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these words at best were worse than teenage poetry.

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:: 2002 26 November :: 3.45 pm
:: Mood: Eager
:: Music: Nirvana

My dreams
Hey! I fogot to tell you about my dreams. Last night I had 2 dreams. Ok
In the first one, Jessie Wilde borke her leg. And I saw it. And I'm not sure exactly how, but I'm pretty sure she was trying to help someone else. I dont' know why she was in my dream, I really don't know her that well, but hey dreams are cooky. So anyways she broke her leg and I felt so bad that I went and visited her in the hospital and I ended up getting lost. So I was talking to her in the hospital and she said she was jealous of my hair and I wanted to tell her I was jealous of her but I couldn't for some reason(weird). Then I visited her again and brought her a note that I had written that said how i felt, which I don't remember. ok that's the first dream
In the second one, I was climbing this tree at the end of my dirveway and this kid on a dirtbike was going by and I was hiding from him, i don't know why. But he saw me so he turned around and came back and it was the guy I like's bro. WEird, so we were talkng, about what I don't know. And I was walking him home for some reason. It was icky though.
So yeah, those were my dreams, lots to read, sorry, you're probly bored huh? well bye for now.

10 brave fucks | as if your opinion matters


:: 2002 26 November :: 3.38 pm
:: Mood: energetic
:: Music: Saliva

Plans
HEy Everybody! How are you? I'm good. I had A good day. And 2night I'm going to that band bowling party so that should be fun. YEah. I'm kinda sad though cuz I don't really have fun plans for the weekend, and it's dawning on me that I'll never have enough $$ to buy the things I want to for my friends, even with the tutoring, before christmas. Oh well. I'll just feel bad then. Darn. Can you give me a break guys? YEah I did find a great deal on CDs at this website, so I got the cds my friends want covered. As long as they get here in time. BUt I have lots of major shopping to do and I have no clue what to get my parents. any Ideas? Well, I have time to think I guess. I should go now. bye

as if your opinion matters


:: 2002 25 November :: 3.29 pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Saliva

I dunna Just read it
Hey, Everybody! What's up? How are you? I hope you had a better weekned than I did. I'm nerous adn excited cuz I gotta go tutor in like 15 minutes. My mind is filled with "what if" questions that accompany all first time events. It's driving me insane. Oh well. I'll live insanely for a while now. I'm glad we only have two days of school this week, but I feel like its going too fast. I'm already planning my b-day party. It's only two and a half weeks away! You should come to my party. Yes, you. Come to my b-day party. It'll be boring and girly. Isn't that tempting? J/k lol. ok I'm not funny. WEll, Ive not nothing else to say now. BYebye.

as if your opinion matters


:: 2002 24 November :: 4.29 pm
:: Mood: discontent
:: Music: Theory of A Deadman

Grrr. wow
Hey Everybody! How are you? I'm just peachy. I had lots of fun doing nothing this weekend. Now I don't wanna go to school tomorrow. I really don't. But I don't wanna stay home either because my mom has the day off. grrr. darn Oh well. I drove today. It was fun, illegal fun. Yup. And I'm kinda nervous cuz tomorrow I start tutoring and, yeah, I don't wanna mess up or anything, that would suck. grrr. I'm anry at myself for letting me be so naive and insecure. Grr. I'll have to go lift weights later then. darn. grr. Stupid me, why do I get myself into these things. I better stop making me mad. Ok then, I'll go now. bYe to you . Bye to me. heehee, I'm not really crazy, R U? Bye then.

as if your opinion matters


:: 2002 22 November :: 3.57 pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: Limp Biskit "Rollin"

Just Read
Hey everybody! How are you? I'm alright, I guess. I do feel kinda sad and pathetic cuz I have nothing to do all weekend. I have to sit home all alone watching TV and playing compie games. darn. i had a good day though. I presented my poster in english and did good-I got 104 out of 100. That was cool, cosidering I had stayed up an extra hour and a half last night working on it. Then I almost forgot it this morning, but I went back and got it. Also, I made 2nd chair concert band on Wednesday. Isn't that cool? It's not wind ensemble, but still pretty good. So yeah. did I tell you? I might have job tutoring a few peeps in math. It's cool cuz its easy and I'll get $$. I hope i get to. Yeah. heehee I wrote yeha again. I do that alot and stacy's always like yeeeeehhhhhaaaaa!!!! It's funny. I passed the driver ed. test yesterday! IT's great. I did bad onit, but I passed so it doesn't matter. i'm gonna miss it. I laughed like constantly. I'm never gonna see laura agian, though. darn. Oh well. SO what are you doing this weekend? yeah I read about that in your journal. Sounds like fun. yeah well. That's all for now. e-mail me! Bye

1 brave fuck | as if your opinion matters


:: 2002 20 November :: 3.25 pm
:: Mood: hyper
:: Music: G.C .

Heehee
hey everybody! How are you today? no, really, how are you? you know what? I am in trouble. i need to go shopping. really bad. cuz tomorrow is Bonnie's b-day and I didn't get any thing for her cuz she just told me today. And My sister's b-day was last month but I never got to see her so the fact that I hadn't gotten her anything didn't matter but now she's coming home next week, so I have to get her stuff, but she want's HelloKitty stuff and I can't find any anywhere. IT's terrible. I feel so bad. grrr... I am mad @ myself. For other reasons too. I constantly let myself make a fool of myself. I'm pathetic. BUt don't tell me that cuz I'll cry. K? =) ok so you haven't replied. Why not? guess that's all. I hope you do but there's nothin I can do about it. bye then, a tout a l'heure. heehee bye then

as if your opinion matters


:: 2002 19 November :: 4.25 pm
:: Mood: jubilant
:: Music: Bon Jovi "Everyday"

Not quite sure what Jubilant means
Hey Everybody! How are you? I'm good, but I'm amazed at how fast everyhting is happening these days. Like driver's ed. is almosst over!! only 3 more days! and thatnksgiving is next week! i just realized it. I never saw it coming. grrr. I feel like I'm missing everything, it's just passing me by while I sit here on my computer writing to you, who never writes back. Grrr AHHH!! Make it stop! I like the chaos of it though. That's always nice. But I want to go out and do something right now! But I can't drive, otherwise I would. Darn. Just one more year til I do and I can barely wait. Somebody needs to e-mail me or call me or something cuz I'm all bored and lonely now.
!!! What are you waiting for?!!?
What are you doing? Why aren't you doing anything else? You're just sitting there. Go do something!!
and have fun.
bye now =)

as if your opinion matters


:: 2002 17 November :: 7.01 pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: our lady peace "innocent"

think
Hey, How are you!! i'm good. Just got done talkin to stacy, my best bud. I had a dull weekend. How was yours? My ankle hurts right now. Very much so. I need something. I need a massage or something. I need a caribbean cruise. Don't we all? I need a guy too, but that's another story. I'm mentally tired, from doing nothing all weekend. My sister is gone again. i can't belive all the things she gets away with now. it's ridiculous. Really, she leaves one night and doesn't coem home until two nights later and my parents do nothing. I would beat her with a *cotton swab* if it was up to me. I want somebody to call me right now. I just need to vent, but I can't here. Not publicly. you wouldn't undertstand. Unless you thought about it apathetically, which you wouldn't. Cuz you feel he same way, but won't admit it. so if I did you'd deny it, and subject me to weird looks and discreet finger pointings. think about it.

as if your opinion matters


:: 2002 13 November :: 4.02 pm
:: Mood: weird
:: Music: Saliva

Heydo!
hey, Everybody! How are you? My day was good. Not especially wonderful, though...just good. I had a donut for breakfast at school this morning and now i feel fat cuz I already had three meals today (I don't normally eat breakfast). So I'm gonna go on a diet. I hate dieting. But then I look in the mirror and yeah, I diet. And I know I shouldn't care cuz looks really shouldn't matter, but I'm still vain and I think I'll feel better if I'm skinnier. Right? Yeah but I'm never gonna talk about that agian cuz its so girly and stuff and it's annoying. So Today in bio. I was playing with my pen, and the inside part flipped up and hit the board right in front of Ms. Fourniers face adn the whole class saw it. I was laughing my head off. It was great. And in geometry I had a test and I actually thought it was easy and never really had to think. Well, I don't have much else to share today. maybe tomorrow. buhbye

as if your opinion matters


:: 2002 12 November :: 4.50 pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: american hi-fi. Beautiful Disaster

I'm happy
Hey!1 What's up? How are you?
I'm cold and and I'm bored. I had a
good day though. One of the guys
I like did something that makes me
believe he likes me too, grrrr. I sound so
immature. I'm sorry. I'm still mad
at myself though, Oh well.
I have to finish band tryouts tomorrow
and i have to go first! i already played
my melody in front of the whole class
and I did ok on that, but tomorrow
we have to do the sight reading, which
I heard is really hard, but he may
have been kidding. I've done it before
though so it shouldn't be that bad.
I just don't like being judged..Ya know?
well, yeah. so I'm happy. I hope you are too.
ok? Ya hear that? be happy. if your
happy and you know it clap your hands.
I've been singing that a lot lately.
It's always fun. I'm immature I know.
I'll see you tomorrow!!

as if your opinion matters


:: 2002 11 November :: 3.33 pm
:: Mood: lazy
:: Music: Sugarcult- Pretty Girl

Not much
Hey everybody!! How are you? How was your weekend? Mine was boring. Now I'm feeling hyper, but I don't want to do anything (like my bio homework) so I'm writng here and talking to stacy instead. YEah, so my day was pretty good, a little boring at times, but ok. How are you? Did you go see 8mile? I heard a lot of different things about it. Some loved it and some thought it was boring. What did you think? Or if you didn't see it, was it cuz you didn't want to and why? TELL ME!! I really didn't plan on seeing it, it didnt look good to me. I don't really like eminem's music, but I hear good things, so I may change my mind.
well, that's really all for today. Or for now at least. Talk to you tomorrow!!

1 brave fuck | as if your opinion matters


:: 2002 6 November :: 4.17 pm

">Laid-Back%20Virgin
What Kind of Virgin Are You?
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1 brave fuck | as if your opinion matters


:: 2002 5 November :: 5.18 pm
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: Theory of a Deadman

Hey, Everybody! How are you? I'm in a good mood because it snowed a lot today!! I love the snow, it's so pretty. I'm cold right now though. I started driver ed. yesterday, ya know. Well, it was the most boring thing ever. All we did was listen to Mr. R talk for an hour, then we read a book "silently" for a half an hour, then listened to him talk again. and we have our first test on thursday! I'm just glad I'm not one of the people that had to start driving today. I would crash into a pole in the parking lot or something. But I don't start driving until December, which means I'll have to drive in the snow so that's kind of a bummer. well, enough about driving. Wait, i can't think of anything else to say except that I'm confused because becky said somehting in her journal that made no sense to me. I mean, wow, I wish she would have filled me in, being friends and all, but I guess I'm just not special enough to understand her probs. SO Have a nice day everybody! Ttyl

1 brave fuck | as if your opinion matters


:: 2002 4 November :: 5.20 pm
:: Mood: giddy
:: Music: New Found Glory

Hey, everybody! How are you? i'm good. A little cold though. My sister moved back home yesterday after a fight with the friend she had been living with. Now she wants money. I think it's funny. ou probly don't. oh well. I'm starting drivers training in like an hour. I'm excited about that. It should be fun. I heard it was really boring. I'm supposed to have tennis practice tomorrow though, and I don't think I can go because of drivers training. I don't know. And try-outs for band started todya and I lost the music i'm supposed to play for it, which i hadn't practiced anyways, but luckily my section didn't have to go today. I'llhave to do it tomorrow then and I still don't have the music to practice. I guess I'm gonna do bad. oh well, I hope you peeps that are in band do better than me. well, I g2g now. Hope you have a good day now. bye til tomorrow

1 brave fuck | as if your opinion matters


:: 2002 1 November :: 3.54 pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: Our lady Peace

Assorted
Hey, everybody! How's it goin? I'm trying really hard not to be hostile and angry and negative right now. It's hard after reading Erika's comment. I wrote a reply and I was actually not mean or angry when I wrote it, even though it may sound that way. well, I had fun last night trick-or-treating, did you? Yeah, I just wish it would've lasted longer. Ya know? Like time flies when you're having fun.

ya know, i've been asking you questions he last, like, three entries and You haven't ansered any of them. Isn't that interesting (said with sarcasm)? I reall ywish you would say something. Anyways, we(the band) have to play our halftime show in the playoffs today and it's really cold and it was snowing earlier so it should be a challenge. I don't know how i'm getting there or home, yet. My mom is being superselfish and immature lately and has refused to take me anywhere then she grounded me last night for being home at 9:30 when curfew is 11 but i said I would probly be home around 9. isn't that dumb? besides it's not like I could've called because I was trick-or-treating. ya know? Yeah but she'll forget by tomorrow that I'm grounded so hopefully I can go to the party tomorrow. if I decide I want to go. I don't want to go alone, though. I asked Amanda to come along and she might be able to come and I asked stacy but I don't think she can come. i don't know what I'm doin. I don't really have any other plans for the weekend so I'lll probly write a few times, so TTY then. Have a nice day and night and weekend.

as if your opinion matters


:: 2002 31 October :: 9.45 pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: Default

It's halloween
hye, everybody! How are you? I'm a little tired. I just got back from trick-or-treating which didn't turn out the way it was supposed to(in my plan). i was supposed to go to trufant with some friends, but actually ended up goin to Greenville with my sis and her friend jamie and Jamie's lover Todd. Well we didn't do much trick-or -treating cuz we didn't leave til 7 and it ended at eight. but we went tlater than that anyways, so it was wild though, cuz Jamie was driving and her brakes don't wrok and she's crazy and todd actually climbed out the window and onto the roof of the car at one point. Jamie freaked out and swerved a little then stopped the car and made him get off. Ahhh...My mom is yelling at me to go to bed. i forgot it was a schoolnight. whoops, I guess I gotta go. TTYT Goodnight. I hope you had a good halloween and have a good day tomorrow.

as if your opinion matters


:: 2002 31 October :: 4.13 pm
:: Mood: mellow
:: Music: Incubus

About me
Hey, everybody! How are you this spiffy halloween? I'm going trick-or-treating in a couple hours, hopefully. what are you doing? Well this is one of those personal quiz things I filled out just for you.
INFO
Age:14
College: yes, not sure which one
Location: home- C.S. MI
Color of Eyes: greyish blue
Hair: naturally blonde, but currently dark brown
Fantasy Height: 5 ft 8in
Shoe Size:9
Brothers/Sisters: two sisters, one bro-all moved out
Bedtime:none
--HAVE YOU EVER--
Ever been so drunk you blacked out: No!
Put a body part on fire for amusement: Ummmm.......NO!
Been in a car accident: no
Been hurt emotionally:constantly
Kept a secret from everyone: Yes
Had an imaginary friend: yes
Wanted to hook up with a friend: Yes
Cried during a movie: no Had a crush on a teacher: no
Ever thought an animated character was hot? yeah donít remember who it was though
Had a New Kids On The Block tape: nope
Cut your hair: yes, several times

FAVORITES--
Shampoo: Herbal Essences
Color: bright ones
Day/Night:night
Summer/Winter:winter
Lace or satin: satin

Food: donít know- unhealthy
Movie: action movies- XXX and stuff
Ice Cream: strawberry
--RIGHT NOW--
>Wearing: jeans and t-shirt
Drinking: strawberry milk
Thinking about: Guys
Listening to: incubus Talking to: you
Watching: you
WITHIN THE LAST 24 HOURS--
Cried: no
Worn a skirt: no
Met someone new: yes
Cleaned your room: no
Done laundry: no
Drove a car: no
>
--DO YOU BELIEVE IN--
Yourself: of course
Santa Claus: yeh
Tooth Fairy: nope
Angels: yes
Ghosts: sometimes
UFO's: no
Jesus Christ: yes

--FRIENDS AND LIFE--
Like anyone?: yes
Who's the weirdest?: Mitch
Who do you go to for advice? Stacy
Who do you think about most when you're not online?: Like Im gonna tell you-lol!
Who do you cry with?: myself and any friends that are around
When did you last cry?: a couple days ago
What's the best feeling in the world?: I wouldnít know
Worst Feeling?: I think fear
Are you:
Quiet or Loud?:
Loud
Short or Tall?:
average
Weird or Original?:
not sure, what do you think?
Nice or Mean?:
mostly mean
Friendly or Selfish?:
Selfish
Normal or Special?
normal
Smart or Stupid?
smart
Boring or Fun?:
boring
Attractive or unattractive?:
Unattractive
A psycho?:
Iíve been told I am but not recently
Athletic?:
yes
Funny?:
I try
Ghetto?:
no
Shy?:
sometimes
Two faced?:
can be
Obnoxious?:
yes
Immature?:
Yes
Mature?:
Yes
What do u think you'll be when you grow up?:
doctor
Do u think you'll get married?
no
Who is your best friend?:
I donít know
Have u ever had a dream about a guy and Who?:
Yes, all the time, but not romantically or sexually, and I wonít say who
Do u have a crush on anyone?: Yes, a few actually
Rebel or Angel:
Rebel!
~-Dating-~
Does the guy or girl make the first move!:
Guy
Do you kiss on the first date?:
Yes
and if you do kiss, who kisses who?:
The guy should kiss the girl
Friendly kiss or making out?:
Friendly first then maybe more
Should the guy have to pay?:
no but it would be nice

Well, I think there's more but not now. Feel free to comment if you think I said something wrong about myself.

1 brave fuck | as if your opinion matters


:: 2002 30 October :: 8.42 pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: Drowning Pool "Sinner"

How are you?
Hey, Everybody!! this is my second entry today. i'm really jumy now, thought my eylids are beginning to feel heavy. it's weird how tired i've been lately, I mean it's only like 8:30 and I'm a little tired, I'm pathetic, Don't you think? Geez, I swear the only people reading these are my friends, which is good, but I say everybody when really i could just name you out individually. Don't you ever realize that? This one guy did and so he put a link on his journal to his website and blockd comments and I just thought that was kinda dumb, because I mean you should be writing just to get it all out, right? well, anyways, how are you? I ask that every time and people never stop to think about how they really are or reply saying that they are good today. wow. I'm thinking too much. maybe it's cuz i dyed my hair so I'm not a blonde anymore. That's kinda stupid of me to think though. Oh, well, now I'm rambling on and on and thinking and typing and I think I'll stop now. Ok, are you going to Dani Lauer's party on saturday cuz if you are tell me because i want to go but not alone, and none of my friends are going, wait a minute if you are reading this you probly are a friend so I probly already know, right? ok well if you are going tell me ok? please and if you're not just leave a comment, or something just so I know you read my journal. That would be greatly appreciated. Please and thanx. bye til tomorrow

as if your opinion matters


:: 2002 30 October :: 8.42 pm

Hey, Everybody!! this is my second entry today. i'm really jumy now, thought my eylids are beginning to feel heavy. it's weird how tired i've been lately, I mean it's only like 8:30 and I'm a little tired, I'm pathetic, Don't you think? Geez, I swear the only people reading these are my friends, which is good, but I say everybody when really i could just name you out individually. Don't you ever realize that? This one guy did and so he put a link on his journal to his website and blockd comments and I just thought that was kinda dumb, because I mean you should be writing just to get it all out, right? well, anyways, how are you? I ask that every time and people never stop to think about how they really are or reply saying that they are good today. wow. I'm thinking too much. maybe it's cuz i dyed my hair so I'm not a blonde anymore. That's kinda stupid of me to think though. Oh, well, now I'm rambling on and on and thinking and typing and I think I'll stop now. Ok, are you going to Dani Lauer's party on saturday cuz if you are tell me because i want to go but not alone, and none of my friends are going, wait a minute if you are reading this you probly are a friend so I probly already know, right? ok well if you are going tell me ok? please and if you're not just leave a comment, or something just so I know you read my journal. That would be greatly appreciated. Please and thanx. bye til tomorrow

as if your opinion matters


:: 2002 30 October :: 4.33 am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: Disturbed Pray

Ordinary
Hey, Everybody!! Today was pretty ordinary except that I dyed my hair last night so i got comments about that. They were mixed, too, it was weird cuz some liked it and some really hated it and thought it looked bad, and it was funny cuz one of my friends didn't recognize me and then confused this other girl with me. I thought it was funny when she told me. today is devil's day but i'm not feeling devilish which is strange. I'm actually feeling like doing something productive. But here I sit at my compie letting you into my life. How are you? Do you like me based on my journals? I am a very vain person so I really do care what you think. I'm a little afraid to ask, though, so please don't be to poignant. Well, I don't have anything else to add right now, maybe later or tomorrow. bye til then.

as if your opinion matters

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