Goodbye

Goodbye

:: 2010 11 March :: 10.02 am

Lol.
I love how you said you hate that one.
And then you get it.
You hypocrite.

:: 2010 9 March :: 9.27 pm

...
"Suppose I happen to know a unique flower, one that exists nowhere in the world except on my planet, one that a little sheep can wipe out ina single bite one morning, just like that, without even realizing what he's doing - that isn't important?" His face turned red now, and he went on. "If someone loves a flower of which just one example exists among all the millions and millions of stars, that's enough to make him happy when he looks at the stars. He tells himself, 'My flower's up there somewhere...' But if the sheep eats the flower, then for him it's as if, suddenly, all the stars went out. And that isn't important?"

This made me cry. I bought and read The Little Prince by Antoine De Saint-Exupéry for the bus trip home. It's beautiful words captivated my heart. I have never read a book so true to my childhood imagination, reasoning, and thought. I feel very much for the little prince as my childhood was as lonely as his may have been. Though friends and family mean the most to you, your heart is often empty. You have so many questions, just like the little prince does, and your questions never seem as important to anyone else as they are to you. And they all matter... but no one ever seems to realize that. That book is so special.

And on to my weekend, I had a fun... yet... interesting time.
After my last post it was Saturday. Celeste and I went to Pike's Place Market. It was busy but fun. We came home after getting quite a few treats and some lunch and took a nap together. No, no sleeping actually took place. Wade came home and joined us in bed. And Celeste proceeded to kiss me... and it took a very long time. We were in bed for nearly 5 hours. The sun went down.

That evening we had a party. Her friends from work and one of Wade's friends came over and we drank, played Apples to Apples, and played Scategories. In addition we learned of an extremely awesome internet side-scroller game : http://games.adultswim.com/robot-unicorn-attack-twitchy-online-game.html . She has an extremely attractive work mate named Mike Check. We made fun of him. But he is very very sweet. He works with disabled and mentally handicapped children. And he was never rude during the entire night. Very polite, sensitive, pleasing person.

Anyways, on with Sunday. They slept until 3pm. It was a very late night. But I remained in my room and awoke at just 12pm, waiting for everyone to wake up, texting people. Then we had some fun hot tub time after it got dark. It was raining and we all dared each other to jump in the unheated pool (thermometer read 34 degrees) and then get back into the hot tub. It was the coldest I've ever been. But right back into the warmth.

We dropped Juan (Wade's school buddy) off at the theater and we went to fondue all dressed up. The Melting Pot in Bellevue is very expensive. But it is very much worth it. We went during happy hour so our entire meal (not the drinks) was half off. It still ended up being $140 with the tip. Our waiter was amazing though. Again, another boy who is eye candy, he didn't write a single thing down, we had about 6 replacements to our orders with Celeste and mys allergies, all of our questions, and so many courses, he did it all perfectly. There were no mistakes what soever. We didn't even get a dessert we were so incredibly full from the 3 courses we already had. We will do that some other time though. It was just fantastic.
We headed home and got in the hot tub again. The sky was clear this night and we saw so many stars. Orion, the dippers, other constellations, Saturn, Sirius, the north star, star clusters, all visible, all beautiful. Then that night they invited me to sleep in their bed with them. It was very cramped as it was a full size bed. And I accepted. Nothing much happened but a very awkward few hours with Wade... And then we all went to sleep.

Monday we went to the Pacific Science Center. Again, the couple awoke quite late and we didn't get much time at all to explore the center before watching Alice & Wonderland in 3d at the Imax there. I decided to treat them both to this. We did get to take pictures of the butterflies, though. And I very much enjoyed the movie. It was so creative :) I love Tim Burton. And I was half expecting it to be a pile of shit with all the hype. It was awesome though! We then had some Ivar's, explored the Pier, got some tea for Daniel at the market, and then came home to Redmond. We ordered pizza, had some ice cream, and Celeste and I cuddled and talked and laughed and cried about a whole ton of shit.

This morning I woke up, gave Celeste a kiss goodbye, and rode home on the bus. I washed my puppy, had very good sex with Ryan (yay for hooker heals and Rob Zombie!), and got to catch up on some Z's.

All together it was a very worth while trip. I had my confidence boost about 1 million points with that make out... I'm not quite sure why. My fear of it was just silly after all. And I intend to be a girl-kissing slut for a while. I like Celeste very much but still feel a need to explore my... sexuality? It was very freeing kissing a lady... or someone other than Ryan lol. She said I'm delicious and an amazing kisser and just simply fantastic. Soft lips, not too much tongue, sweet breath, I guess I'm just very good at that... Lol.

Anyways, yes. That was my weekend. A nice time away from home.
Now I have my birthday coming up. I hopefully will be able to go to Penn and Teller. Jessica is throwing me a birthday party :) I also am finishing up my last very few applications, hoping to make them perfect. And back to work after tomorrow. I'm not quite ready to let go of my vacation though...

And I finally know how she felt. I couldn't understand her being ok with everything. Now I do. Now I understand her very well. And it won't matter now at all. But still, it helps to know that at least someone understands those uncomfortable, awkward, I don't want this but I'm too afraid to say no because I kind of feel sorry for you... moments. Goodnight then.

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:: 2010 6 March :: 8.44 am
:: Mood: irritated

Awkward?
(Warning: I have a free pass to do anything I want with anyone this weekend given to me from Ryan and supported by Wade)

I don't get why I can't kiss her yet.
Yesterday we went to her massage therapist. He was this really cool old dude, Jefferson. He basically gave Celeste an awesome massage. Then halfway through he asked me if I'd like to learn some of the techniques. I thought it would be fun to rub down a beautiful girl so, of course, I said sure. Now I can say I was taught by a professional so anyone who wants massages, come to me! It was quite fun, actually. Obviously the sensuality and closeness with Celeste, but also the act of just massaging. She said it was amazing and so I think I'll practice a bit later.

From there we got into the sauna with our bathing suits. I wasn't too much a fan. We were all sweaty when we got out about 10 or 15 minutes later and then Jefferson gave us this mango/coriander scrub (I thought it smelled of apricots) to lather all over each other in the shower. And so we did. And it was glorious. It would have been the absolute perfect moment to do something. All alone, hot and steamy, just perfect.

We got home and Celeste and Wade had to do their homework. I got a text from Wade that asked if I was okay. He asked me to go into the bedroom and talk for a bit alone. I told him how I kept making moves on her and she would pull away every time. He told me how she did as well. It was all this big miss-communicating mess. And when I got out she looked happy... like she might have heard everything through the very thin walls.

We've been dancing around this mutual attraction for a full year now - since her last birthday. If it's the last thing I do, we are going to have another perfect moment this weekend. And then, the advantage will be taken.