:: 2004 15 March :: 12.59 am

He came over for dinner tonight. It was the first time he met my parents. On the way over here I assured him we wouldn't hafta sit at the table with my parents, 'cause my parents always always sit in the living room to eat. And then I walk in the door and of course the table is set for us to all eat at... I felt so bad. But we ate fast and left the table quickly. I'm not sure what my parents thought of him, but they didn't really see him as he usually is. He had a hat on so they didn't see his hair, and he didn't wear any of his spikes. I think he got on my mom's good side though 'cause he said she seems too young and pretty to be a mom. I hope they like him, 'cause I do... a lot

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:: 2004 13 March :: 3.54 am

My sister actually came home today... she packed up her stuff and left. I don't really care that she's leaving, I just hate what she's doing to my mom. I haven't seen my mom cry that much since her grandma died. She's pretty much been moved out for a while, but now it's all "official" 'cause she took her stuff. All it means to me is not sharing the bathroom anymore.

It ended today =] It was the longest it had been in a long time, but I found somebody worth ending it for. And I had a wonderful afternoon/night.

As for you... I'm done living a fake life to try to protect you. I dunno what your deal is, but it's not fair to me. I didn't ask to have you feel this way about me. I'm sorry I can't return those feelings, but I can't tell my heart how to feel. I'm sick of not being able to talk openly 'cause what I say might hurt you. I'm sick of being afraid to tell you my plans for the day. I'm sick of not being able to share why I'm happy. And when I do tell you, I'm sick of you getting all pouty. And don't say you're not, I can tell. When you immediately hafta leave and tell me you won't talk to me till the weekend is over, that's being pouty. You go ahead and be mad at me. What should I do, fake feelings for you to make you happy? Sometimes I think it would be best if we had never met, then there wouldn't have been a chance for all of this to happen, you wouldn't hafta go through this. And as for me "only thinking of myself," next time I'm driving in the dark, on wet slippery roads, in the thick fog, while trying to keep you on the phone the whole way to your house, I'll remember that that's how you think of me and I'll turn around and go home...

I'm sorry but I can't do it anymore. I found something that makes me happy and I can't keep worrying about that breaking you...

1 | *

:: 2004 3 March :: 7.21 pm

vroom
We got a new vacuum today. It's purple, I like it. It's pretty quiet too, which is nice.


My parents are really really excited about it. I'm guessing the house will be vacuumed every day for a while. I guess when I need to suck up to my parents I can just buy them a new vacuum.


What an exciting post.... all about the new vacuum... woo

2 | *

:: 2004 28 February :: 3.25 am

oh my gosh oh my gosh!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!


Oh my gosh that was so great!!!



19 Wheels is so the greatest band in the world!!!

1 | *

:: 2004 26 February :: 11.50 pm

It wasn't quite what I hoped for, but it was still nice. Maybe someday things will go how I want them to in real life instead of just in my dreams. But then what would I have to dream about...

It was nice... fun...


Hey look, it's Willy Wonka

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:: 2004 26 February :: 12.43 am

That was probably my best piece of writing ever...

I'd share, but... no

:: 2004 25 February :: 12.30 pm
:: Mood: =[

You still make me cry...

I miss you

I love you

1 | *

:: 2003 4 May :: 11.31 pm

I visited her grave today.
I didn't intend to.
I was just walking and I ended up there.
It's the first time I've been there since she died.
It's not pretty.
Still just a big pile of dirt, a few weeds growing on it.
I cried. A lot.
That was the saddest part of my day, even though later I almost lost someone else I love greatly.
I think I'll start visiting her more often.
She deserves it, and I don't think anyone else visits her.


I miss her a lot =[

1 | *

:: 2003 25 February :: 10.26 pm

She's gone =[

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:: 2003 18 February :: 10.45 pm
:: Mood: depressed

=[

Why do you hafta leave me so soon?
I'm not ready for you to go yet.
I'm not done loving you.



Please don't go...

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:: 2003 14 February :: 12.00 am

Happy birthday to Troy =]

3 | *

:: 2002 9 May :: 10.46 pm
:: Mood: I think I'm gonna pass out...

*sigh*

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