stuff today. They're supposed to have his schedule changed tomorrow and they told him they were gonna go ahead and let him out of ISS. Thank god. I doubt I'll be there tomorrow anyway.
My back was hurting so bad not too long ago, I couldn't move. So I grabbed my pills and took some of them and it eventually stopped hurting. I think its my kidneys that are fucked to hell this time.
Jeff is out here wondering who has dishes to do. Of course, its me but I can't exactly stand up for long without falling over.
People around here don't seem to understand any shit like that though ...
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 20 January :: 11.19 pm
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: Matchbox 20
Saw brandon =)
Well, I saw my therapist and talked to her about some things. She told me she thought it would be good for me to go and talk to brandon about some things. So ... I went over there but only got to stay for a few hours =*(
It was weird, because even though he wasn't in there that long, I saw him and it was like seeing him all over again. He walked up and kissed me and I was just ... nervous all over again. I loved it though.
Then, we layed down .... And I never wanted to let go of him again. I really think he's looking at things a little differently now though.
I left my cigarettes over there.... I have ONE. Eh .... I'll probably just smoke that before I go to bed and get some from brandon tomorrow. Turns out, he IS coming back to school and he won't be going to a private school. His probation officer said he wasn't allowed to home school or anything and that he had to stay in a public school. I don't see the fucking point of that though. If a kid is having trouble in school, he should have the freedom to home school. He'd stay out of trouble!!
Mom said she had training tonight but she didn't go ... I'm gonna have to see why.
Kinda worried about her...
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 20 January :: 1.19 pm
:: Music: Could I be You-Matchbox 20
Brandon's home!!
I went to school this morning and had a huge nervous breakdown. So I called mom to get an appointment with my therapist.
Well, when I called, mom said that brandon was home.
I just got off the phone with him =) I'm still depressed but it makes things a LOT better now that he's here. I guess I'm not gonna be so alone now.
I know he wasn't gone for long but ... A LOT can happen in a week.
Mom went to an AA meeting at 12. I'm proud of her ...
1 Seduction |
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 20 January :: 12.31 am
:: Mood: Crushed ...
Could I be You- Matchbox20
I should've felt it this morning ... Mom left to buy alcohol. She got drunk, I had to take care of her. And its not that I don't want to take care of her. Its just ... why her? Why me?
Why Us ...
She also cut her thighs pretty deep. Enough to need come stitches. Don't really wanna talk about it anymore ...
I found my song. My life song ...
This is me guys ...
Something is wrong
With the sum of us
That I can't seem to erase
How can I be
The only one
Without a smile on my face
When now
You're laughing out loud
At just the thought of being alive
And I was wondering
Could I just be you tonight?
You show your pain
Like it really hurts
And I can't even
Start to feel mine
And I'm standing in place
With my head first
And I shake, I shake
And I see your progress
Stretched out for miles
And miles
You're laughing out loud
At just the thought of being alive
And I was wondering
Could I just be you tonight?
This is the sound that I make
These are the words I chose
But somehow the right thing to say
Just won't come out, just won't come out
And you're laughing out loud
At just the thought of being alive
And I was wondering
Could I just be you tonight?
I was wondering
Could I just be you
Tonight
I was wondering
I was wondering
I was wondering
I was wondering, yeah
Exactly me ...
I keep ... having these break downs. I'll be sitting here and thinking about the doctors office visit and Brandon and stuff and I just .... break down and cry and I don't wanna move. And then I'll force myself to stop.
But I don't wanna stop ... =(
I really REALLY don't want to stop. I just want it all to go away ... And it won't. It's always here. ALWAYS.
And there's so much more! And I just ... can't get it all out.
Brandon's supposed to be getting out of jail tomorrow ...
But I have a feeling he won't be coming home tomorrow.
And I'll be alone all over again ...
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 19 January :: 3.13 pm
:: Mood: I'm actually about ready to die at this point ...
According to the Which Something Corporate Song Are You? Test...
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 19 January :: 10.44 am
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: I hate everything about you-Three days Grace
Went to the doctor, got results. All I'm saying ...
I REALLY need a cigarette
Brandon should be out tomorrow but for some reason, I'm just not thinking he will be. Pretty negative thing for me to say but ... I dunno.
I stayed the night with Amanda last night.
We had fun for the most part. The trucks came into goodwill and were unloading things so we all decided to do something illegal and run over there and "shop". We found these corsette dresses .. Very pretty ;)
We cut the corsettes off because they were TEENY TINY and we made skirts!!! Mine is HUGE and fluffy like hell. And its pink. It's so cool ... I'll probably wear it with a t-shirt or something next time I see brandon =) He'll freak ...
Amanda did my hair in this cool dread look. It looked awesomely grungy (Not nasty grungy ... awesome grungy) when we took it down. Great stuff ...
And that was like, the highlight of the month. So that's just gotta tell you right there how boring my life is.
Oh, I also got this marty grawl (sp?) man ... I'm gonna hang him on my wall ... Yep.
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 17 January :: 10.06 pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: Iris- Goo Goo Dolls
I really need to get drunk ... or something close to that relation.
Where the FUCK did everything go wrong!?
Jesus christ!
He's in there ... all alone. And I don't even know how he's doing .. =(
I can't even talk to him ... Or see him ...
Or touch him ...
And I don't even know when i'll be able to ...
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 17 January :: 8.07 pm
:: Mood: Pretty Shitty...
Sitting here ... Eating cereal. Thinking of Brandon and wondering why everything had to turn out the way it did.
I wonder if anybody will ever invent something to make your hair stay wet and stringy for as long as you like? .... Just a thought
All I've done today is taken those stupid quizzez 'n shit to get my mind off things. Sometimes you just have to stop and face reality though ...
Ya know what I mean?
your aura is corruption
you've seen a lot of bad things in your life, and
in turn, you tend to cause a lotof harm in
other people's lives, either intentionally or
not. you were most likely abused in some way in
the past, and feel as though you should take
your hurt out on the world. you're not quite
evil, but you are getting their fast, with your
destructive desires.
what kind of aura do you have
brought to you by Quizilla
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 17 January :: 5.25 pm
:: Mood: gloomy
Black:
PEOPLE SUCK THE WORLD SUCKS EVERYBODY SHOULD BE
KILLED AND BLEED TO DEATH TILL THE COLD EARTH
SOAKS IN BLOOD. Well, you're angry at the
world. For reasons who knows, but you
definately hate life.
What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 17 January :: 4.52 pm
:: Mood: blah
I love this movie =)
you're the virgin suicides. you're sad but pretty, and very, very dreamy.
take the which prettie movie are you? quiz, a product of the  slinkstercool community.
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 17 January :: 12.53 pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: Iris-Goo Goo Dolls
...the days are going by so slow.
I just wish Tuesday would come. =(
Mom sold my blue bass. When the guy got home ... He called back and said that he found some of my poetry and stuff in there and wanted to know if I wanted it back. I really didn't want anybody seeing that stuff. I mean, not all of it was things I wrote but still ... Mom said she'd go by to pick it all up. Which means, she's gonna read it.
People are still calling about the guitars so I'll probably need to go take a shower n stuff before they all get here.
Until then, I'll just fill my journal up with stupid surveys from Bzoink...
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 16 January :: 11.06 pm
:: Mood: blank
I haven't written in a while ... There's SO much going on....
I'm gonna be sort of brief about everything.
Moms an alcoholic ... thats about all there is to say about that.
Brandon's in jail =( He got suspendid from school for wearing blue ... Its "gang related" only, they never get onto anybody else! when he went back to school, some senior threw his shit everywhere so he walked out of the ISS room. His probation officer took him to Randall County. She said she might let him out Tuesday if he doesn't do one thing wrong but if he fucks up, hes in for a long time.
Last night, mom was drunk and was talking about suicide but never actually came out and said it. I caught her trying to get the gun cabinet open and she started crying some because she couldn't do it. But then she said she keeps hers loaded. She asked me if I would ever forgive her ...
I cried all night. I didn't even have anybody to talk to. My boyfriend is gone and my mom doesn't wanna be here. And one day, I'll lose her too.
It all started yesterday because Jerry started yelling because he had to do the dishes. He got in moms face and said she was a bad mom. She does EVERY fucking little thing for us. He had no right to say that. And then, when I tried to defend her, Jerry said that If I said one more word, he'd hit me and he wouldn't stop until i stopped moving. Wonderful brother, eh? And then earlier, he acted as if nothing happened at all.
He's an asshole ...
Ya know, earlier I was thinking that I'd like to see what it would be like with a girl. I mean, i've thought about it a whole bunch before but now its like, I'm really interested in it all. I love my boyfriend though, so I'm not gonna do anything within the near future.
I'll write later...
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 12 January :: 5.51 pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: Vampire- Rob Zombie
I HAD a really long entry in here ealier but the stupid computer shut down and it allll got deleted so I guess I'll go through the shit all over again later.
Masochist
The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 11 January :: 1.29 pm
:: Mood: amused
Haha ... I thought this was pretty cool concidering I AM a Bass Player and I DO have a thing for the drummers ;)
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 11 January :: 1.11 pm
:: Mood: indescribable
I woke up this morning feeling much better ... And then I went to the bathroom. So, now I'm in pain again! I can't even stand up without my legs shaking and even just sitting, I can't stop shaking either.
I lost another pound. A total of 20 altogether now. I need to lose 10 more to be where I was last year but I need to lose a shitload to be where I wanna be.
I took a shower because I thought it might make me feel better but it didn't. On the plus side, I do feel nice and clean!
Something I feel the need to complain about, My zippo is gone!!! I set it on the couch and SOMEBODY picked it up. I'm interested to know who. My first suspect- My Stepdad ...
Much Love
Me
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 10 January :: 7.41 pm
:: Mood: Homicidal
:: Music: Three Days Grace
UGH!
Well ... Here's the "unbelievably wonderful" evening I had.
First of all, the bladder infection hasn't really got much better. On the other hand, i lost an additional pound.
Secondly, I'm supposed to go see my boyfriend for that Bar-B-Q, right? WELL, his mom's fucking boyfriend asks for gass money AGAIN. We don't make Brandon give us gas money, Brandon's mom has borrowed about 100 dollars and never paid it back (after she said she would) and they still expect us to give them gas money because "money doesn't grow on trees"
NO SHIT!
Jesus Christ! UGH. So then ... We have my older brother, Jerry. Doesn't do shit around the house and doesn't bother with the chores he's supposed to do. Me and Taylor do ALL our chores before we do anything and then Jerry lies about the shit he DOESNT do. Then, He has the nerve to say "Yeah, well, I'm the only one that ever even cleans the bathroom ... and when you guys do, you do a shitty job"
I swear to god, If he ever even went NEAR the bathroom with cleaner, I'd die of shock.
And then! We take what happened NOW for instance! "Mom, how do you spell this??" *Jerry comes running in the living room screaming "god!"* and yells the spelling to me. Did I ask him??? ummm.. Not Hardly.
Another thing I feel the sudden need to complain about. Earlier ... Jerry is on our computer, While I was on I might add, and then whines that his computer is broken so he needs ours to talk to this girl that he really wants to be with (even though he has a fiance). Hmmmm, Well, let me think back through out the years.
Thinking: Our computer has been royally fucked millions of times. When we asked to use his ... he threw a fit and screamed at us.
He also uses OUR phone. When he ran ours dead, he'd plug another in ... run that one dead and use ours again. But if WE wanted to use the phone .... Oh god, that just couldn't happen. We might run it dead!
I really REALLY hate him ...
Brandon said some things to me that really hurt alot ... and then I come out of my room and I have to hear all of Jerry's shit.
I wasn't in the best mood before all that happened either because of all the court shit and the guilt I'm feeling.
And yet again, Jerry comes to start shit ...
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 10 January :: 4.12 pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: (I Hate) Everything about you- Three Days Grace
Better and Worse
Hmm ...
Well, I must say that I'm feeling somewhat better but I'm still stuck with the damn bladder infection. Mom said she thinks there may be more there but ... Who the hell knows?
Good News- I haven't been able to eat because I've been so sick ... So, I have now lost 19 pounds from my top weight.
Yay! =)
Brandon is having a Bar-B-Q at his house today. Mom didn't want me to go at first because "I need to get some rest" (This is true, but I'm sick of rest).
I have now come to the conclusion that BLADDER INFECTIONS are really the things that drive people to suicide.
Not depression ....
Much Love
Me
1 Seduction |
Seduce Me ... |
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