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joslyn_julia

:: 2010 5 August :: 12.13am

somedays, when i see the wedding albums of all the people i know on facebook, i get sad. I am happy for the people... don't get me wrong, but i wish that i could have gotten those things.
no wedding cake
no pretty white dress
no pictures

i wish i could have that fairy tale.

Kick My Bucket


joslyn_julia

:: 2010 30 July :: 3.32pm

it's a bit messed up when i start singing songs in my head just to avoid these arguments. I want this fuck head of a "guest" not to come back.

Kick My Bucket


joslyn_julia

:: 2010 25 July :: 12.14pm

sometimes I think my "friends" are just politely saying they don't want to see me in encrypted messages. I want a heart of stone. I hate feeling like this is all a lie.

If that's the truth tho, i guess i will never find out. My phone calls and attempts to do things can just be continuously evaded. Life goes on right, and nobody will ever truly understand how damaged i feel, how empty, or how alone.

1 - | Kick My Bucket


joslyn_julia

:: 2010 23 July :: 5.46pm

somedays my dad just annoys me!

Kick My Bucket


joslyn_julia

:: 2010 21 July :: 11.25pm

the people who told me to open up and trust have hurt me worst of all. it would figure right

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joslyn_julia

:: 2010 14 July :: 5.14pm

i am feeling a bit mischievous! I wish I could come back to MI for a few days while my hubby is traveling.

And maybe I am.... oh yay!

Kick My Bucket


joslyn_julia

:: 2010 13 July :: 7.16pm

I'm sick of fighting. I am sick of headaches and I AM SICK OF CLEANING UP THE SAME MESSES! I just want to be happy and calm. Is that too much to ask for?

Why is it that I don't' ever get a break, and as soon as he comes home from work that is all he gets. It's just the same redic. shit on another fucking day. And I wonder why I don't have a portfolio at all going into my senior year... maybe if i had the time to ever be creative I wouldn't feel like such a worthless sac.

Kick My Bucket


joslyn_julia

:: 2010 6 July :: 12.33pm
:: Mood: listless

why is it that friends just make me sad? or I feel broken because I am just all alone.

In other non whining about how my friends make me depressed news... apparently August 7th we (and by we, I mean my graduating class) are having a 5 year beach party. I like how it is not really official and I am invited through facebook. Maybe I'll sit on the beach here in Kenosha staring out at Lake Michigan thinking... Wow has it really been 5 years? I don't need to go home to see all those people. Most of the people I care enough to keep tabs on are facebook friends, and I wasn't much wanted or needed 5 years ago, so I think I can wait another 5 years to go and see that crowd anyways.

Mike is thankfully enjoying his new job and left for a 24 hour trip to pick up 3 ppl to bring back to WI tomorrow.
The suck thing is that as always I am left alone.
Being a cooped up bitch must just be the life. Although, you would think with how social I can be professionally, I would have more friends. Funny how it works, that the rest of the time I am just a wall flower, with nothing and no one.

1 - | Kick My Bucket


joslyn_julia

:: 2010 24 June :: 8.51am

ya know considering that I am 23 I should not be having petty arguments with my mom. I am so sick of being blamed for her finances I could just smack her.

I as an only child, should be able to expect some help with buying clothes. Oh wait... I had to buy my own shit in high school, why the fuck would I get help now.

I am fed up with not having appropriate clothes for the season and even more annoyed that I am constantly having to get clothes that my friends are getting rid of, and then keeping them forever, just because I constantly am unable to get any clothes for myself. I really wish I had the gumption in high school that I have now... but it's prolly good I didn't, or I would have been in a lot of fights.

I am not spoiled! I have to work for what I want/ need. And considering that everyone thinks my parents are rich just because we have a jewelry store... wake the fuck up and smell the roses. The only people who seem to buy gold these days are place who are selling it to china. And people buying 9karat or less stamped goods coming from china with.... *drumroll please*... unregulated markings!
People keep buying crap that is marked totally wrong. What happened to trade regulation, and pride in work? What happened to honesty? We are living in an era where it is so difficult to find any of the things we ought to have. Decency is gone... for the most part. I am sick of living in a world where it feels like I am the only one who cares.

What's worse is Mike doesn't even want to understand. I feel totally fucking alone. I should probably be used to that by now... since it's just about all i've felt for the last 10 years.

3 -Buckets Kicked | Kick My Bucket


joslyn_julia

:: 2010 21 June :: 9.23am

I'm on the pursuit of happiness <3


Mike starts his new job today. And I am wishing I could have stayed in MI for at least another week.

Oh yeah... and wake up sex rocks! lol

Kick My Bucket


joslyn_julia

:: 2010 13 June :: 11.20pm

somedays i think i am cursed to always be alone... might as well start getting used to my own company

Kick My Bucket


joslyn_julia

:: 2010 26 May :: 10.28pm

i hate that mike isn't working normal hours. i hate not being able to know when the heck he'll be home...

Kick My Bucket


joslyn_julia

:: 2010 20 May :: 1.53pm

sometimes life makes me feel like we will always be stuck between a rock and a hard place. thankfully things somewhat pan out. and thank God that our land lord is willing to work with us and can understand how life happens.

a long weekend of work and weddings in MI is coming up.

Kick My Bucket


joslyn_julia

:: 2010 18 May :: 9.35am

almost done with school for the semester... thank god. and it seems funny to me how many people are now photographers that I know. at least we all have our own niche, which makes me not as bothered by it.
This week shall be filled with cleaning and rearranging... then off to MI for Garrett and Amanda's wedding. I need to find a job like asap, but right now i feel way too sleepy to even think about what i have to do for my exam in 30 mins.
everything will pan out... i have to believe that much.

Kick My Bucket


joslyn_julia

:: 2010 14 May :: 1.28pm

i'm quite amused by the way that people lie to make others feel better after a breakup. Ah well, perhaps in the end we shall find that the truth always comes out... but i'm not going to be the bitch to ruin everyones day!

although i am very amused!

Kick My Bucket

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